Laikyn
I knew I had a bewildered look on my face, but for the life of me, I couldn’t do anything but stare after Jinx in wonder.
He’d actually spoken.
Only one word, but it had delivered the same punch as if he’d read a novel.
And that one word had taken the fight right out of me.
Oh, sure, I was still mad. Pissed, in fact. But the word … his voice … it was on repeat in my head, and I wanted it to go on forever.
“Come on,” Rule urged, gesturing down the hall. “We owe him this.”
“He’s really never said a word before?” I asked as my legs carried me in the direction Rule wanted me to go even as I twisted to see behind me, wanting to know if Jinx was all right.
“Not since I’ve known him.”
“And you’ve known him for how long?”
“More than twenty years.”
When we reached the living room, I stopped to look back down the hall. “Will he be okay?”
“Eventually.”
“What’s he doing in there?”
“Probably having a panic attack.”
I spun around to face him. “Shouldn’t we go in there?”
“Waldo’s with him.”
“A dog?”
“Yes. Trust me, it helps. I don’t know how, but it does. Do you want something to drink?”
“Maybe,” I told him.
“What would you like?”
“I guess that depends on what you plan to tell me.”
He exhaled heavily, his shoulders falling with what looked a lot like defeat.
“I’ll take wine,” I said before walking outside.
It was a nice afternoon. Not hot, not cold. One of those days that made me glad I lived in California.
And while the sun was shining and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky, it felt gloomy in a sense. Was that the weight of betrayal casting a haze over my existence?
When I first found that DNA test, I chalked it up to them wanting to help me. Yeah, I felt betrayed, but during the Uber ride to the house, I had almost convinced myself that it was okay. After all, I had admitted to Rule that I wondered who my father was and that I’d even asked my mother. Uncovering that detail could be his way of showing me he cared. Based on the test results, Rule knew who my father was, although I never did find a name on the test, so I was still in the dark.
But then I had time to think about it when I got home. To let the realization fester until I was so angry at him for not telling me about it that I was right back where I was when I found the test in his office. Seeing him had pissed me off more. But him walking out … saying he was done … that took the fucking cake.
Yet, I’d still been willing to hear him out. If and when he returned.
However, seeing those paintings on Jinx’s wall … that had changed everything.
I thought it was a coincidence that I’d encountered Rule again. That him showing up to help Monica out of a jam was just one of those glitches in the matrix. Maybe the timing was happenstance since I doubted my mother intended to actually kill that couple, but now I knew his presence in my life wasn’t. Those paintings proved it.
And this was a case of which came first: The chicken (Rule sneaking off with my DNA to find out who my dad was) or the egg (Jinx getting those paintings from the gallery that had commissioned them)? And did it matter? Obviously, they knew something I didn’t, and I felt like the world’s biggest idiot.
Rule came outside carrying a tumbler of clear liquid and a glass of wine. He passed the wine to me and took a sip of the other drink. I knew it wasn’t vodka because there wasn’t any hard liquor in this house. He didn’t drink. However, I couldn’t help but think he’d somehow convinced his brain that a glass of Sprite with ice cubes and a lime worked the same.
He perched on the arm of the sofa and stared out at the swimming pool.
“Did you marry me under false pretenses?” I asked when it was clear he wasn’t going to talk first.
“Yes.” He didn’t hesitate, there was no prevarication, no pause for him to collect his thoughts.
For the first time since I met him, I wasn’t sure I appreciated his brutal honesty because, like it or not, that answer hurt. I felt a pang in my chest.
Keeping my tone calm, I said, “I want to know why. Why did you marry me at all?”
He glanced at me over his shoulder, and I saw something in his dark eyes. Pain? Regret? I couldn’t tell, but he felt something. In fact, that might have been the first time I’d seen real emotion in his expression. Besides amusement, of course.
“I deserve to know the truth, Rule. If that really is your name.”
He cocked his head to the side in that gesture that said, Seriously?
“Fine. It’s your name,” I conceded. “And the rest?”
“I always intended to tell you everything, Laikyn. I’ve been trying to protect you.”
I scooted to the edge of the cushion and angled toward him. “Protect me? By lying?”
“I haven’t lied.”
“Omitting your reasons is the same thing,” I countered, unable to hide my frustration.
“Maybe.”
“There’s no maybe about it. It is. You had an ulterior motive when you married me. Has everything else been a lie?”
Rule stood and turned to face me. He took a seat on the cushion, only a foot remaining between us.
“Like what?”
I shrugged. “Everything.” I waved a hand to encompass the house. “Whatever this is that we’re doing.”
His eyes narrowed. “What is it that we’re doing, Laikyn?”
Okay, now he was trying to piss me off.
“Stop repeating my questions,” I snapped.
“I want to know, too,” he said, no inflection in his tone.
“And you think I know?” God, was he crazy?
“You said it earlier.”
“What? I said a lot of things earlier,” I grumbled, taking a sip of my wine and setting the glass on the table. I needed to move. Sitting still wasn’t helping.
Rule’s gaze followed me as I walked around the sofa toward the pool.
For the longest time, I stood there, staring out at the water, trying to wrap my head around what happened, wanting to organize the millions of questions running through my gray matter.
They had secrets they were keeping from me. I was angry about that. But at the same time, I wasn’t. I’d come here under the guise of working off my mother’s debt. That was the agreement we made the night he came to her house. However, I wasn’t an idiot. Even then, I knew that wasn’t what this was. But I never bothered to find out. I’d put blinders on and allowed this to become my new life. Allowed Rule and Jinx to lure me in, to make me fall in love with them. I never cared what the circumstances were because I was happy. Happier than I ever remembered being.
I felt Rule more than I heard him. One second, I was alone. The next, he was there, standing behind me. He didn’t touch me, but he might as well have because I felt his nearness like a security blanket.
“It wasn’t supposed to go like this,” he said softly.
“Like what?”
“You and me. You and Jinx.”
“You and Jinx,” I added because he had never acknowledged that there was something between them. A hell of a lot more than sating a biological urge. I saw it with my own eyes. They might pretend it didn’t exist, but there was no denying it when they were together.
He didn’t respond, and I didn’t turn around to see his expression.
“Jinx told me that if I walk away, that’s it. There won’t be a second chance.”
“What do you want me to say to that, Laikyn? That he’s right?”
My chest felt tight. I was upset and hurt that they’d lied, but the thought of Rule cutting me out of his life completely simply because I needed time to process … what if one day I did need to put some space between us? Would that be the end of it, then, too? Would I always be manipulated into ensuring I didn’t push him too far? God knows I wasn’t perfect. Never would be.
But how was I supposed to live like that? Loving a man who was always waiting for the other shoe to drop?
* * *
Rule
When Laikyn didn’t say anything, I knew I had to tell her the truth.
It was the reason I came back.
I’d been hell-bent on getting out of here and never looking back, but I made it as far as the office when I realized I couldn’t do that. Not this time. I had to own up to this. Once I told her everything, she could decide what to do with that information. But I wasn’t going to be the one to leave. I refused to do that to anyone.
“I first met your mother about ten years ago,” I told her. “She’d been referred to me by a lawyer because she found herself in a predicament he couldn’t help her with. Not even the best lawyer would’ve been able to help her with the damning evidence that had come to light. So when she showed up at my door and asked me to make the situation go away, I didn’t bat an eye. She was Monica Quinn. She had money and fame, and I was building my business, so I figured helping her would go a long way to establishing my credibility.”
“What did she need you to do?”
I took a deep breath, resigned to answering all her questions. “Your mother was having an affair with a sixteen-year-old boy. The son of one of the production assistants on the film she was working on. The boy recorded them having sex. He claimed it was personal, just between them. Unfortunately for Monica, he lived with his parents, and they suspected something was going on. They found the video and were threatening to have her arrested.
“She claimed the kid came on to her first, but I didn’t care. Honestly, I didn’t want to know. The only thing I cared about was finding enough dirt to use against that kid’s parents to keep them from filing charges of statutory rape. They were ready to.”
“Who could blame them?” Laikyn shuddered. “I know she came onto Rory. He was seventeen at the time. She had to pay him off, but I didn’t know there’d been anyone before him.”
According to the information I dredged up about Monica, she had a penchant for much, much younger men. At least now, she did. At one point, it had been the exact opposite.
“Anyway, I took care of that for her. She paid me, and I figured that was the last I would hear from her.”
“Until she called you to find me.”
This was going to be the ugly part. Thankfully, she hadn’t turned to look at me yet, so it made it easier to tell her.
“Your mother never called me to find you.”
This time, Laikyn did turn around. “But I thought—”
I forced myself to look her in the eye. “Monica called me and asked me to stage your kidnapping so she could get the K and R money from her insurance company.”
Laikyn took a step back, her eyes wide with shock.
I grabbed her arm, stopping her retreat. “I turned her down flat, Laikyn. I don’t do shit like that, and I don’t associate with anyone who does. I even told her the K and R insurance didn’t work that way. She didn’t believe me.”
Her fingers curled around my wrist, and she held on. “When was this?”
“You were fourteen.”
She shook her head. “Oh my God. I can’t believe—” She pulled away from me, taking several steps around to the side of the pool. “It wasn’t a spur-of-the-moment idea for her. She…” She continued to shake her head even as she looked at me. “She planned it for two years? What? Did it take her that long to find some miscreant who would do it?”
I didn’t know the answer to that, so I continued. “Rhyan had just started working for me then. I told her what Monica said. She was appalled.”
“Can you blame her?” She ran one hand through her hair and covered her stomach with the other. “God.”
“She was also worried,” I explained. “About you. So I tasked her with keeping an eye on you to ensure you were safe.”
Her eyes glittered with fury. “How’d that work out for you?”
“We kept tabs on you for a year and a half. I figured since nothing happened, Monica realized it was a terrible idea.” I swallowed past the lump that formed in my throat. “Then, six months later, I saw on the news that you were missing.”
Tears started falling down her cheeks. I moved toward her, unable to resist. I pulled her into my arms and cupped the back of her head.
“I hired Red Wally and Willy with the sole intention of finding you. The five of us started tearing apart Monica’s life, learning everything we could learn to find you.”
She looked at me. “You felt guilty?” Her forehead creased. “But it wasn’t your fault.”
“I didn’t care. My only goal was to find you. After a week, I gave up being discreet about it. I had Jinx tap her phone, and Red Wally and Rhyan bugged your mother’s house. I needed to know what she’d done and how to get you back.”
“Why didn’t you confront her?”
“I didn’t trust her to tell me the truth.”
“Oh.” She pursed her lips and nodded. “I wouldn’t have either, I guess.”
“I didn’t know about Javier until you told me,” I admitted. “His name never came up. We found you because Jinx hacked into traffic cameras and followed what we hoped was the van you were in. We lucked out.”
“So you didn’t know there was a time limit?” she asked.
“No.” I peered out at the water. “Not until after.”
“You realize how close I came to…?”
I nodded. “I took care of him, Laikyn. Javier. He won’t hurt you ever again.”
“Did you kill him?”
I hadn’t. Not yet. I was giving him one last chance to prove he deserved to continue breathing. But if he fucked up, if he so much as came within ten miles of Laikyn or her mother, I would put a bullet between his eyes, and he would go into the afterlife with a hole that matched Diggy’s.
“I’ve got eyes on him,” I told her, figuring she didn’t need to know the rest. She didn’t need a dark stain on her soul like me. “But I promise he’ll never hurt you. I won’t let that happen.”
Laikyn’s soft “okay” was warm with trust. It was something.
“I’ve been keeping an eye on you ever since then. My whole team has,” I clarified. “It was an invasion of your privacy on many levels, but I won’t apologize. I needed to know you were safe, so we dug into your entire life. I knew who you were dating and where you went. I knew about your high school boyfriend and the guys you dated after you graduated.”
“You mean the guys I fucked,” she said, her tone snippy.
I wasn’t going to respond. She was angry and had every right to be.
“Our digging led to learning who your father was.”
Laikyn stepped back. “Was? You mean…? He’s…?”
I nodded. “Yeah. He’s dead.”
She put her hand on her throat. “What? Why?”
“Natural causes.”
“Oh.” Her eyebrow quirked in curiosity. “How old was he?”
“Eighty-eight.”
Laikyn’s head jerked as though that knowledge didn’t quite fit into the spot in her brain where she wanted to store it.
“Eighty-eight? My father?” Her tone was skeptical. “The man who got my mother pregnant?”
“Yes.”
“He was like a sperm donor or something?”
“No. He was just … virile.”
“I’ll say.”
“You were three when he died.”
Her upper lip curled, and her nose scrunched. “My mother was eighteen when she got pregnant with me.”
I nodded, letting her do the math.
“So that means my father was in his eighties when he got her pregnant?”
“Yes.”
“I’m kinda grossed out by that.”
“Maybe that’s why she never told you.”
“Yeah, I’m thinking maybe she blocked that out. An eighteen-year-old fucking an eighty-year-old.” She shivered.
“Your father is—”
Laikyn held up her hand. “No. Don’t tell me. Not yet.” She turned and paced. “Maybe not ever. I’m not sure I want to know.”
Well, if that turned out to be the case, we were going to have a bigger problem on our hands.
* * *
Jinx
After I calmed myself down, I took a shower. As hot as I could stand it. I stayed in until the sting wore off.
By the time I got out, I was sweating, and Waldo was still on my bed, camped out for the foreseeable future. He was watching me, and I knew he was waiting to see if I was really okay. I was. Mostly. The fact that I couldn’t make my voice work again bothered me. I obviously had the ability to talk, but even when I focused, nothing came out.
I nodded toward the door, signaling Waldo that we needed to go out there. Like a snail, he slid down from the bed as slow as molasses, as though I might change my mind before he got to the door. He was a lazy one, that was for damn sure.
I took a deep breath and ventured out into the hallway. I didn’t bother locking my door. It was pointless now. Laikyn had seen the paintings. She knew the truth even if she didn’t know the facts.
Expecting to hear raised voices and arguing, I panicked a bit, worried Laikyn and Rule had left.
With his doggy eyebrows lowered, Waldo looked at me like I’d lost my mind. He turned his attention toward the back of the house, and his ears perked. A good sign.
I waited to see what he would do. When he finally trotted toward the backyard, I ventured out into the living room.
Laikyn and Rule were squared off near the pool. She had her hand up like she was telling him to stop talking. Her voice wasn’t raised, but that didn’t mean anything. Rule delivered his most terrifying words when his voice was low. Maybe she did, too.
“Thank you for telling me,” she said, her tone rife with sorrow.
I felt a tightness in my chest. An ache that resonated due to my feelings for this woman and her utter disappointment in us. We had failed her. I knew we would all along. Even with the best intentions, we’d kept things from her and shouldn’t have.
“I need some time, Rule.”
I moved closer.
“I don’t want to leave,” she tacked on quickly. “I just need time to process.”
A huff escaped as relief swamped me. It must’ve been loud enough for them to hear because Rule and Laikyn looked toward the house. I stepped forward, not wanting them to think I’d been eavesdropping.
Laikyn rushed toward me, stopping seconds before she would’ve bowled me over.
“Are you okay?” Her cool fingers touched my cheek, her concern emanating from her.
I nodded because it was mostly true. I would be okay. Provided we could fix this. If I lost either of them, then it would be a lie.
Her fingers glided over my chin as she took another step closer. She smiled as she brushed my lower lip. “You can talk.”
I gestured to my mouth and shook my head.
“You can,” she said softly. “You just need to realize you don’t have to. Once you stop pressuring yourself, maybe it will come.”
Yeah. Maybe. I wasn’t going to hold my breath.
Laikyn stepped back and glanced over at Rule. He was watching us, and when our eyes met, I felt his tension.
With a short glance at Laikyn, I walked over to him. I reached for my phone only to realize I’d left it in my room. With no other way to communicate, I did the only thing I knew to do. I stepped up to him until we were so close a breath wouldn’t slide between us. I put my hand on the back of his neck and urged him forward, pressing my forehead to his.
“I heard you,” Rule whispered. “I never thought I would.”
Even if I had a phone, what was I supposed to say to that?
“I want to hear you again.” He tilted his chin and angled his head, his breath fanning my mouth. “And the next time, I want you to say my name.”
Never in my life did I expect Rule to tell me how he felt about me. I wasn’t even sure he realized how much he’d revealed in that single sentence.
I kissed him. Softly, gently. It was the first time in all the time I’d known him that our kiss wasn’t a prelude to sex. He hesitated only briefly, but then he kissed me back. And in true Rule fashion, he took control, his hand curling behind my head, holding me to him as he adjusted the angle and slid his tongue into my mouth. I’d only ever felt so much intensity from a kiss once before. And that was the night I made love to Laikyn. We’d been completely vulnerable to one another that night, which was the only way to describe Rule at this moment in time. He was stripped bare.
I kissed him back, keeping the urgency at bay so I could savor him for those few precious seconds. It wouldn’t last. Rule didn’t allow himself to be unguarded, so this was a rarity. There was a good chance it would never happen again, but for as long as I lived, I would never forget it.
When I pressed my hand to his chest, Rule covered my hand and held it over his heart.
“I don’t like this feeling, Jinx,” he said, his words a mere breath between us. “It feels too raw. I’m too exposed.”
Yeah, well, that was the nature of life. Even when we do our best to protect ourselves from everything that might hurt us, there are times when we can’t. This was one of those times.
But I wasn’t going to push him. We had a long way to go before Rule accepted that he wasn’t in this alone. He’d spent his entire life anticipating the moment when someone else would leave him. I’d proven my loyalty by being there every day, and I would continue to do so. Deep down, he knew that was true. Now, he needed to accept it.
I could feel Laikyn watching us, and when I pulled back and looked toward the house, she was still standing there, her heart in her eyes and a smile on her face. It gave me hope. Gave me something to look forward to.
It wasn’t over. We hadn’t lost her. Not yet, anyway. There was still time to prove to her that, despite the circumstances, this was exactly where she was supposed to be. Where we were all supposed to be.