May 25, 2010

Portsmouth, New Hampshire

“Did you ask him?” Cora whispered beside me.

“No, but why me? Why can’t you?” I asked. Creed was her brother and it was her idea to walk to town for ice cream. I felt weird asking him. He was busy.

Cora rolled her eyes at me. “Because he won’t say no to you,” she replied.

Frowning I glanced back at her brother, Creed Sullivan, and Jack Tate who had moved five houses down the street from the Sullivans this past fall. Jack was Creed’s new best friend. Last summer and all the summers before, Creed had always spent his days with me and Cora. This year things were different. Sure, he did some things with us, but he was with Jack more and more. They were currently playing basketball on the Sullivans’ driveway. I didn’t want to just go up and interrupt them. Things with Creed felt different now and our friendship wasn’t the same.

“When they’re done playing maybe they’ll want to go,” I suggested to Cora.

Cora sighed dramatically. “If you ask, Creed will want to go now. If my mother wasn’t being ridiculous, we would just go by ourselves, but she thinks Creed going keeps us safe. Like, seriously, what is he gonna do to protect us?”

Creed was dribbling the ball when he noticed us watching them. He paused and studied me a moment. I hated feeling like this with Creed. Why had things had to change? It had been so much easier before. This year things were too different. When I looked at Creed, my stomach did funny things and my cheeks felt warm. I liked him and not just as a friend. I really liked Creed Sullivan. In the past, I had always thought he was cute, but this year when he had smiled at me the first day I’d arrived at my Gran’s, I felt a little faint.

“Hey, Creed!” Cora called out to him, realizing he was looking this way.

He shifted his gaze to his sister. “Yeah?”

“Sailor wants to go get an ice cream in town, but mom says you have to go with us.” Cora told him, which was not true. I wanted to crawl in the bushes and hide from embarrassment.

Creed looked back to me and I knew my face was bright red. I could feel it. “You want ice cream?” he asked me.

I was about to tell him it could wait until he was done or that I didn’t actually need an ice cream when Cora jabbed me so hard with her elbow, I was sure it was going to leave a bruise. Wincing, I managed to nod my head.

“We’re in the middle of a game,” Jack said, stating the obvious.

Creed shot him a look I couldn’t see, then he turned back to me. “Okay, let’s go,” he said.

“You’re kidding? Jeez, dude, I know she’s hot but bros over…”

“Don’t finish that sentence,” Creed warned him.

“Told you,” Cora said under her breath in a sing-song voice. “My brother likes you, likes you.”

“No he doesn’t. Stop that,” I whispered, hoping to God he didn’t hear her.

“Even Jack’s noticed,” she added then winked at me.

Jack had said I was hot. Did Creed think I was too? The butterflies in my stomach started up again and I felt so awkward. I missed the days when being around Creed didn’t make me a ball of nerves.

Creed threw the ball at Jack, who caught it and made a umph noise.

“Can I come?” Jack asked.

“No,” Creed said, but he was looking at me. “Ready?” he then asked me.

I nodded then remembered I needed to go get money from Gran. “Can I go by Gran’s and get money first? Y’all can keep playing.”

“Y’all,” Jack repeated, laughing at me. He made fun of my accent a lot.

“Shut up,” Creed said, glaring at his friend.

Jack rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Call me when you’re done with her.”

Creed walked toward Cora and me. “I have money. You don’t need any,” he told me.

“Oh really, you can pay for mine too,” Cora told him in a sweet voice.

“You have your own money,” he said.

Cora nudged me again and said, “tell him to buy my ice cream too.”

I wished she would stop saying things like this around Creed. He may be her twin brother, but he wasn’t mine. I didn’t want to make him irritated with me. “I can go to Gran’s and get money for both of us,” I told her, while begging her with my eyes to stop embarrassing me.

“That’s okay. I’ll pay for hers too,” Creed said.

Last year I would have laughed about this and we would have all but run to town for ice cream. How did one year change us so much?

“Wicked cool! Let’s go get ice cream.” Cora beamed brightly, having gotten her way, and headed down the sidewalk without waiting for us to follow.

A corner of Creed’s mouth lifted in a crooked grin. “She’s a brat. You know that. Come on,” he said.

I relaxed a little then. This was Creed. We had built forts together, baited fishing hooks together, had sleep overs in backyard tents. He wasn’t a stranger. He was just beautiful now. Maybe he always had been. I was just realizing it this year. That was the difference.

We fell into step following Cora. This summer I had spent more time alone with her than I ever had. We weren’t a trio anymore. Creed had Jack and I missed him. Moments like this, when he did something with us, made the world feel right again. The Sullivan twins were the best part of my year, and I only got to be with them in the summers.

Creed’s hand touched mine and my breathing hitched. Had that been an accident? We were walking close and maybe his hand had accidentally brushed mine. Before I could think too hard about it, his hand slipped over mine and his fingers threaded with my own.

We were holding hands. My heart was going haywire and the smile stretching across my face was impossible to control. I wanted to look at him but I was afraid to. Creed Sullivan was holding my hand.

He squeezed it then and I turned my head and had to tilt it back a little to look at him. Another difference this year was he was now four inches taller than me. He had gotten beautiful and tall. He met my gaze and grinned at me.

“What? Don’t look so surprised,” he said.

I raised my eyebrows but said nothing. He was holding my hand. Of course, I was surprised.

He shifted his eyes to his sister, who thankfully hadn’t looked back to see us holding hands. “She may be a brat, but she’s right. I’d do whatever you asked me to do.”