| |
In the morning they stood outside the convention room where Babs held her school. "Daria, you have to at least pretend you don't want to kill her. Okay, if you could just erase the look of hostility from your face. How about just your eyes?" Sady sighed and continued, "Don't make eye contact, or we'll get fired. And both of you- don't get mad, but Babs is a snob. Which means you are consultants, and I'm an instructor."
"What's the difference?" Amanda demanded.
"In reality- nothing, except experience. Babs and I competed in the same events. Now, prepare to be offended, ladies."
Babs inspected Daria and Amanda with her microscopic scrutiny. Her eyes narrowed until Daria shook her hand. Then, they popped wide open, and she assured Daria her skills as an athletic adviser were welcome.
When Babs turned her attention to Amanda, Sady took the opportunity to say, "Daria, she did not call you an athletic supporter! Now, move along before she decides something is wrong with you."
Sady turned back, expecting an impending disaster. To her surprise, Babs and Amanda weren't clashing. "Amanda, we're so excited to have you as an instructor," Babs gushed.
Babs turned to gather the girls while Sady lifted a brow at Amanda. "She did her homework before she arrived. She tried to recruit my niece, Alicia, for her program," Amanda explained. Sady understood- Amanda came from money, and Babs loved to make friends with anyone who had money connections.
After introductions, Babs split the girls into groups and sent them where she thought they needed the most help. She taught the class on overall presentation and deportment. She had another woman working with the girls she felt needed attention in the hair and makeup department. Daria got the group of girls considered out of shape, Amanda's group had attitude issues, and Sady's group had no special talents.
At lunch, Babs grabbed Sady by the arm and pulled her aside. "You need to tell your athletic friend we can't set up a military style obstacle course for these girls. If I try to make them run through offset tires and climb a wall with a rope, they will quit. We can't have that, so she needs to come up with something so the parents feel they are getting their money's worth, without too much complaint from the girls. Or, I'll have to sack her iron butt. Understand?"
Not surprised, Sady nodded and asked, "How's Amanda doing?"
Bab's brow furrowed, and she pasted on a smile. "Just great," she lied. "The girls are coming along. Although, you might need to let her know that the rule of two negatives equaling a positive... it doesn't work when it comes to attitude. Those girls look ready to march in a picket line. That's not what their folks are hoping to see. How's your group coming?"
"Do you mind if I make a suggestion?" Sady asked. Without waiting for a response, she continued, "Good. You might want to ban cell phones, texting, sexting, social media, ear buds, iPods, iTunes, and the like if you want them to learn anything. These girls have no focus beyond their digital devices." Babs promised to think about it, which meant no.
Sady shrugged. She'd give the girls batons and teach them to twirl. With any luck, they would no longer be here when the girls realized how to weaponize them. Daria nearly blew up when she found she wouldn't get training equipment. "Some of those girls can't do a single sit-up," she said. "How are they going to look in a bathing suit?"
"We don't have to worry about that," Sady assured her. "From what I can see Babs snagged the only girls who might have a shot at qualifying for a contest. Let's just try to keep the rest happy and out of trouble."
"What am I supposed to do with them?" Daria asked. "I am not doing jumping jacks, Sady. And they are in no condition to run a few miles. What's left?"
"Not much. I'm giving my girls batons, because the basic spin isn't hard to learn. I'll get batons for your group, and we'll put them together. I'll teach twirling, and you can teach self-defense."
"Good, maybe they'll kill each other," Daria suggested. "Go ahead and add batons to my list of humiliating experiences."
"Wait until we dress for the embassy event," Sady warned. "How do you feel about padded bras?"
"Uncomfortable, but they make good weapons," Daria said, to Sady's surprise. "You can use the under-wires to pierce major blood vessels or an eardrum. I've blinded a few people with them, as well. And the padding is good for a gag, temporary or permanent. Although, usually it's permanent because even if you try to dig it out, it ends up getting stuffed farther down the throat."
"Maybe you should teach an alternative use of common items class," Sady joked. "I'll speak to Babs about the batons and meet up with you after lunch."
Sady then talked to Amanda. "Tone it down, will you?" she asked.
"I can turn these girls into leaders," Amanda said. "I'd be holding them back if I didn't help them channel that attitude."
"Well, lower the channel volume," Sady suggested. "Why don't you see if they can be creative without speech?"
"Freedom of speech is a constitutional guarantee," Amanda reminded her.
"How would you like to bring your girls over for the baton twirling, self-defense class?" Sady offered.
"You aren't going to smother their first amendment rights, are you?"
"I wouldn't think of it," Sady promised as she rubbed her forehead. How would she keep twelve girls with attitudes, batons, and the wrong sort of teachers from killing each other?
Somehow, they made it through the afternoon. Mostly because Daria got disgusted and went to the hotel gym to work off some stress. Sady helped the girls learn to twirl, and Amanda composed a chant for them to recite as they worked the batons. Sady left the girls on their own for a minute to listen to Amanda's masterpiece:
––––––––
"Throw that stick,
Up in the air,
Then wrap it 'round,
Your neighbor's hair.
Use that bat,
And give a poke.
Make them eat it,
Make them choke.
Hit them high,
Then hit them low.
When they get up,
Give one more blow.
We will rock,
And we will roll,
Until the blood,
Begins to flow."
––––––––
"That's not quite appropriate, Amanda, let alone going to fly with Babs. I think you need to edit, and make it more family friendly," Sady sighed.
Amanda glared and made a comment about her freedom of expression. Sady didn't hear the rest of her remark because of the uproar coming from their group of girls. Daria had returned and was instructing the girls how to use the batons as weapons. Sady tried to stop them before someone got a black eye or worse. Too late- it was the most interest any of them had shown in the program, and they weren't about to stop now.
Babs rushed over, looking like she would have an aneurysm. She grabbed Sady's arm and asked what happened with their little talk. Amanda used the opportunity to recite her questionable chant to the girls. Of course, they immediately remembered it, word for word. Babs turned at the words,ready to faint. The girls looked like a small army of out-of-control rioters, with Daria and Amanda encouraging them. Babs stuttered the dismissal of class, and Sady ran out of the conference room... right into the chest of the police officer from the airport. Uh, oh!
"Well, Barbara, there you are. I thought maybe you were trying to ditch me. You didn't return my phone calls, so I came by to see you. You weren't trying to give me the slip, were you?" He grabbed her arms to keep her upright, but eyed her with suspicion.
She realized he must have never met the real Barbara-Jean, but if she didn't move him soon, the chances of that happening would be past her comfort level. Sady smiled at the officer and said, "Of course not! In fact, I was just thinking it would be nice to take you out to eat." She grabbed his arm and pulled him toward the hotel restaurant. With any luck, Babs didn't see her slip inside.
Her officer wasn't wearing his uniform, and she couldn't remember his name. But, he didn't seem to notice she didn't use it during their meal. He hinted that he'd like to come to her room after they finished. "Well, that's not really a good idea," she said. "I... have room mates! In fact, I need to text them and let them know where I am."
"Oh, a party girl? That sounds even better." He hesitated, then asked, "It's not the two from the airport is it? Because I'm not really into partying with other men, if you know what I mean. The blonde was hot though."
"Sorry, you're out of luck then," Sady lied. "Maybe another time." He looked disappointed as Sady charged the meal to her room. She thought she was off the hook until she heard Babs' loud voice carry across the restaurant. Great! Sady looked around and saw her seated near the entrance. There was no way she'd be able to sneak past without getting caught.
The officer waited expectantly for Sady to get up and leave the restaurant. She nudged him and said, "Listen, if someone happens to call me by another name- like Sady, or Sandy-Sue, just act like it's my real name, okay?"
"Role play?" he asked. "That sounds fun. You're a wild one, aren't you?"
"We're going to find out," she muttered as they headed for the exit. Sure enough, Babs spotted her and her companion.
"Well, Sandy-Sue! I see why you were in such a rush to leave." Babs eyed the officer like a dessert item. "My name is Babs," she said after Sady didn't introduce them.
"Ha, ha. You girls are funny. Babs and Barbara and Sandy-Sue. You're running a little kink fest aren't you?" he asked with a wink. Babs recoiled in disgust, and Sady pushed him to the exit. "When can we get together?" he asked Sady, once they were outside the restaurant. "Is Babs one of your roommates?"
"No, she's got her own room. And sorry, but my schedule is full," Sady told him. "I probably won't be able to see you for at least a week." They'd be out of the hotel and finished with the Washington job by that time.
"Well, Barbara, this will have to last me until next week then." He pushed Sady into an alcove and pulled her close. His mouth was all over, and he gave her a kiss that left her struggling for air. Sady smiled as she tried not to wipe her mouth. Did he really think women wanted a tongue jammed down their throat on the first date? Sady appreciated a good kiss as much as any woman, but they'd only known each other less than one hour. She wasn't that appreciative. She jumped out of the alcove and attached herself to a group of senior women walking past.
"See you next week," she waved, following the women into the elevator. She wiped her mouth in the elevator. "Blech," she said. She got out on her floor and fled to the suite.
"We were about to mount a rescue operation," Amanda said with her hands on her hips. "And where were you when the wrath of Babs fell upon us like a hailstorm? Were you really at the restaurant with a cop?"
Daria laughed. "I bet you forgot about that little detail, didn't you?"
"Just get me something alcoholic, so I can wash that guy out of my mouth," Sady said.
Amanda's eyes narrowed. "Are you stepping out on blue eyes? Do I need to call him and tell him to get down here?"
"Amanda, I don't care if all we have is bleach- I'll use it. Does that answer your question?" Sady shuddered with disgust.
"Just looking out for my guys," she said. "No need to get huffy about it."
Daria handed Sady something from the min-bar. "Hang on while I go gargle with this," Sady said.
Amanda's brows rose as she looked at Daria. "Gargle? That wasn't just a regular kiss. Stubbles had better look sharp, or he's gonna be out of a woman." Sady returned, wiping her mouth.
When someone knocked on the door, they all looked at each other. "Did you order room service?" Sady asked. They shook their heads and Amanda whispered, "Do you think it's Babs?" The knocking got louder and Sady looked out the peep ole.
"It's the cop," she hissed. "What are we going to do?"
"Open up, Barbara! I changed my mind, and your party is my party." He was yelling in the hallway. "Come on, baby! I know you're crazy, so let's have some fun. I hope your friends will join us."
"What did you tell him?" Daria asked.
"Nothing! I mentioned roommates, and he assumed we were a threesome, I guess."
He grew louder and Daria had enough. She stood by the door and told Sady, "Let him in."
Sady opened the door, and he rushed in with a case of beer. "This is more like it! I'm glad you dumped the guy," he said when he saw Daria and Amanda in the room. He gave them a once over that had Amanda smoldering, and Daria growling. He made the mistake of saying to Daria, "You're a little firecracker! How about a show?"
The case of beer hit the floor and seconds later he followed. Daria moved quickly. "How's that for a show?" she asked.
"Did you kill him?" Sady whispered. The derisive look and snort she received answered her question. "Well, what are we going to do with him? We can't have him wandering around the hotel with the real Barbara-Jean on the loose."
"Shove him into the hall, call room service, and tell them to take out the trash," Amanda suggested, helping herself to a beer.
"Where's the hotel maintenance and laundry rooms?" Daria asked. "I can make him disappear with the right chemicals. The tub's big enough, but we won't be able to use it until he's finished cooking." The room was silent, and she said sarcastically, "Oh, I suppose you have laws against that in this state."
"I'm certain that's illegal in all the states," Sady replied.
"We could leave him propped in the hall outside Babs' room," Amanda suggested.
"What part of 'he's a cop' do you not understand?" Sady asked. "Because we've already skated over the line of strictly legal. At least, Daria has. If he wakes up there, you know who he's going to arrest... it won't be Babs."
Daria glared and said, "Just for that, we're using your room."
"My room? For what?" Sady asked suspiciously.
"Hey, he came for a good time. When he wakes up, he'll think he had one. Or, at least he won't admit to not remembering," Daria said. She dug around in the small backpack she carried and waved a bottle of pills. Sady closed her eyes, and Daria said, "Would you prefer the syringe method, because I have that as well?"
"Don't tell me, because I don't want to know," Sady said.
"Well, help me get him to your room and I'll take it from there," Daria said. Sady removed her items from the room, and fifteen minutes later Daria was alone with the cop. After five minutes, she came out of the bedroom and said, "He's out for now, but I need a few party supplies. I'm running to the store across the street."
While Daria shopped, Sady took a phone call from Babs. When she disconnected, Sady turned to Amanda and said, "You've got to change that little jingle you made up for the girls, or Babs is going to fire us."
Amanda narrowed her eyes and muttered under her breath. Then she said, "Fine, I'll change it." She went to the desk and sat to work on her new rhyme. She refused to let Sady watch. "You can hear it in the morning, along with everyone else," she said.
Daria came back to the room with two bags of mystery items. She waved the bags and asked, "Who's up for a little fun?" Amanda jumped to her feet, and Sady followed with a smile. She was horrified at the items Daria pulled from the bag, but Amanda and Daria seemed to enjoy themselves. A few minutes later Sady left with, "This is a little too much like beauty contest hazing. Just don't kill him, okay?"
Eventually, Daria returned without her plastic bags. "Did you suffocate him, Daria? Because even Morrow won't be able to help you if you did," Sady warned.
"He'll be just fine. Or mostly fine, once the shock wears off," Daria assured her. "Don't worry. I'll let him loose in the morning."
"Just don't forget," Sady said. "By the way, you can't allow the girls to use the batons as weapons, or Babs will fire us. Can't you organize them to march or do something less lethal? Okay, then how about if you join me for a beer?" she sighed, getting ready to settle on the couch for the night. That was the first smile she received from Daria since the cop had entered into the room.
Sady looked around. "Where's Amanda?" she asked.
Daria waved her beer and said, "She's in the bathroom."