About a month has passed since the attack on Pearl. Life as we once knew it has yet to return to any sort of normalcy. I’m not sure it ever will ever feel quite the same.
I have been temporarily assisting at the Naval hospital, waiting on initial orders from the Army Nurse Corps. The enlisted men are all still working never-ending days to repair and replace the abundance of damage. I have been wondering if they might be luckier than the rest of us on base with so much work to focus on. The busier we are, the less time there is to think about what is happening to the world.
Each day, I take a bagged lunch to the shaded area down the street to relieve my head of the commotion inside the hospital. Unfortunately, I can’t escape the noises that haunt me the most because they live within my mind. If I could plug my ears to make the explosions and cries stop, I would, but I’d still see the horrific images playing before my eyes. There is nowhere to look without a reminder of the attack.
Even after a month, the shrapnel is still in piles within the grass, beneath the curbs, and even on roofs. The worst visual is watching mothers and children walk by with gas masks dangling from their hands. The military has issued all of us protective gear in case there is another air raid or poison gas attack. To witness a drill is like taking a blow to the stomach, and it makes me question how life can have so little meaning.
The military oversees everything in the state of Hawaii. Our freedom that we have enjoyed feels like a distant memory, and though it’s for our protection, many of us silently feel like prisoners in the place we call home. I want to wake up and find this all to have been a nightmare, but when I open my eyes each morning, I realize that the time I spend asleep is my only escape.
Saturdays are like every other day of the week now, but we all sleep in for an extra hour in the morning. Today might be an exception, however, because Dad is having an indiscreet conversation on the telephone. It’s rare to hear him speaking so loudly to anyone, never mind this early in the day. My silk French robe, a hand-me-down from Mom that Dad brought her after returning from Europe during the first World War, is hanging over the upholstered armchair within reach. I wrap myself up snuggly, protecting my warm skin from the mild draft whirling around. Once my feet are snug within my house slippers, I tip-toe down the hallway to listen in on the conversation Dad is doing little to hide.
“Yes, Captain, I agree and understand. Of course, the timing isn’t favorable for either of us. However, I agree Lieutenant Anderson is the best candidate for this position. I will meet with the colonel today to discuss this transition.”
Silence bears its heaviness as I wait to hear what Dad says next. “We saw the paratrooper demonstration a couple months ago. It was a phenomenal demonstration, Captain. In fact, I was watching along with Lieutenant Anderson. The display had him quite enamored, in fact. I’m sure Georgia will suit him well too.”
My mouth falls ajar, baffled by the discussion. Of all the men on base, I can’t understand why Everett would be a topic of conversation with any captain. I know we both understood the probability of deployments, but he’s going to be moved, and I can’t help but wonder if Dad has something to do with this, or why he would do such a thing.
I flee from the door as the phone call ends with the sound of the receiver clapping with a ding against receiver. With silent movements, I close myself into my bedroom, pondering how I can warn Everett before the colonel approaches him. I shouldn’t have been eavesdropping and I have no right interfering, but this feels like the beginning to a very long uphill road ahead—one he might want a say in. Though I’m not ignorant to the way orders come in, this situation feels unusual.
With eagerness rushing through my body, I find fresh clothes and smooth out the bed-worn imperfections in my hair. I look simply exhausted, but there isn’t a person living within a ten-mile radius who doesn’t appear as weary.
In less than ten minutes, I’m out of the house, lifting the kickstand from my bicycle. I spot Audrey outside, picking weeds from their front garden. I must be quick with my hello. There still seems to be a bit of tension between us, but I can say the same with my family as well. No one understands my decision for enlisting, and we have all agreed to disagree.
I slowly crawl to a stop in front of her driveway, hearing the squeal of my brakes, which reminds me to grease the gears later this afternoon.
“Where are you off so early this morning?” Audrey calls out, her hand cupped over her eyes to shield away the sun.
“Oh, I have to talk to Everett before he reports to duty this morning. It’s nothing important.”
“You have the afternoon free, don’t you?”
It’s the first Saturday I have had any free time over the last month. “I do. How about yourself?”
“Surprisingly, yes, I do too. I was wondering if you would like to come over for some tea today?”
“I’d like that, yes. What time shall we say?”
“How about a bit after noon?”
“I’ll be here,” I confirm.
“Wonderful, ride safely,” she calls out with a wave.
I feel like I just had a conversation with an old acquaintance, not my best friend. For as long as Audrey and I have been friends, there has never been an awkward pause or a moment to wonder if her thoughts match the words she’s speaking. It feels awful to think something has come between us. I can only hope a little alone time with some tea and gossip can patch up whatever is wrong with our friendship today.
My light sweater billows in the wind as I pedal down through town. The chilly draft I felt earlier this morning is more like a cool breeze along the shore. It must be cooler than sixty degrees, which isn’t typical for Hawaii.
I run my fingers through my hair and pull my tube of lipstick from my dress pocket to refresh the color on my lips. With little makeup on, the least I can do is have a bright hue somewhere on my face to brighten it when greeting Everett this early in the morning.
My fist beating against his door doesn’t cause any alarm or rattle from within his barrack. “Everett, it’s Lizzie,” I announce through the door. After a long second, I hear the squeal from the rusty springs in his mattress. He must have been asleep still. I glance down at my wristwatch, finding the time to be only seven in the morning. I should have waited a little longer before waking him on the one day he can sleep in but knowing Everett he would only leave enough time to wake up, shower and dress before needing to report to duty.
The metal bolt lock releases and he opens the door a few inches, enough for the sun to cast a burning glow against his minty eyes. He’s only dressed in his skivvies, his hair is in a tousled mess, and by the look written within the angle of his eyebrows, he appears perplexed about my reason for being here when we have plans tonight. “Is everything all right, doll-face?”
“I’m not sure,” I say, trying to be honest. While the idea of Everett leaving is terrible, I need to know what his thoughts are before telling him how I truly feel.
He reaches outside for my elbow and pulls me into his room, closing then bolting the door shut. For someone who wears a uniform during most of his waking hours, he still has the tan of a Hawaiian god. He says he tans easily, but sometimes I wonder if those boys take breaks and sit out on the tarmacs to get a little sun in the middle of the day. “I would have rather woken up next to you than to the sound of your fist against the door,” he says, grabbing a white t-shirt from the neatly stacked pile of laundered undergarments on his bureau.
“You know weekdays are the only times I can get away without the interrogation from my father.”
“You’re a grown woman, Lizzie. We shouldn’t need to sneak around anymore. Your father wasn’t born yesterday. I’m sure he knows what an adult relationship entails.” Everything Everett is saying is true, but until I move out of that house, I’m doing what I can to keep the peace.
“If I had my way, I would be here every night.”
“If I had my way, we’d run away and get married before either of us gets sent away,” he says.
His words feel like tiny knives plunging into my heart. I didn’t see myself as the type to be in a rush to get married. I wasn’t the type. I’m still not because I wouldn’t dream of doing such a thing while we’re on the brink of whatever happens next in this war. But the thought plays out like a fairytale in my head during the nights I’m not here with him. “I wouldn’t be able to be in the Army Nurse Corps,” I remind him.
“I know, and while I’d like to say that would be the ideal reason to go get married right now, I wouldn’t ask that of you.”
“That’s the reason I love you, Everett Anderson. A piece of gold and a sheet of paper telling me what I already know doesn’t make a difference in what the future holds for us. I’m yours. That will never change.”
“Well, I’m yours, so don’t forget that when some soldier is trying to get your attention with their baby blues, begging you to nurse them back to health.”
“That look doesn’t work on me, Mr. Anderson. You should know better.”
“I’m just fooling with you.” Everett presses his hands against the sides of my shoulders and pulls me in to interrupt our conversation with a kiss that steals every last breath from my lungs, leaving me weak and without the motivation to speak. The warmth of his skin against my hands is a feeling I will keep with me whenever we are apart. My arms fit perfectly against the sides of his back muscles. I press my cheek to his chest, closing my eyes to keep the moment going for as long as I can before spoiling everything with the news I overheard. “You drive me wild, Lizzie, you know that?”
I snicker quietly and take a step back to allow him to pull his shirt over his head. “I’m afraid I overheard a conversation this morning that I shouldn’t have.”
Everett straightens his white shirt and crosses his arms over his chest. “What do you mean?”
“I woke up to the sound of a conversation coming from the dining room. My father was on the phone with a Captain, but I’m not sure which one. They were discussing orders and mentioned your name as the most suitable candidate for the position in Georgia. Apparently, my father is due to talk to your colonel today.”
Everett’s brows rise then fall, his mouth parts, and he takes a couple of steps backward to sit on the edge of his bed. “Georgia. Fort Benning is in Georgia. That’s where the paratroopers train.” I realize now is not the time to remind Everett about his decision to remain a pilot rather than the man jumping out of a plane, but he may not have a say, I suppose. “Did your dad recommend me?”
I shrug my shoulders and clasp my hands together, feeling guilty for only reporting the part of the conversation I heard. “It was hard to tell from the time I listened in. It sounded as if they had already mentioned your name and my father agreed you are the best candidate for the position.”
Everett lifts his stare, focusing on my eyes as shock fades from his tense shoulders. “I don’t know what to say, Lizzie.”
“Is this something you want?” I ask. I don’t think it matters, but if he must go, I’d prefer to know he doesn’t hate the idea.
Everett stands up from his bed and locks his hands on his hips. “You’re asking me an impossible question. Yes, I want to work with the paratroopers. Hell, it’s the reason I enlisted, but you’ve made all that change, and I don’t mean that in a bad way. I’d jump off a cliff if it meant having more time with you for a little longer, but we both know that wouldn’t change a thing and we are holding our breath daily, waiting for your orders to come in.”
“Everett, you are going to be jumping from planes because someone tells you to,” I argue, “but that isn’t the point. You’re right. We both knew what we were doing when we enlisted, and we can’t have regrets.” Just heartache.
“Did he say when this would happen?”
I shake my head. “No, but it’s fair to assume things will move along quickly. Act surprised when your colonel approaches you with this information, okay?”
“Of course. That goes without saying, sweetheart.”
Everett takes a moment to peer out of his one window, overlooking another barrack building. “We’re facing the inevitable and biding our time before one of us has to leave. I can’t lie to you and tell you this isn’t what I want. In fact, this is beyond any opportunity I could have hoped for in the Air Corps. But, doll, one thing has nothing to do with the other. I want to take you with me.”
The thought passes through my mind, an idea I hadn’t considered in the last hour. “How would that work? We aren’t married, and we couldn’t live in the barracks together?”
“I have money, Lizzie. We could get a little place off base.”
I must have stars floating above my head at the mere idea of playing house with Everett, but it’s only a matter of time before reality kicks in to remind me that at any moment I could receive orders to move anywhere within this country to train. The odds of ending up at Fort Benning are as unlikely as one of us not deploying within the next few months. For the moment, though, and for the sake of his sweet offer, I jump into his arms, lock my legs around his waist, and slap my hands against his cheeks. “That sounds like a dream come true.”
“Under one condition, though,” he says, pulling his head back to capture my full attention.
“What’s that?” I ask, feeling the muscles in my cheeks tighten against my smile.
“Pretend like this is an actual possibility until we find out it’s not.”