October 19
Twenty-Four Years Ago
9:00 P.M.
It was the first time Leo had stood up to Mish, inviting Arnold to come with them to the club. She didn’t notice until then that she always went along with whatever Mish decreed. Arnold grinned. “The birthday girl says I can come with, so I’ll see you ladies there.”
“You’re not coming with us right now?” asked Leo, a little deflated.
“Naw, I got some more work to do, but I’ll catch you guys there, okay?” he said, looking apologetic. He pulled his baseball cap down low.
“Yeah, we’ll see you, Arnold,” said Mish sarcastically, rolling her eyes to the heavens.
Arnold saluted them and shuffled off, disappearing into the alley once again.
“I can’t believe you said he could join us!” said Mish, as they stomped back to the car to fetch Brooks before going to the club.
“Why can’t he? He’s nice,” said Leo. “What’s the big deal?”
“It’s just . . .” Mish said, shrugging. “I mean, you can do so much better is all.”
“Like your rich preppy boyfriend, you mean?” said Leo. She held her breath, thinking she had crossed a line, but Mish only nodded.
“Exactly,” said Mish. “I mean you kissed him. Gross.”
They walked the rest of the way back to the car in silence, but there was something new between them. Leo felt betrayed, and Mish was irritated.
When they got to the car, Brooks was waking up. “Where’d you guys go?” he asked, rubbing his eyes.
“Out,” said Mish. She held up the little bottle. “For the club. Later.”
“Sweet,” said Brooks. “I’m hungry. Is anyone else starving?”
Mish looked at her watch. “Well, we still have a little time. Dairy Queen?”
“Yum,” said Brooks. “Dairy Queen.”
“We’re really showing Brooks a classy time, aren’t we?” said Leo in a snide tone. Her irritation with Mish had sobered her up.
“Everyone goes to Dairy Queen,” said Mish.
“That’s not true,” said Leo. “Only poor people do. Brooks, have you ever been?”
Brooks looked sheepish. “I mean, I guess it’s kind of far from my house.”
“See!” said Leo triumphantly.
“Whatever!” huffed Mish.
Dairy Queen was in a scarier part of the city, and even Leo and Mish didn’t know exactly where they were. Brooks had sobered up enough so that he drove them, but he lost a little of his bravado as they drove past boarded-up buildings and abandoned warehouses, the streets empty except for homeless people and junkies.
Leo’s mother never cooked; she had that in common with Mish’s mom. On the rare occasions that she was home for dinner, she only made mashed potatoes from a box, which was the one thing she knew how to cook. When Leo was in elementary school, she was eligible for reduced lunch, and so she would always walk up to the cashier and give her a dime and say, “Reduced,” but then, so did Mish. Their elementary school was small and almost all the kids were on the government meal plan. There were days that school lunch was the only meal she ate. That was before her mom found a steady job at the restaurant.
But now that they were in high school, they noticed that not everyone was on the reduced plan; in fact, most of the kids they went to school with were not. So now it mattered, and since it mattered, they chose not to eat in the cafeteria. Instead, they ate a lot of fast food, the cheaper the better. Maybe that was why she’d gained all that weight that the modeling lady told her to lose.
“Drive through or eat in?” asked Brooks.
“Drive,” said Leo.
“Eat in,” said Mish. “You don’t want your car to stink.”
“Right,” said Brooks.
They walked inside, feeling self-conscious; the crowd was sleazy and poor, bordering on homeless, but at least they were with Brooks, who walked confidently to the counter. He paid for a few burgers and Blizzards and they slid into a booth to eat them. Mish squeezed in next to Brooks, but the table was so small that even if Leo was across from them, her knees were knocking against his. She pretended not to notice and so did he.
Mish picked up her burger and took a huge bite. “Yum!”
Leo’s stomach was loudly complaining, but she picked at hers, wanting Brooks to notice how different she was from his girlfriend, how she was that much more refined. So what if the only guy interested in her was the corner drug dealer. It didn’t mean Mish was better than her.
She never asked for this, she didn’t want to be sitting underneath this fluorescent light, eating burgers made with prison-grade meat on her birthday. She thought longingly of home, and the Carvel cake, but it was only nine o’clock; there was no way her mom would be home.
Mish and Brooks were doing that happy couple thing where he was feeding her fries and she was tucked underneath his arm, giggling, stealing kisses between bites. The sight of the two of them made her sick. She pushed her food away.
“Not hungry?” asked Mish.
“No, I lost my appetite,” said Leo.
“Maybe you’re hungry for something else,” said Mish knowingly.
“Like what?” Leo glared.
“I don’t know, you’re the one who couldn’t wait to run off with Arnold,” said Mish.
“Arnold? You guys were with Arnold?” said Brooks, disbelievingly. “That guy is a loser!”
“Leo kissed him,” said Mish with a naughty smile.
Leo’s cheeks burned but she didn’t deny it. Even though it was barely a kiss, more like a brush of his lips against hers. It was nothing. She said so. “It was nothing.”
Still, Brooks regarded her with new interest, and there was something like jealousy in his voice. “You and Arnold, huh?”
“Yeah,” said Leo. “He’s meeting us at the club.”
“God, I hope not,” said Mish. She could be such a bitch sometimes.
Leo felt something press against her knee. It was Brooks’s knee, which had knocked against hers the whole time they were sitting there, but this time, she didn’t fidget away, didn’t try to fold herself into a smaller space; she let his knee, then his thigh, slide against her knee and her thigh, so that they were pressed together, under the table.
He looked up at her, a curious look in his eyes.
Mish was in his arms, but he was looking right at Leo, and she knew what he was doing. He was picturing her kissing Arnold.
She could see it in his eyes, could see what he was seeing.
He was seeing her. He wanted her. She knew, she always knew when they wanted her. But what she didn’t know was what she would do about it.
They finished their meal, and they went to the club.