I steered, pumped the breaks and screamed as the car toppled over the edge. But at the last second before gravity took hold and tossed me to a painful death, it stopped and then hung, one wheel on the verge, teetering on the brink.
I’d forgotten how to breathe. I couldn’t move, one inch to either side could be fatal. The car rocked gently, trying to decide between my salvation and my death. I had to get out, waiting for help was not an option. I undid my seatbelt and carefully released it but even that tiny movement caused the car to groan and lean forwards even more. My stomach rolled with fear and panic and I blinked away tears.
Suddenly my driver door was flung open, there was someone there – a man – but I was too scared to move to look.
The car was already rocking with this new movement and I wanted to scream out to him to be careful, to move slowly, but all words were stuck in my throat.
The man was not cautious though. There was nothing gentle or slow about his movements. He reached into the car and in one swift, violent gesture yanked me out into his arms. I flung my arms around my rescuer, he staggered back and as we hit the floor I realised with sickening clarity that it was Harry.
‘Harry?’
‘Hi.’
‘Harry, oh God.’
Sobs tore from my throat. Relief, adrenaline, joy and terror surged through me and I wrapped my hands round his neck and kissed him. I didn’t understand why he was here, but right then I didn’t need to. I felt tears soak my cheeks as he pulled me tight against him, kissing me back. His hands were around my face, in my hair. The kiss became more urgent, needful and a noise escaped from his throat that sounded like a moan. But I couldn’t stop.
‘Are you guys ok?’ came a voice from above and I snatched my mouth from Harry’s in shock.
Two policemen were standing on the road, they had obviously stopped after they had seen my car teetering on the edge.
I looked back at Harry. I couldn’t believe I had just been kissing him.
‘I’m so sorry… I just…’ I was still crying and shaking. He held my face gently, kissed my forehead, wiped the tears from my eyes and kissed me on the mouth – a short, sweet kiss. Not a proper kiss, not how I had been kissing him before, with my tongue in his mouth. God, had my tongue really been in his mouth? How embarrassing.
‘Are you ok?’
I nodded
‘Are you hurt?’
I shook my head.
He arched an eyebrow at me. ‘Can you speak?’
‘Not right now.’
He smiled slightly.
I wanted to get off him, it seemed inappropriate to be lying on top of him after what I had just subjected him to, but my fingers were wrapped tightly in his shirt, and I couldn’t work out how to loosen them. Although he didn’t seem that bothered by it.
‘We’ll be right up,’ Harry called to the officers, then he returned his gentle gaze to me. ‘As reluctant as I am to move from this position, I think we need to get up now.’
I couldn’t stop shaking and I was starting to feel numb all over. I couldn’t actually move and he seemed to realise that. Harry sat up, shifting me carefully onto his lap and then stood up, with me still in his arms so he was carrying me like a baby.
‘One moment,’ he said to the men as he approached them.
I heard them talking as we walked past. ‘I’ve helped a lot of women in my time – I’ve never been kissed like that before,’ said one.
‘Me neither.’
I blushed and looked away so Harry wouldn’t see me.
Harry walked back towards his red SUV which had been abandoned in the middle of the road. He sat me in the driver’s seat and wrapped his coat tightly round me. He turned the heating on full blast, kissed me on the forehead and left me alone in the car.
I watched him talk to the men. I wondered what he was telling them about what had happened. There were a lot of hand gestures but the police were laughing now – Harry was working his charm as always. My little car didn’t seem to be going anywhere, which made my overreaction even more embarrassing.
I watched as they attached a rope from my car to the police car and, with a little bit of coercion and help from Harry and the other officer, they pulled my car back onto the road. And after a few more laughs, Harry grabbed my things from the car and came back to me.
‘How you doing?’ he said, motioning for me to scoot over so he could get in.
‘I’m feeling a bit silly.’
‘What? Why? It was an accident. Nothing to feel silly about.’
‘I thought I was going to die.’
‘I thought you were going to die too, scared me half to death when I saw you go over the edge. I literally have never been so terrified before in my entire life.’
I looked at him as he started the car.
Is that why he’d kissed me back, because he’d been scared as well? We should really speak about the kiss. It lay unspoken between us.
‘What happened anyway? One minute you were driving along, the next you just went over the cliff. Did you fall asleep at the wheel or something?’
‘It was a deer, I just swerved and the next thing I know I’m going over the edge.’
‘Pesky deer.’
He was smiling hugely to himself, as if the whole thing was hilarious. He waved his thanks at the police and turned the car around to head back to the town where my hotel was.
‘What about my car?’
‘The police are going to drive it back, they’re heading that way anyway.’
‘What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be in New York.’
‘I wanted to catch you up. I was going to surprise you.’
‘You did that all right, I was very surprised to see you.’
He laughed. ‘I could tell.’
Oh no, the kiss. How was I going to explain that?
I was still shaking and I buried myself deep in his coat, relishing his wonderful scent that washed over my senses. There was a small tear in his sleeve and I desperately tried to focus my attention on that instead of the forthcoming explanation.
*
Soft voices pulled me from my sleep. I opened one eye and realised I was lying on Harry’s chest, his arm clamped tightly round my shoulders. After we’d returned to the hotel, to Harry’s room which he had quite obviously slept in the night before, Harry had called the car rental place to discuss insurance – and informed Silver Linings and Sunlounger too in case they needed to know. I must have fallen asleep shortly after that, and now he was here by my side, holding me tight. None of it made any sense; that he was here when he should have been still in New York. And even more confusing was that Chloe was clearly here with him too.
‘So she kissed you?’ Chloe said. I couldn’t see her from where I was lying and I kept very still to listen to the conversation.
‘Yeah I know,’ said Harry. ‘Don’t look at me like that, it didn’t mean anything, she was terrified.’
‘I’ve been terrified quite a few times in my life, I’ve never kissed anyone like that because of it.’
‘She was just pleased to see me.’
‘I’d say.’
Chloe seemed really annoyed by this latest development. I was clearly stepping on toes. She liked him, that much was clear.
‘It didn’t mean anything,’ Harry repeated.
I sat up and looked at Chloe and back down at Harry. ‘I’m sorry,’ I muttered, moving to get off the bed but Harry stopped me.
‘Where are you going?’
‘Back to my room.’
‘Oh no you’re not. Not a chance,’ Harry said, vehemently. ‘Chloe will sleep in your room tonight.’
This was obviously news to Chloe as she glared at Harry but he just glared back at her.
‘Please, I don’t want to get in the middle of something. I’m sorry, I really am.’ I moved to leave again, but Harry physically stopped me.
Chloe stood up and stalked out the room.
I stared at Harry and I knew the topic of the kiss just wasn’t going to go away.
‘Please don’t,’ I whispered. ‘Just don’t. I’m sorry I kissed you, I was scared and ridiculously pleased to see you. Please don’t read anything into it. Let’s enjoy this trip. We’re going to travel the world and have an amazing time and I’d like to do that without this awkward cloud hanging over our heads.’
He stared at me and I wished for the thousandth time that I could read his thoughts, it would make everything so much simpler.
‘So… we’re just going to forget it ever happened and never speak of it again?’
‘Yes.’
I willed him to drop it. If he wanted to know why I had kissed him, if he pushed me for an answer, I feared everything would come out and where would that leave our friendship then? If we couldn’t be together then I still wanted him as a friend, I needed him as a friend. I wouldn’t have been able to get through the last few months without him by my side and I wanted to be there for him too – to see him happy, settling down, maybe having kids. I didn’t want to ruin that with a declaration of my undying love.
‘You kissed me.’
Oh crap, he really wasn’t going to let this go.
‘As a friend. We’re friends. We hug and stuff all the time, it didn’t mean anything.’
‘Right.’ He seemed angry. ‘That’s all that was then, a friend kiss? Because it felt like a hell of a lot more than that to me.’
‘I was scared, relieved. Please don’t push this. It will ruin everything between us.’
He stared at me for a moment, clearly wanting to dig deeper, but he didn’t. ‘We better get some sleep. We have an early start tomorrow.’
I nodded and lay down with my head on his chest again. He didn’t push me off but he didn’t hold me either. After a few minutes of me lying there awkwardly, feeling unwanted, I rolled off him. A few moments after that, he rolled over to face away from me.
SECRET BLOG
I’m so confused. After rescuing Suzie from a near fatal car accident, we kissed – well she kissed me and I damned well kissed her back. It was incredible, it was everything I hoped it would be and more. There was real feeling in that kiss. In that moment I knew that she felt the same for me too.
But afterwards she brushed it off, said it didn’t mean anything. She said it would ruin everything between us if I pushed it.
I was so disappointed. Chloe was furious that she would toy with me like that. She’s gone back to New York and wanted me to come with her. But I’ve stayed. I need to talk to Suzie about this.
You guys have been brilliant so far with your support and although I don’t always agree with your methods, I would appreciate your take on this.
COMMENTS
Megan Wood says: She loves you, definitely. You don’t kiss someone like that if you don’t have feelings for them. I don’t care how scared someone is. That kiss meant something to her and she’s denying it because she’s scared you don’t feel the same way.
Victoria Stone says: I want to fly out there and bang your heads together. You love her, she loves you, just tell her. What’s holding you back?
Harry Forbes says: I wish it was that simple Victoria. Issues from my childhood have left me fearing rejection as much as someone with acute arachnophobia fears spiders. I’ve tried, believe me I have. Many times over the last two years, I’ve plucked up the courage to give her my heart and every time I’ve been left a sweating quivering wreck. That was the whole point of these proposals, so I could show her how much she meant to me rather than actually telling her. But I know she needs to hear the words, she said as much herself. I will tell her… one day.
Tilly Tennant says: I’m new to this secret blog but even without reading all the entries, I’d have to agree with the others. She loves you, any fool can see that.
Kirsty MacLennan says: She loves you. Kiss her again and this time don’t stop until you’re both sweaty and naked.
Laura Lovelock says: She definitely loves you, what are you waiting for?
*
Proposer’s Blog
Day 31: The Fossilised Proposal. Location: Athabasca Glacier.
A fantastic journey across the Icefields Parkway towards the glacier. We saw moose, elk and a fleeting glimpse of a wolf on the trip through the wilderness. Suzie was like a child as she excitedly pointed out all the sights.
We boarded what can only be described as a 4x4 bus, with huge, thick wheels, to travel across the Glacier.
The beauty of the place was staggering. Where before we have viewed the incredible mountain landscape at a distance, today we were literally driving through it, so close to the mountains we could reach out and touch them.
At the midway point we were allowed to step out of the bus onto the glacier, onto the ice and snow that had been there for thousands of years.
Everyone was busy taking photos and touching the ice and the mountains. I tried to guide Suzie surreptitiously towards where the pre-prepared proposal was. Things have been a bit awkward between us today and after sitting on the bus together almost in silence, I think she was relieved to be able to get away from me, even for a short while. Which didn’t help the proposal. We only had limited time on the ice before we were to re-board the bus and make our way back to our hotel. I wanted her to find the proposal herself but short of grabbing her and frog marching her towards it, I was at a bit of a loss about what to do.
Suddenly someone else found it, another one of the tourists. And with the screams and shouts from this couple, everyone came running to see what they had found underneath the ice, including thankfully Suzie. It wasn’t the discreet proposal I had been hoping for, but the crowd effect is always a good one.
As Suzie pushed her way through the people, she saw it too. In a lump of ice and snow, looking like it had been there for hundreds of years, was the proposal written in stones and twigs. I had asked an ice sculptor to create it and then the Ice Explorer crew had placed it onto the glacier the day before and poured water over it to freeze it in place.
The effect was stunning. Suzie’s face, as she looked around for me, was an absolute picture. The crowd realised the proposal was meant for her and as she approached me they all started cheering. I got down on one knee and then there was silence as they waited for her answer. For the first time I honestly thought I was going to get one too.
She bent down and whispered in my ear. ‘Get up and hug me or I’ll never hear the end of it.’
So I did and the crowd roared, thinking she had said yes. Not the romantic ending I was hoping for, but still she was smiling all the way back to the hotel, which was definitely something.
Proposer’s Blog
Day 32: The Chainsaw Sculpture Proposal. Location: Lake Louise.
We had the day to explore Lake Louise so we hired a car and drove round the lake, the small town and into the mountains. The lake is the most gorgeous turquoise colour and it just looks startling against the backdrop of the mountains.
But I wanted Suzie to see something else. Max Cordwain is a chainsaw artist who lives nearby. With the use of chainsaws and other power tools he can quickly and skilfully produce the most magnificent sculptures and works of art.
As we drove up, great wooden horses and bears adorned the driveway to his house, accompanied by tiny intricate fairies and birds. The man clearly had loads of talent.
Unfortunately he was the best looking bloke I had ever seen in my entire life. This man literally had a square jaw, his muscles were huge, dark curly hair that fell over his eyes as he worked, thighs like tree trunks. If I had been gay, I would have been fawning all over him too.
Yes, as he carved my proposal into this deep red wood, Suzie couldn’t take her eyes off him for one second. It didn’t help that halfway through the carving, he took his top off, and stood half naked as he tore manfully through the trunk of the tree, gliding his tools with ease – like a knife through butter. To say Suzie was turned on would be a massive understatement. She barely noticed the proposal come to life under his hands, she only had eyes for him.
I’m a big man but as she stared at him with lust filled eyes, I have never felt so inadequate and small before. I don’t think she even noticed I was there. I felt like getting back in the car and driving off and leaving them to it.
Finally he produced the finished piece and handed her the beautiful plaque with the words carved in big chunky letters. She barely gave it a glance.
I was not impressed.
My advice my dear would-be proposers: if you enlist help in your proposals, make sure the people helping you are as ugly as sin first.
I felt bad about that proposal, of course I did. Max had been gorgeous, I admit that. He was the first person other than Harry that I’d imagined doing wicked and dirty things to for over two years. I was surprised to feel such an urge when I met Max. It probably hadn’t helped that since I had kissed Harry, he had started to pull away from me. I could feel him distancing himself from me. We talked and things were still sort of friendly on the surface but there was this… awkwardness between us now that had never been there before. He obviously knew how I felt and was trying to push me away. So I suppose I appreciated Max a bit too much to try to show Harry I wasn’t really interested in him. Harry had been quite annoyed.
What I hadn’t expected was the reaction of the followers on the blog. Since Harry had posted the chainsaw proposal the day before, the followers’ comments had been quite nasty and I had received five rather hurtful emails from followers telling me what a cow I was.
‘Harry is lovely and beautiful, you don’t deserve him you bitch,’ said one.
‘I can’t believe he is going to all this effort to show how much he loves you and you would rather spend your time ogling the woodcutter, what a complete and utter cow,’ said another.
Talk about completely misunderstanding the situation.
‘You’re either blind, gay, stupid or just an attention seeking slut, which is it? Either way I don’t think much of Harry’s taste in women.’
‘So your brother dies, Harry spends months helping you pick up the pieces, he takes you around the world and proposes to you in incredible and beautiful ways and you take a shine to the first person who flashes a bit of flesh. You ungrateful, stuck up tart.’
‘Harry deserves so much better than you, you make me sick. You fuc-’
Harry walked into the hotel room, distracting me from the laptop. I quickly closed the screen so he wouldn’t see the emails. He was obviously cold from being outside as he rubbed his hands together to get warm.
He stopped when he saw me. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing, just answering emails and stuff, nothing important.’
He tilted his head. ‘You look upset.’
‘No, I’m fine.’ I was annoyed with how not fine my voice was. They were right, I was a horrible person.
Harry was still not convinced and I cursed that he knew me so well. He moved to take the laptop off me, I held onto it, but he was stronger and he forced it out of my grasp.
He opened it up and started reading. His face turned to thunder.
‘What the hell is this?’
‘It doesn’t matter.’
‘Of course it matters. How dare they write those things to you.’
I sighed. ‘It doesn’t help, though, that you write these blog pieces like you’re in love with me and I end up looking like the bad guy because I’m not saying yes to any of these proposals. I know that’s what Silver Linings wants to see, all romance and flowers and birds singing but that’s simply not the case at all. We’re just friends and I think our followers need to know that.’
He stared at me for what seemed like an eternity. ‘Just friends?’
‘I don’t mean just friends, you’re so much more than a friend to me…’ I trailed off. Oh what a tangled web we weave. ‘You’ve been incredible after Jack, through all of this, you mean the world to me and I…’
‘I’m going to take care of this, don’t think about it again. Get yourself ready, we need to leave in half an hour.’
With the laptop under his arm, he stormed out.
Our nice relaxing trip on the lake this afternoon wasn’t looking so promising now. I had hoped it would be fun and we could somehow recapture the cosy bond between us. As the door slammed behind him, that prospect was looking less and less likely.
*
Harry’s mood hadn’t improved at all by the time we stood on the shores of Lake Louise an hour later. He wouldn’t tell me what he had said to the people who had emailed me but evidently it wasn’t nice.
We had hired two canoes to take us to the furthest shores, and a half hour’s walk from there was a log cabin we were going to spend the night in. I couldn’t imagine anything more romantic, even though the mood hanging between us at the moment was anything but romantic.
Harry took off, his powerful arms ploughing through the water, whilst I seemed to struggle to go in a straight line. The lake was big but the people who had rented the canoes seemed hopeful we could traverse it in about half an hour. I wasn’t hopeful that we could reach the other side before nightfall and it wasn’t even lunchtime yet.
Somehow I managed to get into a rhythm, and pointed myself in the right direction. But after a few short minutes my shoulders and back were screaming with the exertion of using muscles I hadn’t even known existed, let alone used before. I stopped for a breather. When Harry had mentioned it to me the day before, I’d imagined it would be fun. I was sweating, aching, out of breath and I’d barely crossed a third of the lake.
Harry seemed to realise I was struggling and within a few minutes he was back by my side.
‘You ok?’ He glided effortlessly through the water towards me.
‘It’s a lot harder than it looks.’
‘Nah, it’s easy. Come on, we’re nearly there.’
We were not nearly there, but the thought of sitting by the fire in that little log cabin kept me going.
Harry turned and headed towards the far shore again, and soon there was a huge gap between us. As hard and as fast as I was trying, I didn’t seem to be moving at all.
Harry came back for me again. ‘Let me tow you.’ He offered a rope.
‘No, I’m fine, you go on ahead. I’ll be there soon.’
He sighed. ‘Just come a little closer.’ He was clearly still angry, either at me or our followers but I knew when not to argue with him and this was one of those times.
I reluctantly admitted defeat and tried to steer myself towards him, but I missed his hands by a good metre. He leaned out to try to grab the end of the canoe, his canoe toppled with his weight and dumped him into the lake.
‘No, Harry, oh my God, are you ok?’
‘Shit!’ he muttered. ‘Crap, that’s freezing.’
His canoe had turned upside down and I paddled towards it to try to help turn it over.
‘Don’t,’ Harry said through gritted teeth. ‘You’ll only bloody well fall in as well.’
I watched helplessly as he flipped the boat back over and hauled himself out of the icy water. ‘Crap, that’s so frigging cold.’
‘Let’s go back, we could be back in our hotel sooner than we can get to the cabin, and the hotel has hot showers.’
‘No, it’s fine.’
It clearly was not fine, he was shaking so much.
With fumbling fingers he tied the rope to the front of my boat. ‘Harry, please leave it, just get yourself to the cabin, I’ll catch you up.’
He ignored me and soon he was powering through the water, dragging my canoe in his wake.
As we approached the shore I could see a fire blazing away, a picnic blanket, hamper and champagne bucket had been left for us. Harry was nothing if not prepared.
He quickly moored his canoe on the small sandy beach and pulled mine in alongside his. He got out and helped me out too. He was freezing – bunched up and trying to protect himself from the cold as he staggered a few feet to the fire and dropped to his knees by the flames.
‘Let’s leave the picnic,’ I said. ‘Let’s just go straight to the cabin and get changed. We can come back and do this later.’ All our stuff was either already at the cabin or on its way. But even if it wasn’t there, we would be inside, out of the cold, and we could light a fire.
‘It’s half an hour from here, I need to warm up first before I make that walk, I’ll be hypothermic otherwise.’
Hypothermia. Oh God, no. Should I call an ambulance, should I run back along the track to the hotel to get help?
He must have seen me panicking because he forced a smile onto his face.
‘It’s fine, don’t worry. I’ll be fine in a minute.’
To my surprise, he started to strip. His coat, trousers, boots, hoodie, T-shirt, all came off in quick succession and even through my panic I couldn’t help but stand and stare at his glorious body. He wrapped a blanket round himself so he was covered toe to neck and lay down by the fire.
‘What can I do to help?’ I said, hopping from foot to foot nervously.
‘You can get your clothes off and come and join me.’
Of course. Survival 101. Body heat was one of the best ways to help someone with hypothermia. I didn’t hesitate. I stripped as quickly as I could, only leaving my underwear on. The cold mountain air was like knives to my bare skin, but I quickly climbed under the blankets with Harry and lay on top of him, trying to cover his enormous frame with my body.
I tucked the blankets in around his shoulders, took my hat off and pulled it over his head, knowing that a lot of the body heat escaped through the head, then lay still, hoping somehow that I was making a difference to him.
He was cold, but not icy cold – maybe we had caught it early enough, maybe me being with him helped.
‘Suzie.’
I looked up at him.
‘I was actually joking when I said get your clothes off. I kind of expected you to tell me where to shove it.’
‘What?’
‘I never thought for one second you would actually do it.’ His eyes shone with mischief.
‘But… you were hypothermic, I was trying to give you body heat.’ I could feel my cheeks burning red.
‘I’m cold, honey, but I doubt very much whether I’m hypothermic – I don’t think I was in the water for that long. I am very touched though that you would strip off for me so readily.’
I stared at him. ‘You arse.’
He laughed so loudly, so deeply, I could feel the vibrations of it against my body.
I moved to get off him but he held me close. ‘Not a chance, Miss McKenzie. There’s always a possibility that I might be hypothermic after all.’
He laughed again and I joined him. Just like that, the awkwardness of the last few days just vanished.
Proposer’s Blog
Day 33: The Near Death Experience Proposal. Location: Lake Louise.
The wooing is a big part of any proposal, you can’t just pop the question whenever you feel like it. So I arranged a picturesque, tranquil trip across the water of Lake Louise, a romantic picnic by a roaring fire on the shores and then a walk through the snowy forests, past the proposal in front of the log cabin where we were to spend the night.
What I hadn’t accounted for was me falling in the lake and nearly dying of hypothermia. But Suzie came to my rescue, stripping off and lying with me under the blankets to give me some much needed body heat.
When I felt warmer, we decided to abandon the picnic and make a run for the log cabin, wrapped only in our respective blankets. It was the fastest sprint we have ever done in our lives. I led the way, as I knew where the cabin was, but I could hear Suzie giggling uncontrollably as we ran through the trees.
We barely looked at the proposal of a snowman on his knees proposing to a snow woman just outside the cabin, we just flung ourselves through the door and out of the cold. There was a roaring fire burning in the main room and we dragged the couch in front of it and curled up on the sofa together, under the blankets.
Her heart was beating so fast, I could feel it hammering against her chest as I held her in my arms.
That’s when I asked her to marry me.
She told me that, despite everything going wrong, this was the best proposal so far. I asked her if that meant yes. I felt her smile against my neck, one of the best feelings in the world. She said ‘I’m lying with you naked, in front of a roaring fire, I’ll let you make up your own mind on that one.’
I decided it was a yes.
*
I was shaken awake and I blinked in the darkness. The fire had long since gone out and as I stretched on the couch, I realised Harry was no longer with me.
‘Suzie, you need to get up, now.’
I could see Harry’s huge shadow looming over me.
I stuck one arm out from the blanket, but the cold of the room sliced though me and I tucked it back into the warmth of the blanket again.
‘It’s cold,’ I mumbled sleepily.
‘I know, the fire went out, get up.’
I held up the blanket for him. ‘Come back to bed, we can keep each other warm.’
I blinked. Had I really just said that? There was a silence from Harry, so I guessed I had.
When he spoke there was a gruffness to his voice. ‘I want that, believe me I do, but you need to get up and get dressed. Now.’
I looked at him and realised he was getting dressed quickly. There was a sudden sense of urgency from him and I quickly threw back the blanket and stood up. ‘What’s wrong?’
He held out some clothes for me and I quickly pulled them on.
‘I’ll be outside.’
He marched out. I pulled on my boots and ran after him. He was standing on the decking looking out over the mountains. Lake Louise was below us, glinting in the moonlight. I hadn’t appreciated the magnificent view when we had run naked through the trees earlier.
He turned, smiling when he saw me and pulled me into his side.
‘Look,’ he whispered, pointing at the gap between the mountains.
‘What?’ I blinked at the clear sky, at the stars peppering the mountain landscape and the moonlight that seemed to be almost as bright as the sun. But I could see nothing. The sky wasn’t black here, it had that greyish inky tinge of very early morning.
We had barely moved from the couch all day, apart from to throw some more logs on the fire. Although it was clear to both of us that Harry had quickly thawed out, neither of us had been willing to leave the confines of the couch and our half naked embrace. Of course nothing happened, but the intimacy of him holding me, of playing with my hair as he watched the flames, was hard to ignore.
We had eaten on the couch, and I’d even sent a few emails and he’d blogged about our proposal and still he had lay with me, half naked, under the blankets.
In all other circumstances, it would have been incredibly romantic.
It had grown dark and we had fallen asleep together.
But now it was early hours in the morning and I was standing outside in the freezing cold staring at the mountains. It was beautiful, with the moon over the water, but I couldn’t help but wish I was back wrapped in his arms in front of the fire.
Then I saw it, and my heart leapt in my chest.
Far off, at the furthest point of the horizon, was an eerie green glow that shimmered and danced in the sky.
I gasped. ‘Is that…?’
I looked up at Harry who was grinning hugely. ‘The Northern Lights.’
‘No! We’re not supposed to see it down here, we’re too far south.’
‘They get occasional displays, the odd glimpse at this time of year, but supposedly nothing spectacular.’
I looked back at the green trails that moved like smoke in the distance. ‘That looks pretty spectacular to me.’
He wrapped his arm round me and pulled me in tighter and I felt him nodding in agreement.
After a few minutes, Harry disappeared back inside and brought out the blankets. He cleared the bench of the snow and we sat down to watch the show, cuddled up against each other.
Although it was far away, it was still an incredible sight to see the light trails playing in the night sky. It almost looked like the shadows of people dancing as the lights rippled against the clouds.
‘Thank you,’ I said into his shoulder.
He looked down at me. ‘For what? I didn’t arrange the Northern Lights kid, I’m good but I’m not that good.’
I smiled. ‘For everything, for being there for me, for my proposals, for all of this.’ I gestured wildly with my arms, making the blanket slide off my shoulders. He pulled it back up, tucking me back in. ‘I’m sorry things have been weird between us, I’m not sure why we’ve fought so much over the last few weeks, when we never have before. I guess I’m scared I’m going to lose you.’
He smiled down at me. ‘That will never happen Suzie, no matter what happens, no matter where we are in the world, you will always be my best friend.’ He paused and frowned slightly. ‘Right?’
I nodded vehemently.
He kissed me on the forehead, then looked away over the mountains.
‘I should have told you before. I’m damaged goods and I guess I didn’t want you to know how completely messed up I am.’
I was very still, sensing that everything that I wanted to know and everything I didn’t was about to come pouring out. And I was right.