River
I remained unmoving in the seat beside Kobal, my head bent as I watched the asphalt flash by through the hole beneath my feet. Air rushed in from the missing door, a door I’d learned Kobal had wrenched from its hinges the minute he’d discovered I was gone.
My hand fell on his thickly muscled thigh. His eyes slid to me; the lines of his face were severe and unyielding. I sensed his lingering displeasure with me, but I still wasn’t entirely thrilled with him either.
“You wouldn’t listen to me,” I said quietly.
“There was a reason for that.”
“They’re alive because of us.”
His teeth scraped together as his hands tightened on the wheel. “I can’t talk about this. You disobeyed me—”
“I’m not yours to command!” I cut in. “I am your Chosen. I have allowed you to mark me, to share my bed, to be a part of my life, the biggest part of it, but I have not allowed you to become my dictator. You are in command of the demons and the humans, but not of me. I never agreed to that.”
“As my Chosen you are mine.”
“And you are mine, but I would never order you about, throw you over my shoulder and command you to stay like a dog.”
His mouth quirked in amusement. “I don’t think you could throw me over your shoulder.”
Sparks danced across my fingers when they dug into his thigh. I glowered at him as I tried to control my temper. It never worked out well when we bashed heads with each other, but still I was tempted to smack his head off the driver’s side window.
I took a minute to steady myself before I spoke again. “I understand we’re from different worlds. You are a leader, a fighter, and used to being obeyed, but you have to talk to me. No matter what this is between us, it will never work out if you continue to order me around like that instead of talking with me.”
His body became as still as stone when I uttered the words “it will never work out.” Those words tore at my heart and shredded my insides too, but they were true.
“I know you love me,” I whispered.
“Too much,” he grated.
“And I love you, but you cannot treat me like that.”
His hand fell to mine. “I won’t let anything ruin what you are.”
I opened my mouth to respond but closed it again. I had no words for that. “Please don’t do that to me again,” I finally said.
“I will try and speak with you. It will be difficult, but I will try.” I smiled and kissed his cheek. That was more than I’d expected from him. “But you must listen to me. I know this world and these creatures. I never wanted you exposed to those things.”
“Because of what passed between you and Lilitu?”
His upper lip curled in disgust. “She never should have said those things in front of you, but not because of that, though I wish you hadn’t heard it. I can’t keep you from all of it, but I want to shelter you from as much of the hideousness of my world as I can. You’ve already seen far more than most humans, been expected to deal with far worse, and have a heavy burden on your shoulders. I will do everything I can to make it at least a little easier on you.”
“Kobal,” I breathed, my heart melting at his words. I couldn’t possibly stay upset with him when he said things like that.
“But you have to promise me, if I am commanding you and you don’t like what I’m saying, you will not take off again. You can hit me with a ball of fire—”
“My fire has no effect on you.”
“You can knock me on my ass with one of your energy balls—”
“I just killed someone with it. I would never use it on you.”
“Lilitu didn’t see it coming and she had no idea what you are capable of. Next time, hit me with something, I will be prepared for you, but don’t ever take off like that again.” Squeezing my hand, he lifted it and rested it over his heart. “When I discovered you gone,”—his eyes were black pools of emotion when they met mine—“I’d never been more terrified in my life.”
My breath caught in the face of his vulnerability. Kobal was many things, but vulnerable and open were not among them.
“Do not do it again, Mah Kush-la.”
“I’ll never do it again and I’ll zap you first,” I vowed.
“Good.”
“You know, before I met you, I was always rational and didn’t have a temper, or at least not one that I showed very often.”
His eyebrow quirked. “I doubt that.”
“It’s true,” I replied. “I had to take care of my brothers. I had to make sure they were fed and protect them the best I could from our mother. The few times I got mad enough that I fought with my mother, she threw me out of the house.”
A vein in his forehead throbbed to life. “Where did you go when she did such a thing?”
“I would stay with my friend, Lisa, and her parents.”
“Did you like living with them?”
“I did,” I admitted. “Lisa’s mom would cook us breakfast every morning. Her dad always played games with us, and there were family dinners every night. I would catch fish for them, not because I had to, but because I wanted to. They considered me a part of their family and treated me like it.”
“Then why did you leave their home?”
“Gage would be a big enough pain in the ass that my mother would finally agree to allow me back home, and I would return for my brothers. I think Lisa’s parents would have taken Gage and Bailey in too if they could have, but my mother never would have allowed such a thing.”
“Why not?”
I stared at the road whizzing by beneath my feet again as I thought over his question. “Because she would have had no one to feed her and do her bidding without us. She would have had no one to abuse, and she so enjoyed her abuse. It was the only thing she ever found any real pleasure in. The only reason I agreed to leave my brothers behind when Mac came for me was because I knew they would be going to live with Lisa. I would have fought Mac to the death otherwise.”
His hands twisted on the steering wheel as his knuckles turned white. His head turned slowly away from me, but I could feel the tension thrumming through his body. “Did your mother hit you?”
“Her words were her biggest weapon.”
“Did she hit you?” he bit out.
I didn’t shy away from the golden embers burning in his eyes when he looked at me again. If my mother had been standing before him now, he would have gutted her without blinking an eye.
“I couldn’t react to her,” I said instead of answering his question. I’d prefer not to recall those few times when I’d been certain she would finally do what I felt she’d always wanted to do, and kill me. “I had to remain as calm as possible around her. She took my brothers from me when I did react to her, but with you, I can’t control my emotions sometimes. You make me react before thinking.”
“I make you lose all control.”
I nestled against his side. “Yes.”
He rested his fingers against my face and brushed back strands of my hair. “Why do you think that is?”
“I’m not sure. I’m comfortable around you, I know that no matter what I do…” My voice trailed off, I sat up as I tried to puzzle the rest out. “You get angry with me, you try to order me around, but you’d never purposely hurt me. No matter what I say or do, you won’t turn from me; you won’t try to punish and inflict pain on me. I pushed you away and you still gave me my brothers.”
“I’d give you the world, Mah Kush-la, if I could. And if I ever meet your mother, she’ll know pain.”
My breath hitched in at his words. “Kobal—”
“There is nothing you could do to stop me from loving you, that is why you fight me and disobey me.”
“Or maybe I disobey because I’m not meant to obey,” I replied.
A small smile curved his mouth. “No, you most certainly aren’t.”
I settled against him again, taking comfort in the warmth of his body. “No matter how much you infuriate me, there’s nothing you could do to stop me from loving you either,” I whispered.
He rested his hand on my shoulder and drew me closer against him. I glanced at the closed window separating us from those sitting in the bed of the truck. “Do you think it would be better if we told all the humans what I am?” I asked. “It may help to calm them if they had an idea of what and who they are fighting for.”
His smile faded away. “No. There is no way to know how they would react to the knowledge and we can’t take the risk they’d do something foolish. If it was only the ones with us now, perhaps it would be best, but there will be other humans joining us at the gateway and rumors will spread.”
“Being kept in the dark is often more frightening than being informed.”
“And sometimes ignorance is bliss. Many might not like that they are fighting with and for Lucifer’s daughter—”
“Descendent.”
“You don’t even like it. Are you willing to take the chance at least one of them won’t try something reckless with the knowledge?”
“I don’t know, maybe,” I murmured.
“It won’t be today, so let’s discuss this at another time.”
There were some battles I was more than willing to let go, for now. I tried not to drift off but the sound of the tires on the road and the warmth of him enfolded me in a warm cocoon. Eventually, exhaustion drug me into its unrelenting depths.
The sun was in the middle of the sky when the truck pulled to the side of the road. I stirred, pressing closer to Kobal when his arm slid around my waist and he kissed my temple. “It’s time for a food break,” he murmured.
I reluctantly pulled away from him, but the pressure in my bladder and the rumble in my stomach had me sliding out the missing door. I made my way to the woods before returning to wash my hands with water and accepting my ration of beef jerky and a can of beans.
“How much further is it?” I asked Kobal when we walked over to sit by the truck.
“A day at the most, maybe less,” he replied.
I gulped down my cold spoonful of beans. “Almost there,” I muttered.
His hand rested against my arm. It seemed he simply needed to touch me as his fingers caressed my skin before he stepped away. I climbed into the back of the truck to join the others and sat on the metal siding.
Across the way from me, Hawk was propped up against the side. His skin was still ashen, and the white bandage covering his chest had a maroon stain on it, but at least he was awake again. Thankfully, he hadn’t required a blood transfusion. Erin handed him a can of beans and a package of jerky.
“How are you feeling?” I asked him.
“Like claws raked my ribcage and half a pint low, but I’m alive, thanks to all of you.”
“Don’t thank me,” Kobal replied. “I’d planned to leave you.”
Erin lifted an eyebrow at his statement but didn’t comment. Hawk gave a brief nod. “I would have done the same.”
Kobal shot me a pointed look I chose to ignore. “That wasn’t an option,” I replied.
Hawk surveyed me as he ate his beans. Erin gave me a grateful smile and a small thumb’s up Kobal didn’t see.
“I don’t like that you went with her,” Kobal growled at Vargas.
“Leave him be,” I said, lowering my can of beans in case I had to leap forward to defend Vargas.
Vargas blanched under Kobal’s unrelenting stare, but he stood his ground. “You told us she was the mission. I stayed with her.”
Kobal scowled at him, but he didn’t say anything more. I scraped the bottom of my can with my spoon, savoring every last bit of it before shoving it into the trash bag.
“It’s time to move on,” Kobal said and stepped away from the truck.
My shoulders slumped. I would have given anything to have one day to sit beneath the sun and soak up its rays. To savor the simple joys of life before possibly having it taken away from me.
That wasn’t to be though. I took hold of Kobal’s hand and allowed him to help me from the truck.
***
River
It was night when we stopped again. The stars were beginning to brighten the endless sky as the red moon hung on the horizon. “Blood moon,” I murmured.
Kobal remained mute beside me, sitting rigidly in his seat. The tension in him had been growing steadily throughout the day as we drove closer and closer to our destination. When he turned to me, his hand snaked out to wrap around my neck. His thumb brushing over his marks caused me to shiver.
His head bent as his lips slanted over mine in a kiss that made my muscles go weak and my pulse quicken. Opening my mouth to his, I melted against him when his tongue swept in to taste the recesses of my mouth. He thrust deeply within me, demanding and voracious as my tongue eagerly entwined with his.
Pulling away, he broke the kiss and rested his forehead against mine. “I’d give anything to take you from here,” he rasped.
“I know.”
He didn’t release me but pulled me with him when he climbed out of the truck. He placed me down once we were free and gathered our supplies from the back of the truck. I waited nearby, my body desperately seeking to connect with his.
I had no idea what tomorrow held for us, but I suspected we would be arriving at the gate.