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Solution Tool 5: Adjust the Employer’s Perception of You
BECOME THE EXCEPTION TO THE RULE
Here’s a difficult truth: Like other aspects of business, the hiring process is often not fair. Employers’ concerns aren’t limited to what’s legal, accurate, or politically correct. Employers are human and, like all of us, make decisions based on their personal beliefs. So your age, gender, religion, disability, address, sexual preference, weight, ethnicity, and the like could get you screened out. Pretending it’s not true doesn’t change the reality. However, we have a simple, proven technique for changing the employer’s perception of you: Demonstrate you’re the exception to their belief.
Several years ago, Linda was negotiating with a successful businessman. When they finished, the man leaned back in his chair and said, “You’re pretty smart for a blonde.” The look on her face must have conveyed her shock at being the subject of the long-standing myth of the “dumb blonde.” He quickly apologized. She smiled, and teasingly said, “I guess you haven’t met many blondes.” Her friendly challenge to his myth didn’t necessarily make him believe that blondes are smart, but it politely pointed out that there are “exceptions to the rule,” and it may have set the stage for him to notice other smart blondes that cross his path. Once he meets enough exceptions, he may be compelled to reconsider his bias and adjust his beliefs.
Let’s further examine this idea that employer concerns may not be fair. When hiring, employers are especially sensitive about issues that have cost them money in the past, hurt a friend’s business, or been highlighted in the news—even if they’re not accurate, legal, or politically correct. This may seem unfair or shallow, but it’s quite reasonable to base current decisions on past experience. We all do it. What feels unreasonable is how a few bad apples can spoil the reputation of an entire group. Most of us have heard comments like “kids today are irresponsible,” “women are too emotional to make tough decisions,” “people who don’t have a job don’t want to work,” or “she’s a dumb blonde.” So what do you do when a stereotype, no matter how unfair or untrue, is threatening to impact your life? Pretending it doesn’t happen leaves you unprepared to deal with it. Showing anger gets you labeled as someone with a chip on your shoulder. How do you persuade employers to look past their assumptions and see your value? The answer lies in adjusting employers’ perception of you.
First some bad news: Persuasion is a slow and tedious process, because beliefs are deeply held, and intertwined with one another. Often, to change a single belief, a person must reconsider many beliefs. And the longer the person has held a belief, the more intertwined it is and the more difficult to change.
Now for the good news: We’re going to teach you a shortcut. It’s easier to convince employers that you are the “exception to their rule” than to convince them that their negative stereotype is wrong. Most people are willing to admit that there are exceptions to every rule. Presenting yourself as an exception (the one person for whom the stereotype is not true) can help you get the job. Later, you can help change the myth by introducing more and more exceptions, until the myth is no longer “the rule.”
Notice that we use the word “myth” rather than “prejudice.” We believe that much of what is termed prejudice is actually stereotypes handed down over generations without being challenged. They are based on ignorance, not malice (like the belief that hair color impacts intelligence). Once these stereotypes are challenged and evaluated by the person who holds them, they are often recognized as myths. Ignorant myths are easier to change than malicious prejudices. Clearly, malicious prejudice does exist, but the power of this approach is that when faced with a stereotype, you are better prepared mentally to present yourself as the exception, challenge the ignorant myth, and achieve your goal.
CREATING SOLUTIONS BY ADJUSTING THE EMPLOYER’S OUTLOOK
Here is how you can present yourself as the exception to the rule about negative myths employers may use to screen you out:
1. Stay focused on your goal. Work to be seen as an exception to the employer’s negative stereotype, not to change her belief about “your group,” whether that’s high school dropouts, former executives, returning military, people with learning disabilities, ex-offenders, an ethnic group, or whatever. Changing those beliefs takes too long, and it usually starts an argument. David’s story illustrates the point perfectly. David is a very capable, friendly administrative assistant who must deal with myths about people with disabilities. Years ago, David lost an arm in a car accident. He has chosen not to allow others’ stereotypes to frustrate him. In fact, he enjoys busting their myths and showing them what someone with a disability can do, as you’ll see in his story that follows.
BE A PERSON, NOT AN ISSUE!
No one hires older workers, single parents, the disabled, or career changers. They do, however, hire people they think can meet their needs who happen to be a part of one of those groups. Make yourself an individual, and focus on your value. As the employer gets to know you and listens to your good answers, she should decide that her initial concerns are not true about you, that she sees more value than expected, and that you are worth the risk.
2. Remember that persuasion starts where they, the employers, are. So step into their shoes and honestly imagine the negative myths they may hold about “people like you,” even if the myths are not true about you. You must also identify the potentially negative impact on profits those myths would have if they were true, because that is the employer’s actual concern. These are the myths you have to bust. David knows from experience that people with disabilities are often perceived as helpless or needing others to do things for them, full of self-pity, sadness, or anger, and making people without disabilities feel uncomfortable. He knows that most employers will also be concerned about practical things like his ability to type, multitask, and carry things. Knowing this allows David to be deliberate about showing and telling them why none of it is true about him.
3. Once you understand the myth, determine the best way to prove you are the exception. This means showing or explaining how you are different. Most employers are not comfortable asking about these issues, even though they screen out for them if their concerns are not resolved. You have a couple of options. You can directly introduce the topic and explain how you are the exception, or you can subtly address the concerns without bringing up the issue. David chooses the first option. He has learned that the best way to deal with his disability is to confront it head-on, because he can’t hide it. If he doesn’t acknowledge it, employers politely interview him without asking about his disability, and without ever really considering him for the job. Early in interviews, David addresses his disability, often as part of his response to “Tell me about yourself.” It sounds something like this: As you can see, I have one arm, but this does not interfere with my ability to be a great administrative assistant. I can type 65 words per minute with my specialized keyboard, I use a headset to answer phones and free up my hand for other tasks, and my right arm is very strong, so I have no problem carrying and moving things. I actually think it’s been a positive, because it’s forced me to become very creative, and I often see solutions to problems that others miss. (He is ready with a couple of stories that prove this point, if asked.) Also, others often say that my positive attitude about my obvious disability creates a more positive can-do attitude among coworkers. I’m confident that when you talk to my references, they will say it has not been a disability. Did you notice how David’s good answer became about his abilities, not his disability?
Mo chose the second option—to subtly address the concerns without bringing up the issue. As an Arab-American Muslim, he knows that directly addressing negative stereotypes about race or religion could be seen as accusing the employer of illegal or prejudicial practices, and that’s not how to win friends or influence employers. Laws have been designed to protect him against unfair discrimination, but he understands that it still occurs when employers believe the issue could cause a problem or cost them money. Mo is frustrated by the negative stereotypes, but he accepts that his goal is to get the job, not to change anyone’s beliefs about all Arabs or Muslims. He’ll present himself as an exception to negative stereotypes.
Mo recently graduated with a BA in Mechanical Engineering. He’s confident in his ability and work ethic but knows he must address myths employers might have. As he and his friends list the myths, they note how, if it were true, each could negatively impact the company. Employers might believe that daily prayers and Muslim holidays would disrupt the work schedule, interfere with meeting deadlines, or cause staff problems if they’re seen as special treatment. Coworkers and customers might fear that Mo is angry with America. Some employers might wonder if employing an Arab Muslim could disqualify the firm from government contracts. As Mo and his friends discuss these ideas, he has to fight his resentment, but at least he has a sense of the myths he needs to overcome.
Mo realizes interviewers won’t mention these myths, so he’ll need to find subtle ways to address them. He doesn’t want to appear obsessed with the issue or introduce concerns employers don’t have, so timing and tact will be important. To overcome concerns about cultural differences and his feelings toward America, he’ll wear a business suit and be his positive, friendly, American self. He’ll focus on what he has in common with the employer; he grew up in Wisconsin, went to school in the States, and holds season tickets for the Packers. He loves engineering and is excited about using his skills and creativity to do great things. He is hardworking, dedicated, and loves to learn. He is one of them.
Mo is applying to firms specializing in air quality and health care, so security clearance won’t be an issue. He can discuss holidays and daily prayers with HR once he is offered the job. If these topics come up in the interview, Mo will reassure the employer that he will organize his schedule far in advance, and share a story about how his friend, an accountant with a large local company, has successfully handled daily prayers for years, including his willingness to simply pray in his heart when necessary.
If the interviewer feels comfortable, or bold, enough to ask about his culture, religion, or views on Muslim extremists, Mo will acknowledge their concerns and present himself as an exception: With all that has happened, I understand your question. It makes me sad that many people have gotten a negative view of Islam. It teaches peace, self-control, charity, and kindness. This is what I strive for. My faith is a personal matter and I will minimize its impact on work. My goal is to be an excellent and reliable engineer for you, and a credit to my faith and my country—America. If this doesn’t address your concerns, I am happy to answer additional questions.
Whether you choose to be direct or subtle, remember, actions speak louder than words, so make sure your actions and attitudes back up what you say! In the end, employers must feel that although their myth may be true about some people, it’s not true about you. This allows them to look past the myth and focus on your value as an individual.
THINK ABOUT IT . . .The hiring process necessitates discrimination. Employers must discriminate between the skills, experience, and the fit of everyone competing for the same job. After all, only one will be hired.
4. Once you are hired, be a raging success at your job! Keep a positive attitude, and continue to prove you are the exception to the rule, because the myth can easily be reasserted.
If you don’t want to become the exception to the rule, you don’t have to. Some people find the challenge exciting and purposeful, but others find it lonely and frustrating. If you don’t have a strong desire or the fortitude to be a pioneer, simply change your job target. David could have approached companies under contract to employ people with disabilities, or that had already hired “people like him.” He chose to focus on the job he wanted and adjust the employer’s perception about him. Mo could have chosen to approach companies owned by Muslims or that do business in the Middle East. Instead, he, too, chose to prove he is an exception, with the hope of changing the rule.
If you want to actively work to change the employer’s stereotype, once you are hired, begin introducing other exceptions and keep doing so until the rule no longer applies. This may take years, but it is possible. History is full of examples: In the United States, at the beginning of the twentieth century, it was generally believed that black athletes were not strong and agile enough to compete with white athletes. In the 1950s, it was commonly believed that women couldn’t sell large-ticket items like real estate, stocks, and cars because they had no money sense. In the 1970s, it was believed that no one under the age of fifty had the wisdom to run a Fortune 500 company. Before the rise of YouTube and shows like American Idol, it was believed that the only way to become a famous musician was to first sign with a major record label. These myths have been well and truly busted. So if you want to be a myth buster, prove with your actions that the myth about your group isn’t true.
We just showed you how to craft a good answer to overcome employer bias. Now it’s time to learn how to craft good answers for other barriers that may be used to screen you out.
