Painters are creeps, and we’ve codified a series of cordial questions designed to gauge how well the competition is doing. Here are some examples translated into English. I’ve heard them all:
“Where do you store your paintings?”
Are you selling?
“Do you build your stretchers?”
Can you afford to have them custom built?
“How do you ship your paintings?”
Do you have a dealer?
“I didn’t realize that painting like this was possible.”
Kinko’s is hiring.
“Do you have any drawings?”
I didn’t realize that painting like this was possible.
“I went to your opening last night. You’ve done it again.”
I didn’t realize that painting like this was possible.
“I love your work, but I’m not very sophisticated.”
I can’t control my verbal diarrhea.
“I’ve never heard of you.”
Not only have I heard of you, but I’m so jealous that I could cut myself.
“Let’s have coffee.”
Fuck you in the neck.