28

By a quarter to five Saturday morning, Kelli was staring out her front window, looking for any sign of Kenmore. It wasn’t so much because she was excited to sit on the side of a pond and fish, but because she hoped it would be the perfect chance for some deeper conversation.

Headlights appeared in the distance, and she watched them approach with growing anticipation. Today was going to be a good day, she just knew it. She hurried out to meet the truck, carrying a water bottle in one hand and a couple of granola bars in the other. She pulled open the passenger door. “I brought you a granola bar too, in case . . .” It took the time for the door to come full open before she realized what she was seeing. More like, who she was seeing.

Shane. Sitting right there in the passenger seat.

Kenmore said, “Shane got a hankering to do some fishing this morning, so I guess there’s going to be a third.”

Kelli fought the urge to turn around and run back to the house. She simply stood there, absorbing this information, as Shane scooted toward the center of the seat. “I’d get out and let you in first, but believe me, it’s much more comfortable on the end.” Considering the way his knees were crammed up against the dashboard, Kelli did not doubt the truth of that.

“Should I . . . go get a granola bar for you, too?”

“Nope”—Kenmore leaned forward to look around his son—“just hop in. I always stop at Hardee’s for a sausage biscuit on my way out of town. Now, let’s get moving while the fish are still biting.”

Kelli climbed in beside Shane. The truck was small enough that her shoulder was jammed up against his on one side, and her hip was shoved against the door handle on the other. What had she just gotten herself into? His being here was going to ruin everything.

“How’s Beth doing?” Kenmore asked as he pulled out of the driveway.

“She seems to feel fine. She’s going stir-crazy though, as I’m sure you can imagine.”

Kenmore snorted. “Poor Rand. He’s going to have his hands full, and his ears full too, by the time that girl is up and around again.”

At Hardee’s, Kenmore and Shane each ordered sausage biscuits, and Kelli got a chicken biscuit. She took a bite and blurted out, “This is delicious.”

“You say that as if you’re surprised,” Shane said.

“Yes, I guess I am. I’ve never had a fast-food breakfast before. I just assumed it would taste more bland.”

“You’ve never had a fast-food breakfast?” Shane was all-out staring at her now.

“My stepmother was always watching her weight, and my father enjoyed cooking his own breakfast. It was part of his morning routine.”

“What did he make?” Shane took another bite of his biscuit.

“Depended. Sometimes pancakes, sometimes scrambled eggs and bacon. He even made his own biscuits from scratch, which were delicious.” Memories of tastes and smells flooded back to her, making her homesick for what she used to have. Or at least, what she’d thought she had.

Half an hour later, the three of them had opened a rural gate, driven through it, and then locked it behind them. “Are we breaking and entering?” Kelli asked, only half kidding.

Kenmore smiled. “The fishing in this pond is good enough that it would be worth facing jail time, but no, this property belongs to a friend of mine. There’s about ten of us who have a key and permission to come fish whenever we like.” He parked the truck and pulled three rods out of the back, along with a Styrofoam bucket with air holes in it.

Kelli looked at it. “Night crawlers, huh? Somehow I had you figured for more a spoon type guy.”

“You know lures?”

“My father used to take me fishing some.”

“I thought lures might be too complicated for your first outing. Little did I know I was dealing with an experienced fisherwoman.”

“I’m not that experienced, but I can bait my own hook.”

“Thank goodness for that,” Shane said.

They walked through a wooded area and came to a large pond. It was surrounded by lush grass and tall trees, with a steep wooded hillside running up the far bank. It was absolutely stunning. “This place is so beautiful.”

“Yeah.” Kenmore nodded. “One of the reasons I chose this place is because you told me you were looking for inspiration for your jewelry. I thought this place as about as inspiring as it comes.”

“You make jewelry?” Shane looked down at her bracelet, the only piece of jewelry she was wearing. Thankfully, it was one she had made. She held it up for him to inspect. “Yes. Just a hobby, really, but who knows, someday it might be more. Everything I’ve made up until now has been inspired by the ocean.” The bracelet she was wearing was braided nautical rope with freshwater pearls woven in.

He took her wrist in his hand and turned it over. “I have to say, I’m impressed.”

Who knew Shane could even be impressed? “Thanks.”

“If you’d like, you’d be welcome to put some of your pieces in the display case at the front of the store. We’re not exactly a jewelry store, but it’d be worth a try.”

“Not exactly a jewelry store?” Shane snorted and shook his head. “Now that’s an understatement.”

Kelli looked at Kenmore, purposely ignoring Shane. “What a good idea. Thanks. Maybe I will.”

“I still don’t know why you decided to come this morning.” Kenmore glanced at Shane, then back at Kelli. “He’s never been much for fishing, and not once in his life has he ever been accused of being a morning person.”

Shane busied himself setting up three chairs at the pond’s edge, ignoring the question altogether. Kelli knew why he wanted to come today, and it had nothing to do with fishing and everything to do with trying to uncover her secrets. His presence would completely destroy any hope she had of having a meaningful conversation with Kenmore.

Three hours later, Kenmore had caught six bass, Kelli three, and Shane one. Shane had spent most of the time looking at his phone and complaining about the lack of a cell signal.

“We’re fishing. You don’t need a phone for that.” Kenmore didn’t bother to look toward his son as he said it.

“Yeah, but I’ve got a showing this afternoon.” He stood up. “I’m going to walk back toward the truck and see if I can find a signal anywhere.”

Shane disappeared through the woods. Kelli listened until the sound of his footsteps crackling in the leaves was too far away to hear. Now was her only chance, and she knew it. “How long ago did you say you left the financial world?”

“Long time.” He pulled in his hook to find it empty. “Thought I felt something down there messing with this.” He pulled another night crawler out of the bucket.

“And you said it was just you and a partner? Is that right?”

“Yep.” He cast his line toward the left bank.

“What was he like?”

Kenmore didn’t say anything for so long, Kelli thought maybe she should repeat the question. She was just beginning to seriously consider it when he turned toward her. “You going to tell them?”

Kelli’s mouth went dry. “Tell who?”

“Alison and Beth, you know who. Are you going to tell them?”

“I don’t know what—” Kelli stopped the lie before it came out. “How did you know?”

“Can’t quite put my finger on the exact moment I knew for sure. That first day you came in, I took one look at you and thought you resembled David. Then you told me you were from California, and I knew that was a place he’d always been interested in, so it made sense that he might have gone there.”

“If you recognize me, how is it that Alison doesn’t?”

“She thinks you’re dead. I’m sure she’s thought there was a resemblance, but she wouldn’t have taken the thought any further than that.”

“And all this time, you’ve known that my father and I were still alive?”

“Not for sure, but I’ve always suspected it. David was my business partner. For over a year before the . . . um . . . accident, I knew that he’d been seeing a waitress from the old diner downtown. I also knew that he’d started stowing money away someplace. I didn’t know where or why, but I knew he was moving funds around. Frankly, I assumed he was funneling it to his girlfriend so she could get a nicer apartment or something. Then she left town, and just a few weeks later he had this mysterious accident. I knew it, I knew the moment I heard the news report. I thought, ‘He’s gone and done it. Left everything behind and started a new life.’”

“Why didn’t you tell anyone what you thought?”

Kenmore rubbed the back of his neck. “I did consider it, but I figured what was the use? I thought it would be better for Alison to believe that her husband had died, and better for Beth and Max, too. It seemed to me to be the kinder thing than for them to know what lengths he had gone to so he could dump them.”

“Then you’ve answered the question for me, haven’t you? The kinder thing is to keep them in the dark. That was my original plan, to just come here for a few days, meet them, and then get on with my life. But the more I’ve gotten to know them, well . . . my plan is to stay through the summer, help Beth while she’s bed-bound, and see if I can’t do something to help Alison in some way before I leave. Something that can help make up for what he did.”

He looked over his shoulder, then leaned closer to her and lowered his voice. “Your father, he was killed in a car accident before you came here, right?”

“Yes. And I know what you’re asking, and yes, he definitely died this time. He didn’t pull another disappearing act.”

“That wasn’t what I was thinking, but it’s a good point. What I was wondering is if it wouldn’t be a better thing for Alison now, years after she’s worked through all the grief, to get her baby back. Yes, I think she would be devastated to know what David did, but I also think she would be thrilled to have her Darcy back. Especially since she puts such a high store in you already. And I’m gathering that Beth loves you to pieces.”

“Yes, but she also has memories of her father. In her mind, he is this flawless man who was never anything but the perfect father in every way. If she were to find out that he actually ran off and left her, I think it would be devastating.”

“Perhaps.”

“And we haven’t even talked about the insurance money. I’m afraid that when the insurance companies find out they’ve paid out on my father twice, they’ll come looking for some reimbursement, and we both know they would look right at Alison. I’ve already invested my entire payment into a restaurant that’s opening in the fall, so it’s not like I could give her my share. There is no way I could get that money back without financially ruining my friends.”

“You might be right about that one. I’m sure we could ask Shane to look into it, since he knows a fair amount about insurance.”

“You can’t tell him.”

Kenmore looked at her long and hard. “That’s up to you.”

Kelli leaned forward, putting her head between her knees. “I think it’s better for everyone if I just go away at the end of the summer, with no one but you and me the wiser. I’ll at least have memories of what my mother and sister are like, and they’ll still have their happy memories of my father without knowing what a . . .” As much as she knew that most any word she inserted here had been proven true, Kelli still couldn’t bring herself to say anything terrible about him. “Well, that he wasn’t the man they all thought he was.”

“It’s a pretty pickle you find yourself in, that’s for sure.”

“Kenmore, why do you think he took me?”

“He loved you kids. He was always complaining that it was useless to be a father if he never had time to spend with his children. Between work and his mother and all his other obligations, he felt like he was missing everything about your growing up. Beth and Max were both too old for it to work, but you . . . with you he could start over and do it right.”

“I’m not sure I’d call what he did ‘doing it right,’ but I understand what you mean.” She paused, working up her nerve for the next question. “Were he and Alison planning to get divorced before everything happened?”

“Never came up, to my knowledge.”

“My grand— Suze’s mother gave me some of her old letters. She was under the impression they were getting divorced.”

“Sounds like a married man telling his girlfriend what he thinks she wants to hear.”

“That’s kind of what I thought, too.” Kelli wiped at her eyes, then looked Kenmore full in the face. “Do you think Alison had any clue?”

“I’m sure she knows things weren’t as perfect as Beth remembers, but no, I don’t think she had any inkling that David was thinking of doing what he did, or even capable of such a thing.” He shook his head. “How long have you known?”

“A few weeks. I was going through Daddy’s things after the wreck, and I found some old papers. I couldn’t believe it.”

“What were you told, as far as your past?”

“That my family was killed in a fire in Louisiana. A fire that destroyed all their pictures and everything. I’ve never known what they looked like.”

Kenmore whistled. “I’m sorry for you, kiddo. I’d be lying if I didn’t say it.”

Kelli shook her head. “I’m sorry for all the damage he left behind. You included.” She took a deep breath, and didn’t continue until she was certain she could do so without getting choked up. “Is there anything I can do to help Alison while I’m here? Or more that I can do for Beth or you?”

“Still planning to make amends?”

“Yes, I guess so. I need to get some sort of peace out of all this before I go back.”

“You’re helping me now, just by being at the store. And you’ll be helping me more than plenty after I have my surgery next week. But you might as well quit looking up this tree, it’s one you’ll never be able to climb.”

“You mean Daddy did so much damage I can never make up for it?”

“I mean, there’s only one person who can pay for someone else’s sins, and you’re not Him. He died on a cross a couple thousand years ago.”

“Well, I’ve got to try.”

“Can’t fault you for that, just telling you that you’re looking in the wrong place.”

The crunching of leaves behind them told Kelli this conversation was over. At this point, she was glad.

Kelli arrived home at noon. The morning had not gone as she’d planned in many ways, yet there was some relief in Kenmore knowing the truth.

She pulled the box of letters from the back of the closet, in spite of the fact that she kept promising herself she was going to quit reading them. She chose a letter from the second stack, when things were a little further along. Maybe then she wouldn’t have to read so much about how “in love” Mimi was with the married man who was also Kelli’s father. The man who seemed so little concerned about the family he was leaving behind.

Dear Mom,

Well, I’ve done something so awful I just can’t keep from crying. It is truly the most terrible thing I’ve ever done, but I just don’t know how I could have done it any differently.

The tryouts for the junior high musical were this week. They are doing Bye Bye Birdie, and Kelli wanted the role of Kim so bad. She’s been practicing and practicing. Mom, let me tell you that kid has an AMAZING voice. Don came home yesterday and heard her, turned about three shades of pale, and told her she was not allowed to audition, that theater was a waste of time and energy. He even went and called Mrs. Ross and told her to mark her off the tryout roster.

A little later, I found Kelli crying in her room about it. She was so hurt, and she was confused because her friends had heard her practicing too, and they were all telling her how fabulous she was. I knew there was only one way to convince her to give it up.

I did it. I did what I had to do, but I am so ashamed of myself I can hardly stand it. I told her that her father thought she sounded terrible, and it embarrassed him. Oh Mom, you should have seen that poor girl’s face. I crushed her. But it was the only thing I could do to keep us all safe.

I have never felt so awful in my entire life.

Suze

Kelli crumpled the letter and threw it across the room. She, too, had vivid memories of that day—the last time she’d ever sung in public.

She remembered seeing her father at her bedroom door, and she remembered the rough edge to his voice. “Enough of this musical stuff. You need to be focusing on your schoolwork.”

“Daddy, I’ve got A’s in every single class.” She hadn’t thought he was serious at first.

“And it needs to stay that way. You are entirely too preoccupied with all this show stuff. You need to be focusing on things that matter, not wasting all your time on silly things like plays.”

The tears ran down her face in earnest. She had wanted to be in that show so badly, and all her friends had told her she was good enough. She had believed them. Until an hour later, when Mimi came into her room and said—

Now that Kelli knew why it had all happened, it only made it hurt that much more. She went to her journal, thinking she’d maybe pour out some of her pain. Instead she looked at the title, Finding Kelli, she’d written across the cover. Kelli wasn’t even her real name. She picked up a Sharpie and marked a big X across it. Just above it, she wrote the word Me.

Finding Me. “That’s what I’ve got to do.” She said the words aloud to no one, then picked up the phone and called Denice. “I think I hate my father.”