38

On Sunday morning, Amy went to church with Brett, Dani, and the three children while Shelby stayed home with AJ. His burns were healing, but he tired easily. Shelby confided in Amy that he wasn’t ready to go out in public. He didn’t want to answer questions or repeat the details of what had happened. But most of all, he was having trouble alleviating the guilt he felt because he hadn’t been able to save Tess.

As Amy entered the sanctuary, Cassie welcomed her like a long-lost friend and stood close while others greeted her. Strengthened by Cassie’s presence, Amy smiled and shook hands and even endured a few hugs from strangers without falling apart.

Before the sermon, the elders prayed specifically for healing for AJ and Gabe. Though Tess had attended a different church, they honored her memory. Many of these people knew her as a loving friend and a good neighbor.

Amy sat stoically between Dani and Cassie, determined not to join the quiet sobbing that could be heard throughout the sanctuary. She’d cried too many tears over the past few days.

Then the elders prayed for Amy and Brett. As their words surrounded her, a peace unlike anything she’d ever felt before nestled in her heart. Gabe once said that God’s arms were always outstretched, like the father welcoming the return of his prodigal son. He’d also said that after a mess was a great time to get reacquainted with God.

Perhaps that time had come for her.

She bowed her head in a private prayer and heard those whispered words.

Be brave.

If only she knew how to be in the face of so much pain and tragedy. She knew she couldn’t unless God was with her.

The familiar voice murmured near Gabe’s ear, and he strained to decipher the words, to give a name to the speaker.

“. . . hear me, Gabe?” A long pause while Gabe blinked several times. “Come back to me, son.”

Dad.

Gabe stretched his dried lips, struggled to form the word past the ache in his throat. A moist sponge dampened his mouth, and he forced his eyes to stay open despite their heaviness.

“Hello, son.” Steve held the pink lollipop-sponge by its stick as if he wasn’t sure what to do with it.

His father was never ill-at-ease, never unsure of anything. This must be part of the same nightmare where Tess couldn’t breathe and horses screamed as flames scorched their flesh. Burnt his ears and his hands and . . .

“Dad,” he whispered, closing his eyes against the pain of remembering. Amy had come. She’d told him about the horses, about Tess. They had talked, but now he could barely say a word. His swollen throat, his drug-addled brain made it almost impossible to concentrate. To think.

“I’m here, son.”

Gabe’s eyes flickered open again as his dad’s fingers rested on his arm.

“I’m here. And I’m not going to leave you. I’m not going to—” His voice cracked.

“I didn’t save her.” The words emerged as separate breaths that took all of Gabe’s effort. “I failed you, sir.”

“No, Gabe. I’m the one who failed. I failed you and Tess both.” A heavy sigh filled the space between them. “If I’d been a better man, maybe this wouldn’t have happened. I don’t expect you to forgive me. All I ask is that you don’t give up. I can’t lose you, son.”

The pleading warmth of his dad’s words eased the clog in Gabe’s throat and somehow lessened the pain that tensed his body.

“You won’t, sir,” he whispered as he once again drifted to the place where pain couldn’t follow.

After the church service, the family gathered at AJ’s bungalow for a buffet lunch. The kitchen counter was filled with casseroles and other food provided by the neighbors. Amy put together a grilled chicken salad, joined the children at an outside table, and choked down each bite.

Despite the tremendous urge pulling her to the brink of her horrible abyss, she did not throw up.

Later that afternoon, she stood outside the ruins of the burnt-out stables and closed her eyes as the memory of the heat and the smells and the smoke assailed her. Ken Abbott, the fire investigator, had requested that she, Brett, and AJ meet with him to answer more questions.

“I didn’t even know you were here,” Amy said to Dani. “I don’t think I was aware of much that was going on around me except beating that blanket against the flames.”

“Shelby and I came as soon as we could,” Dani said. “But by then they were putting you in the ambulance and trying to get Brett to let them give him oxygen. He didn’t want to leave you.”

“That’s my big brother. Always overdoing it in the too-protective department.” Amy walked along the stable’s foundation, then stopped and kicked at a loose board. “Someone said Dr. Addison took Casper and Daisy to his place. How are they doing?”

“Both had a few burns, but they’ll be okay. He’s taking good care of them.”

“Tess would have appreciated that. I think she had a crush on him.”

“Jason said he’s pretty broken up.”

“Aren’t we all?”

When Abbott arrived with the county sheriff, they stood around him in a loose circle.

“We’ve read all your statements,” Abbott said. “But we thought it might be helpful to walk through what happened here at the scene.”

“Are all fires given this level of scrutiny?” Brett asked. “It’s not like any of us are responsible for what happened.”

“We like to be thorough,” Abbott replied, then turned to Amy. “Would you mind going first?”

“I suppose not.”

Brett touched her arm. “Are you sure you’re up for this?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“We do appreciate your cooperation,” Abbott said. “I know how hard this must be.”

She glared at him, then answered his questions as he slowly, painstakingly, took her through everything that had happened that day. Once they’d finished, she retreated to the paddock while he did the same with AJ and Brett. Abbott even questioned Shelby and Dani.

Amy had a hard enough time telling her own story. She couldn’t abide listening to their versions of the same horrid event.

As the men prepared to leave, Brett stopped them. “We’ve cooperated with you, answered all your questions,” he said. “I think it’s time you told us what’s really going on here.”

Abbott exchanged glances with the sheriff.

“How did the fire start?” Brett asked.

“I’m not at liberty to say.”

“But it wasn’t an accident,” Brett clarified.

“No.” Abbott looked from Brett to Amy. “It wasn’t.”

Amy gasped, barely able to comprehend the horrific ramifications of what Abbott was saying.

“Someone did this on purpose?” she finally sputtered.

Hot tears stung her eyes as seething anger bubbled inside her. Images of Gabe emerging from the barn, of AJ praying over Tess, of the screaming horses ricocheted around her brain. Her body felt about to explode into a multitude of individual particles—each one overflowing with raging sorrow.

Brett drew her into an embrace, and she hid her face in his shoulder while her body knit itself back together. For as long as she could remember, this had been her safe place. Her refuge from fighting parents, from chaos, from pain that made her want to shrivel away into nothingness.

She took deep calming breaths, willing the heat of her anger to cool enough for her to regain control.

Horses had died.

Tess had died.

Gabe and AJ could have died.

But why? Why would anyone do this awful, horrible thing?