Carissa’s phone buzzed in her pocket. Who would be calling this early? It was barely 7 a.m.! She glanced at the display on her phone. Isaac.
“Hello, Isaac,” she said.
His cheerful voice made her smile. “Hey, I just wanted to let you know I’m thinking about you. I couldn’t stop, so I decided to call and make sure you’re okay. I hope that’s not weird.”
“It’s not weird,” she told him. “We’re on our way to the hospital. I’m doing okay, just nervous, but today is blood draws and history. No cutting yet. I’m all right.”
“Good,” he said. “Well, I have to get my mom ready for her nurse to come. We finally got a new one, so Mom and I will be showing her around, then I’m headed off to class. I’ll talk to you after your appointment. Call me.”
“Okay,” she replied. “Bye, Isaac.”
“Bye, Isaac,” Dad said loudly from the front seat.
“Bye, Mr. Schultz,” Isaac replied, giggling.
“He says bye, Dad.”
* * *
The hospital parking lot was crowded, but they managed to find the one handicapped parking spot available. Jim edged the car carefully into the space, then got Carissa’s chair and brought it around to her door. She maneuvered into the seat and he pushed her across to the hospital, Sarah following.
Inside, Carissa checked in at the desk and they found a spot for all three of them to sit together in the waiting room.
Carissa kept switching between calm and mini-panic attack. That was all normal. It was what she did before pre-op appointments, ever since she was a little girl.
Jim went to get a drink from the vending machine. Sarah sat beside Carissa’s chair, tapping her toes on the floor.
“Show off,” Carissa joked. Being paralyzed, she couldn’t tap her toes on the floor to get rid of anxiety. Fingers, maybe, but not toes.
Her mother laughed quietly. “Kiddo, only you could still be making jokes at a time like this.”
Carissa shrugged. “It’s how I deal.”
“Well, you deal well.” Sarah put her arm around Carissa’s shoulder, giving her a hug.
Jim walked back around the corner about the same time the nurse opened the door and called out Carissa’s name. They headed toward the exam rooms.
“Here we go!” Carissa thought.
The pre-op interview went as expected. All three of them were ushered into a small room with an exam table against one wall, a desk against the opposite wall, and two chairs against a third wall. A fake plant sat in the corner next to the desk. A very sweet nurse, with her long brown hair rolled up in a bun and wearing pink scrubs, came in with a long line of questioning for Carissa, including her medication list, her medical history, whether she drank or smoked, her sexual history and whether she was active now. Whether there was any chance she could be pregnant. She resisted the urge to throw in a Virgin Mary joke.
All of it was the same as every other time. Carissa was fairly innocent. She didn’t need alcohol or drugs. Spina bifida and all the drugs that came with it were enough to keep her uninterested in the drugs and alcohol other kids her age were into. She wasn’t into sex. She had promised herself she would wait until marriage. So the interview was pretty boring. The blood tests all came back normal. All that was left was to schedule.
“How’s this Friday for you guys?” the nurse asked. “Dr. Brock wanted to get you in as soon as possible to see if he could reverse some of this damage and prevent more. Does that work for you all?”
“Yeah, that’ll work,” Jim said. He was the only one who might have to get out of work, so it was up to him. Carissa didn’t have school anymore, and Sarah stayed home. They scheduled the surgery for that Friday.
“Okay,” the nurse told Carissa. “No food after midnight the day before. No breakfast the day of. You can take any meds with a small amount of water the morning of. Just sips, though. Arrive clean. Wash the incision area with anti-bacterial soap and water. Prepare to stay at least three days, probably a week. Bring a list of your medications with you. Arrive at the hospital at 6 a.m. that day. All of this and anything else the doctor wants you to know is here.” The nurse handed Carissa a piece of paper with instructions on it.
She’d seen the paper before. This wasn’t new, but she read it again, just in case something had changed or she had forgotten something. “Got it!” she said.
“You guys can check out at the front.” The nurse got up to usher them out. “We’ll see you bright and early on Friday!”
Carissa groaned to herself as she and her parents left the small exam room.
When they got home, Carissa pondered whether or not she was ready to call Isaac with the surgery date. It was so soon. She had half-expected that, and half-hoped they could put it off some. She just wasn’t ready for this. And she wasn’t sure she was ready to tell Isaac. She would wait until she thought she could do it without getting too emotional. It was too early in their relationship for her to get all teary on him, wasn’t it? She wasn’t sure. But she wasn’t ready to talk.
As if she’d picked up on Carissa’s thoughts, Sarah spoke. “Honey, if you want to invite Isaac over for dinner, you can. I’m making turkey burgers,” she said, breaking Carissa’s train of thought.
Carissa shook her head. “Nah. I’m not sure I’m in the mood for company today. Maybe some other time.”
“Okay.” Sarah leaned down and kissed Carissa’s cheek softly, giving her a hug for courage. “If you change your mind, it’s not that big a deal to throw another burger on. Let me know. And I’m here if you want to talk. This will all be okay. It’ll be over soon, and you’ll be recovering. You and Isaac can have popcorn parties on the couch.”
“Okay, Mom. I think I’m just going to go to my room for a bit.”
Sarah gave Carissa a gentle smile. “That’s fine, honey. Call if you need anything.”
Carissa went to her room, and shut the door behind her. Then she cried.
* * *
Once Carissa was in her room, Sarah turned to her husband. “I’m worried about her, Jim.”
“I know, but it’s just part of her process,” Jim comforted her. “You know that. She needs today to accept what’s coming. Tomorrow, she’ll be back in the fight. She always jumps back in the fight. She just needs her time.”
“I know.” Sarah sighed. “I just wish there was something we could do besides making her go through all this again.”
“We can love her and be there for her. That’s what she needs from us.” He put his arm around her slumping shoulders. “We can’t fix it, but we can be there and be strong for her. She may have to do this, but she doesn’t have to do it alone.”
“You’re right. She’s not alone.”