October 19
The Present
11:00 P.M.
Dinner was over, the fat lady had sung. (The opera singer actually wasn’t fat at all, but Ellie liked the expression.) Dessert had been served—a luscious buffet of delectable treats, not that anyone was partaking of any as this was mostly a fat-phobic Los Angeles–based crowd after all. But still, all that spun sugar was nice to look at.
The soprano was a hit; all the gays and a few of the grays were clustered around the singer, gushing and paying tribute. Ellie had hoped the famous diva would stay for a digestif and had hinted as much to the woman’s manager, but apparently when you booked the famous, you booked only the performance; they were not behooved to actually socialize with you. She’d never seen anyone leave a party so fast—truly, it was impressive. A few arias and twenty thousand dollars later, the soprano was gone, trailing chiffon scarves in her wake.
Now everyone was invited to gather outside, in front of the back wall, where the slideshow was about to start. The party planner was in an intense huddle with Ellie’s assistant, both of them working on the projector, hooking it up to the outdoor speakers. It wasn’t a difficult thing to do; she and Todd had always showed movies in the back of the house when they had birthday parties for the kids in LA, but they’d never done it in Palm Springs before, and Nathaniel was having trouble getting the speakers to work.
Madison caught sight of Ellie and motioned her over. “Is Todd ready?”
Todd was supposed to make a speech before the slideshow. Everything had been planned to the second. But of course he was nowhere to be found.
“I don’t know where he is,” she told them. “Can you get that thing to work?”
Nathaniel frowned. “It should work. I plugged in the right cable. I’m not really sure what’s wrong.”
“Where’s Todd?” Madison asked again.
“I don’t know!” said Ellie. “Just start without him! Forget the speech!”
Todd was probably in some dark corner with that young piece of tail he’d been flirting with earlier. Ellie thought of her friend Jacklyn, who had slipped out of her wedding to screw the hot bartender in the bathroom. No one had been the wiser, least of all the groom, especially since the bride was back in time for the toasts. It was the least Todd could do, Ellie thought, if he was doing the same. Finish fucking the bitch and get back in time to toast your wife, goddammit.
Madison tapped her watch. “If we delay any longer, we’ll be late for drag bingo,” she said.
“I said get on with it,” Ellie said, seething. “Nathaniel! Get that thing working already!”
“I’m trying,” he said, furiously tapping the keyboard on his laptop.
The crowd was getting listless, and Ellie knew they would dissipate soon, wander off to separate corners to smoke cigarettes or gossip about her family. She wanted them all here. She had demanded a captive audience and her husband couldn’t even do her the courtesy to show up for the speech he was supposed to give before the slideshow celebrating her life. She stabbed her fingernails into the palms of her hands.
“Nathaniel, I swear . . .” she began, just as the speakers overhead boomed to life with Green Day’s “Time of Your Life.”
Nathaniel gave her a thumbs-up. She looked around one last time for Todd. Where the hell was he?
Madison frantically gestured with the clicker.
Ellie threw up her hands. Yes, I know. The drag queens. We’ll be late for bingo. Fine.
The slideshow started.
Click. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ELLIE!
There was the photo of her and Todd when they were first dating, from the Emmys. He’d been so handsome, even with his bad frosted highlights. She still teased him about that, a straight man with highlights. He’d been so vain. And now he was probably fucking some twenty-year-old in the bathroom to make up for all the weight he’d gained. It was all an ego stroke, right? Pun definitely intended.
Another photo: of her and Sam, all of ten, the age Giggy was now. Sam had been such an awkward child. Oh, Sam. What had she confessed? That she was on probation, and there was something about not being able to come back in January? And there was more? WHAT? Did Todd know about this? He was supposed to deal with Samantha; that kid was part of his job. How could he let this happen? Ellie was trying to keep everything together and all Todd had to do was make sure everything in the family was fine, and he couldn’t even do that.
Sam was mad at her and she wasn’t anywhere in the crowd. Ellie couldn’t find her. She wasn’t watching the slideshow. Sam was mad because Ellie had to take a work call, and this wasn’t the first time that had happened, but maybe the worst. Ellie sighed. Now, because her husband hadn’t dealt with it, she would have to do it. She’d have to find Sam and figure out what was happening and, more important, why it happened in the first place. Ellie often felt pulled in so many different directions, and now look, she had taken her eye off the ball and Sam was flunking out of Stanford.
Ellie looked around. No Sam. No Todd. The busty girl was nowhere to be found either. Ellie’s life was literally flashing before her eyes. Maybe this was what death was like, she thought and shuddered, remembering.
Where was he? Surely, he’d be at the party by now? What did he look like now? Why did he reach out now? What did he want? He better not want money. She didn’t have any. Oh my god, what if he wanted money?
She wrestled her thoughts away from the past.
More photos.
The family in Park City (the stupid house that cost too much money and was filled with ants). She would have to sell that house as soon as possible.
A sweet picture of Giggy.
Ellie loved her child with an ache. She knew she wasn’t doing well at school, with all her issues, plus she was being bullied. The girls in her class were mean—why had Ellie even invited their parents? And some boy was hitting her, and they knew exactly who it was—the principal’s kid. Todd said they had to go to the headmaster, not the principal, to deal with it. He was furious, and they’d have to figure out a strategy when they got back to Los Angeles.
Now there were photos from Wild & West shoots, as well as pictures of her company—the warehouses, all the employees waving. The company she had built from scratch, from sheer will. The company that might not exist by next week if she didn’t get Mr. Harry Kim to put down his money to save them.
Her husband was having an affair, her stepdaughter was flunking out of college, her ten-year-old was being hazed, and the twins were out of control.
But hey, it all looked perfect on camera, didn’t it? And wasn’t that the point?
The lights came back on.
Ellie wiped her cheeks, and only then realized she’d been crying. She had a beautiful life. Why hadn’t she appreciated it more? Why had she ever complained about it?
She loved it so much, but it was over, for so many reasons. Everything was over.