The sun is still bright but at my back as I stand on the top of the bluff, looking out over the calm water below. I've been gone for an hour, which I'm sure has Alex worried and perhaps sending Jake and Thomas out to look for me. I contemplate making my way back to the house and facing Alex, clearing this up once and for all, but I'm just not ready yet.
Glancing around the landscape, I spot a rugged path cut into the high grass that leads to the beach below. I navigate through the sand and rocks, concentrating on not falling down or rolling an ankle. Once I hit the beach, I jog and instantly feel the burn as my feet sink into the soft sand. I work my way down the beach about one hundred yards before dropping to my knees. My head falls to my chest as the tears come once again.
He intentionally wanted me to think he was with another woman. Why? Because I was working late? I thought he understood. I thought he accepted that my life would get crazy and unpredictable around a trial, especially one this big with so many implications. I thought I knew him. Could I have been that wrong? Or was I right all along, and this is just the first step in him pulling away from me forever?
I'm coming up with more questions than answers, and I decide the only way to move on is to confront the problem. Alex is going to have to do better than apologizing. I have to know why he did this and what will happen in the future. I will not give up my job, and this is the life of a defense attorney. If I'm going to have to deal with this every time I go to trial, our relationship will fall apart quickly, and I'll wind up resenting him. If this is just his way of pushing me out of his life, he needs to just do it. I can't handle the loss of him over a long period of time as little pieces of his affection disappear and are replaced with loathing.
My scalp prickles, and my stomach is queasy. Someone is watching me. I look around, halfway hoping I see Alex walking toward me. No one is there.
No one I can see, anyway.
Is John here?
Impossible. Alex’s estate is a fortress. There are very few ways to gain access to the property without being seen.
Wiping my face with my tank top, I head back up the path. My head is aching, and I'm light-headed.
Something moves across the path and startles me. My foot slips, and I stumble forward, falling to my knees. A white cat with a black patch over its eye hisses at me, and darts away.
"Shit." I stand and wipe the sand from my legs. My knee stings from a cut, and blood is trickling in a long line down my shin.
"Fabulous. Could this day get better, please?"
Cutting through the courtyard, I quietly open the glass doors into the family room and sigh in relief. The room is empty. I slip off my running shoes and carry them down the hall to the bedroom.
Slumping onto the bed, I breathe another sigh of relief that Alex isn’t in here either.
I just need a minute.
But luck is just not on my side. The bed shifts, he slides across and sits behind me. I remain still, not ready to face him yet. I need to ask questions, and I'm going to demand answers, but I can't do that if he is seizing my heart with his beautiful blue eyes.
"I don't understand, Alex. You were that upset because I was late to dinner? Why would you decide to make me think you were cheating on me, especially knowing my issues with trust? Why would you make me question everything I thought I knew about us?"
"It was stupid. I realize that, but the longer I sat there, waiting, the more I drank, the more pissed I became. I'm not trying to excuse the behavior. I'm trying to let you know where my head was at the time. I was feeling unimportant and neglected, and it was an immature reaction to what I perceived as you pulling away from me. I was being selfish. I probably still am.” His voice is laced with beseeching embarrassment, but there is no mistaking the emotion behind his words.
“This is all new to me, Kylie. I'm not used to people keeping me waiting. I'm learning, and I know I seriously overreacted and acted like a spoiled child. The amount of alcohol I consumed didn't help, either. But I'm begging you to forgive me. Just give me a chance to prove that everything you believed about me two days ago is the truth."
I close my eyes, still so uncertain of whether I can trust him. "What happens the next time I'm in a trial? This doesn't go away once this trial is over. It comes back with the next one I'm assigned. This is what I do and how I do it. I explained this to you. If you're going to freak out every time I go to trial, this will never work."
Alex places his hand on my shoulder. "I know. And I thought I understood what that meant. All I can say is that I really understand what it means now. I handled it completely wrong, and you have every right to question whether I will act the same in the future. I won't be perfect. I'll slip and fall. I will fuck up. All I can offer is that I will work on my insecurities, and I will never, ever give you a reason to question my feelings for you again. Please, just give me a chance to fix this."
I sigh heavily but don't answer. He slips off the bed and cautiously approaches me—until he sees the blood on my leg.
"Christ, Kylie, you're bleeding."
"It's just a little cut. I slipped. It's not a big deal, Alex."
But he's already headed into the bathroom, and I hear the water running while drawers and cabinets open and shut. Returning, he drops to his knees in front of me and uses a warm, wet towel to gently wipe away the blood and dirt, taking extreme care to make sure the cut is clean without causing me any further pain.
I watch him, and my heart unwittingly swells. A warm shiver runs through me at the touch of his hand on my leg. He looks at the cut and runs a thick layer of ointment on top of it before covering it with a large bandage.
This is the man I know—the man who is always there to take care of me and has been from almost the first day I met him. Who acts like a spoiled child. Who is completely overbearing and overprotective, and who frustrates the hell out of me. He's the man I'm falling in love with.
It hits me like a swift cyclonic wind, nearly knocking me over. I'm falling in love with Alex Stone.
He raises his gaze to meet mine. There is a mix of pleading and confusion in them, but what I see most is concern for me. His care for me reaches down into my soul and comforts me. I place my hand on the side of his face and gaze at him, lost in his eyes. I truly am his. The revelation hits me, and I feel relief.
I lean forward, my lips on his. The sensation warms me, calms me. Alex pulls me slightly to him. Neither of us is quick to break the bond we've established, preferring to linger in the kiss, allowing it to heal us both.
I pull back and rest my forehead against his, close my eyes, caress his cheek.
"Please tell me I haven't lost you, Kylie," Alex whispers.
"It nearly killed me, Alex, not knowing where you were."
"I'm sorry, so sorry. Please don't leave me, baby."
"I can't leave you, Alex," I whisper. "I'm yours."
Alex goes limp against me, and I feel all the tension in him release. He wraps his arms around me, pulling me tightly against him, and his face rests on my shoulder. We are leaning against each other, attempting to support each other, but all the strength I had is gone.
He pulls back, grasping the tops of my arms, concern filling his gaze. "Kylie, you're shaking."
I'm completely drained, almost to the point of being unable to speak. I shrug my shoulders and slightly shake my head.
He pulls my chin up and looks into my eyes as if the answer is hidden in them somewhere. "When did you eat last?"
"Lunch," I answer meekly. "Yesterday."
"Jesus, baby. We need to get some food in you before you pass out."
We walk down the hall toward the kitchen, arm-in-arm, and I'm thankful for the additional support. Between the lack of food, lack of sleep, alcohol, and physical exertion—topped with a huge dollop of stress—it's a wonder I can function at all.
As we reach the backside of the couch, Alex swoops me up and gently sets me onto the cushions. "Stay here. I'll make us something to eat, and then you're off to bed."
I rest my head on the back of the couch as Alex makes his way around the kitchen. He comes over and hands me a glass of orange juice and a sandwich. I look at him, puzzled.
"First course—peanut butter and jelly. You need some carbs and protein in you quickly. And I want you to drink all of that orange juice."
I smile broadly, take a bite of the sandwich, and realize just how hungry I am as well as how much my body needs the nourishment. I drink half the orange juice in one long draw, relishing the coldness as it courses through my body. I take a few more bites of the sandwich and finish the orange juice. Resting my head against the couch once more, I watch as Alex breaks eggs into a pan. My eyelids start to grow heavy, and I fight with them to stay open. Sleep wins out, and I finally succumb.
The sheets are cool against my skin, and Alex adjusts the pillow under my head. I look at him, confused.
"You fell asleep on the couch, baby. Get some rest," Alex explains.
He kisses my forehead and stands to leave, but I grab his hand.
"Stay with me. Hold me." I scoot over toward the middle of the bed to make room for Alex next to me.
Sliding in close behind me, he wraps his arms around me and nestles his head into my hair. "For as long as you need, baby, and a lifetime more."