Chapter 3  

Hannah knew she was forgetting important things because her little brothers and Pa kept pestering her to make them meals and find them clean clothes.

Kevin cried for his mama all the time. Abe was white-lipped and too quiet. Jeremy was so upset, Hannah was scared for him, afraid he’d turn bad, as he was always lashing out in anger. She needed to help them, but she couldn’t gather her thoughts together enough to help anyone.

She found herself turning to Ma for advice, only to be caught by a wicked stab of grief. Ma would never be around again. If there was a conflict between the boys, she settled it the best she knew how. If the gravy didn’t thicken, she served it thin with profuse apologies and bowed her head and bore the complaints. Hannah knew how to run a household quite well, but only now did she realize how much she’d depended on her mother.

The winter term of school was lost, and Hannah told them she wasn’t up to teaching the spring term. She was just too addled. Rather than replace her, which wasn’t easy in a town with few single women, Dry Gulch ended up skipping the spring term, too.

The good folks of Dry Gulch agreed to be patient. It was decided that school wouldn’t resume until the next fall.

Hannah had the house running well by then. Pa hadn’t wanted her to go back to work because there’d be no one to prepare his midday meals, but perfect Martha and even the grumbler Nelda were each having him over once a week for the noonday meal. To fill in, though he groused about it, Pa stopped in Rosella Bindle’s diner in town.

Hannah saw her life laid out before her now, raising her little brothers and caring for Pa. She’d always believed she would marry someday, too, like her little sisters, but now she gave that up. Her family needed her, and she needed them.

She hadn’t had the energy to meddle in anyone’s life for a while and she regretted that. She’d really helped some people. She knew Neill Archer and Clara Danvers had left the area together, and Mack Danvers, the old tyrant, regaled the town with stories of his former daughter-in-law, Clara, and his grandson. Grace and Clayton Weber were still near Dry Gulch. Hannah saw them every week at church. Grace and Clayton dealt with each new struggle courageously. Word had gotten back to town that Lucy Benson had married Andrew Simms, the nephew who’d searched for help for his aunt. Hannah had sent poor put-upon Lucy.

Hannah had helped those folks. If she ever found any energy, she’d like to help others. But right now she could barely take care of her own family.

Marcus had taken to bringing the firewood every week. So she saw him regularly, and although he was still awkward, he managed a stilted conversation with her—as long as she did most of the talking. Nothing happened again like that moment they’d shared when he’d fallen. But she remembered his kindness when he’d brought the terrible news of Ma’s death, and his strong arms when she’d cried. She’d leaned on his shoulder during the long ride home to the ranch. He was a nice man, decent and hardworking. Almost a friend, except he was so quiet.

Her life was the exact opposite of what one pictured as the quiet, lonely life of an old maid. She had three children, for heaven’s sake, a crotchety man to care for, and a demanding job that kept her jumping.

If this was spinsterhood, then thank heavens for it, because there was no time for a husband.

Winter was tightening its grip on the Texas countryside as Hannah finished the long walk home from school, carrying three-year-old Kevin in her arms. Her brothers tagged along after her. She found Pa sitting at the kitchen table with Essie, the only waitress at Rosella Bindle’s diner.

“Essie’n me got married today, Hannie. You’re to call her Ma from now on.” Pa grinned as he gave her the news.

Hannah stood frozen in the kitchen doorway, unable to think of a thing to say, certainly unable to force the word Ma past her lips. Jeremy ran into her back because she’d stopped so suddenly. Kevin wiggled in her arms, and Essie came and plucked him out of her arms. Kevin went easily because he was an outgoing friendly little boy, used to being cared for by all the children at school as well as Hannah. She was too amazed to cling to him, even though the impulse was there.

Jeremy squirmed past her and headed straight for the cookie jar. Abe was right behind and bumped Hannah’s shoulders to get by her. She was incapable of movement.

Pa repeated his announcement. “This here’s my new wife, boys. We got hitched today and she’s yer ma now.”

Jeremy and Abe turned to stare at Essie.

Essie had been a widow. Hannah guessed she was around thirty-five. She’d been waiting tables at the diner and living overhead since her husband died years back. Now Essie stood with Kevin on her hip and said to Hannah with a falsely sweet voice, the kind people sometimes used when they were talking down to children, “Two cooks can’t share a kitchen—you know that, Hannah. Your pa and I have decided you’ll live in my room in town.”

Pa grinned and nodded. “You can keep your thirty dollars a month now.”

He said it as if letting her keep the money she earned was an act of generosity.

“That, with what you have at the bank, will more’n see to your needs.” Pa had banked half of her salary ever since she’d started teaching at age seventeen. He’d kept the other half for the family. Hannah had urged him to take it all. She didn’t need any money.

She barely registered the fact that her things were already packed. The team was hitched up and ready to go. She was so stunned she barely noticed herself being escorted out. Only Pa drawing her along, his hand on her arm, made her move.

“Abe, you stay home.” He pointed at ten-year-old Abe. “No room for you on the buckboard.”

“I’ll take Kevin so you won’t need to worry over him,” Essie said with her perky voice.

“Jeremy, you grab Hannah’s trunk and come along. We need help toting. Essie’ll ride up front with me. Hannah, you ride with Jeremy in the wagon box.”

She glanced behind her and saw Abe in the doorway, white-faced, his jaw rigid, silent. Jeremy had the furious look on his face Hannah recognized from after Ma died. She had hoped that anger was gone forever.

Pa shooed her along as if she were a critter who needed to be herded. When she got to the wagon, because Jeremy hadn’t moved, Pa hoisted her trunk in. Essie had Kevin in one arm and a crate full of Hannah’s clothes in the other.

What a helpmate she was turning out to be.

Pa took the box from Essie and shoved it in by the trunk. Then he caught Hannah around the waist and boosted her into the back of the wagon. Pa escorted Essie to the front of the wagon and boosted her up.

Essie giggled.

Jeremy jumped into the wagon beside Hannah as if she needed a protector at her side. But it was too late to be protected from Pa’s latest folly.