Chapter Four

 

“She didn’t tell me when she would contact me,” Ariel said quietly over the secure line. “I think we have more problems than Kim hanging around.”

“Solo hanging around might be the best of our problems.” Damon’s upper-crust British accent came over the line. “Ian and I have been discussing the fact that if Solo is getting cheeky, it might mean she’s got more leeway. I agree with Ian’s assessment. Solo is likely working for a group that could be very friendly to us.”

“Then let me tell the lads.” Not telling Robert was killing her. She’d overheard a bit of the argument he’d had with the rest of the Lost Boys. She wasn’t proud of eavesdropping but there had been a weird vibe in the room, a simmering anger she couldn’t deny.

“And risk one of them contacting Green? I think he’s on the ropes with the new developments. I think it would be a mistake to bring this out into the open if what we fear is true and we’ve got a leak. Look, talk to Solo if she contacts you again. Try to get her to tell you what’s happening on her end of this. I don’t think she’s a physical danger to the lads.”

“She’s not. She got close in Colorado. If her plans had been to take one of them for physical testing or questioning, she could have done it then.”

“Excellent. Then you’re not keeping anything from them that could hurt them. This is how this game is played, Ari. We’re almost done. I can feel it.” Damon was quiet for a moment. “We’re close to making some breakthroughs. Theo Taggart won’t tell me exactly what he’s got, but he thinks he’s close to convincing a woman who worked for Hope McDonald’s father to talk to us. We believe Senator McDonald used his place as the head of the Armed Forces Committee to funnel soldiers into his daughter’s program. I sent you a report on the initial findings. You should feel free to share that. They need to know we’re doing everything we can to identify them so once we have the leverage, we can get the charges dropped against each of them. When we do that, they can go home.”

The thought of Robert going home made her heart ache. His home was in The Garden. She wanted his home to be with her. “That would only cover the American military.”

“We’re not sure. McDonald had deep ties across the globe thanks to his connections to The Collective.”

The Collective had been an illuminati-like group of corporations who had set about manipulating global governments and systems to enrich themselves. Kronberg had long been rumored to be a part of it. The Collective itself had retreated, but she had no doubt they would simply lick their wounds and resurface some time down the line. “So we might soon be able to give our lads their real names.”

“That’s the hope,” Damon assured her. “Do what you need to do to keep their spirits up.”

“It didn’t help that we’re stuck in a club again.”

Damon chuckled. “I’ve heard it’s nice. And the neighborhood is quiet enough that you should be able to have a bit of freedom. They can take walks, go out for meals, but make sure they never go alone. And tell Robert next time he plans to seduce one of my employees he should do it in a hotel that’s not monitored by the local intelligence agency.”

“I’m certainly not going to tell him that. He was upset enough that his plans got ruined.”

“Are you sure you want to jump into this now?” Damon asked. “If Theo’s right, we could find his family soon.”

It would be smarter to hold off. She knew it logically. She’d spent her whole life being careful. “I think it’s safe to say that being stuck in a club with everyone around us successfully put a kibosh on the date.”

“I’m sorry, dear. It’s probably for the best.”

It was and yet she felt lonely at the thought of not spending time with him tonight. Despite today’s man fit, Robert was usually the nicest man she’d ever met. Oh, she wasn’t fooled by his placid demeanor. She knew there was war going on inside him, but the core of the man was solid.

She wondered if he understood that. She’d always thought his hesitation came from the rubbish idea that he could hurt her physically.

He often forgot who she was. And then there was that part of her he didn’t know about at all.

There was a knock on her door. She glanced to the clock. It was getting late. The pizza had likely arrived. She didn’t want pizza. She wanted to start the day again and not have any of this hanging over them. When she’d gotten on that plane, she’d been filled with anticipation, and all of it was gone now. She’d expected dinner to be a quiet affair with only her and Robert. Now she would have to referee between Owen and Dante. She needed to get the whole group together for a session to get at the underlying problem.

“I’ve got to go, Damon.”

“Be safe.”

She hung up her mobile and slipped it into her pocket before answering the door. She’d expected Rebecca or Owen, but it was Robert who stood in her doorway.

And he looked delicious. He’d changed out of his traveling clothes into a set of perfectly pressed black slacks, a snowy white dress shirt, and blue tie. It should have looked staid. It would have on most men, but on Robert it made her wonder what she would see when she peeled off all those clothes.

She had a damn degree in psychology and it didn’t mean anything when her hormones got involved.

“Hey, I know I acted like a massive asshole earlier today.” He had a grim look on his face that changed to charming when he brought his hand around from his back and showed her the perfect white rose he offered her. “Would you please let me make up for it?”

There were a thousand reasons to say no. She could do it gently. She could remind him that the first chance they’d had to prove they could manage a relationship and still work together they’d blown. She could point out that there was still the hope of a cure out there.

Or you could live in the moment, my love. You could stop being so in that head of yours and let yourself feel.

Sometimes she could still hear her father’s wise voice in her head. He’d done so much, taken so many chances to bring his family to a better place.

“Ariel, please. I’m sorry I treated you like that. I took out my bad day on you and it wasn’t fair. I wanted our night together. I planned it all out, but I forgot that the only really important part of the night wasn’t the restaurant or the hotel. It was that we got to be together. Be with me for a while.”

She took the rose from his hand, all thoughts of why this was a bad idea flying out of her head. “Yes.”

But she wasn’t nearly as dressed as he was. “Give me a minute to change.”

He shook his head. “You look beautiful and we’re only going to the kitchen.”

“You dressed for the occasion.”

“I was also the asshole who challenged the authority of my commander in the field. Trust me, I like this far better than dropping to the floor and giving you a hundred like I…” He shook his head. “Not going there.”

She stepped in, putting a hand on his face. “It’s okay. Let the visual piece go and tell me what you felt.”

He pressed his cheek against her hand. “No therapist stuff tonight. I promise I’ll write it down later and talk to Kai about it, but I want you to stop thinking about me as a patient. This can’t work if you don’t. Please come to the kitchen with me. I managed to shove everyone else in the media room. They’re watching a football match. Well, Rebecca is reading on her e-reader and rolling her eyes when the guys yell at the screen, but the kitchen is on the opposite end of the floor. I promise it’s quiet there.”

She was still in the slacks and blouse she’d worn this afternoon. They were casual and comfortable. Certainly not something she would wear on a date. Robert was far better dressed for the occasion.

A vision of a private dinner where he was in a suit and she was wearing absolutely nothing floated across her brain. Sir wouldn’t want her in clothes. Sir would want to see nothing but her own skin so he could touch her everywhere, whenever he pleased. They could spend long hours like that. She wouldn’t worry about anything at all but pleasing her dominant partner.

“Come on.” He used that deep voice on her she’d heard him use at The Garden. Like her, Robert spent at least one night each weekend playing. She’d seen him paired up with some of her friends, but never had he taken one to a privacy room or up to his flat.

She hadn’t indulged herself in sex in a long time.

She followed him down the hallway and sure enough, heard someone yelling from the far end about a ref’s call. Poor Rebecca.

Robert led her away from it, his loafers making no sound over the carpet. This part of the club was comfortable, much more like a home than downstairs, and it made her wonder if Peter often had guests he put up here. She’d talked briefly to the man and he appeared to be very interested in teaching and training new D/s couples.

Were she and Robert going to be a D/s couple?

She stopped that line of thinking. This was nothing more than a pleasant way to spend an evening with a man she liked enormously.

With a man she might be falling in love with.

Why couldn’t she let things be? Why did she always have to look past the now?

“Hey, if I didn’t know better I would think you’re the one whose stuck in a nasty memory loop in your head. Are you all right? I’m not frightening you, am I?”

She rolled her eyes. “You have to stop treating me like I’m a delicate flower who wilts in direct sunlight. You don’t frighten me at all. You frustrate me at times because I think you hold back on me. You see me as something I’m not, and I worry that could be a problem.”

“Something you’re not?”

Maybe it was best to get the uncomfortable discussion out of the way. “You view me as a savior.”

“I do not.”

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, but if we’re going to have a real relationship, you have to see me for the woman I am. I’m not delicate. I’m flawed and human. I can’t be on a pedestal. Women placed on pedestals always fall off them.”

“You think I see you with some kind of halo around your head?” he asked. “You didn’t save me. The Taggarts did, and I assure you when I see Big Tag I’m mostly annoyed by his sarcasm. I don’t have a deep desire to throw myself at his feet. I’m grateful, but gratitude isn’t what I feel for you. If I put you on a pedestal it would be because I could fuck you better there.”

Her breath hitched. “Robert.”

He shook his head. “Don’t. You started this when you accused me of putting you in the Madonna role. I didn’t meet you and immediately think ‘this woman can fix my soul.’ I met you and got a hard-on. I met you and thought ‘this woman can fix my cock because she’s the single sexiest woman I’ve ever met.’ I don’t know about your other patients. I’m sure many fall in love with you because you’re an angel, but I want to bring out the devil in you. I want the dirty, nasty Ariel who will rock my world not with the power of her mind—but with every drop of the sexuality I intend to bring out in you. That’s the memory I clung to this afternoon. That’s what saved me. The filthy thoughts that went through my head seconds after meeting you.”

She remembered that moment quite differently. He’d been charming and seemed a bit lost. “But we were at a morning meeting. We were in the conference room.”

“And I got a hard-on that Damon told me I should put away because I wouldn’t be needing it. I never wanted you to be my therapist. I did it because I didn’t think it would be good for you to be my lover. We’re never going to work well together. My first thought is always going to be to protect you, and that’s not because I don’t think you’re competent. I know you’ve had all the classes.”

“You know I was Scotland Yard before I joined the team.” A lie, but one that had been established before she’d even met him.

“Yes, I do, and they likely gave you all the self-defense training you could ever want, but I’m a man who cares about you. Tell me when I go in the field you’re not thinking of me.”

She’d been terrified the whole time he was away. “You know I do. I worry.”

“I didn’t want you to come with us to Colorado because I knew it could get dangerous. After how you took care of me in Toronto, I have to shove that scared part of myself back. I thought I was going to die, and my biggest regret was never taking a chance with you. Let me take a chance with you tonight.”

She had to be honest with him about the few things she could. “I just got off the phone with Damon and he thinks he might be close to finding someone who can tell us who you are.”

He stared down at her, his hazel eyes warm. “I am Robert McClellan. That’s who I am. I’m curious about who I used to be but I know deep inside that I’m not that person anymore. I’m the man you see before you.”

“But we don’t know if you left anyone behind.” It was a thought that kept her up at night, that some other woman was pining for him.

“A wife would have looked for me. No one looked for me. If I left behind kids, would that disqualify me from being with you?”

“No.” She would want to know them. “Of course it wouldn’t.”

“Then let’s stop thinking about what might be and make something real. I’ve lived the last several years of my life not thinking about anything but survival and figuring out my past. I would very much like to have some kind of future, and I can’t do that if I’m always looking behind me. Have dinner with me. That’s all I’m asking for now. I’ll take this hour by hour if I have to.”

“All you want is dinner?” That was disappointing, but probably smart.

“Hell, no. I want more but I’ll take what I can get when it comes to you. You’re the one I want, Ariel. I want the Ariel who bluffs like a pro when we play cards but mucks the best hand if she thinks it would help someone else win. I want the Ariel who’s kind to everyone around her but doesn’t let them take advantage of her. I want the Ariel who knows what she wants and doesn’t hesitate to reach out and take. I want so badly to be the person that Ariel wants.”

He was everything she wanted. Even that fight they had today proved it. He hadn’t sulked in his room, waiting for her to fix things. He’d apologized. He’d taken responsibility and acknowledged what he’d done. He was a strong man who’d seen the worst life had to offer and still come out with kindness in his heart. She wanted him more than anything. She went up on her toes and tilted her head back, offering up her lips. “I would like that very much.”

He didn’t seem even the slightest bit interested in refusing her. He immediately sighed and brought his mouth down on hers. He brushed their lips together, his hands moving to her hips. “I am sorry about today. You handled the situation quite well, but then you always handle me well. I might have to change that.”

She knew what he was talking about. She was in the position of control on the mission. He wanted a little of it somewhere else. She couldn’t think of a better idea. “Tell me what you want from me, Sir.”

He hissed, like a pot letting off the tiniest bit of steam. “Do you have any idea how long I’ve wanted to play with you?”

“As long as I’ve wanted to play with you. You weren’t the only one attracted that day.” She’d seen him sitting there with Theo and Erin and her hormones had gone into overdrive. She’d been fairly new to the team and had been very much in self-care mode. She hadn’t been looking for a man. Not at all, but Robert had shown up and her plans had gone to hell.

“Does anyone care that I’m wearing a suit for this?”

She turned and Tucker was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, a bottle of wine in his hand.

“I’m the only one of his brothers willing to play the waiter tonight and you two are going to make out until all the food is cold and then I won’t even get a tip.”

One day there would be a woman who would take one look at Tucker and fall head over heels. He was a beautiful man with golden brown hair and a face meant for a movie screen. There was a light about Tucker she’d rarely seen in others. And that woman would have to take on all his crazy, too.

“How about I give you the rest of the night off, buddy?” Robert turned to his friend. “I think Ari and I can take it from here.”

She found her hand in his again, the press of it warm and secure.

“Fine, but if the pasta is cold it’s not my fault. And I hope you enjoy the playlist I spent all afternoon working on.” He shrugged suddenly and grinned. “I didn’t really. It’s my ‘let’s get down to business’ playlist. Candyee says it’s guaranteed to put you in the mood. And she’s a pro.”

Oh, lord. “Thank her for us.”

Robert had a hand over his mouth.

Tucker winked her way and walked back toward the media room.

And she let Robert lead her into the kitchen to start their date. She hoped it ended properly.

 

* * * *

 

Robert stared at her across the candlelit table and promised he was going to be way nicer to Peter. Ariel looked gorgeous in the candlelight and she’d relaxed after he’d poured her a glass of Pinot Noir. He’d served her the spaghetti Bolognese he’d put together after Peter had gotten him acquainted with the kitchen. One of the things he’d done while holed up in The Garden was learn to cook. He wasn’t handy with a computer like Jax, or as excellent at deductive reasoning as Sasha. He was good at putting a plan together, making sure the team had everything they needed out in the field. He was the logistical guy, but most of the time he wasn’t needed. He’d discovered he was excellent in the field at being a bodyguard and had great instincts as to when the shit was about to go down. But sitting around The Garden waiting, working out, and practicing how to kill enemies hadn’t been as fulfilling as he’d thought it would be. So he’d learned to cook. He wasn’t Sean Taggart level good, but he was competent in the kitchen.

“That was excellent. Teresa taught you well,” Ariel said, putting her glass down.

Teresa was kind of the mother sub at The Garden. She did a lot of the cooking and took care of the team. “She was a patient teacher. Most of the people at The Garden have been kind to me.”

“Is that why you decided to stay? I know Ian offered you a job.”

“I stayed because they needed me.” His brothers. “Theo didn’t need me after he stopped being a stubborn asshole about his wife. Once he accepted his past, he was good. Think about it like you’re the only person in the world with a disease and suddenly you find out that there are five others out there just like you. There’s this odd happiness. Then guilt that you feel happy.”

“You felt that way because you weren’t alone.”

“And it was never truly happiness. It was more like a settling deep inside me. They needed me. Being around for them as they adjusted to the world gave me purpose. The first time Damon called me into his office to give a report on my men, that was the moment I found some pride.”

And he’d felt…normal again. He hadn’t even been sure of what that word meant at the time, but now he knew there had been a familiarity in taking charge.

There was an Army base in Germany. Lots of soldiers moved through there. Had he been stationed here?

“You have a lot to be proud of,” Ariel said, pushing her chair back. “We should do the dishes.”

He let the thought go. He wasn’t going to have another episode tonight. He was going to keep his focus on Ariel. “No, I’ve got that covered. Owen lost a bet and I finally called it in. Don’t worry. Rebecca will help him out. I left them what we didn’t eat. They’re probably waiting outside for us to leave.”

“No, we’re not,” a feminine voice said from behind the doors.

“Yes, we are. We’re hungry and you two are taking forever. Please bang already,” Owen yelled from behind the door.

He should really be better about this. Robert got to his feet. “You know I facilitated your relationship with Rebecca. You could be a little nicer.”

Owen stepped inside, Rebecca following after. “I’m being very nice. You’ll sit here and talk the doc to death if I don’t give you a nudge.”

“And honestly, if he hadn’t spoken up, his stomach growling would have interrupted you.” Rebecca moved to the counter where he’d put the rest of the spaghetti and salad. “He can’t help it. He’s a bottomless pit. There’s no satisfying him.”

Owen pulled his girlfriend into his arms and waggled his eyebrows suggestively. “You satisfy me quite nicely.”

Rebecca laughed as he nuzzled her neck. “Seriously, guys, we can grab a bowl and come back later if you two want to talk.”

He didn’t want to talk anymore. Not like this. He wanted to be alone with her, naked with her. He’d waited forever, but he wasn’t going to push her into this. If she was going to leave him at her doorstep with a kiss, he would handle it.

A gentleman. He would be a gentleman right up until she let him off the leash. Then he would eat her up.

“I think we’ve had a long day and we’ll have a longer one tomorrow,” he said, reaching for her hand. The minute she threaded their fingers together he felt something inside him relax. He loved the daily intimacies they’d started to find. Holding her hand, kissing her, those small affections grounded him mightily. “Don’t forget the morning briefing. Peter says he’s bringing in something called butter pretzels, so we should assume we’ll get a lecture on the history of pretzels in Bavaria.”

Owen groaned. “We’ll be there.”

He led Ariel out. Down the hall he saw Dante outside the media room, a beer in his hand. He’d been turned toward the kitchen at the opposite end of the hall, as though he’d been standing there staring at it. Had he been listening to the happy couples?

There was something dark in Dante that always gave him pause.

Dante turned without a word and disappeared behind the doors where he would likely drink himself to sleep. It seemed to be the way he and Sasha operated.

But he wasn’t thinking about that tonight. Tomorrow would be soon enough to sit everyone down and talk about the problems they were having. He would get Jax on the phone. He wasn’t leaving him out because he was in London.

“Are you all right?” Ariel had stopped beside him. “Is Dante giving you trouble?”

He was glad she’d been upstairs when they’d gone on their rant. “I think the pressure is starting to get to him. But we can talk about that tomorrow. I think after we get back to London we should have a big group meeting and get some things out in the open.”

“They think Damon and Ian are keeping things from them?”

No. He did not want to go there. He stopped in the middle of the hall and got into her personal space. She backed up against the wall and he loomed over her. It was time to move from reality to a place where they might be able to play out a few fantasies, if she was ready. “No work talk. If you want to go to sleep, I’ll kiss you now and see you in the morning. Tucker and I are in the room next to you. If you need anything I’ll be there. If you aren’t tired and you want to talk some more, we can go down to the bar and have another glass of wine with the full knowledge we don’t have to go any further than that. I’m more than willing to sit up talking to you all night long.”

She tilted her head up to him. “And if I want to go to bed but not to sleep?”

His heart rate ticked up, blood starting to thrum through his system as he invaded further, brushing his chest against hers. He reached for her wrists and gently brought them up and over her head, pinning her to the wall. “Then we need to make a few things clear.”

She took a deep breath, her lips curling up as though she liked the way he smelled. “Me sub, you Dom. Got it.”

He leaned over. “Hey, I’m trying to make sure I take care of you the way you like to be taken care of. I’ve watched you play. I don’t think your play partners realized how much you like being dominated. I think they view you as a woman who enjoys a spanking from time to time. They don’t get how much you need to know your partner is thinking about how to handle you. They don’t understand that you need to stop thinking. You need a place where you obey your partner.”

“In their defense, I had no interest in sex with any of them. I was looking for a spanking, some physical play that wouldn’t lead to real intimacy. You watched me?”

“I always watch you,” he admitted. “It’s why my brothers insist I’m your stalker. I watch you because I can’t not watch you when you’re in a room. If I thought for a second that it made you uncomfortable, I would make myself stop, but I think you like it.”

She watched him, too, and not in a way that made him think she was wary of him. It had always been there between them—the crackle and fire of sexual chemistry.

“You’re going to be a talky one, aren’t you?” she asked.

And she was going to be a brat. “You’re the one who usually makes everyone else do the talking. Yes, I want you to talk to me. I want you to tell me how you’re feeling and if the things I’m going to do to your body work for you. I need you to understand that nothing is more important to me for the rest of the night than ensuring that you’re well taken care of. So let’s set some ground rules. Unless you want me to play this vanilla. I can do that. I can gently take you inside and lay you out on the bed and then I’ll make love to you.”

Her eyes flared. “Or you could bend me to your will and fuck me so hard I can’t think of anything or anyone but you.”

He liked how she thought. “Then stop being a brat. And yes, I’m a talkie top. I’ll make you talk to me while we’re playing. This is my therapy session, Dr. Adisa. You’re not in charge. Say that. Tell me who’s in charge.”

“You are, Robert.” Her tone had softened along with her eyes.

“And who obeys me?”

“I do. I obey you when we’re playing.”

“Tell me your safe word.” He had no intention of her using it, but they needed it there between them.

“I’ve always used red, but I’m not going to use it with you.”

“But you have it if you need it. We’re going to walk into that room and you’re going to strip for me. You’re going to present yourself to me. Am I understood?”

Her pupils had dilated and her body seemed more languid than it had before. Him taking control was doing exactly what he’d thought it would.

“Yes, Sir.”

“Then kiss me sweetly and do what I commanded.”

She popped up on her toes and brushed her lips against his. Heat flashed through him and he had the overwhelming need to press her against the wall and find a place between her legs. He could shove his cock inside her and not stop until they both came.

Or he could make this last for a long time. He could spend hours and hours playing with her because making love to Ariel wouldn’t merely be about an orgasm. It would be about exploring the intense emotion that had grown between them.

He released her wrists and she bit her bottom lip as she relaxed back down off her toes. She looked up at him briefly before sliding away and reaching for the door.

“I’ll be right in. Don’t start without…” He was about to walk the few steps to the door of the room he’d been assigned, but it came open and an arm poked through holding the small leather bag that served as Robert’s kit. “Is there any privacy at all in this place?”

He heard Ariel giggle.

Tucker merely shook the bag. “Not when you’re out in the hallway. Go do your dirty stuff in a proper bedroom if you don’t want me listening in. Also, you know what Big Tag would say.”

He grabbed the bag from Tucker. He loved the guy, but Tucker also knew how to act like the most obnoxious little brother the world had ever seen. Tucker was harshing his top space.

“We’ll use a condom,” Ariel promised, looking far less serious than she usually did. The weight of the world always seemed to be on her shoulders, and now she seemed more relaxed.

This was the Ariel he saw on the dungeon floor. He wanted her to be able to find this lightness in other parts of her life. She could if she trusted him enough.

“Good night, Tucker.” He turned and followed Ariel inside her room, locking the door behind him. He set the kit down and stared at her. “I’m waiting.”

She held his gaze as she kicked off the shoes she’d been wearing and began to unbutton her blouse, revealing inch after inch of gorgeous skin. She took her time, and this wasn’t some shy offering of a woman who hoped her partner accepted her. This woman knew the value of the gift she offered.

“God, you’re beautiful.” It went beyond the word. Or rather the word went beyond the physical. Ariel was beautiful inside and out, and she’d proven she was a puzzle, complex and fascinating.

She shrugged out of the blouse and draped it over the chair to her left. The room was small, but there was more than enough space for what he intended to do. She eased her slacks off and stood in front of him wearing nothing but a sunny yellow bra and matching panties.

“You know, if I’d had my way we would be in a suite with a view of the whole city. I’d open the curtains and watch the moonlight pour over your skin.”

Her eyes lit for a second with mischief, but then she seemed to change her mind. “I’m sorry, Sir. I know you planned everything out carefully.”

Such a good sub. He kind of wanted the brat. “Tell me what went through your mind just then.”

She wrinkled her nose, a sweet expression on her face. “You would watch the moonlight pour over my skin and German intelligence would help us make a porno.”

He growled a bit, but it was all in fun. “I would have made certain there were no cameras, and you’re a well-trained sub to have kept that to yourself. Are you not going to give me a reason to spank you?”

She shrugged and reached for the back of her bra. “I’m sure we can play those games at some point. I would like very much to explore with you. It’s been a few years since I actually had a D/s relationship that was anything beyond play in a club.”

His eyes caught on her breasts and he didn’t even pretend he wasn’t staring. He didn’t have to be polite here. Here he could indulge in her. “You’ve had a long-term top before?”

“The boyfriend who introduced me to the lifestyle. We worked together for a few years before I joined McKay-Taggart and Knight.” The bra joined her other clothes. “Robert, are you sure? We work together. I don’t want to jeopardize your position.”

She asked him that now? He would have been sure before, but there wasn’t a damn hesitation in his head now that he could see how tight her nipples were. “I don’t have a position. I don’t really work for them. If you think about it, they’re working for me. Take off your panties. I’m absolutely sure I want you, and it won’t be for one night. I’m not trying to fuck you out of my system. I don’t want you out of my system.” Of course there was another reason she could have asked the question. “Are you unsure?”

He would slow down. He didn’t want to stop. He would take all the time she needed to get comfortable.

She stepped close, her head tilting up and eyes wide as she looked at him. “Rob, I’m sure. I know in the beginning I was worried you weren’t capable of having a relationship.”

He remembered those conversations quite well. He still cringed inside at the thought of them. “You were worried I was some lost duckling and I imprinted on you.”

Her head shook slightly. “I didn’t put it like that, but time has passed and I’ve watched you grow. You didn’t move on to a willing woman, and there were many of them.”

“I only wanted you. After I met you, you were the only woman I could see.” He needed to put all his cards on the table. “I’ve had sex since I was rescued. I met a woman at Sanctum. A couple of them, actually, but it was never serious and it was more about comfort than anything else. This is different. Since I started living at The Garden there hasn’t been anyone else because what I need now can’t be filled by any willing woman. What I need can only come from you.”

“And I can’t hide behind professionalism any more. I felt the connection between us the moment we met. I wanted you to be sure because we’re taking a chance here. I wouldn’t take it with anyone but you.”

Sweet words, but he wanted more. “Then take off those pretty panties and present yourself to me. We’ll work out a contract if you want, but not tonight. Tonight, I want you to do what I asked.”

She didn’t move back, merely let her hands find the waistband of her undies and shoved them off. With her foot, she kicked them out of the way and never once looked down. Her eyes were on him as though watching for his every expression.

She was the sexiest woman he’d ever seen, and somehow he knew deep in his bones that counted his whole life, even the parts he couldn’t remember. Ariel Adisa was a goddess, and he intended to worship her tonight.

“How do you want me to present myself, Sir? We don’t have any protocols established.”

“Turn around for me. Let me see you.”

She stepped back and turned slowly.

“Stop.” Her ass was stunning. He’d seen her in fet wear before, but never naked and willing to do his bidding.

He couldn’t help but move in and put a hand on her. A deep breath filled her lungs and she seemed to relax at his touch. He was anything but relaxed. His whole body felt on edge. His cock was hard and ready, but he wasn’t through exploring her yet.

He leaned in and caught her scent. Lavender. That’s what her skin smelled like. He ran his nose from right behind her ear to the crook of her neck. A sweet shudder went through her, and she leaned back against him. “Tell me what you like about the lifestyle. I think I know, but I want to hear it from you.”

“I’m always in control, always thinking about others. This is the only time I allow myself to let go and think about nothing more than the next moment. The next breath. The next touch. I struggled with sexual pleasure until I found a lover who was also a Dom.”

“The one you worked with?” He moved back. Robert clenched his teeth, glad she couldn’t see him. He grabbed her hips, holding her still. He didn’t want to talk. Not now. But he was afraid if he didn’t, he would lose control. God, the beast that seemed to simmer under his surface was pressing hard against the cage.

“Sir?” Gentle fingers covered his where he gripped her hips. “Rob?”

She was using that soft voice that let him know she was going into shrink mode. It was the worried sound of a mother hen. He was fucking this up. Panic and disappointment and lust—raw, hot lust—were vying for control of him.

Her hands stroked the back of his fingers. “What’s wrong, love? I shouldn’t have mentioned the past. Why don’t we sit and talk a bit?”

If he let her she would put him in the patient zone. She would shove him back in the comfortable place where she didn’t have to acknowledge that he was a man who could make her feel something beyond sympathy. They would be right back where they’d been before.

Instinct took over. He’d learned to trust his instincts—whoever he’d been before had known how to clean and disassemble a gun, how to block a punch.

For the first time he let instinct take over when it came to sex. When it came to pleasing a woman. When it came to her.

He used his grip on her hips to spin her around to face him. The movement had been sudden, shocking, and she wasn’t steady on her feet. Good. He didn’t want her steady. He wasn’t steady. She looked up at him, her eyes wide with surprise and…arousal. That was good. He wanted her aroused, but he wasn’t stopping there. He wrapped one arm around her torso, trapping her arms at her sides. The other went around her shoulders, jerking her naked, vulnerable body against his fully clothed one.

Holding her tight, he bent his face to hers and claimed her mouth.

He’d kissed women before. He’d kissed her before. This was something else.

This was possession.

He had her right where he wanted her—he held her hard against him, her neck bent, base of her skull resting on the forearm of the arm he’d wrapped around her shoulders. Her mouth was soft and yielding under his. When he swept his tongue over the seam of her lips, she flowered open, giving him access to her mouth.

A growl of satisfaction rumbled through him, even as he claimed what she’d offered, tongue delving into her mouth, tasting her. Her tongue stroked against his. Tentative at first, and then with a bit of aggression. The kiss became a dance, a duel. He pulled back just enough for them to breathe and then claimed her mouth once again, sucking her tongue, showing her what he wanted, then thrusting his tongue into her mouth.

She did what he wanted, what he needed, and sucked on him. His cock jerked in his pants. It was a pale imitation of what he truly wanted, but now he knew what it would be like when he pressed his cock into her mouth.

Robert’s arms tightened around her, and she made a small noise of discomfort.

That sound was enough to break through. He released her and forced himself to step back. They were both panting. He’d planned tonight, knew what he wanted to say to her, how he’d touch her. How he’d take it slow and learn her.

That kiss hadn’t been in any of his plans.

Ariel was the picture of desire, lust obviously taking her over. He’d done that to her. She dragged air into her lungs, making her breasts with their tight nipples bounce slightly. He forced himself to look away from all that lovely, naked skin.

He knew he should say something. He’d promised her he would take it slow and they would find their intimacy. For her that meant talking, sharing their feelings with each other. He always had something to say. But right now there were no words, because despite the fact that he’d screwed up, that he’d kissed her and held her so tight he’d hurt her, he didn’t know what to say. The months of tension between them, the slow burn of their sexual chemistry, had come to a head in that kiss.

Ariel inhaled, held the breath. A little shiver worked down her body, and he realized he was staring at her naked breasts again. He jerked his gaze to the ceiling.

She took a step forward, hands coming up.

Then she shoved him, hard.

It wasn’t a move he’d anticipated, though he should have given what a caveman he’d been. He stumbled back a few steps, his back thudding against the wall.

His heart clenched. He’d hurt her, badly enough that she was fighting him, literally pushing him away. He opened his mouth, but there weren’t words enough to express how sorry he was for how he’d treated her.

She looked him up and down, then took two running steps…

…and jumped on him.

He managed to catch her and then she was kissing him. She’d wrapped her arms around him, one hand tangling in his hair. With his back to the wall she couldn’t get her legs around his waist, but she gripped his hips with her knees. He felt her start to slide and reached down, grabbing her ass, that glorious ass, with both hands. He squeezed, and she made a little sound, then bit his lip.

She didn’t hate him. He hadn’t scared her. She’d liked the kiss. Even better, she wanted more.

He would give her more.

He pushed away from the wall, carrying her. The bed was his destination, but with most of his blood in his dick and no way to see, he missed the bed, managing instead to trip on something. He felt himself start to fall and shifted their weight, managing to go down on one knee and then twisting hard. He landed on his back with a thump, Ariel on top of him.

Ariel sat up, straddling him. “Robert, are you hurt?”

He tried to speak but all that came out was a groan.

Her lips parted, eyes rounding. “You’re hurt. I’ll—”

He grabbed her hips, swallowed, and managed to speak. “Your pussy is right on my dick.”

It was why he’d only been able to groan.

They both looked down. Ariel was astride his hips, her pussy hovering only an inch above the tented crotch of his slacks. He could feel the heat coming off her. He could see the way her pussy glistened—she was wet. Ready.

The scent of her arousal was a heady perfume. He wanted to taste her. Needed to fuck her.

Ariel looked at him from beneath her lashes. “I was aggressive. This started out as a D/s scene.”

“And I’m the one who kissed you like some manner-less caveman. I ruined it. And you being aggressive is…” He frowned. Hadn’t he spent months and months learning this woman, watching her and figuring out what she needed? She needed someone she trusted to take control. “It’s not what you want. You need a Dom, you need D/s. I’m not—”

“I don’t know what this is.” Ariel laid her hands softly on his chest. “But I don’t want to stop. Do you?”

“No.” That was the biggest understatement of his life. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t. I trust you.”

Would she if she knew what he dreamed of at night? It was one of the things he’d kept from her, holding on to that nasty vision that came to him like it was gold he hoarded. “You shouldn’t.”

“I do, Robert. I do trust you.”

“What I want right now isn’t to be your Dom.” He was trying to ignore how much he liked the view from here. Lying on his back, looking up at Ariel’s lovely tits, was something he could get used to. “I want to take you. I want to fuck you. I want to…” He didn’t know a way to describe what he wanted that didn’t sound like he was an aggressive, violent asshole.

She stared down at him. “And I want you to take me. I want you to fuck me.”

This was the woman he needed—the one who challenged him, who forced him to constantly see her anew. He was so fucking in love with her. He let go of all thoughts that this had to go one way. He didn’t have to prove anything to her except that they were in this together. He let go of the idea that he needed to be gentle with her. His woman knew what she wanted and it was him.

Ariel’s hands were still on his shirt. She closed her fingers into fists then yanked. He lost half the buttons with that first hard pull. She was going for a second when he gave in and once more let pure instinct take over.

They were on the floor a few feet from the bed. Robert sat up, wrapping his arms around Ariel as he did. He claimed her mouth, using one hand to hold her hips, force her to stay straddling him. The other hand yanked his tie off. He wouldn’t need it again.

He broke the kiss, her taste lingering on his tongue. The sweetness of her mouth wasn’t the only part of her he wanted to taste. “Put your nipple in my mouth.”

She leaned forward, fingers sliding through his hair as she pressed her breast to his mouth. His lips parted and he took the tip of her breast. He sucked hard, wanting the contact, wanting to draw blood to the already engorged flesh to make her even more sensitive. He released that breast, taking the other in his mouth, sucking and then nipping her. He heard air hiss from between her teeth. He did it again, gently biting her nipple, but then moved his head back, stretching and pulling on the tip of her breast.

“Did that hurt?” He asked the question but his early panic—the idea that he could ruin everything with one brutish move—was gone. It was an academic question. She wouldn’t leave him simply because he’d gone too far. She would talk to him and he would adjust.

It was what couples did. During sex. In their everyday lives. They made accommodations.

“Yes,” she breathed.

He gently kissed the nipple he’d abused. He licked her because that “yes” hadn’t told him she wanted to stop. “And do you want me to do it again?”

“Yes. Please. Yes.”

He switched back to the first breast, capturing the peak between his teeth then slowly biting down, adding pressure until she was moaning, her hips rocking forward onto his stomach. Reaching up he tangled one hand in her hair, making a fist and then tugging. She arched back, his grip on her hair forcing her to offer those sweet breasts and wet nipples up to his mouth.

“Brace your hands on my thighs.”

When she obeyed he released her hair so he could get both hands on those breasts. He squeezed, watching the skin plump up between his fingers. Then he took each nipple between thumb and forefinger, rolling and pinching. He watched her neck work as she swallowed, listened to the breathy, desperate sounds she made. He wanted to do this all night—play with her nipples and watch her.

His brain might want that, but his cock, and maybe even his soul, needed more. Needed all of her. Needed to fuck her. To finally take her. He craved possession in the most primal and intimate way possible.

He pinched her nipples, gripping them hard, then pulled, forcing the tips of her breasts to slide from between the vise of his fingers. She let out a breathy sob.

“Tell me what you’re feeling.” He wanted to hear her say it. He wanted the words coming from her mouth.

“Need,” was all she said.

“What do you need?”

“You.” A simple word that meant everything. She was finally seeing one of the pieces he’d withheld out of pure fear that she would reject him. She wasn’t rejecting him. Not at all.

He looked to the side, and the bed was right there. All he had to do was get them to the bed and then he could take his time. He could fuck her thoroughly and slowly. He could play with her. Worship her the way he’d planned.

“Please,” she begged. “Please.”

They weren’t going to make it to the bed. He was going to fuck her right here, right now.

Robert leaned back on an elbow. Ariel’s torso was still arched, her hands on his legs. That meant he had a lovely view of her pussy. He hadn’t even touched it yet. Hadn’t tasted her there.

Later. It would have to be later because now what he needed, more than he’d ever needed anything, was to wrap himself around her, to feel her arms around him as he sank into her.

With one hand he started jerking at his pants, struggling to lower the zipper. Ariel looked at what he was doing, then pushed up and reached to help him. He had to close his eyes and focus on ripping off the remnants of his shirt while she lowered the zipper of his slacks. She shifted, swinging her leg over so she was no longer straddling him. His heart almost stopped, but she wasn’t leaving him. Instead she grabbed his pants and yanked them down and off.

“There’s a condom in the pocket,” he forced himself to say. Fucking condom. He didn’t want to wear it, but even his inner caveman wasn’t foolish enough to go without at this stage.

No one had ever told him how hot it was to have a woman rip his clothes off. There was something unspeakably arousing in the way she moved—hard and fast, as if she couldn’t wait to get him naked. As if she needed him as much as he needed her. She tossed the pants away as he shed the last bits of his shirt.

“Put it on, Rob. My hands are shaking too much,” she said, handing him the condom. “I know it would be sexier if I did it, but I can’t.”

He took it from her, forcing himself to open the packet, grip his dick, do what needed to be done. All the while she was watching him, her hands shaking with desire. He couldn’t take his eyes off her.

They were both naked and ready, and for a moment they stopped, considering one another. It should have been almost comical—him sitting, her kneeling beside him in the cramped space on the floor beside the bed.

He held out his arms and she fell into them, wrapping herself around him once more. It didn’t matter where they were. They had each other.

The first touch of her naked body to his own skin was a revelation—it both soothed him and pumped up the level of his need.

He gripped her knees, forcing her to straddle his legs. He shifted her until she was sitting on his lap, her legs around his waist. He folded his own legs, so he was sitting cross-legged, her ass cradled by his thighs, her legs spread open and ready. They were tucked in together like puzzle pieces.

“Look at me,” he demanded.

Her gaze met his. He slid his right hand up her spine, curling his fingers over her shoulder from behind. He reached between their bodies, lining up his cock. He held her gaze as he maneuvered himself into position. The blunt head of his dick slid along her labia once, twice, and then he found the entrance. He positioned himself, then released his cock, grabbing her hips.

He was right there, on the edge of something he’d wanted and needed for so long.

“Keep looking at me,” he commanded. “I want your eyes on me.”

Ariel clung to his shoulders and nodded.

He flexed his fingers on her hip and shoulder, then jerked her body down at the same time he pressed his hips up.

His cock sank deep with one powerful thrust.

Her eyes widened, her mouth opened, and she seemed to have stopped breathing. He registered all of it, but dimly, because the need to come was an ache in his balls. Her pussy was hot and tight around him, her body seemingly made for him.

“Ariel,” he breathed, her name all he could manage.

She leaned into him, running her hands over his hair like he was something precious that she would never let go of.

He pressed his forehead to hers, their breath mingling, his cock still buried in her. For a moment he found peace, a bliss he hadn’t expected.

But that pent-up desire, the need that had driven him, wasn’t satisfied yet. He released her hip, instead wrapping that arm around her waist, the other reaching up to grip the nape of her neck. He raised her off his cock using the arm around her waist, withdrawing until only the tip was still inside her. Then he slammed her back down.

Ariel sucked in air, then let out a little sob. “I think…I think I’m going to come.”

“You’re going to come on my cock.” Hers had been a bit like a question, but his a statement. A command.

“I’ve never come from just—”

Whatever she was going to say was lost when he lifted her, then slammed her down again.

And again.

She grabbed his face with both hands and kissed him frantically, her mouth moving over his, kissing the corner of his mouth, sucking his lower lip. A savage satisfaction rushed through him as he felt her thighs start to quake. She abandoned kissing him, instead pressing her cheek to his temple, holding him, but not so tightly that he couldn’t manipulate her body, couldn’t lift her up and then pull her down onto his cock.

His own orgasm was building. He was both impressed by how long he’d held off and bitterly disappointed this was coming to an end. Out of the corner of his eye he caught sight of his discarded tie, and beyond that his kit.

This didn’t have to be over. Maybe he wasn’t done with that tie for the evening. God, he hadn’t even finished fucking her and he was already thinking of the next time.

For now what he needed was to make her come. She said she might come just from the fucking, though she never had before. He intended to be the first man to pleasure her this way. And the last.

Again and again he brought her down onto his cock, making a place for himself within the warm heat of her pussy.

He cupped her breast, finding her nipple with his thumb. He rolled her nipple then flicked it, listening to her breathing change as he did, learning what she liked.

“Robert, please,” she begged.

He didn’t know what she was begging for, but he knew what he needed. He needed to hear her cry out in pleasure. He needed to feel her grip him so tight it felt like she’d never let him go.

He fucked her harder, finding a rhythm between his cock and the hand on her breast that ensured her breathing was uneven. He kept it up until she was moaning in pleasure each time he thrust in. Then he took her over the edge, gave her that bit of pain that would ensure her pleasure.

He buried his face against her shoulder and bit her at the same time he pinched her nipple and twisted.

Ariel moaned—a sound of pure desire. Her pussy clamped down hard on his cock, and then he was coming, the pleasure he felt with Ariel making him realize he hadn’t really understood the meaning of the word until this moment. They held one another tight as the storm of sensuality passed over and through them.

Ariel slumped onto him, the last of the tension leaving her body. Reluctantly, he pulled her off his cock. He shifted so he was holding her in his arms, then managed to get up, walking the two steps to the bed. He laid her down in the center. He moved to the small bathroom and took care of the condom. He washed up and rejoined her, not bothering with clothes.

When she started to curl onto her side he stopped her with gentle hands.

“No, baby, I want to look at you.” He grasped her knees, forcing her legs apart enough that he could see her core. “You’re going to keep those legs spread because I want to see your pussy.”

Ariel’s eyes, which had been half closed, widened.

“Rob?”

He bent and scooped up his discarded tie, holding it up for her to see. “I’m not done with you.”

She licked her lower lip, and his dick, which should have been satisfied, twitched.

“That was what we needed. We needed to fuck. I needed to take you hard and fast. But I didn’t get to take my time the way I wanted,” he informed her. “Now it’s time to play.”