“Wow,” said Bertie. “That was great.”
I was in the room, preparing to go downstairs for dinner. Bertie had just thrown open the door and walked in.
Her hair was tousled, and her skin flushed. There was a sheen of sweat on her brow. If I didn’t know better, I’d have thought she’d just had sex. Really good sex.
“What was great?”
“You have got to visit the spa with me tomorrow.”
“That’s where you’ve been?”
“Sure.” She flopped down on the nearest bed. “What did you think?”
“Let me see, how can I put this delicately? You look like you’re in love.”
“I am.” She sighed and flopped over on her back. “They do this hot rock massage down there that’s to die for. Gunther’s hands are like magic.”
“Gunther?” I laughed. “You’re cheating on my brother with a man named Gunther?”
“As if.” She rolled over on one side, propped her elbow on the bed, and rested her chin in her palm. “Gunther’s a sweetheart, but totally gay. He looked at me semi-naked and didn’t even bat an eye.”
Case closed. Gunther was gay all right.
“Although come to think of it, I wonder if there’s a way I could get him and Frank together. I love my husband to bits, but trust me, Gunther could teach him a thing or two about—”
“Stop right there,” I said. “That’s my little brother you’re talking about.”
“You know Frank has a sex life. Where else do you think Maggie came from?”
“Well, yes…but it’s not something I like to spend any time thinking about.”
“Trust me. Even Sam could learn a trick or two from this guy.”
“Even Sam?”
I’d been checking my reflection in the mirror as I brushed my hair. Now I slowly turned around.
“Yeah. That’s what I said.”
Bertie sat up and crossed her legs, bouncing the bed a few times to demonstrate how good she felt.
“Even Sam?” I repeated.
Bertie stopped bouncing.
“What’s wrong with that? I’m not trying to insult the guy. I mean, nobody’s perfect. Even Sam. There…you see? That’s what I meant.”
My hand lowered. I dropped the brush on the dresser.
“I’m just wondering how you know,” I said.
“Know what?”
Bertie’s green eyes were wide and innocent, like she was just now beginning to realize what sort of dangerous territory she might be venturing into. But I’d seen her bat her lashes to great effect before and I wasn’t buying her guileless act for a minute.
“Oh, you know,” I said casually, “how good my husband is in bed.”
Don’t get me wrong. I wasn’t accusing anyone of infidelity. Sam had been in his thirties when we met. I knew he’d had a life before I became part of the picture.
But every so often in the course of our relationship disconcerting bits of information seemed to rise unexpectedly to the surface. Things that it turned out everyone was already aware of. Except, of course, me. It was a situation that left me wondering why I always had to be the last to know.
One time, the omission had been an ex-wife that Sam hadn’t deemed important enough to mention. Another, it was a video game he’d invented that had gone on to earn millions in the marketplace. So there was good reason why I might have been a little touchy about information other people possessed about my spouse.
Or maybe it was just the fact that I was pregnant. And feeling insecure about the shape of my body. And swamped with hormones that made me cranky.
But whatever the reason, I wanted an answer.
Bertie must have read the determined look on my face. She paled slightly. Either that or her post-massage glow was finally fading.
“Ummm…” she said.
“Not good enough.”
“Well…you know…it was Alana’s idea that we go and get these massages in the first place. She scoped out all the facilities in the health club and spa, and decided that Gunther’s room was the place to be.”
“And?” I prompted when her story petered out.
So far she hadn’t even come close to answering my question. Or had she? My eyes narrowed.
“So you and Alana went and had a massage together?”
She nodded.
“And maybe a little girl talk?”
“You know how it is.”
Sure I did. They’d talked about men. Jeez, what else did I think would come up while Gunther was applying his magic hands to their half-naked bodies? Certainly not dogs.
“And Alana, well…” Bertie lifted her shoulders in an elaborate shrug. “What can I say? She’s been a busy girl.”
“Alana and Sam?”
“She was talking about a long time ago. Like years! Long before the two of you even met.”
I’d figured as much. I trusted Sam implicitly. He’d never given me any reason not to. But still, when we’d talked about Alana the other night, it might have been nice of him to give me a little warning.
Men.
Why do they always think that what they don’t say won’t come back to haunt them later?
“So Alana and Sam had a relationship,” I said.
“Alana’s had relationships with lots of men. It’s what she does for entertainment.”
“We’re not talking about lots of men. We’re talking about Sam.”
I almost added my Sam, but I caught myself in time. Good thing. That would have sounded whiny.
“It wasn’t any big deal,” said Bertie. “Probably more like a one night stand. Maybe a fling.”
Funny thing about that, I felt like flinging something myself. Hormones again, no doubt.
“Apparently it made enough of an impression on her that she’s still talking about him years later.”
“That’s what Alana does. She kisses and tells. It’s not Sam’s fault.”
“I’m not saying it is. I just…” I stopped, frowned, then sat down on the bed. “I just…”
“What?”
“I don’t know.”
Bertie was looking at me with such concern that unexpectedly I found myself dissolving in a fit of giggles. I knew the reaction didn’t make sense, but it didn’t matter. Pregnancy was a mood swing roller coaster and I was just along for the ride.
“It just feels weird that the two of you were discussing my husband’s prowess in bed,” I said when I got my breath back.
“If it helps, she said he was stellar.”
“I don’t need Alana Bennett to tell me that.”
“She gave his performance an A.”
“Not an A-plus?” I started laughing all over again. “He must have learned a few things since she knew him.”
“That’s the spirit. For a minute there I was afraid you were going to kick my ass.”
“You’ve been pregnant,” I said. “You know how it is.”
“Yeah, I do. But now that you’re normal again, there’s just one more thing.”
“Go for it.”
“Brace yourself.”
“It’s that bad?”
“We were feeling so companionable that I told Alana to go ahead and book us a table for dinner.”
I knew Aunt Peg had a dinner date with Richard. I’d intended to fall in with whatever plan Bertie had made. That had seemed like a fine idea earlier. Now I wasn’t so sure.
“The three of us?” I said.
“And probably a couple of others too. You know Alana, she likes a crowd.”
That could work. I’d simply sit at the other end of the table.
“We won’t be discussing Sam, will we?”
Bertie choked on a laugh. “I highly doubt it. And certainly not in such graphic terms as she managed this afternoon.”
I threw a pillow at her.
Bertie dodged and shut up. Which was just what I’d intended.
The dining room was nearly full by the time we arrived. The buzz of animated conversation was so loud that the sound carried all the way out into the hallway.
It seemed as though Margo had been right. The same people who, only that morning, had been desperate to hear every detail of Charles’s death were now busy discussing the information they’d gleaned from another day of lectures and seminars. These were hardcore dog people. The murder had already become old news and they’d moved on.
As Bertie and I were shown to our table, we passed Aunt Peg, who was seated at a table for two with Richard. The pair looked very pleased to be in one another’s company. They also looked as though they wouldn’t welcome any unnecessary interruptions. Florence, thankfully, was nowhere in sight, so I decided not to worry about the fact that I had yet to deliver her message.
“It’s about time you got here,” Alana said when we reached our table. “Bertie, back me up. I’ve been telling Rosalyn and Tubby that they simply have to go spend some time over in the spa, but somehow I haven’t managed to convince them yet.”
“There isn’t time for everything,” said Rosalyn. “I signed up for a symposium, not to come and get pampered.”
Tubby dutifully hauled himself to his feet and helped me with my chair. He’d been snacking on bread and butter and he wiped his fingers on the napkin he’d tucked into his collar.
“Spas are for women,” he said as we settled into our seats.
“Tubby, you’re old-fashioned.” Alana laughed. “That’s a very narrow-minded view.”
“I may be old-fashioned, but I know what works. And real men don’t get facials and manicures.”
“What about a mud bath?” Bertie suggested. “Boys like to play in mud, don’t they?”
“I’d consider it.” Tubby swung his gaze her way. “If you’d like to join me and show me how it’s done.”
“Ewww,” Rosalyn said under her breath.
She was seated on my other side and I hoped the sound hadn’t carried. But if Tubby heard, he didn’t respond. He was totally focused on Bertie now.
“Naked,” he said. “Isn’t that the way you’re supposed to do those things?”
“Not me.” Alana tossed her head and her silky blond hair lifted, then resettled around her slender shoulders. “That gooey mud seeps into all sorts of little cracks and crevices and it’s hell to get out again…” She lowered her voice suggestively. “If you know what I mean.”
Obviously Tubby did. He turned away from Bertie to leer at the blond appreciatively.
Alana smiled and I realized she was competing with Bertie for Tubby’s attention. Not that there was much point. Bertie had no interest in Tubby and I doubted that Alana did either. The only thing he had going for him was that he was the only man at the table. Alana’s response was probably just a knee-jerk reaction.
“Ewww again,” said Rosalyn.
This time everyone at the table heard her.
“Don’t knock what you haven’t tried,” said Alana. “And let’s be clear about something. I’m not against nudity on principle. In certain situations, it can be very liberating. People tend to shed their inhibitions along with their clothing.”
“I’d certainly like to hear more about that,” Tubby invited.
Was there a woman at the table who hadn’t seen that coming?
“You know,” said Alana, “like at a nude beach.”
“Or in a hot tub,” Rosalyn added.
That brought the conversation to a stop.
“That’s what I heard,” she said after a weighted pause. Rosalyn looked around the table. “Charles was naked when they found him.”
“He was,” I said.
“That’s right, I forgot. You two were there.”
The gossip mill had been churning all day. By now everybody knew all there was to know about the tragic happening in their midst. Or at least they thought they did.
“Which two were where?” asked Tubby.
“Melanie and Bertie. They were the ones who found Charles.”
“Were you? It must have been awful.”
Tubby didn’t sound sympathetic. Titillated was more like it. I braced myself for the inevitable questions.
“Here’s what I want to know,” said Rosalyn. “Where were Charles’s clothes? I heard he was out there under the stars buck naked with nothing more than a skinny little towel. I’ve known Charles for years and that pompous prick would never have allowed himself to be caught out in such an undignified position. So what on earth could he have been thinking?”
“Probably that he wasn’t going to get caught,” Tubby said. His shoulders shook with a little giggle. “Wrong again.”
I exchanged a puzzled glance with Bertie. Neither of us had known Charles, but under the circumstances, I might have expected a little more restraint from our companions.
“Had Charles been wrong before?” I asked.
“Not to hear him tell it,” said Tubby. “He was like the ethics police. Always trying to tell other people how to live their lives. Not to speak ill of the dead but—”
“But nothing,” Alana snapped. Her shoulders were rigid, her cheeks flushed with color. “Whatever your opinions of Charles may or may not have been, I’m finding this whole conversation to be entirely inappropriate. Surely we’d do better to honor his life by remembering the good things about him.”
“Like his keynote speech?” Tubby said dryly.
“There was nothing wrong with that speech.” Alana’s voice had grown shrill. “Charles knew his position would be unpopular and yet still he had the strength of conviction to stand up and make his feelings known. I, for one, think that he should be applauded for that.”
“Before we go raising him up on too high a pedestal, let’s get real for a minute,” said Rosalyn. “Charles wasn’t the kind of man who ever had to worry about being unpopular. Probably not even once in his entire, charmed, frat-boy life. So delivering a talk like that wasn’t a show of bravery. More like a demonstration of arrogance. It was his way of saying, Here’s my opinion, and everyone should agree with me just because I said so.”
“Did we even listen to the same speech?” asked Alana. She looked at Bertie and me for confirmation. “Because I didn’t hear it that way at all.”
“Hard for me to tell what his motivation was,” Bertie said with a shrug. “I didn’t know him.”
“Me either,” I agreed.
“No loss,” Tubby muttered.
He raised a hand and summoned a waiter. “We’d better order some food, don’t you think? Otherwise we’ll be sitting here all night. And let’s change the subject too. I’ll enjoy my meal a whole lot more if I don’t have to talk about Charles Evans while I’m eating.”
As we opened our menus, Tubby pointed at me. “You. Come up with something better to talk about. Proper dinner conversation.”
Just about anything would sound proper compared to what we’d discussed thus far: murder and naked babes.
“I’ll do my best,” I said.