October 19
Twenty-Four Years Ago
7:30 P.M.
The first order of business for any celebration, especially a sixteenth one, was the procurement of alcohol. Arlington kids sent their nannies or housekeepers to fetch the stuff. Old Filipino and Guatemalan ladies hobbling out of liquor stores with fifths of cheap bourbon, handles of vodka, gin, and tequila, along with cases of beer. Stacey was a shoo-in at Dartmouth next year, for hers was a legacy application; her dad was an alum. But right now, her parents were away, leaving her with a college-age babysitter who was only too happy to buy alcohol for a bunch of high school kids, especially since she charged them a fee for the service.
Unfortunately, Leo and Mish weren’t rich and didn’t have nannies to send to the corner store, and Brooks didn’t have a fake ID. Still, all they needed was maybe a six-pack of beer or a few wine coolers, or maybe a bottle of vodka? Leo had no idea. She never drank, never touched the stuff. She was a little afraid of it, to be honest. But she wanted some now. It seemed appropriate, and maybe even sad if there wasn’t any. But nothing about her birthday was turning out the way she had hoped. She had depended on Mish to bring the fun, and Mish had depended on Brooks, but Brooks, it appeared, was far from dependable.
It wasn’t even much of a party, just the three of them as usual now that Dave had ditched them. Maybe he didn’t think she was pretty enough. Not that she cared, but it was insulting how quickly he’d disappeared. Maybe she should just go home. She still had the bus transfer in her pocket. Maybe her mom would get off work early. Maybe they could still get that Carvel cake after all.
“So, um . . .” she started to say, before Mish jumped at her again, eyes blazing.
“HELL NO!” screamed Mish, pointing her finger right at her face.
“Huh?” Leo said, taken aback.
“Babe?” Brooks crunched his forehead adorably.
Mish kept her finger pointed at Leo. “I know what you’re going to say! You’re going to say you’re tired and you’re going home and you guys should just leave me alone; well, fuck that! It’s your birthday! We! Are! Celebrating!”
Leo laughed and took a step back. “Okay, okay!”
“You’ve got that awesome jacket, and we’re going to party!” said Mish. “Right, Brooksy?”
“Yeah, of course,” Brooks said, amused, and squeezing his girlfriend tight. “Whatever you guys want.”
“You were supposed to bring some guys,” accused Mish. “You failed in this endeavor. Even Dave left.”
“I know, I know; sheesh, I’m sorry.”
Mish put her hands on her hips. “And we can’t just stay at the mall.”
“We can’t?” asked Leo.
She shook her head. “And we’re not going to Stacey’s.”
“We’re not?” asked Brooks.
“Why not?” asked Leo.
“Because we’re not fucking celebrating your birthday at someone else’s goddamned birthday party, that’s why!” insisted Mish. “I mean, come on!”
“Okay,” said Leo. She hadn’t realized until then that it was Stacey’s birthday too.
“Okay,” said Brooks.
“Okay!” said Mish, mollified.
Brooks offered to drive to his house to try and get into his parents’ liquor cabinet, which wasn’t even locked. But Mish shook her head at that proposition. Leo wasn’t sure if Mish didn’t want to get caught by Brooks’s parents, or if she didn’t want Leo in his house again, but in the end, they ended up in the 7-Eleven back in Cully, in their neighborhood. There was a liquor store next door, where Mish procured a bottle of Gordon’s, as well as a case of beer.
“I told them it was for my dad,” she explained, walking out with the bulky brown paper bag. “They know him,” she said curtly, in a tone that meant don’t ask her any more questions.
Next they bought a liter of Mountain Dew and plastic cups and the three of them headed to the alley behind the store. It was Mish’s idea. It’s what kids from their part of town did. Leo was a bit embarrassed, but at least they had alcohol.
Mish poured a ton of vodka into each of their cups and sloshed Mountain Dew on top of it. “Happy birthday!” she said.
“Happy birthday to me!” said Leo, holding her drink high. She took a big gulp and coughed. The liquor burned in her throat. People drank this? Willingly?
“Easy there,” said Brooks with a toothsome smile, like some guy in a commercial. Did he have to be so cute?
Mish snort-laughed. “Drink up. Let’s get wasted,” she said, pouring even more vodka into Leo’s cup.
Leo drank.
They were sitting on the curb, on their third round of drinks, now with a bag of Cheetos between them, when Mish declared she was bored and they could do better than sitting on a sidewalk, getting drunk. “What else is there to do in freaking Portland,” said Brooks, a little annoyed. “Just woods, forests, woods and forest. Too many fucking parks.”
“Woods Forest,” snorted Leo. “That’s where we live.”
“We could go to the Ritz?” suggested Leo, meaning a popular coffee shop downtown.
Mish made a face. “Coffee? We want to get wasted, not sober.”
“Come on, that’s a fun idea,” said Brooks.
“If she was turning forty maybe!” said Mish. She gulped down the last of her vodka. “No, let’s go to Sparkle.”
“We don’t have IDs,” Leo said. “How’ll we get in?”
Mish rolled her eyes and peeled off her shirt without warning, so that she stood there, on the sidewalk, in her black bra. “We’re hot. That’s all we need to be. No one will card us, I promise! Come on!”
Brooks just grinned, enjoying the view.
“Fine, but I’m keeping my dress on,” said Leo.
“Prude,” said Mish, sticking her tongue out.
Sparkle was the biggest nightclub in the city that was also a live music club where all the coolest, best bands played if they were in town. If no one was headlining, the club had multilevels of DJs, one on every floor. It was Leo and Mish’s dream to go there, but they’d never been brave enough before.
“Come on!” said Mish, pulling Leo up from the sidewalk.
“Coming,” said Leo, wobbling. She’d never been drunk before, so she wasn’t quite sure what was going on, but she knew she was warm, and slightly goofy, and taking off her dress suddenly wasn’t such an outlandish idea. Everything was spinning and she felt extraordinarily brave and a little out of control, just like that afternoon when she lost her virginity all of a sudden.
Tonight, it felt like anything could happen. This was exactly what she wanted. Her birthday was shaping up to be fun after all. She just had to make her way to the back of Brooks’s car. She could do that, she thought, even as she tripped a little on the sidewalk.
Deep breath.
One step at a time.