Half-Fae.
I was Half-Fae.
Rumple disappeared with a soft pop, leaving me alone with Pan. There was a slight awkwardness between us. Understandable, considering the only link that bound us together was Rumple, and he was off, searching for pieces of clues I wasn’t even sure about.
“You should call your father,” Pan said, eyeing Geoffrey’s body. “He’ll need to take the body in before anyone else knows you killed Hunter with ShadowMagic.”
I blinked. I hadn’t even thought of that. I looked down at my hands, wondering what the hell was going on with me, what the hell I had done. Again, there was no feeling of guilt, no remorse. I felt good. And that scared me.
“Pathetic human,” Pan said, shaking his head dismissively. “You are afraid of your own magic. Might I ask why?”
“I just killed someone,” I said as though it was obvious. I thrust my hands behind my back and began to pace.
“Yes, and?” Pan asked. He glanced at his cuticles, eyes half-mast.
“Well, that’s kind of a big deal,” I pointed out.
“He was a rapist,” Pan said, dropping his hand to the side. “More importantly, he was your rapist. Why feel guilty for ridding this world of a vile monster like that?”
I swallowed. “That’s the thing,” I said. “I don’t. I don’t feel bad at all.”
Pan waited a moment. “And?” he pushed again.
“I killed someone!” I repeated, throwing my arms out. “Regardless of anything else, regardless of who he was or how much evil he possessed, that isn’t something I should just be okay with.”
Pan rolled his eyes. “I don’t understand the sentimentality to something like mortal life,” he stated. “Especially for someone as evil as Geoffrey Hunter was. What redeemable quality can you find in him that makes you concerned?”
“You think this is about him?” I asked. “It’s not. What if…what if this is who I am now? What if I’m just a killer who enjoys killing? What if I get used to taking life away? What if -“
“Your prattling is giving me an ache in my head,” Pan muttered sardonically.
He wasn’t helping. If anything, he was making the situation worse. I opened my mouth, ready to tell him as much, when he rolled his shoulders back and locked his pale green eyes with my own.
“The best thing you can do for yourself, mortal, is educate yourself on your powers,” he said. “You are scared because you do not understand them. So…understand them.” He said it as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.
I had no idea what to even say to that. I didn’t even know where to start.
“Why...why do you look…?”
“Look what?” I snapped.
Pan was more exasperating than his brother.
“Constipated.”
“I don’t know.” I threw my hands out as I began to pace around the room. “I killed someone. I liked killing someone. Then, my boyfriend disappears, leaving me alone with you and I don’t like you very much and I know you don’t like me…” I sucked in a breath, trying to catch it. “It’s just been a day. Oh, and on top of all of that, I’m Half-Fae. Not human. Half-freaking-Fae.”
Pan glanced away before looking back at me. “Yes, and?”
Suddenly, I thought of something, something so terribly disgusting I nearly keeled over and threw up all over the floor. “I’m not...we’re not…” I sucked in another breath as my face set itself on fire. “I mean, you guys would know, right? Rumple would know -”
“You and the prattling.” He reached up and began to rub his temples. “For the love of your god, please. Spit it out.”
“I’m not your long lost sister, right?” I asked. I halted my pacing, giving him a long stare.
Pan held my stare, but unlike my easy-to-read face, his was inscrutable. Finally, he tilted his head to the side. “No,” he drawled out. “We would know. It’s a Fae thing.”
“Oh,” I said. “So, I would recognize someone related to me.”
“Do you know anyone related to you?” Pan asked.
“No.”
“Then, no, you wouldn’t,” he said. “We know Rapunzel. We spent centuries with her before the little fool disappeared.” His words turned biting and I wasn’t sure if it was due to his anger at his sister or at the situation. “We would recognize her magic unless, of course, it fused with someone else’s. Your magic is entirely your own.”
“Huh.”
“Huh,” Pan repeated. His nose wrinkled, clearly disgusted. “You mortals and your lack of proper diction.”
“I’m not a mortal, though,” I said, sticking up my finger. “I’m Half-Fae.”
“Even worse,” Pan muttered.
“What do you mean?”
He let out a dramatic sigh and began to fiddle with the watch on his wrist. “Your naivety is not my burden,” he said. “Go unload it somewhere else.”
“I’ve already killed one asshole tonight,” I growled.
My fingers twinged, reminding me my magic was there, should I need it. Of course, I knew it was stupid to even insinuate a threat against Pan, but I was cranky and angry and a little bit hungry. I didn’t appreciate his characteristic dismissive tone, but I also was in no mood to deal with it. And after everything I had gone through, I was pissed that Rumple would just...leave.
I didn’t want to make this about me.
I didn’t.
Whatever Rumple needed to seek out was clearly important to him, and my love was strong enough to trust him.
I just...I needed him.
I needed him now. And I would have appreciated if he had stayed.
“You dare threaten me?” Pan asked, eyes narrowed. His jaw ticked, and my heart skipped slightly. He knew I was talking out of my ass. He knew I had no control over my abilities. I barely knew what I was.
“Of course not.” My voice fell flat. I released my hold over myself and sighed, shoulders sagging.
Pan eyed me, arching a brow. “You’re...confusing.”
“What?”
“I just...you feel a lot of things,” he said. “I do not understand how you can function with the amount of things you feel on a daily basis. I do not understand how my brother has the energy to deal with you and your emotions.” He paused. “You are Half Fae. You are regarded as lower than even human because of your mixed blood. A fae should not even think to have...relations with a mere mortal. It’s beneath us. And to spawn something from that…?” He wrinkled his nose.
“So, my relationship with your brother...disgusts you?” I asked in a low voice. I didn’t want to care about his opinion of my relationship with his brother. But I did. Because despite the animosity they held for each other, I knew they cared about each other. And if Pan didn’t like me…
I doubted his opinion would sway Rumple one way or the other, but things would be much easier if he liked me, though like was a strong word to use in association with Pan.
“No,” he said.
I blinked. “What?” I asked.
“No,” he said, lifting a shoulder. “I would never have relations with you or a mortal or anyone below who I deem worthy. Your relationship with my brother is not my business.”
My lips broke out into a gentle smile. I didn’t know why but that made me feel a lot better.
“I don’t like you much, though,” he continued. “You’re more trouble than you’re worth.”
I frowned, but his words didn’t hurt me that much. In fact, they relieved me. I expected this from Pan. Just because I had killed someone, just because I was half-Fae, that hadn’t changed how he treated me.
I needed that bit of comfort right now, even if it was no comfort at all.
“You should probably call your father,” Pan continued. He nearly stepped on Geoffrey and the look of disgust crept back onto his face. “The one who didn’t actually sire you. There is a dead body, after all.”
I blinked.
Yes, I needed to call my father, explain what happened.
My mouth went dry. What would happen to me? Detective Harrelson was already suspicious of me. He believed I could actually do magic because of faceless witnesses. Rumple managed to get me out of that, but now, I wasn’t sure I could avoid his ire any longer.
“Right.” I reached into the pocket of my leather jacket and pulled out my phone. I nearly dropped the phone as I tried to unlock it. It was as though my fingers were drenched in rain and I couldn’t hold onto anything.
After I managed to catch it, I unlocked it. I went extra slow, just in case I almost dropped it again, though maybe it was more about keeping my fingers from shaking than anything else.
I called my father and explained that I needed him right away. When I looked up, after hanging up the phone, Pan was gone.
I shouldn’t have been surprised.
I wasn’t.
But that didn’t make me feel any better.
I was still alone.
My father arrived only a few minutes after that. I was suddenly so glad to see him, I nearly burst into tears. He took in Geoffrey Hunter’s body almost immediately. The questions popped into his eyes, but he pressed his lips together and said nothing. Instead, he watched me, watched as I looked at the body, then at my hands, and then away. I could feel the shame crawl onto my face. There was no way for me to stop it.
“Oh, Alice,” he said, his low voice like a shout as it filled up the small, silent room. “We need to talk. There’s so much I need to tell you.”
I swallowed. Speaking with my father should not have left me intimidated, but it did. I wished Rumple had stayed here, with me. I wanted him to hear everything my father seemed willing to promise to share. I needed him to make sense of it, to ask the hard-hitting questions I was worried I might not ask.
But Rumple was gone, Pan was gone, and I was here by myself.
My father cleared his throat, shifting his weight. At least he wasn’t the only one who was nervous about the prospect of telling me things, things he probably never expected having to tell me in the first place. I couldn’t feel sorry for him, not when so much of my life had been a lie.
“Well,” he said, lifting his arms out into an awkward shrug. “Where should I start?”
Part of me was glad he wasn’t focused on the fact that I had wanted Rumple with me. Either he was so focused on what he was going to say or he didn’t want to mention Rumple, afraid of what I might say about the Imp. No one in Wonderland trusted him, but they did revere him because of his powers, his ShadowMagic.
ShadowMagic like I possessed.
“The beginning,” I said. I looked down at my hands, my magic tingling my fingers.
It still hadn’t hit me that I had killed someone with my magic.
Hunter was not going to get up anytime soon. He wasn’t going to get up ever.
I was surprised my father hadn’t asked me about it. Maybe he already knew. My lips curled down in disgust. If my father knew Geoffrey Hunter was a rapist and let him go free because of some bullshit protection, I didn’t think I could look at him the same way.
“Right.” He nodded once and cleared his throat again. This time, he reached up to cup the back of his head with his palm. “The beginning. Should we, um, go somewhere, I don’t know, more private?”
I crossed my arms over my chest, the crinkle of my leather jacket comforting as it was familiar.
“I don’t know,” I said. “I guess it depends on what you’re going to tell me.”
I didn’t say that if anyone found out about what he was going to tell me, he could lose his job. Hell, he might even go to prison, depending on what he did. I knew he lied, he forged police reports, he withheld evidence. And yet, he could still look at me and tell me to do the right thing, even if the right thing was hard.
I almost laughed.
What a joke.
The conversation we had had earlier, when Sabrina Charming was arrested for the murder of Mary Stone, had been hopeful, like maybe we could go back to the way things were, but now? Now, I didn’t know if that was even possible.
“Let’s get out of here,” he said. “Would you be more comfortable at our place - I guess my place, since you moved out. Or would you rather be at Peter’s?”
“Peter’s,” I said without hesitating. If I went back to the apartment I used to share with my father, there was a good chance I would fall into the role of daughter, and I didn’t want that. I didn’t want him to think he could tell me what to do and I didn’t want to think I had to do it just because he said so.
My father nodded once. I knew he didn’t want to go there. It probably reminded him that I wasn’t with him any longer, but maybe that was a good thing. Maybe that was exactly what I needed him to remember. I was an adult and I could make my own choices, choices he probably wasn’t going to agree with but were my own nonetheless.
Just like there were choices he made that I didn’t agree with.
My father called in the body, doing his best to lower his voice so I wouldn’t overhear the details. I doubted he was going to throw me under the bus. Maybe he was trying not to draw attention to it, as though we could just pretend there was no dead man present.
What a joke.
I crawled into my car, staring at the wheel as though I had never seen one in my life. Like I had completely forgotten how to drive. Someone honked behind me, and my shoulders jumped to my ears. I turned, only to find my father waiting patiently in his cruiser. Sirens pierced the quiet town, clearly on their way over to Hunter’s office.
We had to leave, now.
I started the car, and suddenly, I could drive again. I slowly backed out of my spot and headed to Peter’s home. The drive itself was relatively short, and I pulled into the driveway. I was relieved I didn’t even have to think about it.
I stepped out of the car, and my dad followed me to the door. I pulled out my keys, opened the door, and headed for my room. I didn’t stop to say hello to Peter and reject a cup of tea. Even if I thought it would soothe me, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to stop our discussion for tea.
We got to my room and I shut the door behind me.
“So,” I said. “I guess you should start at the beginning.”
But before he could say anything, a loud pop echoed in my room, and without warning, someone appeared.