In my tradition, the fundamental idea is that the community is not formed only by the living: community extends to the realm of the dead. Therefore, the whole notion of relationship with ancestors is inspired by a desire to be able to have an ongoing relationship with this world and the other.
—Malidoma Somé
Malidoma Somé, a shaman of the Dagara tribe of West Africa, emphasizes the presence of ancestors in our lives and our need for an ongoing connection with them. While in the West we have defined ancestors as our forebears, the Dagara definition is much broader. Malidoma clarifies this, saying that our ancestors include “those who have influenced us, assisted us as teachers, as role models, who have crossed over, but who are continuing to be there in our mind.” Therefore, they are not necessarily our blood relatives but may include people outside our families who have served us in some way.
I am aware of a host of ancestors who profoundly influenced my development throughout childhood and adulthood and into the present moment. Perhaps most memorable was my grandmother, who was my main source of nurturing in a troubled, sometimes violent, family. Other mother and father figures, teachers, mentors, and role models inspired, motivated, and guided me, and many, serving in the role of elder, blessed the gifts I brought into the world so that I might have the courage and confidence to express them.
Even now, in these increasingly uncertain times, our ancestors in the other world are available to support and protect us. It is never too late to cultivate a relationship with them. What if, instead of arguing against their existence, we simply opened ourselves to having a conversation with them? What if we asked for their guidance? What if their perspective in a world beyond this one could serve us as we navigate unprecedented challenges?
Who are your ancestors? What is your relationship with them? How might they be able to assist you? Are you willing to find out?