“It’s no big deal,” Nick told Remi later that morning. “She’s a friend, and I’m doing her a favor. Nothing more.”
The baby hopped up and down in the jumping seat he’d affixed in a doorway. She chewed on her fist, drool pooling around her chubby fingers.
“No one believes me,” he continued, taking her silence for agreement. “This isn’t about my feelings for Brynn. I’d make the offer for anyone.”
Remi gurgled and bounced with enthusiasm.
“Okay, maybe not for Cyndi Jennings.” He stared at the baby, hands on hips. “When the candle burned down her living room, I wasn’t about to offer to move her into my house. She kept telling me how limber she was because of her gymnast history.”
When the baby continued to bounce, her attention now focused on the ceiling, Nick let out a sigh. He’d thought it strange when Brynn talked to Remi like she could understand, but he found himself having one-sided conversations more often than not.
Remi might not be able to respond with words, but it still felt like she was a good listener.
Voices at the front of his house had him moving toward the door. Teddy barked and trotted along at his side. “Best behavior,” he warned the dog. “We’re both going to be on our best behavior while they’re here.”
The black Lab whined low in his throat.
“No matter how hard it is for either of us.”
He opened the door as Kaitlin walked up the porch steps followed by Tyler holding a pillow tight between his arms and carrying a backpack that looked like it weighed about as much as he did.
“Can I help?”
“Is Remi awake or napping?” Tyler asked, scratching Teddy’s soft head.
“In her jumper seat in the kitchen. If you want to go check on her, I’ll help your mom unload the car.”
“There’s not much,” Kaitlin told him. “She only packed enough for a few days. I think she’s still hoping that Josh will perform some renovation miracle.”
“If anyone can, it would be Josh, but I doubt it.”
“It was nice of you to let her stay here.” Kaitlin looked over her shoulder. “Finn and I would have been happy to have them but...”
“She has a hard time accepting help.” Nick sighed. “I’ve known her long enough that I could get away with bullying her into it.”
“I doubt you bullied her,” Kaitlin said with a laugh.
“I think Remi being here sealed the deal. You can put the suitcases at the bottom of the staircase. I’ll get the rest.”
She nodded but her brows drew together as if she wanted to say more. Whatever it was, Nick didn’t want to hear it, so he jogged down the front walk to Brynn’s compact Toyota.
The sun was just rising, and a light wind had picked up, reminding him that although it didn’t snow often in this part of the state, winter was fully on its way.
“You travel light,” he said, offering her a smile, which he noticed she didn’t return.
“I ruined it.” She tugged her lower lip between her front teeth. “A few weeks before Christmas and I’ve ruined everything.”
The pain in her voice made his heart hurt. He grasped her arms and squeezed. “Nothing is ruined, Brynn.”
“Tyler’s already been through so much this year and now we’re going to be displaced for Christmas.” She tried to laugh but it came out sounding more like a sob. “Imagine the years of therapy he’s going to need to process all of this. I’m the worst moth—”
“Don’t say that.” He placed a finger to her mouth. “You’re a fantastic mom. Yes, he’s had trauma, but you’re seeing him through it. If he needs counseling when he’s older, you’ll support him through that, as well. Hell, I see enough people in my job that could use someone to talk to. There’s no shame.”
She swiped at her cheeks. “I’d never make him feel ashamed. Unfortunately, I’m another story.”
He could see the dark circles under her eyes and the sharp pull of worry at the corners of her mouth. “You’re exhausted, sweetheart.”
“Great. On top everything else, I look like crap.”
“I didn’t say that.” Nick let her go and picked up a duffel bag as she closed the trunk. “You’re always beautiful. But a fire is upsetting for anyone. Let’s go inside, have something to eat and then you and Tyler can get some rest.”
“Nick.”
“Yes?”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“What?”
“Call me beautiful.” She strapped her purse to one shoulder and began to wheel her suitcase up the walk. “It’s the second time you’ve made the comment in the past week. I’ve never been beautiful, and at this point in my life, I don’t care. You don’t have to try to placate me.”
“I’m a lot of things,” he told her, as he followed. “But I don’t lie, and I won’t blow sunshine up anyone’s skirt. Even yours. I’m telling you you’re beautiful because it’s true, Brynn. Whether you choose to believe me is on you.”
They got to the porch and he grabbed the suitcase’s handle when she would have lifted it. “Let me get that. You and Tyler will be staying upstairs. I moved Remi to the sitting room so Ty can have the spare bedroom and she’ll be across the hall. You’ll have the master.”
“I can’t take your bedroom,” she said, sounding shocked that he’d made the suggestion.
“It’s already done.” He entered the house and gave Teddy a quick scratch between the ears. “I’ve moved my things to the office on the first floor. It has a pullout couch.”
“Nick, no.”
“Mom, come and watch Remi jump,” Tyler hollered from the kitchen.
“Go ahead,” Nick said with a smile. “I’ll bring the bags upstairs.”
“Leave mine down here,” she told him. “I don’t mind the pullout.”
Like hell he was going to put her on a lumpy sofa-bed mattress. Nick could sleep wherever, so the arrangement suited him fine.
“Mom!”
“Coming,” she called. “We’re not done with this discussion,” she said to Nick’s back.
She could discuss it until the cows came home. Nick wasn’t going to change his mind. It took two trips to transfer all of the luggage upstairs. He deposited it in their respective bedrooms, replacing the pillow in the spare room with the one Tyler brought. He wished the boy had more things to make him feel at home.
He made his way back downstairs as Kaitlin was leaving.
“Thanks for your help,” he told her. Her car was parked at the curb in front of Brynn’s.
“If this doesn’t work out, she’s welcome with us.” She gave him an expectant look. “I know Mara and Parker feel the same.”
“She’s fine here.”
The blonde didn’t look convinced. “Finn says you’re in love with her,” she said in a hushed tone. Her hand tightened on the doorknob.
“Finn talks too much,” Nick grumbled. “Brynn and I are friends, and I haven’t been a very good one. I’m making up for lost time.”
“She needs someone who will put her first in his life.” She studied Nick. “Mara and I still have a number of potential suitors in mind.”
“Suitors?” Nick choked out a laugh to hide the irritation that flamed in his chest. “Is this the eighteenth century? I’m sure Brynn is plenty capable of finding herself a date if she wants one.”
“She wants one.” Kaitlin clearly wasn’t going to argue the point. “We promised her twelve dates before Christmas.”
“I heard,” he muttered.
“She’s been on two so far.”
He wondered if the pretty blonde could hear his teeth grinding. “I know.”
“We discussed the number of dates but not who she’d go out with. The point isn’t for her to meet a dozen different men. I’ll admit Mara and I hoped she’d meet a nice man and have multiple dates with him.” Kaitlin leaned in closer like she was telling him a secret. “With her Mr. Right. Any ideas of whom that might be?”
Nick’s breath stuttered to a halt in his lungs. He couldn’t imagine Brynn’s friends would think he’d make a good match. Not when Finn and Parker understood how badly he’d treated her in high school. And they knew about his vow regarding love. Dating and a moratorium on love didn’t exactly go hand in hand.
“I’m not right for her.” The words sounded rough as they rolled off his tongue.
“She’s got a lot going on right now,” Kaitlin said as if he hadn’t spoken. “It would be nice if someone she trusted could help her enjoy the next few weeks. She deserves a special Christmas. She and Tyler both.”
He nodded. “Yeah, they do.” Maybe he wasn’t perfect or right for her, but he’d vowed to himself to help her through this Christmas. Maybe the fact that her friend seemed to support the idea meant he wasn’t so ill-fitted for the role, after all. At least temporarily. “I’ll do my best.”
Kaitlin gave him a slow smile. “That’s all anyone can do.”
* * *
Brynn stared at the ceiling of Nick’s bedroom late that night, wishing she could fall asleep. She was afraid to nod off to dreams of Nick and then wake in the morning alone in his bed.
She was lying in Nick’s bed. They’d argued about where she should sleep, but in the end, it had been Tyler who’d convinced her to give up the fight. As the boy’s bedtime had drawn closer, he’d gotten an almost haunted look on his face. The same look she remembered from the weeks after Daniel’s death. He’d taken her hand and asked how far her bedroom was from the one he was staying in.
The vulnerability in his eyes had torn her heart open all over again. She’d offered that he could sleep in the bed with her, but her sweet, brave son had insisted that he’d be fine in his own bed.
Nick had told the boy they were safe, and that Nick would be right there if anything happened or if Brynn, Tyler or Remi needed him. Tyler had listened intently and then let out a heavy sigh, his shoulders deflating as if they’d been carrying a heavy weight.
He’d put on a brave face when she picked him up from school earlier that afternoon to pack his bag and move what was salvageable from the family room. Tears had lodged in her throat as she’d taken in the damage from the soggy carpet to the smoke-stained furniture.
After meeting with the insurance agent, she’d spoken with Josh at the mill and he’d promised to start the restoration work as soon as possible and that his crew would make the house even better than it had been.
Better was good but with all of the changes pummeling them, Brynn could have done without updated appliances if it meant a little consistency in her world.
She threw back the covers and placed her feet on the thick rug that took up most of the floor. How in the world was she supposed to sleep with Nick’s scent surrounding her all night? He’d told her the sheets were clean, but under the freshness of laundry detergent was his smell. She’d hung her clothes next to his in the closet, and it had taken a monumental effort to resist burying her face in his shirts.
Her body felt charged with electricity, and tonight was only the beginning.
No, she scolded herself. She would not freak out about Nick’s smell or the way his laugh rumbled through her when he reacted to the jokes Tyler liked to tell.
But she appreciated being able to put Remi down for bed and then tuck in her son without having to get in her car and drive to a different house.
Nick had been right that being together would make them feel like a family. Remi was a great distraction for Tyler, a silver lining in the dark cloud of the fire damage. If only Brynn didn’t notice how well Nick fit into their little family.
She straightened from the bed and slipped across the hall, quietly opening the door to Tyler’s bedroom. Her son was sprawled across the mattress, the raggedy stuffed bear he’d packed clasped in his arms. Cleo had been his favorite lovey since he was a baby, although now the well-worn bear spent most of its time on the bookshelf of his bedroom.
Watching him sleep with Cleo tonight made Brynn nostalgic for the passage of time.
After shutting the door again, she went to check on Remi, who was also sleeping soundly. Then Brynn padded down the stairs and headed for the kitchen. Maybe a glass of milk would settle her nerves.
A light glowed from the partially open doorway of Nick’s office. Her breath felt like it was coming out in strangled puffs as she moved toward it, drawn forward even though her rational mind warned she should run back up the stairs and not come out of the bedroom again until morning.
She knocked lightly and heard his answered greeting like she were listening from under a wave, his voice muffled from the pounding between her ears.
The office had an oversize cherry desk situated in front of the window and bookshelves lined one wall. On the wall to the other side of the door was the sofa bed. It looked to be at least full-size and not as uncomfortable as she’d imagined.
Nothing prepared her for the sight of a shirtless Nick propped against several fluffy pillows, a laptop open in front of him with a screen displaying...
“Is that the Lego website?” She stepped into the small room, still reeling from half-naked Nick but also confused and touched at what his browsing selection might mean.
“Tyler said the set he’d been working on in the family room melted.” He shrugged, one big shoulder lifting, then lowering. Her attention focused on his body once again.
She’d seen Nick shirtless plenty of times when they were younger. The two of them would swim at the lake or run through the sprinklers in his family’s backyard. And then in high school when it seemed like the entire football team took pains to parade around shirtless after practice.
But being with him in this cozy room reminded her how much had changed. Nick was a man in his prime and she was a late-twenties single mom of soon-to-be two kids with stretch marks on her breasts and hips.
If the rest of their differences didn’t make clear why she was not a good match for Nick, the physical comparison—and there was no comparison—certainly would. Still, she wanted to beg him like some kind of obsessed fan girl to always walk around with no shirt while she was in the house.
“You don’t have to do that,” she said. “I have a plan for Christmas.”
“I want to help,” he answered simply. “Are you having trouble sleeping?”
She nodded. “On my way to the kitchen for a glass of milk.”
He flipped back the covers to reveal a pair of loose gym shorts. “I can get it for you,” he said, reaching for a T-shirt on the floor next to the bed.
“Don’t.”
The word came out sharper than she’d expected, and Nick paused and glanced at up her. His brows furrowed like her outburst didn’t make sense, but his eyes darkened as if he could read her mind. “Don’t go to the kitchen?”
“Don’t put on the shirt.”
She stepped closer. Her body hummed with awareness. She should back away, walk out of the office and shut the door behind her. What was she doing in here?
There were so many reasons this was a mistake, but at the moment Brynn didn’t care about any of them. The sensations rolling through her were both unfamiliar and not. Worry and anxiety were constant companions, but they took a back seat to her visceral desire.
Would it be so bad to give in to it? Even for one night.
It had been so long since she’d done something for herself. Oh, her friends had talked to her about “self-care” after Daniel’s death. She’d read plenty of articles that said a mom had to be good to herself in order to take care of her kids.
No at-home spa treatement or binge-worthy series in the world would compare to touching Nick.
He didn’t speak as she took his hand and then sat down next to him, the thin mattress depressing under their combined weight. His chest rose and fell in ragged breaths and his gaze was intense on her, filled with so much need it was difficult to believe this was the same man who’d kept his distance from her this past decade.
With trembling fingers, she reached out and placed her hand on his shoulder. She traced a line along his collarbone, need pooling low in her belly at the heat and softness of his skin.
There was a scar just below his biceps, a tiny mark she wasn’t familiar with, which meant it had happened when he was an adult. She knew the dot of graphite from where Tommy Lencner had poked Nick with a pencil during a fifth-grade sword fight. One that had landed both of them with detention.
“What is it?” she whispered, fascinated by the raised skin.
“Knife wound,” he said, his voice gruff.
She sucked in a breath.
“Not a big deal. It was my first year on the force and I was careless during a meth-lab bust. Surface wound. That’s all, Brynn.”
“Why didn’t I know about this?”
What else didn’t she know?
“Not many people did.” He covered her hand with his. “I made a rookie mistake, so the fewer people who knew the better, as far as I was concerned.”
“You could have been killed.” She raised her gaze to his. “Any day you could be killed.”
“That’s not going to happen.” He flashed a cocky smile. “I’m smarter now.”
“Your job is dangerous.” She flattened her palm on his chest. His heart raced. “You risk your life to serve the town.”
He stiffened, as if a cold burst of air chased across the space between them. “Don’t make me into something I’m not.”
“What kind of something?”
He laughed without humor. “A hero.”
“I don’t need a hero.” She licked her lips, swayed closer to him.
“What do you need, Brynn?”
Color stained his cheeks and a muscle ticked in his jaw, like it was taking every inch of strength he had to control his reaction to her.
Suddenly, Brynn was filled with the need to lose control and take Nick Dunlap along with her.
Without letting rational thought have a vote in the decision, she pressed her mouth to his.