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On the outskirts of Ann Arbor Matt exited and Sady asked, "Aren't we going back to the office?"
"Morrow said you're to go straight to the Knight's home and start working," he told her. "He said you both need all the training you can get. And remind me to ask you about that 'pet' remark you let slip earlier." He dropped off two cranky women, planning to leave them after he unloaded Daria's luggage.
Harry came out to help with the bags and CJ was at his side, on her cell phone. She held up a finger for Matt to wait before leaving. "Morrow wants you here to help with the training." She smiled at the look on his face, then turned to greet the women.
Harry and CJ knew Daria Bennett through Sady's uncle, CIA Director Morrow. Although they left the business before Daria even started, their paths had crossed in Washington.
"I see why John sent you," Harry told Daria. "No offense, but sending you to an embassy event is like sending CJ." He shrugged at his wife and said, "You know it's true, CJ."
"Morrow just can't take the pressure when the headlines read, 'Government Agent Causes International Incident With A Table Fork'," she grumbled. "John has no sense of humor."
"Oh, you're the one who used the fork," Daria said in an admiring voice. "You'll have to tell me about it."
"I don't think he'd appreciate it," Matt warned. "You're supposed to be unlearning that type of behavior." The women turned, and he said, "I know. Shut up and carry the bags. Come on, Harry. We've been relegated to the role of jack-asses."
They took Daria's bags to the guest room. "Do you want to freshen up before we start?" Harry, always a polite host, asked her.
"Why? We just need to change into workout clothes," Daria said. "Let's get started, so I can get it over." She eyed Sady and said, "Just remember, we're supposed to be helping each other. I don't consider learning how to use super glue on my eyelids helpful."
"As long as you remember I don't like guns," Sady countered.
"That's the reason for the training," Matt reminded her. "If you'd learn to use one Morrow wouldn't be so worried about your personal safety, Sady."
"Hey, I have a legal permit to carry a concealed weapon," she defended herself.
"And you use it to carry that stun gun you've been illegally toting around for almost a year," he shot back.
Harry cleared his throat and Daria asked, "So that's how you make them stop?"
CJ snorted. "It's not always that easy. Let's go to the basement."
Sady was eager to see the Knight's basement. When Morrow approached them with the idea of cross training Sady and Daria, she learned the Knight's had a special basement. Sady was hoping for secret spy equipment and a lab. She grabbed Matt's arm and squeaked, "It's like getting to see inside the Bat Cave."
"No, that would be going to Amanda's apartment," he replied.
"Excuse me, Stubbles?" Amanda asked from her seat in the basement.
"What's she doing here?" Matt asked Harry with a scowl.
"Stubbles?" Daria questioned. "I'm sitting by her."
"We figured as long as Sady was getting some personal training, it wouldn't hurt to have Amanda learn a few pointers," CJ responded to Matt's question.
Amanda held up her hand. "Please, I don't need any pointers. I grew up in Detroit, and I can take care of myself."
"You weren't raised in the hood, Amanda," Matt scoffed. "Bloomfield Hills doesn't exactly have gangs roaming the streets."
"That doesn't mean I can't take care of myself," she told him. Turning to the Knight's she said, "I don't need this. That office of yours is gonna fall apart if I don't get back there."
"Is the answering machine on?" Matt asked Amanda. She nodded, and he continued, "Then I'd say the office is doing better than when you're there. I've heard how you answer the phone."
Amanda stood and placed her hands on her hips. She turned to Daria and said, "I'll stay if someone can get me to the stairs in three attempts or fewer. I'm walking out of here if I win." Daria agreed with a nod. Then Amanda turned and said, "I want him to be the one to get me to the stairs." She pointed at Matt.
Daria waved her hand at Matt. "It was your big mouth that got you into this mess. I'd like to see you try to get out of it the same way."
Matt sent a look of appeal to Harry and CJ. "She's the training boss," Harry said.
"Fine," Matt replied in a huff. He turned and approached Amanda, attempting to grab her arms and force her toward the stairs. He got part way when she quit struggling. He tugged her arm, and she dropped like an anchor to the floor, grabbing him and pulling him with her.
"Round one, Amanda," she announced, while he protested. She stood and before he got to his feet, she used her fingers to stab him in the throat. He fell to his knees, clasping his neck.
"What the hell was that?" he croaked. Then she pulled out her stun gun and dropped him, leaving him twitching on the basement floor. "Rounds two and three- Amanda," she said.
Everyone laughed but Matt. "I think he was supposed to be the aggressor," Daria said, "but I won't split hairs. You should learn how to use a gun."
Amanda poked Matt with her toe. "You hear that, Stubbles? We got a date at the firing range. I'll call and make arrangements as soon as I get back to the office. I hope you didn't park behind me or I'll have to move your truck. Maybe Sady will do it, so I don't have to bring the keys back in."
Sady jumped to her feet while Matt dug the keys out of his pocket and threw them to Harry. He slobbered something unintelligible, made a rude gesture at Amanda, and scowled at Daria. "You'd better work on that attitude or I'll be using that gun on you," Amanda warned as she sashayed across the room and up the stairs. Harry followed to move Matt's truck so she could leave.
Matt was still on the floor when Harry returned. "You ladies didn't help the poor man up?" he asked.
"He wouldn't let us touch him," Sady replied. "He keeps babbling about being tricked, seeing witches, and volunteering to donate himself to science."
Harry helped Matt to his feet and asked if he needed anything. "Booze," Matt responded. Harry laughed and pushed him to a chair.
"Enjoy the show," he suggested.
"Let's see what you know," Daria said, as she and Sady faced off on a mat after they changed into work out clothes.
"Give them both spears. I want to see some blood," Matt suggested. CJ hushed him and they watched Daria take Sady down in one move. Matt applauded, and CJ elbowed him in the ribs. He moved out of her reach. Daria dropped Sady, again and again. Soon they were both frustrated, and Sady was sore.
Daria had CJ stand in for Sady so she could observe the move. After she learned the mechanics, she watched CJ defend herself against it. Sady whispered to Harry, "Why can't we just watch them go at it? They're really good at this stuff."
"Too good," Harry agreed, interrupting the battle taking place. "Sady won't learn anything if she doesn't have some hands on training," he reminded them.
"Sorry," CJ said with a smile. "That was fun. I'm afraid I got carried away."
"Save it for the bedroom," Harry suggested with a leer at his wife.
"God, just bring Amanda back and let her end me," Matt begged. "Please!"
"Quit whining, Stubbles," Daria said. "After the way Amanda took you I think you could use a refresher course yourself. Get out here and face off against Sady."
"She doesn't have that Tazer hidden in her shoe, does she?" he asked suspiciously.
"Can I have my stick?" Sady asked.
"No," Matt replied. "Amanda used enough weapons to take out an army. This is hand to hand."
"I have an idea," Daria said. "Let Sady take you down, Matt. That way she can learn to attack as well as defend. You have to fall though. No defensive action, at least until she understands the move."
"Did you wake up today and decide to stick a note to my back that says 'Test Dummy'?" he scowled. "Why can't you take the fall?"
"You said it, not me," Daria replied. "And I'm the instructor." She helped Sady get into the right position, then she showed her how to drop Matt. He was mumbling unflattering things about women in general, and his co-workers in particular. Sady's next attempt needed only a little help from Daria. By the third try she took Matt off his feet on her own.
"Where are you going?" Sady asked him as he crawled away.
"I'm tagging Harry in," he groaned. "Tell Morrow this is combat pay, and he can bring it to me in my hospital room."
Good-natured Harry took his turn in the ring. By the end of the session Matt was complaining. "Harry, we need to watch some Rocky movies with a bottle of booze to reclaim our manhood."
CJ laughed. "Nice try, Matt. Harry doesn't need Rocky, booze, or you."
"I'm sorry I mentioned it," Matt grumbled.
"Okay, let's wrap this up," Daria suggested. "I could use a break soon. Sady, this time when you attack he's going to defend. Slow motion, Matt," she cautioned. Sady attacked and watched as Matt defended against her move.
"Switch places. Matt you attack and I'll help Sady defend." After a few practices Sady could defend herself against the move. Daria still took her down a couple times, but for the most part Sady stayed on her feet.
"Are we finished?" she asked from the floor. Daria overpowered her last defense. "Where's that 'Test Dummy' sticky note? Did someone put it on my forehead?"
"If there is, then just hand it over," Daria sighed. "Morrow made it clear the primary aim was my training, not yours."
"Now this is the show I've been waiting to see," Matt said.
"Wrong." Sady pushed him to the stairs. "Your services are no longer required, unless you want to learn how to capture a man's attention with your walk." Matt looked disgusted and left the basement.
"That's my cue to leave," CJ said with a grin. "Harry likes my walk as it is."
"I'll bring down some food," Harry said. "Uh... should I yell down and announce myself before I bring it down?"
"We're not doing a striptease, Harry," Sady replied. "It's safe and family friendly. Well, for the most part. I'll call it family friendly and man lethal."
"Right. Drop it and run," Harry said as he left the basement.
"I can't believe I'm doing this," Daria complained.
"Well, you have only about a week to prepare for the embassy event. But, my gut tells me this will be like working with CJ," Sady said with a sigh.
"Is that good or bad?"
"It all depends on the attitude," Sady responded.
"Then we're in trouble," Daria stated baldly. "Attitude is what I have, and it's usually bad."
Sady scratched her head. "Well, just try to remember any skills you learn will help you charm your enemies, so you can do your job and leave without arousing suspicion."
"I can manage that. Although, it would be easier to just rip out their throats," Daria mused.
"I'm pretty sure that's frowned upon in polite society," Sady laughed.
"You're not going to make me walk around with a book on my head, are you?" she asked Sady. "Because if so, you'll become an end note." Harry coughed as he set down a tray, and she asked him, "Do you find this funny?"
Harry shook his head. "I leave the stupidity to the younger men. My wife could kill me with her pinky. I have a healthy respect for anyone with those skills." He left the tray and told them to holler if they needed anything.
"Wow, where did he come from?" Daria asked as they ate. "Good looking, good manners, good food, and straight. Does he have any brothers?"
Sady laughed and shook her head. "Amanda would have staked her claim if he did. We're trying to convince him to give cloning a try," she joked. "Actually, Harry's a good, sweet guy and his world spins around CJ."
"Faithful, too? That man has got to be cloned," Daria replied.
"Do you have anyone special in your life?" Sady asked.
"Here's where I put my foot down and say we will not be BFF's, so let's skip the personal details. Oh, and I'm sorry if that was offensive. I've been told I need work on my social skills."
"I forget we come from different worlds," Sady admitted. "No offense taken. You don't survive on the beauty pageant circuit without thick skin." They finished eating, and Sady tried not to smile at the apprehension on Daria's face. She looked as enthused as a woman about to get her annual pap smear and mammogram.
Sady handed her a paper. "Is this a test?" Daria asked with a scowl. "I don't do written tests. Unless I can swipe the pen to use as a weapon. Then I'll pretend to take the test. Paper cuts aren't lethal, unfortunately."
"No tests," Sady assured her. "Uncle John wants you to play nice in polite society. It's more about how you present yourself, than your actions. Sady's survival rule number one- always smile with your whole face."
Daria looked at the list and frowned. "That's stupid. Are we in pre-school and learning all about our emotions?" She sighed and asked, "How's this?" She bared her teeth and Sady shook her head. Daria dropped the smile.
"I can tell from your eyes and brows that you're angry. Remember, I'm reading your whole face. Never let your true feelings show on your face, in your eyes, or in your body language. Even if you feel the need to strangle the second judge from the left, or trip the snotty girl in front of you." Sady smiled. "Now you try it... well, we'll work on it."
She continued. "More rules- never let unexpected circumstances distract you from your goal. One side of your undies is halfway up your butt cheek on your final walk before the judges? Ignore it, and smile."
"Never let other people's remarks get to you. The new girl with the pork loin butt said you have buck teeth. Remember, she still has the pork loin butt, so smile."
"Use what you have to get what you want... as you smile. If the judge is a leg man, show off your legs. If he likes cleavage, wear the padded bra. When your heel breaks during the swimsuit round, bend over to give the judges a good look at your cleavage as you take off your shoes, then turn around and bend over to collect the broken heel..."
"Yeah, I know. Do the hustle with a smile," Daria said sarcastically. "Does your uncle know about your little list of secrets? You beauty queens take subtle slut to the next level."
"Well, I didn't personally use that last one," Sady said hastily. "But I almost lost to a hussy who pulled that during a contest. Okay, smile again, and remember I'm looking for any sign that you aren't just another blonde bimbo."
Daria's brows went straight and Sady shook her head. "See? You took it personally and let it show. Again... well, if you could keep the icy look from your eyes, it would help. Let's try this- I'll smile and you insult me." Daria's face lit up, and Sady said, "That's the look! Now feel free to insult me."
Daria's insults started with indecent and descended to vulgar... then she got personal. Sady's smile never slipped. When they finished, she asked Daria if she'd like a cup of tea. Daria crumpled the paper and hurled it across the room.
"Maybe we should move on. Do you dance well?" Sady asked. "I'll take that look as a no. I'll let Harry give you lessons. I have a feeling you'll be a better dance student for him than me. However, if you unexpectedly find yourself in a dance you don't know, just hold your partner tight and let him drag you around. He'll soon tire and get you off the floor." Daria's fingers tapped with impatience.
"How do you feel about party clothes?" Sady asked.
"They're useless when you're trying to conceal a weapon. The only good use of spike heels is for attacking. I'd rather be in my running shoes, boots, or even barefoot," she told Sady. "Heels weren't made for running."
"If you have a situation that requires running, go for the wedge shoes, but not the platform wedges. They have more stability than spike heels. Kitten heels are a good choice since they aren't so high. The only downside is they won't make a good weapon. A chunky high heel makes it easier to keep your balance, but those are hard to pull off at a social event." Daria gave Sady a blank look.
"Field trip," Sady told her. "We're going to my place, because I know CJ has about as much knowledge of formal footwear as you. I can show you what to buy, and why."
They took the stairs to the main floor. "Hey, CJ. We're going to look at party clothes. Do you want to come along?" Sady teased with a grin. She turned to Daria. "CJ's eyes tell me her answer is no, and her body language says if I ask again I'll regret it. Now look at her smile- she's happy with her whole face... or she was. Hey, Matt, are you driving us home, or can we take your truck?"
"Don't analyze my look, Sady. The answer to that question is always the same, so don't tell everyone I'm crabby and uncooperative," he said.
"Notice the tense body language. If I wanted those keys, I would have gone about that differently. I'd have warmed him up and taken them," Sady told Daria with a wink at Matt.
Matt snorted and Daria said, "I believe she could. She got you out of a ticket didn't she?"
"Whose side are you on?" he asked.
"It depends who wins the most," Daria replied.
"Then you want to stick with Sady," Harry said with a straight face.
Matt shook his head. "Harry, I'm hurt at your betrayal."
"Just playing the odds, Matt. We're severely out-gunned in terms of lethal ability here."
Sady stuck out her tongue at Matt. "And that's why you get to be the chauffeur, and Harry gets to be the dance teacher."
"I'm a good dancer," Matt protested as they left the Knight's.
Daria popped her head back through the doorway. "If I survive this, Morrow's a dead man because I'm going to kill him with my thumbs." She slammed the door and followed Sady to Matt's truck.
Once they reached the tenth floor of their building, Matt commented, "I didn't forget about that slip at the airport, Sady."
"Matt, shut up and keep moving," Sady told him, as she invited Daria into her apartment. "Would you like something to drink?" she asked her guest. After seeing Daria's look, she continued, "Oh, Matt's the one to see for that kind of drink... or Amanda. But Matt's poison will put you under faster."
"Tell him to have a bottle cracked because I'm ready," Daria told her, as Sady took her to the bedroom and opened her closet.
"I didn't keep much from my pageant days, but I can show you the shoes. The classics never go out of style." She held up wedge shoes, kitten heels, and chunky heels pointing out the merits of running in them as opposed to a pair of stilettos. Daria's eyes got bright and Sady shook her head, "Not that kind of stiletto."
"Dresses." Sady pulled out a couple from her closet. "If the occasion calls for a long gown, make sure you get one with a slit way up the thigh so you can move freely. And not too much fabric. I saw a girl step on the excess fabric of her dress once, and she did a somersault right in front of the judges. She ended up sitting with her dress stuck over her head and her legs splayed. She'd made a poor choice in underwear that day. Those granny panties may have been comfortable, but they killed her reputation, and she didn't last long after that." Daria laughed at the mental picture.
"Short dresses are great for running, but just remember if you have to hike it for any reason you don't want to be commando under there. That will get you bounced from a competition, and unwanted attention anywhere else. And you realize Uncle John wants me to take you shopping, don't you?"
"He managed to leave that tiny detail out of our conversation," Daria replied tersely. "Can't you just go pick out what I'll need?"
"You have to try on everything for comfort and fit, or you won't stay focused," Sady warned.
"What I really want is a drink. Tell Meadows to send over the bottle. Or better yet if we're done with this torture session tell him to grab that bottle and drive me to the Knight's. Tonight I'll try dancing, and we can continue to probe this festering wound tomorrow." She grinned to let Sady know she wasn't mad.
As Daria left to knock at Matt's, Sady called, "Don't forget to practice that smile. I'm telling you it's the key to success... and that gesture is not. See you tomorrow."