47

It was Wednesday morning when Kelli finally pulled into the driveway of her apartment, exhausted but relieved to be home. Now she was thankful for the months of paying two rents—at least she had a place to come back to. She climbed the stairs to her little over-the-garage unit, somehow managing to drag her suitcase inside before she plopped across the sofa. The room felt empty without the six-foot bear looming above her. She both missed it and was glad for its absence, so bittersweet was what it represented. The man she’d loved but never really knew at all. The man who’d been so kind to her but had done something terrible to the rest of his family. She pulled out the remote and began to channel surf, not paying attention to anything she was seeing, just needing some mindless noise.

Mrs. Rohling came to the door. “I thought I saw your car in the driveway. Welcome back.”

“Thank you.”

“I’ve got a message for you. There was a woman who came by looking for you a week or so ago. She asked if I would give you this when you got home.”

Kelli thanked Mrs. Rohling, who was already on her way out the door. She opened the envelope to find a handwritten note.

Dear Kelli,

You asked me to convey your message to my mother when she was ready to hear it. Now I have a message for you, from not only my mother but from the entire family. First of all, we would like to offer a heartfelt apology for betraying your trust and costing your job, when you were going out on a limb to help us. It didn’t take long for Kevin to realize that his old high school buddy was indeed cheating our mother with abandon. If he were less of a coward he would have called you himself.

Long story short, Mom’s house sold quickly, so while it’s not possible for her to return home, she did find a cute little cottage in an adult living neighborhood fairly close to Kevin. She loves the place and the people, and still has her independence after all. She asked me to convey to you that she would love to see you if you are ever in the Bay area, so please stop by sometime. As for the rest of us, we again offer our sincere thanks and our profound apologies. I’m sorry that I did not find you at home so that I could tell you all this in person.

Best wishes,
Julie Layton

Kelli shook her head. Who would have thought? So many things had happened since that incident, she found it hard to believe it was part of the same lifetime.

After a while, she pushed herself upright and got into the shower. It was time to start facing the reality of her life, of what it was going to be and what it was not going to be.

It was going to be building up a fabulous new restaurant with her two dearest friends in a charming old Victorian in Santa Barbara. It was not going to be anything to do with country stores, or sweet next-door-neighbor ladies, or family members that she’d never even known existed.

She paced around the room for a while, then drove to Anna’s Bakery for a cream cheese croissant and a large coffee. The bakery was busy as usual, but she found an empty table by the window. The sugar and caffeine flowed through her, and while it woke her up, it did nothing to give her any comfort. She watched families come in together, a mother holding a toddler, a teenaged boy with his father, a young couple holding hands. People who were committed to each other, living their lives together. Something she no longer had.

“Hey, Denice, it’s me. I’m back in town. What’s your schedule like today?”

Ten minutes later, Denice was sitting on Kelli’s couch, a bag of potato chips in hand. “Okay, start from the beginning and tell me what’s happened that caused you to stop taking my calls a few days ago, and now you’ve shown up here out of the blue.”

So that’s what Kelli did. She told her everything that had transpired, leaving out nothing. “That’s why I’m back here. I couldn’t stand to be there for even one more minute. You were so right when you said it was not the time for me to go back. Probably there never would have been a right time, I was just too blind to see it. I’ve not only messed my own self up, but I’ve hurt Beth—which is killing me. I know I hurt Kenmore, too, and Shane. I just made one big mess of it.”

Denice hugged her tight. “I’m sorry you’ve had to go through all this. You deserve it less than anyone I know. You’re back now, a bit older and a bit wiser, but things are going to work out, just you wait and see. Jones has been working hard on the menu and the arrangements. This is going to be a fresh start for you, and that’s what you need right now.” She looked at her watch. “Oh blast! I’m late. I’ll see you tonight, okay?”

Denice hurried through the door, blowing a kiss as she went. She was such a good friend, had been for all of Kelli’s life. Maybe Kelli didn’t have any family left, but she had Denice.

The next day, Kelli decided to go for a drive by the ocean. She’d missed the ocean. As she merged onto the freeway, she thought through all her future possibilities. Denice was right—now was the time for a fresh start.

She slammed on the brakes so hard her car skidded to a stop. The driver behind her laid on his horn as he swerved around her. He made an obscene gesture as he passed by. Kelli’s heart hammered against her ribs, and she hit the gas again, only then realizing what a stupid thing she’d just done. It could have killed her and several more people on the freeway. But in that moment she’d finally realized what she was trying to do. Leave all her problems behind and start fresh. She was no better than her father.

She was not going to be the coward her father had been.

After returning to her apartment, repacking, and making a few other quick stops, Kelli was on I-40 again. She knew she wouldn’t pull off the road until she absolutely could not go any farther. The second day, she made it to Texas before exhaustion forced her to pull off the interstate. She found a rundown motel—it was clean enough, but it was old and had paper-thin walls, so she could hear every word of the conversation next door. It didn’t matter. Within five minutes of entering the room, she was sound asleep.

It was still dark outside when she climbed out of bed the next morning, showered, and returned to the road. She had a sense of urgency, although she had no idea what she’d do after she got back to Shoal Creek. She had a very long drive during which to make a plan, so she started methodically thinking through her options.

She was still concerned that telling Alison and Beth would be more painful than helpful, but she thought about Beth and how devastating the loss of her baby had been. If she were to somehow miraculously find out that baby were still alive, even if it meant Rand had betrayed her, would she want to know? Kelli couldn’t be certain, but she thought so. Since Alison was more even-keeled than Beth, she wondered if she should just go and tell her first, not telling Beth until after Alison agreed it was okay to do so.

Or should she tell them all together? Then they could kick her out of the house all at once, or they could rejoice, or they could ask all their questions, but whatever it was they were going to do, it would all happen at the same time.

At that moment, she knew where she would start. She would ask the one person she trusted the most to tell her the truth.