| |
"Just grab that bat,
And spank your tush.
Then snap it back,
With a big push.
Go shake it, girls,
'Cuz it ain't broke,
Let's make those boys,
Go up in smoke.
So spin it, sluts,
And then we'll rap.
'Cuz we don't take,
Nobody's crap.
Hey, we're the bomb,
Haven't you heard?
If you don't like it,
Here's my bird."
––––––––
Babs grew more disturbed by the syllable, and Sady realized she should have insisted Amanda debut her new poem before class started. Daria had the girls marching, but not in a formation Sady had ever seen. It looked like evasive maneuvers training. Before Babs could fire them, a hotel employee approached Sady and directed her to a phone. Sady took the call, then grabbed Daria by the arm when she finished.
"That was hotel security. They want to know why there's a man tied to one of the beds in our suite. Apparently, the maid found him when she went in to clean. He's probably calling 800-SUE-YOURASS right now... because he was naked! How did that happen?"
"You probably don't want to know," Daria told her.
"And you told me you were going to free him this morning," Sady said. "Again, what happened?"
"I forgot," Daria replied.
"No, you didn't," Sady accused. "You don't forget things like that. You did it on purpose, didn't you?"
"I might have hoped he would be slightly humiliated," she said, trying not to smile.
"Define slightly," Sady insisted. "Because when I left the room things weren't that bad!"
"Okay- tied to the bed, a half dozen granny panties thrown around the room, and a couple dozen empty beer cans. I threw our empty cans into the room, along with a few others I poured down the drain. A few feather pillows slashed and tossed. He might have some honey drizzled on his..."
Sady shook her head and slapped her hands over her ears. "I'm too young to hear this," she said.
Their cell phones buzzed at the same time. Sady looked at the number on hers- CJ. Daria held up her phone- Morrow. Sady answered, and CJ asked, "Having a good time, are we?"
"Not particularly," Sady replied.
"That's not what we heard," Harry said. "CJ has you on speaker."
"Why are you calling?" Sady asked. At the office Harry, CJ, and Matt smiled. They could hear the exasperation in her voice.
"We're your emergency contact, remember? And, according to hotel security you have an emergency on your hands," CJ replied.
"No, I don't. Daria does. Here, you can talk to her." Sady traded phones with Daria and said, "Your turn," while she greeted to her uncle.
"What are you ladies doing?" John asked. "Never mind! I don't want the answer to that. Why... never mind that either. Put the delinquent blonde back on, will you?" Sady could hear him grumbling that he couldn't send Daria anywhere without a disaster occurring.
"It was Sady's bed," Daria told Harry and CJ. Sady's mouth dropped, and she grabbed the phone and turned on the speaker.
"It was Daria's idea," she yelled.
"But he was Sady's guest." Daria tossed it back like a live grenade.
"You did know he was a cop, didn't you?" CJ asked. "Before you tied him to the bed,and had a panty party with feathers?"
"It was the cop from the airport," Sady told them defensively.
Matt's voice said, "Really, Sady? You had a naked cop tied to your bed?"
"Hey, it was your ticket," she complained. "I had nothing to do with the beer, the feathers, the honey, or the panties! And as far as naked?" She turned and yelled, "Amanda! Get over here! How did that cop end up with no clothes?"
"I was just checking the engine under the hood, that's all," Amanda said defensively. Then she snorted, and said, "He's running on a four-cylinder, at best."
"Miss Babs, what's a four-cylinder?" one of the girls asked.
Babs' countenance alternated between red and white. Purple eventually carried the day, but that was after she sent the girls back to their batons and they recited Amanda's updated chant.
Sady took her phone off speaker and told her uncle, "We may have a slight situation here. I think we lost our jobs." She heard him sigh, and he disconnected.
Daria glared at the phone she held and hung up on the office. She grabbed Sady and said, "We need to have a little chat with what's his name."
As she pulled Sady to the door, Babs yelled, "You're fired."
"Well, thank God for that," Daria snapped, while Amanda got in Babs' face.
"Oh, you did not just say that," Amanda told Babs. "After your unlawful censorship and violation of my rights, you're lucky I don't sue you. I don't know if I can talk the others into staying after this, so I'll get back to you." She blew out of the room, leaving Babs with an open mouth and no words.
Amanda caught up to Sady and Daria in their suite. Hotel security stood in the hall, and the door to Sady's bedroom was closed. Sady paced outside the room and tried to ignore the sounds coming from the other side of the door. Amanda put her ear to the door and grinned.
Less than five minutes later the cop stood in the hall, wearing a towel and feathers, insisting he was fine and that what took place in the room was consensual. "How about that black eye?" one of the security guards asked.
"Pillow fight."
"That cut on your lip?"
"The girls are hard kissers."
"The broken fingers?"
"I got those caught in the door."
"The bruises?"
"They play rough."
"Buddy, do you even want to register a complaint?" Everyone looked at Daria as she examined her short fingernails.
"No. I just want to get out of here and forget this ever happened." The cop ran, and Daria smiled at Sady. Sady gave her a thumbs up, then Daria turned her look to ice and scared the security guards from the hall.
As they left, the women could hear them talking. "Do you think he really had a wild night?"
"I wouldn't doubt it. The hot one rocking the full figure told me they are sisters. How do you suppose that happened?"
"I don't know, but I wouldn't ask the blonde. She has anger issues. I heard she turned the beauty school into a martial arts program for the military."
"Too bad the cop didn't enroll." They laughed as they disappeared into the elevator.
"I guess we're out of a job," Sady told the others after she got off the phone with her uncle less than an hour later. "No amount of money, threats, or bribes would convince Babs to keep us on staff." Amanda looked offended, and Daria looked relieved.
"You might not be so happy when you hear the alternative plan," Sady told them. "We're getting sent to Washington and put up at a safe house."
"Is that like a luxury hotel?" Amanda asked. "Because, this place isn't what I had in mind when I signed on for this job. It's nice enough, but not quite enough... if you know what I mean."
"Don't confuse safe with clean," Daria warned her. "The last place I stayed hadn't been cleaned from the previous occupants, obviously all men. And it wasn't a nice house to begin with."
"Well, somebody needs to tell Uncle Sam I don't do the $9.99 a night motel rooms," Amanda said.
"I don't think you're doing rooms, period," Daria said with a slight frown. "You're not part of the plan."
"We'll find out soon enough," Sady said. "Uncle John is having a car pick us up to drive us to Ann Arbor. I think we should vacate these rooms before the cop changes his mind, or Babs comes looking for us."
They waited in the restaurant until the car arrived to escort them to Ann Arbor. The driver dropped them at the Knight's, instead of the office. "Safety precaution," he said as he opened the door for them.
"And our three ladies return, doing the walk of shame," Matt announced as they entered the Knight's house. "Did you get pictures?" He jumped out of the way when Daria passed him.
"No, but I gave the cop your real information," Sady told him. "I felt bad for what happened and figured that would be the best way to make it up to him. He'll at least get credit for the parking ticket he's sending in the mail."
Matt's brows dropped, and he said, "That's all you could come up with? Why didn't you offer him another date?"
"I already prostituted Babs for you and look how that ended," Sady said. "I draw the line after a guy kisses like that on first date."
"Uh, oh," CJ whispered to Harry. "Someone didn't like that remark."
Matt's brows dropped even further. "Then why didn't you offer Amanda or Daria on the altar of bad dates?"
"Because you'd be up on murder charges," Sady told him. "Oh, and I was just joking about the ticket," she snickered.
"Were you joking about the kiss, too?" he asked.
He looked thunderous when Amanda grabbed his arm and said, "About that kiss... You'd better pick up your game or you'll be sent back to the minors."
He sent a cross look to Amanda and Sady. "So which was it- good or bad?"
"That depends on who you ask," Daria joked.
"It's not funny," he argued, when the women laughed. "Harry, I'll be in the kitchen with your booze and looking for a war movie on your TV."
"No, you won't," CJ told him. "All hands on deck. We have to get Daria and Sady ready to ship to DC."
"Get them a two-seater broom," he suggested. "Or a hot-air balloon. I'm sure they can fill it."
"Two-seater, Stubbles?" Amanda asked with one brow raised. "I don't think so. After all my hard work and sacrifice, I'm not getting left out of the action."
"Someone alert NASA, and the FAA," he warned.
CJ looked at Harry with a smirk. "Guess who gets to call John?" she asked. Harry called her Candy Jane to make her mad, then he called Morrow. After several minutes of fruitless arguing he handed the phone to Amanda, who had the matter settled in less than five minutes.
"You just need to know how to handle him," Amanda told them.
"I think the handling is what has him worried," Sady whispered to Daria.
"We leave tomorrow," Amanda told Sady and Daria. "I told him to make sure the accommodations are suitable, or he'll hear me."
"Well, let's get packed," CJ told them. "We're going along for security. Once you ladies are in the embassy, you're on your own."
***
"Do you have enough luggage, Amanda?" Matt asked scornfully, as he eyed the pile at the airport the next morning.
"Always be prepared," she said with a sniff.
"I hope there's room for us. Between you three women I bet the plane has weight problems," he told them. Daria reached for his throat and he jumped. "I meant because of the luggage," he added with a grin. "And I'm sitting by Harry, for safety."
"Wrong again," CJ shook her head. "And we're not here to provide you with security, Meadows. So, you might want to watch your mouth. Right now, you're expendable."
"And the next safest seat choice is next to Sandy-Sue," he continued.
"Not after you implied I'm heavy. Besides, I'm sitting in front of Daria and Amanda," she said with narrowed eyes.
"Okay, moving on. Will they let me ride in the bathroom for the whole trip?" he wondered.
"You can try," Daria warned. "But, that puts you in a vulnerable position for easy disposal."
Matt contemplated sitting with Amanda, but the look in her eye told him he might as well try the baggage hold. "Like I said, sitting by the beautiful Sady Morrow is always a pleasure," he said with a sideways look at Sady.
"That's not what you said, but since you didn't mention I'm the desperation option, you can have the window seat," Sady said.
"I don't want the window seat," he complained. "I want the aisle seat for the leg room."
"I know. And that's why you get the window seat," she replied. "Of course, you're free to change seats if you don't like it."
He gave her a wicked little grin. "I'll get used to it," he promised. Once settled, he said, "This reminds me of that bus trip to Sinful." He pressed his legs close to hers. "That was a tight fit as well, remember?"
"I remember taking your phone while you slept. And the big woman with the big bag," she grinned. "You got two head hits, didn't you?"
"I recall that you climbed over me a time or two," he teased. "Ah, the good old days, when you didn't have an ounce of shame and weren't afraid to use your charms to get your way."
"What makes you think I've changed?" she asked teasingly.
"I guess I'll have to find out," he replied, with his blue eyes twinkling.