Chapter Eleven

The Minions took off running. They turned down one of the stone corridors in the abbey, trying to lose the angry crowd, but the villains followed close behind them. When they got to the end of the hall, they crashed through one of the stained glass windows. Seconds later, the villains came out of the cathedral, smashing through the brick wall.

As the Minions took off into the streets of London, one of the villains hurled a grenade at them. It landed just a few feet away, exploding in a ball of flames. The Minions darted into a telephone booth, trying to hide, but a villain in a terrifying hockey mask chased them out of it with a chainsaw. Another villain in a Soviet tank emerged from the ground, coming after Kevin, Stuart, and Bob with a huge ax.

“You’re mine!” the Soviet villain cried.

“Stuart! Bob!” Kevin yelled when he got separated from his friends. Within seconds, he could no longer see them in the crowd. A villain with a long silver sword chased Kevin around and around a telephone pole, but Kevin managed to escape.

He kept glancing back, waiting to see Stuart or Bob emerge from the crowd, but they never did. He’d hoped they’d found some other escape route. They must’ve broken away from the villains when he wasn’t looking. He kept running, his tiny legs sore from the effort, until he saw a pub up ahead. THE PIG’S SPLEEN read a sign out front. It seemed like a decent place to hide.

He ducked inside, watching as the crowd of villains ran past. The pub was packed with people. A smaller group was huddled around a woman by the bar, laughing as she told them a joke.

“Why did the queen go to the dentist?” the woman asked. “To get her teeth crowned!”

Kevin recognized the woman’s voice immediately. “La queena!” he cried, listening as she told another joke. He walked right up to her, offering a small smile. “Uh… bello…,” he said.

The queen narrowed her blue eyes at him. “Oh. It’s you,” she said. “Everyone, this is one of the little fellows who stole the monarchy from me. And how’s that working out for you?”

Kevin started telling the queen about the trouble he was in, but she stopped him. “Yes, yes. I saw what was happening on the telly.” She pointed to the television set behind the bar. It showed the front of Westminster Abbey. A reporter was speaking into the camera, until Scarlet pushed him out of the way.

“Kevin, I know you’re out there!” she yelled into the camera. “You think you’ve gotten away? Well, what do we have here?”

She reached down, pulling Stuart and Bob into the frame. They were both tied up. “Oh my goodness,” Scarlet went on. “Which one shall I kill first? Little Bob? Stuart? Bob? Stuart? Hmmm? I will do it, Kevin, if you’re not back here by dawn!”

She kicked the camera over, and the screen went to static.

“Oh dear…,” the queen muttered.

But Kevin kept staring at the blank screen, thinking about his friends. He wasn’t going to just stand there and let Scarlet kill them—not now, not ever.

“Buddies!” he yelled as he stormed out of the pub. “Lo peto Scarlet!”

Kevin moved through the alley in the dark and toward the back entrance of the castle, where he entered through one of the air vents. He crawled along inside it until he found a quiet hallway. He pushed the grate off and stood up in the corridor.

He looked around, realizing he was in Herb’s laboratory. It was the perfect place to gear up for his big mission. He grabbed the Lava-Lamp Gun and loaded it up, then grabbed a phaser, too. Some dynamite… some knives… a rocket backpack…

You could never be too prepared.

When he was done, he stared at his reflection in the mirror on the wall. He looked ready for battle!

But suddenly, Kevin heard the crowd of villains breaking down the door to the lab! He realized that they must have seen him enter the castle. He began to run, but he had nowhere to go. The villains were quickly closing in. That’s when he accidentally stumbled into Herb’s Ultimate Weapon. He tried hitting buttons, trying to make the doors close. Instead, he punched in the exact right sequence of buttons and levers, and activated the device. That machine was working!

“Ultimate Weapon initiated…,” a mechanical voice announced. The machine started counting down to zero.

“Three… two… one…,” the mechanical voice said. Before it could finish, the villains burst into Herb’s laboratory. The sumo wrestler led the way, ready to smash Kevin and the Ultimate Weapon. But the machine had already been activated. Kevin grew… and grew… and grew… until he was thirty stories tall. He broke every wall and window, nearly crushing the villains who pursued him.

“Bello!” Kevin laughed once he was full size. He looked over the glittering city below. As the villains scattered in every direction, he knew what he had to do next.

“Les buddies!” he cried. Then he stomped off to find them.