Session 5
Developing our skills at expressing affection
Review of Session 4
Last time we explored reasons why we express feelings of like or love by words and gestures of affection. Can you remember some of the feelings you have when someone is affectionate to you?
What could happen if you did not show affection to a friend or someone in your family?
1. Review the diary of receiving and giving affection from Session 4
Review, share and discuss the information and experiences recorded in your diary of receiving and giving affection.
Consider these questions:
Did you enjoy expressing affection?
Which types? To whom?
Did you enjoy receiving affection?
Which types? By whom?
Did you express too much or too little affection?
How did you know?
Did you receive enough affection?
Are there any situations in which you do not like to give or receive affection? What are they?
2. Different types of affection in different situations
The matching game
On the following page there is a list of situations and a list of different types of affection. See if you can match the best type of affection for the situation by drawing a line between the situation and the type of affection.
| Situation | Type of affection |
| Your dad or carer is trying to talk to someone on the phone and doing the washing-up at the same time. | Pat on the head |
| Your mum or carer smiles at you. | Hand shake |
| It is bedtime and time to say ‘good night’ to your parent or carer. | Close, long hug |
| It is time to go to school and time to say ‘goodbye’ to your parent or carer. | Quick kiss on the cheek |
| Your friend hits a difficult-to-hit ball in a tennis game. | Hold hands |
| Your parent or carer says, ‘I love you.’ | Kiss on the lips |
| A stranger says, ‘Hello’ and holds out their hand. | Saying, ‘You are my best friend’ |
| The postman comes to your house. | Saying, ‘I love you’ |
| Your parent or carer is crying. | Arm around the shoulders |
| Your friend has fallen off his or her bike and has hurt himself. | Quick hug |
| Your aunt has come to visit and it is time to say ‘Hello’ to her. | Saying, ‘You have nice eyes’ |
| You see someone you do not know. | Saying, ‘Well done!’ |
| Your mum or carer cooks you your favourite meal. | Pat on the back |
| Your friend gives you a pat on the back. | Saying, ‘Thank you’ |
| Your friend gives you a nice present. | Saying, ‘I like the way you did that’ |
3. How can you tell if someone needs affection?
What are the signs that someone needs affection? Think of the person’s facial expression, body language, words and tone of voice, the situation and what you know about that person. Think of the signs you would notice in different situations.
Facial expression
Body language
Words
Tone of voice
The situation
What you know about the person
See if you can you have a go expressing those signs yourself and noticing them in the facial expression, body language and tone of voice of the person you are working with.
4. How can you tell if you have given too much affection?
What are the signs in someone’s facial expression, body language and words?
Facial expression
Body language
Words
How will that person feel?
5. How can you tell if you have given not enough affection?
What are the signs in someone’s facial expression, body language and words?
Facial expression
Body language
Words
How will that person feel?
6. What are the three most important things you have learned about affection?
1.
2.
3.
7. Complete the postprogramme assessments
Complete the ‘A Walk in the Forest’, ‘Returning Home from School’ and ‘A Friend Feeling Sad’ activities from Session 1 again.
A WALK IN THE FOREST
Imagine it is early morning and you are walking along a path in a forest. As you come to the middle of the forest, you notice that several trees have fallen to the ground. You are curious, as you know that there have been no high winds recently that would explain why the trees have come down. As you climb over the tree trunks, you see that in the middle of the fallen trees there is what looks like a small space ship.
As you carefully approach it, there is a strange noise and an opening appears at the front of the space ship. Out of the opening comes a glowing object, about the size and shape of a tennis ball. The glowing shape hovers just above you, and then slowly descends to become level with your eyes. Suddenly it disappears and there in front of you is someone who looks exactly like you.
The person who looks exactly the same as you starts to speak, with a voice the same as yours. This duplicate ‘you’ explains that it is an alien that has crashed on planet earth while observing humans. It explains that the space ship will be repaired in a few hours, but before leaving, the alien has a very important question to ask you about humans.
The alien has observed that humans seem to need to communicate that they like or love one another, and that they do this by saying nice things to each other and touching one another. It has observed that this behaviour seems to happen particularly between friends and family members. The alien is curious as to why humans do this.
Can you explain to the alien why humans are affectionate with each other?
The alien now understands and gives you a special present. What present could the alien give you?
RETURNING HOME FROM SCHOOL
Imagine you have just returned home from school. You walk into the kitchen to let your mother know that you are home. You see that she is sitting at the kitchen table with her back to you. As you say ‘Hi’, she turns round and you notice that she is crying.
What would you do or say first?
What could you do or say to make her feel better?
A FRIEND FEELING SAD
Imagine you have arrived at school, just before your friend. As your friend enters the school grounds, you notice your friend looks very sad. Your friend explains that early that morning, his or her dog escaped from home, ran across a road, was hit by a car, and died.
What could you do or say to make your friend feel better?
How has your understanding of affection changed since the beginning of the programme?
8. Express affection to someone in the group with a compliment or gesture such as a hug
9. Receive your certificate of knowledge!
