Sergeants Reyes and Carter sit on the couch across from Alex and me in the round living room. I have a death grip on Alex's hand which has not subsided, even though I've completed the horror story that is my relationship with John Sysco.
Sergeant Carter takes notes on his pad. Reyes stares at me, his features blank, but I swear I can see the wheels churn in his head. I just can't tell if he believes me or thinks I'm a scorned ex-girlfriend bent on revenge.
"Can I ask why you didn't report any of this earlier?" Carter asks without looking up, still writing furiously.
I clear my throat and force back the tears. "John threatened me. He said he would destroy me and ruin me in the legal community. He's well liked and well known and has influential friends. I believed him. I didn't want what happened to me to become front-page news. I figured if I ended our romantic relationship but remained professional with him, he would leave me alone." I shrug. "It worked for a while."
Carter lifts his head. "What changed?"
I look over at Alex. "I was promoted and assigned high profile cases ahead of him. I also started dating Alex, which seems to be what finally sent John into a tailspin."
Carter sighs, closes his notepad, and stands. "I think that should do it for right now. I'll file a report, and you'll need to sign it. We'll call you if we need anything else or if we find your vehicle."
Reyes remains seated and stares at me intently. "We'll need to get pictures of the scars on your back, Miss Tate."
Alex is on his feet in a flash. "Absolutely not."
Reyes doesn't flinch, slowly gets up, and takes a step toward Alex.
Carter moves in between the men. "Okay, let's everyone take a deep breath."
"Alex." I try to get his attention on me, and tug on his hand. "Alex."
He cuts his gaze over to mine.
"It's okay." I keep my tone soft and even and hope I can defuse the tension in the room. "I'm okay. It's what they need to build a case." I face Sergeant Reyes. "Do you have a camera with you?"
Reyes gives a quick nod to Carter, who retrieves the camera from the bag on the floor.
I extricate my hand from Alex's firm grip, step in front of him, and grasp his chin so that his eyes meet mine. "I'm okay. Just stay close to me."
Alex rests his forehead against mine and closes his eyes. We stand that way for a moment. I reach under my shirt and unhook my bra. I raise my top and expose my back. Alex places his hands on either side of my face, gazes deep inside me, and an impenetrable force field insulates me. Shields me from the humiliation of uncovering a part of me I have worked so hard to keep locked away.
The camera clicks and clicks and clicks.
"Jesus Christ," Carter mumbles.
Tears sit on the rim of my eyes and fall down my cheeks.
Alex mouths, It's okay, baby. I'm here, and swipes at my tears with his thumbs.
"We're done, ma'am." Sergeant Reyes's voice is quiet.
I let my shirt fall so that my back is covered again, pivot, and lean against Alex. His arms cross my chest, my very own sentinel standing guard.
Reyes glances at me but quickly diverts his gaze from mine. "We're very sorry to put you through that, but the pictures will aid in the investigation, and later in court."
"I know, Sergeant. I'm fine. Thank you."
I can hear Alex grinding his teeth behind me, and he breathes in deeply.
My overprotective Alex.
Jake appears at the door and shows the police officers out. Alex turns me, tightly wrapping his arms around me. I bury my face in his chest and breathe him in, his spicy, musky scent slowly burning through my chest like a good scotch.
"Alex?" My voice is muffled against his chest.
"Yes, baby?"
"Can you hook my bra, please?"
Alex chuckles, and moves his hands under my shirt.
I smile. I did it. I feel invincible, and I know it's due in large part to the man who is much better at unhooking bras than hooking them.
My hero, my protector.
My Alex.
Shouts pull me from deep sleep. I roll onto my side and try to focus as my head clears.
Alex is thrashing. His arm flies through the darkness and hits me hard in the face. Pain lances through my nose, straight between my eyes. I scramble away from him to block any further strikes. I switch on the lamp that sits on the bedside table. No blood, but the sting is making my eyes water.
Alex is on his back, writhing, clenching the sheets in his fists. "No, don't hurt her!"
Shit! A nightmare.
I move quickly onto my knees and try to wake him. "Alex!"
"No, don't leave me. Please, you can't die." He kicks at the air. "You killed her. You killed her."
I straddle his chest, my knees on top of his arms, pinning them down. I'm not sure how I'm able to do this, but he hasn't bucked me off yet. I need to get him to wake up before he flings me across the room. I grasp the sides of his face, and it takes all my strength to hold him still.
"Alex, wake up. Come on, baby, wake up."
Alex's eyes fly open, wide and wild. He's not fully awake. If he's confused, he could mistake me for an aggressor.
I lean over and just barely graze his lips. "Alex, baby, I'm here. You're okay."
He settles, his arms and legs slacken, and his body relaxes. He opens his eyes. I'm not sure he recognizes me, the way his eyebrows are drawn together so tightly. He blinks a few times, and his eyes widen. "Kylie?"
All the color drains from his face, and my heart constricts. I hate seeing him in such pain, and I have no idea how to help him. There's still so much he keeps to himself, and for whatever reason, he refuses to talk about it. It's frustrating as hell, but also heartbreaking. I wish I could convey how sharing the deepest darkest secrets with someone I trust, freed my soul.
I slide off of him as he sits up. "You were having a nightmare, babe." I caress his face. I wish I could crawl inside his head, see his dreams, his fears, and discover what haunts him, so I can make it all go away.
"Are you okay?" His hands travel over my body, his eyes inspecting me for injuries he might have inflicted. "Did I hurt you?"
"No, I'm fine." I lie, but there is no way I'm going to tell him he hit me in the throes of his nightmare. It would hurt him more than the actual hit, and I can't do that to him. "Alex, who died?"
A flicker of fear hits his eyes. "What did I say?"
"Just that someone was killed."
He stares at me, holds his breath before releasing an exhale.
He's shutting down. I can see it in the far off look in his eyes.
I place my hand in the center of his chest. "Alex, please talk to me."
"I don't remember, Kylie." He looks away from me. “I can’t remember the dream.”
I raise his chin, so our eyes meet. I need him to see me, hear me, and use my strength. "I'm here, Alex, and I'm not going anywhere. I can be that safe place for you. I want you to trust me. I promise I will try to help you, even if that means just listening."
He holds my gaze. He slides his hand to the back of my head, draws me forward, and his lips ravage mine. In one swift movement, he lifts my hips and lowers me to the bed. Our tongues tangle together, and his mouth pushes hard against mine. I savor the minty taste, a contrast to the heat of our kiss. He pushes deeper, but it's still not enough to satisfy me. I will never get enough of him and will always want more.
"Thank you, Kylie," Alex whispers in my ear.
I smile. This is what he needed to get past the nightmare. Some type of connection with another person. Someone to make the nightmares drift away. I remember those times, but I had no one to help me through them until recently. It hurts, though, that Alex isn't ready to talk about what haunts him. I can't take it personally. I know this in my head. But my heart seizes, and I can only hope he'll trust me soon.
I kiss his forehead. "Always, babe. I'll do anything for you. Always."
It doesn't take long before Alex is snoring softly and has slipped back into a deep sleep. I hold him. Although I don't have all the pieces to the puzzle, the picture is starting to take shape from the few bits of evidence I've been able to glean. Whatever he's keeping locked away involves abuse. And that abuse might've led to someone's death.
I have no idea who was abused or who died. And I pray the reason Alex is keeping this from me isn't because he was the abuser.