IT RAINED SO LONG DUCHESS took to sitting by the window, on the box seat, sky watching, just like the old man. She noticed him watching her close, and watching the drive, like he was waiting on a visitor.
Robin got sick, a flu that saw him take to his bed for a week. Duchess brought him hot drinks and fussed, though it sat there between them, like a weight on her chest, a kind of divide she would break down absolutely.
On the third night his fever spiked, he cried out for their mother, up in bed, slick hair and wild eyes. He screamed and wrenched sounds from deep, a kind of pain she knew well herself. Hal was panicked, asking Duchess if he should call a doctor or an ambulance. She ignored him, wet a cloth and stripped Robin naked.
She sat with him all night, Hal by the door. Not speaking, just there.
The next morning it broke and he ate a little soup. Hal carried him down and settled him on the porch swing so he could watch the rain and breathe the mist.
“I like how it drums the lake,” Robin said.
“Yes.”
“I’m sorry. What I said before.”
She turned and knelt on the rough wood, her pants already torn at the knee from working her jobs. “You don’t ever need to say that to me.”
Hal had a VCR. They watched Rita Hayworth one lazy Sunday. Duchess did not know a woman could be so exquisite. And then, in the attic, she discovered a bag full of Westerns, sat beside the old man and watched them through the night till Robin was all better. For a day she lost her name and chased a band of Mexicans through sapping wheat, Hal watching on from the porch, shaking his head like he’d taken in a loon. She called him Tuco and told him he was the ugly and she was the bad. The good clapped his hands, his curls rain plastered, his yellow mac dripping wet.
On days she practiced, she marched a hundred yards back, hit the tree bang center and called herself Sundance.
The first time she rode the gray she felt as close to Butch as she ever had. Close to her blood, a little less foreign, a root taking hold in Montana earth. She lay a hand on the gray and felt the heat from her, patted gently and told the horse she wouldn’t ever kick her and, in return, maybe she could agree not to throw a cowgirl to the dirt. She gripped the horn tight and shook rain from her hair as Hal led her around the paddock, just a gentle trot that left her fighting the widest smile when she was done.
Another week and she watched the endless carbon sky begin to crack and the rain ease, the blue edge its way in and sunlight bless the ground for the first time in a month.
As she looked out across the land she saw Hal by the harrow and Robin by the coop, both of them turning skyward and smiling.
Hal raised a hand, Robin too. And then, slowly, with great effort, Duchess raised her own to them both. In math she learned the triangle was the strongest shape.
There was a gradualism to Montana days, fall sweeping them along with leaves a thousand kinds of brown.
One Saturday Hal drove them to Glacier. They hiked to Running Eagle Falls, the aspens catching the light and stopping her breath. They walked on a carpet of leaves, some so big they came to Robin’s shoulder when he drew them up. He tried to collect them, got so many he could barely see over. Hal brought them to a clearing and they watched the stark yellow cottonwoods wave like fool’s gold.
“Beautiful,” Hal said.
“Beautiful,” Robin echoed.
Duchess just stared. Some days, mean and tough was hard to locate.
They stopped at rocks, water cascading loud. They stood beside a family of four, so symmetrical Duchess looked away from the mother and father like they’d committed a modern-day sin. She reasoned they’d divorce soon enough, harden their little angels till all that was left was slammed doors and angry tears. She did smile at that.
Duchess still wore her dress each Sunday to Canyon View Baptist. Each time Hal still frowned and the other kids still stared, but the old people, the couples that stopped and bowed, widowed ladies that carried themselves with earned decency, they all took to her. None more so than Dolly, who sought her out most weekends and sat beside her.
Fall shadows, the candles and lanterns needed. Robin sat across with three other kids, brothers all older but they let him trail them. Their mother hushed them now and then. Robin watched them in quiet awe, bigger boys, there was nothing that compared.
“He will come.”
“Who?” Hal said.
“Darke. You should know that he will come.”
“He won’t.”
“I’m Josey Wales and he’s a Union soldier. The bounty is my blood. He will come.”
“You still haven’t told me why you think he’s coming.”
“He thinks I wronged him.”
“Did you?”
“Yes.”
The old priest called communion and she watched the line form, so hungry for purgation they’d share cheap wine and spit.
“You want to go up?” Hal said, same every week.
“Do I want to contract herpes, Hal?”
He looked away and Duchess took that as a small victory. Robin lined up with the bigger boys. He wore an old Mississippi necktie they found in the attic and a panama hat at least seven sizes too big.
As they passed Robin turned to them. “John, Ralph and Danny are going up to take communion. I want to stay with them but I don’t want to contract herpes.”
Hal frowned at Duchess.
They stayed for cake. Duchess ate a slice of chocolate and a slice of lemon, made eyes at a slice of pear and date but an old lady took it before she committed. She had gained a little weight, enough to edge off the severity.
When they arrived back at the farmhouse Duchess saw the bicycle, old and shitty, laying in the dirt by the porch.
“It’s Thomas Noble,” Robin said, his face at the glass.
Thomas Noble stood at the bottom step, bad hand tucked into the pocket of green corduroys. He wore a smart green shirt and green jacket.
“Jesus. He looks like a fucking booger.”
They climbed from the car.
Duchess stood, hand on hip and scowling. “What are you doing here, Thomas Noble?”
He swallowed, looked at her dress then swallowed again.
“I hope you’re not checking me out. Hal will shoot you. Right, Hal?”
“Yes,” Hal said. Then he ushered Robin into the house, made a promise to let him drive the riding mower after he changed out of his church clothes.
“I … the math paper. I needed someone to—”
“Don’t even try that bullshit.”
“I just thought maybe we could hang out. Being as I live just over there.” He pointed with his good hand.
“I know Radley land, there’s no neighbor close. How long did you ride?”
Thomas Noble scratched his head. “Four miles. Maybe. Mom said I could do with the exercise.”
“You’re skinny to the point of malnourishment. She’d do better advising a change of diet.”
He smiled a simple smile.
“I’m not fixing you any lunch or even a drink. This isn’t the 1950s.”
“I know.”
“Well, I’m going to pull the weeds by the water. Work doesn’t stop just because you don’t have the good sense to call ahead.”
She went into the house, changed into her old jeans and shirt then found him still there, standing dumb and looking down at his sneakers.
“I suppose you can make yourself useful and help me.”
“Yes,” he said quick.
He trailed her down to the lake edge, knelt beside and pulled weeds she pointed at. She took a cigar from her pocket, stolen from Hal’s dresser.
“You can’t smoke that. You’ll catch the cancer.”
She flipped him off, then bit the top off the cigar and spit it into the dirt. “Jesse John Raymond held a smoke in his mouth when he slaughtered the coward Pat Buchanan.” She gripped the cigar in her teeth. “You got a light?”
“Do I look like the kind of boy that has a light?”
“Fair point. I could just chew it, like Billy Ross Clanton.”
“I think that’s a different type of tobacco.”
“You know nothing, Thomas Noble.” Duchess bit a large chunk off the cigar, chewed and tried mightily not to vomit.
Thomas Noble cleared his throat, then squinted up at her. “So … the reason I came. There’s this dance approaching us. The winter formal.”
“I hope you’re not working up the courage to ask me. Now of all times. When I’ve got a mouth full of tobacco.”
He shook his head quickly, then went back to the task.
“You should know that I don’t intend to marry. And I especially wouldn’t marry you … with the hand.”
“It’s not hereditary. I was an anomaly. Doctor Ramirez—”
“I’m an outlaw. I’m not going to take the word of a Mexican.”
He worked on in silence, then stopped to squint up at her again. “I’ll do your math homework for a month.”
“Alright.”
“Alright yes?”
“No. I still wouldn’t go with you. But I’ll permit you to do my math.”
“Is it because I’m black?”
“No, it’s because you’re a weakling asshole. I’m looking for bravery in a man.”
“But—”
“I’m a fucking outlaw. When you will realize that? I don’t dress up nice and date boys. I’ve got bigger things on.”
“Like what?”
“There’s a man after me,” she said, and he watched her carefully. “A man named Dickie Darke and he drives a black Escalade and he wants to kill me. So, you want to do something useful, you’ll keep an eye out for him.”
“Why does he want to kill you?”
“He thinks I wronged him.”
“Tell the cops. Or your grandfather.”
“I can’t tell anyone. If they find out what I did I’ll get in shit. They might take me away from Robin.”
“I’ll look out.”
“You ever done anything brave in your whole life?”
Another head scratch. “The tire-swing by Cally Creek.”
“That’s not brave.”
“You try it with one hand.”
She almost smiled.
“My mother birthed me without pain relief. Bravery is passed down, right?”
“Shit, Thomas Noble. You must’ve weighed a couple ounces when you were born. Probably shot out when she sneezed.”
He went back to pulling, squinting the whole time.
“Where are your glasses?”
“I don’t even need them.”
“You’re pulling the fucking bluebells. I happen to like bluebells.”
He gingerly lay the bluebell carcass back on the bank. “It’s not always easy to be brave, you know. I’m not like you. You see the kids laughing at me. They’re in a group, a head taller, bigger, they’ve got muscles.”
“It’s not about how big you are. It’s the way you sell it.”
He thought on that. “So I act like I can fight?”
“And then you don’t have to.”
“This man looking for you. Will it work on him?”
“No. You see him and you tell me right away.”
“Alright. But maybe you should be more worried about that kid you threatened. Tyler. He has an older brother and he’s looking for you.”
She waved a hand. “Fuck him and his family. Now pull that big weed and then be on your way. It’ll be dark by the time you make it home. And you can ill afford to get hit by a truck and lose use of another limb.”
He stood with reluctance.
She watched him walk, pick up his bicycle and set off toward the gate. She waited till he was out of sight before she spit out a mouthful of tobacco, shuddered, and scraped her tongue with her fingers.