Coldness was embedded in his voice.
He was only inches away, the clean scent of his soap strong and powerful. His nearness made Rachel forget what she was going to retort. Instead, her gaze fastened on the cleft in his chin. She remembered how she loved to caress the dent and run her fingers through his thick brown hair, which held touches of sunlight.
“Why are you here now?” Rachel asked, unnerved by his presence more than she would ever admit.
“Amy overheard your conversation earlier this afternoon with Helen about schools in New York, and she wanted me to convince you not to leave Magnolia Blossom and take her and Shaun away.” His laughter was humorless. “Of course, Amy doesn’t realize I’m the last person in the world to convince you of that.”
“Why does she want to stay here?” Rachel already had a good idea why her sister and brother wanted to stay in Magnolia Blossom, but she wanted to center the conversation around her siblings and not her feelings for Michael.
“Because this is her home. Because she has only one year left of high school and wants to finish here. Because all her friends are here.”
“But New York offers so many opportunities.”
“Who are you talking about, yourself or Amy?”
“Both.”
“Please, don’t kid yourself. Amy isn’t interested in New York. When you make your decision, I hope you’ll at least consider your sister’s needs, too.”
“So now you not only know what’s best for me but for Amy and, I suppose, for Shaun, too.”
“I never tried to tell you what was best for you, but I’ll tell you taking those two out of Magnolia Blossom isn’t best for them.” There was a quiet strength in his voice as he stared at her with a frosty regard. “I care about them.”
“And so do I. There are some good schools for Amy in New England or Switzerland where she can make new friends. Those kinds of schools can open so many doors for her. Those places aren’t the ends of the earth.”
“Now you’re talking about Europe! What are you going to do—dump Shaun and Amy in different schools on different continents?”
“If we leave Magnolia Blossom, they’ll have a say in what school they’ll go to.”
“I see. After consulting them, you’re going to dump them in different schools.”
She was reminded of what her parents had done with Amy and her twelve years before, then later Shaun. All her suppressed feelings of abandonment and insecurity surfaced. Her parents hadn’t wanted to be burdened with children who got in the way of research. Leaving them with Aunt Flora had been the best thing for them, but the abandonment still hurt, and no amount of logic took the pain away.
“Don’t you see, Rachel, both Amy and Shaun need stability right now, not a major upheaval.”
“I moved around when I was their age. I survived.”
“What’s good for you is good for them? Not all people like to pick up and move at a moment’s notice. Not all people are as accomplished as you are at leaving friends.”
With a flinch she pushed away from the screen door to put some distance between Michael and her. “What I do with them is none of your business.”
“Amy has asked me to make it my business. I hope you won’t rush a decision because of what happened between us.”
“Isn’t that presuming a lot?”
A nerve in his jawline twitched as his gaze narrowed on her face. “Then use this time to see things from their viewpoint. You traveled around a lot as a child. They didn’t. This is the only real home those two have known. Their friends are important to them, even if they aren’t to you.”
His words cut deep. She wanted to deny the feeling; she couldn’t. There had been a time in her life when she had wished she had a real home with doting parents and lots of friends—a long time ago. “I think you should leave now,” she managed to say in an even voice.
He leaned close. “I hope you’ll really think about what I said tonight.”
She looked him in the eyes and said, “Contrary to what you believe, I do care what Amy and Shaun are feeling. Their feelings will be considered when I make my decision.”
Amy opened the screen door and stepped onto the patio, turning to Michael. “Did you talk with her?”
“Yes, he did,” Rachel answered.
Amy looked at Rachel. “Well?” she asked, her pout firmly in place.
“I haven’t made any decisions and when I do, you, Shaun and I will sit down and discuss them.”
Amy stared at Rachel for a long moment, her expression hostile, intense. “Discuss it with us? Don’t you mean tell us?”
“I need to head home,” Michael said.
“No! Please stay for dinner. Rachel has fixed one of her famous dishes. There’s plenty for all of us.”
“Sorry. Not tonight.” Michael started for the screen door.
Rachel hadn’t realized she was holding her breath until he’d declined the offer. Relief trembled through her. He aroused emotions in her that made dealing with everything else more difficult.
“Rachel?” Amy whispered. “Ask him to stay.”
Rachel saw none of Amy’s earlier hostility in her expression and was tempted to ask Michael to join them for dinner, but the words wouldn’t come out. They lumped in her throat, her mouth dry, her palms damp. She couldn’t face another moment in his presence, even to please her sister.
While he strode to the front door, Amy spun and glared at Rachel. “I thought he was a friend. Here in Magnolia Blossom we ask friends to dinner. You must do things differently where you come from.”
The sound of the front door closing filled the air with renewed tension. “Amy, it’s late and—”
“I’m not hungry anymore.” Amy flounced into the house, banging the screen door behind her, then the front door as she left.
Rachel started to go after Amy and try to explain. But how can I explain my feelings toward Michael to my sister? I can’t even explain them to myself. She sank down on the chaise longue, feeling defeated and alone.
When darkness settled around her, Rachel went inside, deciding to check on Shaun before going into the kitchen to eat an overcooked dinner. She knocked on his bedroom door, but he didn’t answer. Opening the door, she glanced about the room to confirm her suspicions. Shaun was still outside.
She looked toward Amy’s closed door. It boasted a new sign that read Do Not Enter. Glancing at Shaun’s room, she saw total chaos—as though a hurricane had recently swept through. Silence magnified Rachel’s feeling of loneliness as she walked into the living room to wait for her family’s return.
* * *
Rachel sat in the darkened living room waiting for her younger brother. There was no sound of pounding sneakers to alert her to Shaun’s presence. This time the sneakers were silent as he came into the house. When he was in the middle of the living room, heading for his bedroom, she switched on the lamp. Shaun froze as if he were playing a game of statue.
Rachel didn’t say a word.
Suddenly her eight-year-old brother swung around and launched into his explanation. “We were playing a game of hide-and-seek and no one could find me. I had the best place ever to hide. I couldn’t come home till the game was over.”
For Shaun’s sake Rachel was thankful that she’d had an hour to cool off or she would have grounded him for the rest of his life, which she realized was absolutely ridiculous. “Did you win?”
Shaun blinked, nonplussed by the question. Then he flashed Rachel one of the smiles that must have gotten him just about anything from Aunt Flora. “Sure. No one found me. Finally, they all gave up.”
“Lucky for you that they gave up so soon.” Rachel glanced at her watch. “Let’s see. You were an hour late. I figure a fair trade-off is an hour for a week. You’re grounded for the next week. I’ll let you go to church as well as your baseball games and practices, but that’s all. No TV. No phone calls. No friends over.” Rachel rose and started for the kitchen to clean up her ruined meal, which still smoldered in the oven.
“But Aunt Flora didn’t care if I stayed out after dark. This isn’t New York. Nuthin’s gonna happen to me after dark here.”
Rachel continued walking.
“That’s not fair. A week! What am I gonna do in this place for a whole week? I’ll die of boredom!”
Rachel pivoted. “You should have thought about that when you were hiding. You had plenty of time to come up with some ideas.”
“Who are you to tell me what I can and can’t do? You aren’t my mother.” Shaun’s face reddened with anger.
Patience, she reminded herself. “I won’t argue with you, Shaun. We’ll discuss who I am later.”
“But—”
Her younger brother snapped his mouth closed, then stomped off to his bedroom and slammed his door shut. First thing tomorrow morning she would go to the library in Natchez and hope there was a good book on parenting that she could check out.
The ringing of the doorbell a few seconds later made Rachel jump. When she opened the door to find Helen standing on her front porch, she was pleasantly surprised. “How did you know I was at the end of my rope? Did you hear the doors slamming all the way downtown?”
“No, but Amy paid me a visit as I was closing up tonight.”
“Oh, she did.” Why does my sister talk with everyone in town except me? “I can just imagine what she had to say if you decided to come by after a long day at work.”
“I’m concerned, Rachel. I’ve never seen Amy so unreasonable. The whole time she was in the café she ranted and raved about what she was and wasn’t gonna do. The bottom line is she won’t leave Magnolia Blossom.” Helen’s smile was sad as she continued. “That was said as she stormed out of the café without letting me finish a sentence, which is very hard to do.”
“Where did she go?”
“She didn’t say.”
Rachel clenched her teeth. “She thinks she can come and go as she pleases without saying anything to me. I have no idea where she is or what time she’ll be home. Surely Aunt Flora didn’t let Shaun and Amy do this.”
“No, but then Flora never threatened their security.”
“You think I should give up everything and stay here?” Wasn’t it enough that she had agreed to take care of her brother and sister? Did she have to give up everything?
“It would be easier for Amy and Shaun in the short run. I can’t answer beyond that, nor can I tell you what’s best for you, sugar. That’s your decision.”
“I feel like I’ve been cast in the role of an ogre.”
Helen rolled her shoulders. “I’d better be going or I’ll be worthless tomorrow.” At the front door, she turned and hugged Rachel. “Sugar, would staying here for a year be too much? You could open a restaurant later. Think about it.”
“Night, Helen.”
As Rachel closed the door, her anger pushed all other feelings to the side. Her life was already turned upside down with the unexpected responsibility of taking care of her sister and brother. First Michael and now Helen wanted her to forget all she’d worked for.
She went into the living room and sat on the couch to wait for Amy’s return. They had to talk. But as Rachel waited, her temples throbbed with a headache. She couldn’t stay in Magnolia Blossom, not even for Amy.
* * *
A persistent ringing gnawed at Rachel’s dreamless sleep. All of a sudden her mind cleared, and she bolted up on the couch, snatching up the phone. “Hello.”
“Rachel, this is Michael.”
Her hand tightened about the receiver as she glanced at the clock on the mantel. Twelve-sixteen. “What’s wrong?” The pounding of her pulse thundered in her ears as she tried to calm the racing of her heart.
“Shaun’s here with Garrett.”
“What?” She rubbed her hand down her face to try to clear her groggy mind.
“On my way to bed I passed Garrett’s door and heard voices. Shaun was with him.”
“I’ll be over in a few minutes.”
“Rachel, let Shaun stay till morning. Whatever you have to say to him can wait till then. They’ve both finally gone to sleep.”
“I’m coming. He disobeyed me.” Without waiting for Michael to say anything else, Rachel slammed down the receiver, berating herself for falling asleep when she should have been alert. Maybe then Shaun wouldn’t have sneaked out of the house.
She snatched her purse and started to leave when she remembered Amy. She quickly checked to see if her younger sister was home yet. When she didn’t find Amy anywhere in the house, she made a mental note to get Shaun then go looking for her sister.
As Rachel hurried to her car, her thoughts churned with worry. What did Shaun think he was going to accomplish by running to Garrett’s? Why couldn’t he accept his punishment? Where was Amy at this hour?
When Rachel pulled into the lane that led to Michael’s house, she pressed her foot down on the brake. The palms of her hands were sweaty as she stared at the two-story antebellum house ahead. She knew she couldn’t barge into Michael’s home and start yelling at Shaun, even though that was her first impulse.
Slowly she eased her foot off the brake, and the car crept forward. She couldn’t let Shaun think he could do what he pleased. She could remember wishing her mother or father had set limits for her. Instead, they had allowed her to go anywhere she wanted with little supervision. She had often spent hours away from their temporary base, playing in the jungle or on a beach, usually alone. Her parents hadn’t cared enough to ask where she’d been when she’d returned to the campsite. Rachel wasn’t going to make that mistake with Amy and Shaun. They needed limits.
When she parked the car in front of Michael’s house, the door swung open to reveal him standing in the entrance. “Come in.” He stepped aside for her to enter.
She started to demand to see Shaun, but the expression on Michael’s face stopped her. The air pulsated with his anger as they stared at each other.
“Where’s Shaun?” Rachel finally asked, scanning the foyer, alarmed at how easily he could evoke strong emotions in her.
“Asleep.”
“Then I’ll get him.” She turned toward the staircase, aware that she had no idea where Garrett’s bedroom was, but nothing would be accomplished staying and dealing with Michael. She still needed to handle her siblings.
As she placed her foot on the first step, Michael grabbed her arm and swung her around. “We’re going to talk first.”
He dragged her toward the den and shoved her into a chair by the fireplace. Rachel couldn’t believe his Neanderthal attitude. “I have nothing to say to you.”
“Then listen, really listen for a change.”
She began to rise, but when he put both hands on the arms of her chair and leaned toward her, she sank into the cushion. She felt trapped, surrounded by him. She closed her eyes, wishing she could block his image from her memory; she couldn’t. She sensed his gaze drilling into her face and slowly opened her eyes, trying to remain in control.
“The only parent Shaun has really known was Flora. With her death his life has changed drastically. He doesn’t understand your coming in and setting down all these rules he’s not used to.”
“So you think I should let him do anything he wants?” She allowed her rising anger to fight Michael’s effect on her.
“No, but move slowly with him. Give him time to adjust to you.”
“In the meantime he runs around town wild, going where he wants, coming in when he wants.” Rachel shook her head. “A child needs rules to follow.”
“Reasonable ones.”
“Coming in by dark is reasonable.”
“Maybe in New York City, but in Magnolia Blossom that’s when all the kids his age play hide-and-seek in the park. Shaun’s always been a part of that. The kids aren’t doing anything wrong. They’re having fun. It sure beats them sitting around watching TV.”
“When we talked about his curfew, he never said anything about playing hide-and-seek in the park with the other kids. All he said to me was that he was going out.” Michael’s clean male scent accosted her, and she wished he would move away. She didn’t want him so close, producing strange sensations inside her.
Stepping back, Michael directed the full censure of his gaze at her. “Sit down with Shaun. Talk to him. Tell him what you expect of him in concise, concrete terms.”
“What in the world do you think I’ve been trying to do with both Amy and Shaun—tap-dance?” She stood with both hands planted on her waist, her anger escalating as quickly as the temperature. “It’s kind of hard to talk to a person when all you see is his back as he’s leaving the room.”
“Talk to or at?”
“Talking is talking!” Her voice rose several levels. Her head began to throb again. “I ask a question, I expect a straight answer. I say something, I expect to hear something back, not a door slamming.”
“Talking to a person is more than you saying words. It’s also listening to him when he’s talking and letting him know you’ve listened, maybe by paraphrasing what he’s said.”
“I know how to carry on a conversation.”
“I’m sure you do with an adult, but…”
Rachel hated to admit she had the same doubts, but she was an intelligent woman who loved her sister and brother. Somehow she would work everything out with them.
“Will you please get Shaun for me?” She met his dark gaze with quiet dignity.
His mouth thinned into a slash. “Rachel, why is it so hard for you to accept help from another person?” He grasped her arms. “Believe it or not, I want this to work with you, Shaun and Amy. I care for those two.”
All Rachel could focus on was his closeness. She wouldn’t be drawn into his world again!
“Was that help you were offering me? Strange, that’s not the way I heard it.” Her gaze lowered to his hands still clasping her. “Please let me go.”
He released her. His look flattened into a neutral expression as he pivoted and strode toward the stairs without another word.
Rachel held herself taut until Michael disappeared up the stairs. But once he was gone, the trembling started in her hands and spread like a brushfire through her. She hugged her arms to her, rubbing her hands up and down to warm her chilled body.
Rachel had little time to compose herself before Michael appeared with Shaun behind him. Shaun’s pout rivaled Amy’s as he came to stand in front of Rachel.
“How did you think you’d get away with this?” she asked in a tightly controlled voice.
“What did you expect me to do?” Shaun’s belligerent eyes became slits as they locked with Rachel’s.
“I expected more of you than this.”
“Well, you’re not my mother. I’m not doing what you say.” He straightened as though ready to fight for what he had declared.
“No, I’m not your mother, but I’m the one taking care of you, and you’ll do as I say whether you like it or not. Understand?”
“No, I’ll never mind you!”
“I guess you don’t think being grounded for a week is long enough.”
“I hate you!” Shaun whirled and ran from the room.
Stunned by the violence in Shaun’s last look, Rachel was immobile until she heard the front door slam shut. She started toward it.
“I know you’re angry at Shaun right now.”
She spun as fast as Shaun had seconds before. “Are you going to tell me I shouldn’t be?”
“No, everyone has a right to their feelings—”
“Oh, thank you for that.” She cut in.
“But I hope you’ll think about postponing any further discussion concerning the night’s escapade till tomorrow. Give yourself a chance to calm down. As you can see, Shaun needs it, too.” One corner of Michael’s mouth quirked upward. “Heaven knows, I learned that the hard way. I’ve said things to Garrett that I’ve regretted after I had time to think things through.”
His half smile affected her senses. For a few seconds she felt as if they had something in common. A strong urge to seek comfort in his arms swamped her. It took all her willpower to stay where she was. She had agreed to be her sister’s and brother’s guardian and suddenly she realized how ill-equipped she was for that role. Would it be so difficult to ask for help?
“Let me talk to Shaun,” Michael said as he walked past her, then stopped.
For an instant Rachel saw regret in his eyes. She blinked, trying to understand the look he was giving her, but as quickly as it appeared it vanished. He continued toward the front door, leaving Rachel alone to gather her composure.
Her life was not in Magnolia Blossom. It was that simple and that complicated. Even if she didn’t get the backing for her restaurant, she had every intention of going to New York at the end of the summer. She would give her sister and brother time to adjust to her as their guardian, then close up the house here. She had been crazy to consider staying in this small town where everyone knew everyone.
When she went out, she saw Michael talking to Shaun near her car. Their murmuring voices drifted to her on the jasmine-scented air, but she couldn’t make out what they were saying.
As Rachel approached the pair, Shaun looked at her, hostility still apparent in his expression. He mumbled something to Michael, then rounded the front of the car to climb in on the passenger’s side.
Rachel faced Michael, uncertain what to say or do. Her inadequacies concerning Shaun filled her with fear. She didn’t want to fail with Shaun or Amy. She didn’t want them to grow up feeling as she had, unloved, unwanted, frightened to get close to anyone.
“Rachel, just as adults say things they don’t mean, so can kids when they are angry or scared. Please give both of you some time to cool off before you decide what you’re going to do about tonight. Find out why he stayed out.”
“Isn’t that obvious? He wanted to defy me.”
“I’d rather his reason come from him.”
An overwhelming desire to be held by Michael inundated her. If only she could drop her defenses for a while. Because he was standing in front of her waiting for her to say something, she murmured, “I’d better go,” but she didn’t move toward her car door.
She stared into Michael’s face, illuminated by the light from the veranda. Lifting her hand slowly, she touched the cleft in his chin.
Clasping her hand, he stilled the movement.
“It’s late. I really should go.”
“Uh-huh.” He bent his head toward hers.