“How did it go?” Gemma handed Jane a cup of tea as soon as she stepped into the apartment.
“Pretty well. I think I have some idea of where to start, at least.” Jane settled into the corner of the sofa. She set her teacup on the coffee table and rested a notebook on her knee.
“Isaac called while you were out.”
Jane closed her eyes and counted to ten.
“I’m worried about you, Jane. You don’t seem to be grieving this loss at all, even though he was a big part of your life.”
Jane rocked her head back and forth, trying to loosen her tense shoulders. “I should be crying more. I’m sure I should, but it’s not happening.”
“That’s what I was thinking. When Nick and I broke up, I cried for weeks.”
“But you found out he cheated on you, right? I mean, he had to marry the girl. I think I would cry for weeks if I had found out that Isaac had done that.” Jane exchanged her notepad for her teacup. “But I dumped Isaac. Maybe girls don’t cry when they end the relationship.”
“I don’t know…”
“Maybe I didn’t really love him.” Jane sipped her tea. “I know we dated a long time by some standards, but he’s been gone for almost six months straight. In Robin Hood, Lady Cluck said, ‘Absence makes the heart grow fonder,’ but it didn’t.”
“You’re quoting a cartoon chicken?”
Jane shrugged. “Why not, if she’s right? I was really infatuated with Isaac…but I’m afraid I didn’t really love him.”
“But wasn’t it love at first sight?” Gemma sat down at Jane’s feet.
Jane pictured Isaac the first day she met him at school. Tall, adorable, smart. “Infatuation at first sight, anyway.”
“But you were star-crossed, doesn’t that count for anything?”
“We were Bible-school-administration-crossed. It’s not exactly the same thing.” All of a sudden, Jane’s heart hurt. It was like a sharp pang, like someone squeezed it tight. Isaac was so smart, and funny, and handsome, and nice. Her eyes stung with tears. She rested her chin on her knees and tried not to cry.
“Tell me again why you dumped him, because I just don’t get it.”
Jane wiped her eyes. She pictured them on the hood of his car watching the city of Portland sparkle in the distance. “He…he didn’t respect me.”
“Are you sure? Because I thought he really, really loved you.”
“No. I don’t think he did. He didn’t—” A sob broke out despite her best effort to stifle it. “He didn’t…” She took a deep breath. “I’m sorry.” She laid her head on her folded arms and cried. The tears were hot and salty and felt as good rolling down her face as the pain in her heart felt awful.
“Don’t be sorry. I think you are finally starting to deal with your loss.”
She wiped her eyes. “He treated me like I was an accessory. A thing to make his life complete instead of a person who had her own call from God.”
“The missionary thing?”
“Umm hmm.” Jane dabbed her nose with a paper napkin.
“Please don’t be mad at me, but you dumped him because he didn’t respect your call to missions…and yet you aren’t, like, trying to be a missionary.”
“I can’t explain it, Gemma, which is probably part of why Isaac couldn’t respect it. I know in my heart God wants to use me overseas, but the only directions I have right now are to ‘wait.’ God didn’t say, ‘Go to Montreal with Isaac.’” Jane tried to sip her tea, but it burned the tip of her tongue.
“What did God say about Montreal?”
“He was kind of silent about it. Like I was supposed to use the brains he gave me to make that decision. And listening to the way Isaac talked about his work and my call and stuff…I don’t think that I could follow God’s best plan for me and marry Isaac. I wanted to, though. I really, really wanted to.” Jane squeezed her eyes shut.
Gemma leaned her head against Jane’s knee. “I know you did.” Her voice was a quiet hush.
By midnight Jane had a flow chart of case notes that was four pages long.
Michelle’s backstory inspired any number of questions that needed answers, as did her Google search.
The internet news seemed to love a Christmas charity killing. The protesters were a particularly popular feature online. A heated discussion had risen up on an anti-gun forum. Since the weapon of choice this time had been a knife, the pro-gun people had flooded the site. The initial posts were mostly neener-neener pro-gun posts, but it eventually evolved into a deep discussion of the facts of the case, most of which were new to Jane.
One poster, who went by “Bang-Bang Bambi’s Dead,” caught Jane’s eye right away. From Bang-Bang’s posts Jane learned that the HLP protesters had been targeting local dairies for the last twelve months. Jane couldn’t recall seeing any of that in the news, but it didn’t surprise her. Known for their nonviolent protests against food they deemed unhealthy, which usually included animal products and anything highly processed, the Human Liberation Party had taken a stand against pasteurization.
Against pasteurization?
Jane googled that as well. Pasteurization killed germs that killed people, but pasteurization also killed bacteria that promoted healthful digestion. If she had to pick a side, offhand and just from what she saw at a glance, she would have to go pro-pasteurization. But then, she drew a picture of a barn next to her notes…on the whole, she didn’t trust people enough to buy raw milk and cream from just anyone. And at the same time, she’d seen enough exposé news about how animals get treated in huge farm corporations that she didn’t think mechanization made things better.
Not that she trusted the news much either.
She scratched out her barn picture.
Mistrust was a handier quality for a detective than for a missionary. So, she’d have to use it now, but work on improving her ability to trust people in the future.
Did she trust Bang-Bang’s posts? That was a good question, since Bang-Bang was also the only person in the conversation who mentioned that Michelle White had been an active member of the HLP from 2004 to 2010.
If she did trust Bang-Bang’s info, it would mean Michelle’s killer might have been targeting the Helpers.
Jane stretched to pop her back. She didn’t like where this train of thought was leading.
Who at a charity fundraiser had the most to lose from the protesters?
Helping Hands Early Education Center, represented by her cousin.
Yo-Heaven, represented by Jake.
The dairy industry…
The guest list, if she could ever prize it from her cousin and Jake, could help her find out if anyone at the party had links to the local dairies.
And anyone else HLP had targeted for protest recently. Which included Jake.
She crossed Jake off the list anyway. He was clearly big into God now, and that alone made him not a killer. But also, the “Fro-Yo Murder” wasn’t the kind of advertising a business owner wanted at the holidays. There was no way that the killing could help him.
She crossed Gemma off the list too because obviously her cousin didn’t kill the guest.