Chapter 39

Left Out

“Prodigal, would you like to come over for coffee and cake?” asked Sheerah at the close of Sunday worship. Sheerah along with her daughter had been attending Unity Church every since Prodigal invited her soon after they first met.

“Sure, I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” was Prodigal’s quick response.

“You come too, Teary,” Sheerah told her.

“Thanks, but I’m tired. I think I’m going to go to the house and crash.”

Prodigal eased his arm around Teary’s shoulder. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure. And since I’m going home, why don’t I take the boys with me. That way you don’t have to rush home.”

“You’re something else, Teary. Look, tell you what. We’ll stop somewhere on the way home and I’ll pick up something for dinner. That way you don’t have to worry about fixing anything for the boys.”

“No that’s not necessary. I don’t mind fixing the boys something to eat,” Teary responded dryly but Prodigal didn’t notice.

“But, Teary…”

“But Teary nothing. I told you. There’s no need to stop anywhere. We have plenty of food at home.”

“If you insist,” Prodigal said then turned his gaze toward Sheerah. “I promise I won’t be long, Sheerah. I’ll see you in about half an hour.’

“Sounds good. Bye Teary.”

“Goodbye, Sheerah,” Teary answered without enthusiasm.

♦

Sitting on the couch next to Sheerah swallowing his last bite of pound cake, Prodigal asked, “How long have we known each other?”

“A couple of months, I guess,” was Sheerah’s response.

“Feels longer than that. I feel comfortable and secure around you.”

“I’m glad. You know how to make a girl feel special too.”

“I try.” He paused, twiddling his thumbs around. “There’s something I want to say to you.”

“What is it?”

“I like you. I like you a lot, Sheerah.”

“I like you too.”

“What I’m really trying to say is that you’re good for me and I think I’m good for you.”

“Prodigal, I don’t know what to say.”

“I don’t want you to say anything right now. I just want you to give us a chance, a real chance to make something lasting in this relationship. Just think about it, please.” He leaned over and kissed her. She eased her arms around his neck and returned his kiss.

♦

Teary liked Sheerah and she could tell that Prodigal had deep feelings for her. Why else would he spend so much time with her? Part of her was ecstatic for him and the other part, well, she didn’t know what she honestly felt about his new relationship.

She tried psychoanalyzing herself while she prepared dinner. Attractive, successful career, good salary, but look at me. I’m here at my best friend’s house with no potential mate in site, no one trying to even hit on me. What’s up with that? And look at Prodigal. He’s moving on with his life and I’m stuck on stupid in mine. The boiling water and milk spilled over the top of the pot and brought her back to the present.

Teary prepared the boys favorite meal of mac n’cheese, fried chicken and sweet peas. After eating their dinner they curled up in front of the television and watched Shrek on DVD. They must have watched Shrek parts 1 and 2 at least ten times during the time she had been in Bonsai Bay. They never seemed to tire of it. Ten minutes into the movie, Teary heard Prodigal coming inside. If Kevin and Kaleb heard their father, they didn’t show it. Their eyes were glued to the screen.

“Hi,” Prodigal said. He walked over and sat down in his recliner while Teary and the boys continued to cuddle up on the couch along with Rocco and the cats at their feet.

“Did you enjoy yourself today?” Teary questioned Prodigal.

“Sure. Sheerah and I talked, took a walk and basically just enjoyed one another’s company. Nothing serious.”

“I see.” Teary nodded. “That’s nice.”

Kevin recited his favorite lines in unison with the movie, followed by a constant tugging on Teary’s shirt.

“Daddy, tell Kevin to be quiet. I can’t hear the movie,” Kaleb cried out before Teary could field her next question to Prodigal.

“I’m not talking loud. I was just saying what Shrek said and telling Teary to fix us some popcorn. That’s all.”

Prodigal glared at the both of them with a stern eye. “Hey, cut it out you two. Don’t give me any trouble. If you want to finish watching Shrek, I suggest you stop arguing and be quiet. And Kevin, you don’t tell anyone to do anything. You ask.”

“Prodigal, chill out. I know what he means,” Teary butted in. “He wasn’t telling me in the sense you’re talking about. I was about to get up and fix something to snack on anyway. He was just trying to let me know that he wanted popcorn.”

“Uh hum,” Prodigal mumbled.

Teary always managed to find a way to take up for the boys. She couldn’t stand to see them get into trouble with their dad or anyone else. She stood up and went into the kitchen and fixed the popcorn, along with some strawberry kiwi Kool-aid. The boys loved it.

“You want some too?” Teary asked Prodigal.

“Yeah, I guess I’ll have a little.” He got up from the recliner, limped over to the sofa and sat down on the opposite end.

By the time the movie came to an end, Kevin and Kaleb had fallen fast asleep.

“I’ll take them to their rooms,” Teary whispered, standing up and stepping over Rocco and the felines.

“No, don’t bother. Let’s make them a pallet here on the floor and let them sleep. They don’t have school tomorrow because of the teachers’ conference, so they can sleep in late if they like. Plus they’ll think it’s a big thing when they wake up and find themselves in the family room in front of the TV.”

“Well, okay. I’m going to turn in myself after we make their pallets. I have a lot of packing to do before I leave Wednesday.”

“Is it that time already?” he asked her reluctantly.

“Yeah, it’s time for me to get back into the routine of work and paying bills. You know how that goes.”

“The boys are going to miss you, Teary. You know that, don’t you?” he asked sadly.

“Yeah, but they’ll be okay. They’re young and full of life. Plus, we’ll keep in touch. And they have Sheerah and Alexis now too. That’s good for them. Anyway, you all owe me a visit. Remember?” She didn’t want to come off sounding jealous of his relationship with Sheerah. She wanted to be happy for him, but something kept nagging at her and she didn’t know what it was.

“Yeah, but that won’t be until sometime in mid summer.”

“I know it, but you also know they’re super at using email. Remember when the only thing we had to look forward to was be a letter every now and then from an aunt or uncle?”

“Yep, but not today. These kids have it made. Well, come on. Let’s call it a night. I’m beat too.” They headed toward their rooms.

“Teary,” he spoke slowly.

“Yes,” she said, turning toward him and bumping into his chest. She didn’t realize he was so close up on behind her. She smelled the buttery popcorn on his breath. She found herself looking longingly into his eyes. “Yes?” she repeated.

“I just, well, I just want you to know,” he continued, trying not to look into her enticing eyes. “I want you to know that I appreciate all that you’ve done for the boys,” he stuttered. “I mean, being here and all, helping us out. Faith would be so grateful to you. You know you’ve sacrificed so much; put your life on hold for us. I can never thank you enough.”

He looked down at her slender body and felt his manly desire rising within. He hadn’t expected to feel this way. He and Teary were supposed to be like brothers and sisters, not lovers. But if that were true, why was he aroused? His eyes captured her chestnut brown skin, took in the fragrance of her body and he wanted her. For the first time since his wife’s death, he found himself becoming fully aroused. But why? Why did he have to get this way with Teary and not Sheerah?

Teary felt her own sense of heightened passion for this man who knew her so well. This man who accepted her for who she was. She looked at his broad chest and saw the fine black hairs peeking through his shirt. A fiery energy surged between them. Neither of them knew when their lips met, as they were taken away by the passion of the moment. Two lonely souls. They were two people who wanted to be loved and to love. Their fervor mounted. Prodigal pushed her hard against the wall. His taut, firm body pressed against her thighs. His desire for her was overpowering. He hungrily planted tiny, delicate traces of kisses over her face, her neck, her ears, and her hair. His hands traveled swiftly and urgently up and down her yielding body. The sound of desire escaped from her lips. Or were they coming from his?

She met his demands and held him tightly.

“Make love to me. Make love to me now,” Teary pleaded. Her body was already in a sweat and her heart throbbed from the need of his touch.

Abruptly, he yanked himself away. He looked at her with uncertainty and confusion in his eyes.

“No, I’m sorry. I can’t do this. We can’t do this. It’s not right. We shouldn’t be doing this. Look, I was planning on telling you earlier, “ Prodigal said, breathing heavily.

“Telling me what?” She looked flushed. Her heart still raced and her pulse beat fast.

“I’m going to ask Sheerah to marry me. I’m going to ask her to be my wife. So don’t you see? This is wrong. This whole thing between us is wrong, Teary. I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking and how I could ever let myself get out of control like this with you. You’ve been so good to me and the boys and I love you for it, Teary. I never want to hurt you. You know that. So, please forgive me.” He rushed off, slamming the door to his room behind him

He plopped down on the gingham recliner sitting in the corner of the oversized master bedroom.

My, Lord. What was I thinking? he thought. What just happened out there? I have to get a grip. I almost lost it. And why did I tell her I was going to ask Sheerah to marry me? Where did that lie surface from? God, I think I’ve hurt Teary, something I never wanted to do.

Teary rushed inside her room, slammed the door hard, and flung herself across the bed. How could this have happened? He wanted me. I could feel it, see it and sense it. I’m not that big of a fool. Or am I? Maybe it’s because I’m the one who wants him. Maybe he was fantasizing, thinking of Sheerah. Oh my God -- Sheerah. He’s in love with her. He wants to marry her.

Teary’s mind was in a blur. Her heart was pounding and her head was spinning. So much had happened in such a short span of time. Now things between her and Prodigal would never be the same. She finally had to admit to herself that she loved Prodigal Runsome. She couldn’t stand the thought of him being with another woman. She wanted to be the one he loved. She wanted to be the one he wanted to marry. But now all that had changed. It would never happen. She fell to her knees.

“God, here I am again,” she prayed. “Please hear me. I need your strength. I need to hear a word from you. I love Prodigal. I probably always have. But I don’t want to make any more mistakes when it comes to relationships, Lord. You know I’ve made enough. So help me to be strong. I need you to help me through this. She climbed in the bed and curled up against the down pillows and cried herself to sleep―again.

The morning after, Prodigal was awakened by the boys pounding up and down on his chest and screaming in his ear.

“Daddy, wake up!” they yelled loudly.

“We want to eat. Daddy, how did we get on the floor last night? Daddy, come on, get up.” As always, they were full of questions.

”Hey, you guys.” Prodigal said, his brain still fuzzy. “Give your old man a break. Slow down and hit me with one question at a time,” he said, grabbing one and then the other tickling them.

“Come on, Daddy! Go fix breakfast,” Kaleb said, pulling him by the hand.

“Oh, okay. If you insist. Let me get cleaned up and I’ll be there in a few minutes. You two run off and get your teeth brushed and your face washed. I’ll fix some of my special pecan pancakes.”

“Yeah, yeah,” they screamed in delight.

Prodigal thought back to the last night. He didn’t know how he could have allowed his emotions to spiral out of control like that. What was I thinking? How could I even think that Teary and I could share anything intimate? he thought. I must have been crazy and living in some sort of make-believe world. Things were different now. He had unanswered questions about his relationship with Sheerah and unresolved issues with Teary.

“God,” he cried out in the bathroom while shaving. “Please forgive me. I don’t know what came over me. I looked at Teary and she looked so beautiful, so sweet. I wanted her so bad. How could I betray you and how could I betray Faith with these lustful thoughts of mine?” Suddenly, the enemy planted thoughts in his mind. He reminded Prodigal of how soft Teary felt underneath his powerful hands. He reminded him of how good she tasted when he kissed her.

Don’t be a fool, the enemy consumed his thoughts. It was almost as if Prodigal could feel him standing beside him, his thoughts were so overpowering. Prodigal recognized that the things going on in his mind were definitely not from God, but he listened anyway. As quickly as he had appeared, the enemy vanished from his thoughts when the boys burst into the bathroom.

“Daddy, come on. You’re not through yet?” Kaleb asked quite impatiently. “I’m hungry.”

“Me, too,” Kevin chimed in. “Hurry up. If you don’t come on, Teary might try to fix the pancakes,” whispered Kevin real softly. “And Daddy?”

“What, son?”

“Teary’s pancakes just don’t taste as good as yours,” said Kevin.

“Yeah, Daddy, we like how she cooks, but you fix pancakes better. So hurry up before she starts on ‘em,” Kaleb insisted.

Prodigal looked at his sons and laughed. “Okay,” he whispered back. “I’ll be right there. And don’t worry. We won’t say a thing to Teary about it. I’ll just go in there and tell her to sit back and relax and let me do the cooking. So, come on, you two.”

Teary woke up to the smell of coffee percolating and bacon frying. She’d momentarily erased in her mind what happened the night before. She stumbled out of bed and walked slowly into the bathroom, still with the same clothes on from last night. She removed her sticky underwear and climbed into the steaming hot shower. How would she face Prodigal after what transpired last night?

What am I going to say? she pondered as the piping hot water streamed over her body. Shivers ran up and down her spine at the thought of last night’s encounter. I have to get a grip on this, she continued to tell herself. I can’t let him know just how hurt I really am. Maybe I’m just not attractive to him. Maybe he really does see me as only that little girl from across the street of a long time ago. Maybe he really does love Sheerah. Whatever it is he’s thinking, I can’t let him know that I’m hurt. She showered for a few minutes longer before climbing out of the shower to get dressed. She lotioned her body down until it was silky smooth. She stepped into a pair of pink khakis and a cotton pullover, bumped a few curls in her hair and proceeded out to the breakfast room. Muffled sounds of Kevin and Kaleb’s laughter spilled from the kitchen.

She walked into the kitchen, being careful not to look directly into Prodigal’s eyes.

“Good morning,” Prodigal said.

“Good morning,” she mumbled back at him.

“I want you to sit back and relax. I’m doing the cooking this morning.”

“No problem. I’m going to go outside and get the paper.”

“Sure.”

If the boys were a little older, they would have been able to detect the tension between them. Prodigal and Teary were obviously still amazed about last night. Prodigal didn’t think he could ever look at Teary the same way. He looked out the window while cooking, watching her going down the driveway, seeing her in a totally new light. He admitted to himself, I’ve always had the hots for her. But it went without saying, he loved Faith. Faith had been his lifeline, his all in all, his once in a lifetime love. Yet, he knew that there had been times during their marriage that he sometimes thought of how it might have been if he had married Teary instead. He was careful not to entertain the thought for long, but he admitted to himself that it happened.

He had no idea what Teary would do now. But he didn’t want her to leave, couldn’t let her leave. He had to make things right, or did he? Then again, maybe he should just leave well enough alone and try to make things work between him and Sheerah. They could be a real family. He knew it. Anyway, Teary deserved someone who would always be able to take care of her. He had plenty of money and all, but could he really fulfill all of her needs? He was confused, his mind was boggled. Teary strolled out to the end of the landscaped lawn and retrieved the paper. I’ve got to get myself together. Her body was still on fire from the passion that emanated between the two of them.

Each of their lives had taken a different road. Hers led down a pathway of mess-ups. She couldn’t seem to ever get things right or do things right, at least not for long. Was God punishing her for something? Had she been that awful? She didn’t know anymore. What she did know was that last night felt right. Last night felt good. She visualized the two of them going all the way. She felt his hands traveling to the secret places that would bring her to ecstasy. She felt his kisses, felt his passion and desire.

Oh, Prodigal, she heard a light moan escaping her lips even then. The tingle went from the top of her head to the bottom of her feet. She stood out in the warmth of the sunshine, allowing the tall oak trees to bathe her. She tilted her head up toward the sky.

She told herself, I should try to forget about everything. I don’t want to interfere with his happiness or the boys for that matter. He must love Sheerah if he’s going to ask her to marry him. The only thing left for her to do was leave. She couldn’t stay another day. She turned and ran back inside, being careful to plant a smile on her face in front of Kevin and Kaleb.

Everything was rather quiet at the breakfast table. Prodigal hurriedly ate his pancakes and drank his coffee. Kevin finally broke the silence between big bites of pancakes and bacon.

“Teary, are you still taking us to the picnic at church?”

She looked stunned. She had totally forgotten. “Boys, I’m sorry. But I won’t be able to take you,” she regretted to tell them. “I’m sure your daddy will take you. And remember Sheerah and Alexis will be there.” Prodigal stopped drinking his coffee and pulled the newspaper down from his face. “And remember what I told you guys? I have a home and a job that’s waiting on me. I have to go home. Don’t you think that Diamond and Sassy miss their home too? And surely you know that Rocco wants to go home. They have cat and dog friends they miss, you know.”

“But you promised to take us to the children’s day picnic,” Kaleb began screaming. “I don’t like you anymore. You broke your promise. You told Kevin and me that you loved us. I thought you loved us.” He ran out of the kitchen crying his heart out.

Now it was Kevin’s turn. “That’s right. You promised. You promised. Mommy,” he screamed. “I want my mommy.” He took off running too. The silence was so thick you could cut the air with it.

“Why are you doing this?” Prodigal asked. “I could understand if it was just me, and you decided to run. But it’s the boys too. They need you.”

“Oh, is that right?” she responded angrily. “I know they do. Tell me something I don’t know. Like, do you need me? Answer that. Tell me why you turned away from me last night? Tell me that, Prodigal? I can’t take it any longer. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to feel anymore. I have to leave.”

It was Teary who ran out this time leaving Prodigal alone at the breakfast table.

She dashed to her room, phoned the airlines and confirmed reservations for her and her pets to leave later that afternoon. At first she thought she should stay for the picnic, but doing that would only prolong the situation that much longer. And she didn’t want to face Sheerah either. The boys would hate her for walking out on them, but she believed in time they would come to understand and forgive her. After all, Prodigal obviously found in Sheerah someone he could freely love again and who in turn loved him and the twins. She had no right to be angry with him. She tried to convince herself that she should be ecstatic about him having someone special in his life.

Prodigal went into the study and closed the heavy oak door behind him. He looked at Faith’s portrait over the mantle of the fireplace. And he began to cry. “Faith. What do I do? I want to live again. I want to love again. I want to laugh again. I don’t know which direction I’m headed in. Everything is just so different without you.” His tears flowed hard and freely. He wept from deep within his spirit.

He didn’t know how long he had been crying when he began to think back to the night Faith died. He could see the beautiful aura around her. He saw the tender smile stretched softly and peacefully across her face. He could still feel the touch of her hand as she gingerly touched his lips, his eyes. He planted his head in his hands and stared at the picture of her sitting on his desk and pondered over the last words she had spoken to him.

“Prodigal,” she whispered faintly. “I’ll always love you. Take good care of the boys and yourself.” He remembered the tears streaming down his face as he listened carefully to his dying love. “I want you to go on with your life. I want you to love again and laugh again. Promise me you will, sweetheart.”

He heard himself tell his beloved Faith, “I promise.” He kissed her lips softly as the last breath escaped her body.

He realized at that moment God had allowed the memory of that night to resurface in his mind at this very moment in time for a reason. He couldn’t lose Teary. He couldn’t let her go. He loved her. He moved as swiftly as he could on his prosthesis toward her room. The knock on the door came softly.

“Teary,” he called. “May I come in?”

“I’m, I’m busy packing right now. My flight leaves in a few hours and I have a lot to get done,” was her answer.

“Teary, please. It’ll only take a few minutes.”

“No, I don’t think so. Not right now anyway,” she answered, her heart aching to let him in. “There’s really nothing more for the two of us to talk about. Will you just tell the twins I’ll be out a little later to tell them goodbye?”

“The Richards just came over and picked them up to carry them to the picnic.

She yanked open the door.

“You mean to tell me that you’re so angry at me that you would let the boys leave without telling me goodbye? You despise me that much? How dare you.” She slammed the door shut and hurriedly turned the lock.

“Wait. Listen to me, Teary. I would never do that to you. I just didn’t know what time you were leaving. I guess I just didn’t want to believe that you really were leaving. I can get the boys back home before you go. I promise I will. But please let me in. You have to listen to what I have to say. We have to talk. We can’t part like this. Teary, please.”

Still there was silence. Just as he turned to walk away, he heard the door open.

Before he could say a word, she lashed out.

“Look, last night was wrong,” she cried. The hurt was evident on her face, in her voice. “I know that. You know that. I’ve thought about it and you did right to pull away from me. I don’t know what I was thinking. I have no right to be angry with you at all. I want you and Sheerah to be happy. She’ll make you a good wife and she’ll be a good mother to Kevin and Kaleb. So let’s put what happened in the past and leave it there. And right now, I just want to finish my packing and have a chance to say goodbye to the boys before I go.”

“But, but, Teary,” he started. “I…”

“Please, don’t,” she sad, cutting him off. Let’s not mess this up any more than we already have. I think we should just try to say a civil goodbye to each other. I’ve already arranged for a taxi to pick me up. I’ll have it to run me by the church to tell the boys goodbye.” After saying that, she closed the door and her heart.

♦

“Prodigal, what’s going on?” Sheerah asked over the phone. “Teary just left here. She looked quite upset.”

“It’s a long story. One I don’t have time to explain.”

“The twins are in an uproar too.” Sheerah didn’t know what to think. “She said she was on her way to the airport. She mumbled something about having to get back to Memphis. I thought she wasn’t leaving until Sunday.”

“She wasn’t but something came up. We’ll talk later, Sheerah.”

“Do you need me to come along?”

“Thanks, but no. I’ll call you later.” He sped to the airport. When he arrived, he spotted Teary standing at the ticket counter.

Prodigal walked up and positioned himself beside her. She looked at him. The hurt he’d brought into her life remained visible on her face.

“Teary, don’t go. Don’t leave.” he pleaded.

“You now that I have to,” she said barely looking at him. Retrieving her boarding pass from the ticket agent, she swiftly turned away from him.

“Teary, listen. Don’t let things end like this.”

“Prodigal, things are ending exactly the way they need to end. For your sake and for mine. Now look, I have to go. Tell the boys I love them,” she said, fighting back the tears.

“Goodbye, Prodigal.” Teary began walking through the airport terminal in the direction of her boarding gate.

Prodigal hung his head down and his eyes filled with water. He stood in the middle of the terminal, people passing him on all sides. He stood until Teary disappeared from his realm of view. Not once did she look back.

Goodbye, Teary Fullalove, he said to himself. “Goodbye.”