Isabelle stood next to me while we watched Lady Helen enter the tent and then flee back out of it shouting for help. Duncan cradled my limp body in his arms and rocked me back and forth. He was clearly at a loss of what to do.
Rosalie rushed into the tent with Lady Helen close at her heels. She inspected my eyes and my breathing and announced I was still alive, but just barely. She rambled in outraged Spanish and Isabelle translated it to me. Apparently she was repremanding my almost dead body for being foolish enough to donate blood when the miscarriage took more than it should to begin with. She claimed I had barely enough blood flowing in my veins to support me after such an ordeal, let alone revive a vampire. I’m pretty sure she called me stupid, although Isabelle woundn’t own up to it if she did.
I listened while they debated what to do. I was so close to death that if Duncan revived me with his blood they ran the risk of my turning vampire. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. Did I want to spend eternity as a vampire? Was I ready for such a change? I was to marry Duncan, but I’d had it in my head to use a spell to elongate my life, rather than turn vampire. Turning vampire was my last resort, and only if Duncan lost to Rufus. Relief flooded over me when I heard them decide to watch me for a while to see if my body would rebuild my blood supply on its own.
I stayed out of my body for the majority of the time that I lay healing. Duncan never left my side. This was one of the major reasons I remained out of my body. When I was in body, I could hear and see nothing. All I knew was an eerie dark silence. I needed to be out of body in order to be aware of and hear what was going on around me and being said to me.
Duncan looked wonderful. He’d healed completely from the battle with Rufus and my blood had given him Rufus’ same healthy, ruddy glow. There was such a major difference in appearance from when he drank animal blood, I wondered if the way he felt was that much different as well.
I listened to Duncan share with me stories of his childhood, stories of his struggle to adapt to being vampire, and finally about how he’d regained a love for living when I came into his life. If I’d had any doubts about the depth of his love, they were dispelled during that time.
My heart went out to him. His pain over the possible loss of me was acute. I watched him stroke my face with his strong fingers and felt all fuzzy inside. I loved him. I loved him deeply. I couldn’t bear to see him suffer like he was.
It was at that time that I realized the one thing that would make Duncan truly happy wasn’t being mortal again. It was not losing the ones he loved. He’d refrained from falling in love with people over the years, only allowing himself a few choice relationships such as the one he had with Isabelle -who’d managed to keep herself alive for centuries. Being close to a mortal was a heartache waiting to happen. I finally got it.
Once again, my heart sank when I thought of what occurred as a result of my actions. I looked at my dear friend Isabelle standing so near me, yet maintaining the silence I required from her. Even in death she was wise and kind.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered.
“You need not whisper. He cannot hear,” she replied, never taking her moist eyes off Duncan.
“You. I’m so sorry for what I did to you,” I continued.
“You did nothing to me, my dear. It was just my time,” she sighed.
“I don’t agree,” I persisted, “If I’d stayed in the future, then none of this would have happened and you’d still be alive.”
“And you?” she turned to look at me, “Would you still be alive?”
I hesitated, “I… I… of course.”
She smiled and said nothing for the longest time.
When the silence was finally broken, she placed her hand on my arm, “In this realm we have the ability to see things that may or will come to be. Follow me now.”
I hesitated. I didn’t want to leave Duncan and go anywhere, but she persisted, so I finally gave in.
It was an interesting journey at her side. We were walking, yet the world seemed to be flying past us at record speed. When it finally slowed down we were standing in my little studio apartment. Duncan, Doug, Linda, and Chuck were also there. Linda and Doug were crying.
I looked at Isabelle quizzically. She took my hand and once again the world swooshed past us until we stood at the entrance of Moore’s Funeral Home. I’d barely had time to register where we were before she pulled me along through the door and down to the preparation room where I saw my still, lifeless body all stretched out with tubes coming and going in my groin and neck. I was clearly dead.
The undertaker was on the phone conversing with someone saying, “I managed to clean her up enough to be suitable for display. Yes, it’s tragic. Hit and run victims can be so broken up, it’s impossible to make them look good,” he smiled as he looked over at my lifeless body, “I’m pretty proud of my accomplishments with this one.”
“I’m dead!” I screeched.
“Yes,” Isabelle replied.
“When? How?” I continued.
“I discovered a book of records. This book contains all that ever was and all that will be. It isn’t what might be. It is what will be.” She looked me straight in the eye, “You are supposed to die at the age of twenty-three. It is written in your life plan.”
“But… so young,” I muttered.
“Yes,” she agreed.
I looked at my body closer and could see it had been broken up in multiple places.
“How does it happen?” I wasn’t sure I really wanted to know, but I was unable to resist asking.
“Struck by a bus while crossing the street,” she said flatly.
“Are you kidding me?” I screeched. “Struck by a bus? How cliché was that?”
“You felt nothing. Death is quite painless when it happens.” She spread her arms wide and tilted her head back, “It can be a marvelous release.”
“Duncan,” I mused.
“Yes, Duncan will suffer deeply when you die. Whether it is by the bus or another time, he will suffer,” she said.
“It’s heartbreaking,” I cried.
“Yes,” she agreed.
I wasn’t sure what to do, but I knew I had to do something. If the astral traveling I was experiencing right then resembled death, then Isabelle was completely correct in saying it didn’t hurt and wasn’t all that bad. I could handle it. What I couldn’t handle was watching Duncan suffer over the loss of me. Just listening to his desperate pleas for me to heal and return to him were crushing enough. To watch him adjust to the fact that I was gone and he could never be with me because he was doomed to roam the earth a soul-less creature was more than I could bear.
“I have to do something,” I said as I jerked Isabelle around to face me. “We have to do something!”
“There is nothing you can do to change your fate, my dear friend,” she said sadly, “I show you this only to help you understand that in a very short time Duncan will lose you anyway. Whether you choose to leave your body now or later matters not.”
“So, I could leave my body now? Is that what you’re saying?” I asked.
She closed her eyes and nodded slowly.
“Am I that close to death?” I whispered.
She nodded some more.
“I… I thought I was just resting…. healing… not… not dying,” I moaned. “I can’t accept this! I can’t leave Duncan like this!”
The next thing I knew I was looking into Duncan’s beautiful sea foam blue eyes. They were wet with tears of fear mixed with joy. He pulled me close and almost crushed me in a smothering hug. I tried to tell him I was suffocating, but all I could do was gasp for air. That was enough to bring him to his senses and release me.
“I am so sorry my love,” he half laughed-half cried, “I thought I had lost you. I… I just do not know how I will go on without you.”
“Someday you will have to,” I whispered. “I will die one day.”
Yes, yes I know,” he gasped, “but not just yet. Please, not just yet.”
I stroked his beautiful cheek with my hand. It felt strong and smooth. I ran my fingers through his silky hair.
“How do you get your hair so soft?” I whispered.
He looked at me in stunned surprise before laughing hysterically and kissing my face.