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April
Alicia
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Grover whimpers under my desk. I put down the quilt I’m working on before getting up to go let him out to pee. I’m home today because I’m ridiculously late on a quilt. I should be able to finish it today, but I was urged to go ahead and take tomorrow off too just in case. After working on it all morning, I’m almost done. It didn’t feel right taking a day off; however, Hannah and Dante laughed off my guilt. Right now things are quiet in the office, so I was to enjoy my time off, as the office will get really busy within the next few weeks.
As I wait for Grover to do his business, my eyes wander around. For about the fifteenth time I think of Dante’s place. How hard would it be to at least soften the edges of this place? Maybe some paint on the walls, a few rugs. The area in front of the folding doors to the balcony is almost fourteen feet of open area where a sitting area feels like it should be.
Claudine comes in from the hallway with a large, beautiful bunch of pink tulips. “I couldn’t resist. A little something to liven up the place with the days being so gray and dreary the past few weeks.”
“They’re beautiful. I think it would take more than some flowers to liven up this place though, you’d have to empty out an entire floral shop.” I sigh.
Her smile is conspiratorial. “You want to do something about it?” I want to say yes yet I hesitate, worried about what Cesare would say. “Cesare would love it if you did something that made this more your home, not just his.”
I’m touched, knowing she wouldn’t have said it unless she had heard him say it first. “Okay, yes. I am dying to do something to this place. I have some ideas but I’m not sure how to put it all together.”
“I know. We call in professionals.” She pulls out her cell phone from her pocket. “I still have the number for the designers who did Dante’s place and work for Cesare and Dante. I’m pretty sure they’ll be willing to drop everything to do this.”
From her side of the phone, it’s clear she’s right. The conversation only lasts about three minutes. I run to get dressed, feeling sloppy in a loose shirt and pajama pants. Thinking of the women designers who are always perfectly turned out in designer names I couldn’t even pronounce, I change into a cashmere sweater dress and black tights. Once I’m dressed, I take the time to straighten my hair then swipe on some makeup.
As I come out of the bedroom the doorbell goes. It scares me, I’m so unused to hearing it. Grover barks at me for being an idiot. Two of the three women I had met the first day come in, followed by an assistant who is carrying a laptop. I’m surprised to see two of them. There is a marked change in the way they treat me since the last time I met them, when they acted as if I were annoying them. I know the tall blonde is Esme, but I can’t remember the redhead’s name. I decide to go with not remember either of their names because I also don’t know the assistant’s name. They aren’t pleased by that but they laugh it off, though not very well.
“I’m Petra, this is Esme and Jolene is the one with the computer. Jolene, get the measurements for the rooms, starting with this space. Claudine said you were looking to change the space. What did you have in mind?”
***
Alicia
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I check my watch as I come up in the elevator. I’m freaking exhausted. I want to take a nap, only it’s almost six thirty so I’m pretty sure Cesare will be home soon. He promised an early night and dinner out. I wonder if I should change, I’m pretty sure I broke a sweat as I tried to keep up with Esme and Petra today. One store, one ginormous store with what felt like a football stadium’s worth of furniture. Both women carried a measuring tape and their cell phones and managed to bark orders like drill sergeants. The furniture is going to be delivered tomorrow in the afternoon, after the men come in to put up the wallpaper in the morning, and the art will arrive in the afternoon with people who can put it up.
I’m excited but I want it to be a surprise for Cesare. I decided to go with wallpaper to avoid the issues with painting, which would take freaking forever, and there were really great wallpaper patterns that were nothing like the flowery crap I had first thought of when Petra suggested it. We’re also only going to do one accent wall so it won’t overwhelm a room. I hope it looks as good as it did on the computer mock-up.
When I open the door to the condo, I’m surprised to hear Cesare whistling. He’s home already? I follow the whistling into the kitchen, where he’s stirring a pot on the stove. It’s been three months since the first time I saw him, and I’m waiting for the time when I stop getting weak in the knees when I see him. Except I don’t know if I’ll ever stop getting weak when he smiles at me like he is right now. “Hey, what are you doing home already?”
His arms come around me as he pulls me close. “I seriously underestimated how much I was going to miss you not being at work. I’m pretty sure I didn’t get anything done today. Then when I got the email from Esme about the changes to the condo, I couldn’t wait to come home and reward you for having good taste.”
“Ah, I wanted it to be a surprise.”
He laughs. “No, you were afraid I wouldn’t like it.” God, he just gets me. He brushes a kiss across my lips. “Don’t be afraid, talk to me. I hate the idea of you being afraid to talk to me, to share your fears or concerns. I told you, you’re mine to keep and protect, and those things include keeping you happy, knowing you’re safe to come to me with stuff you’re worried about. You’re not alone anymore, Alicia. I know this is new to you, but I’m here and I’m not going anywhere, and neither are you.”
His kisses are soft and sweet. Vaguely I’m aware of Grover barking, then his little nails are digging into my tights.
“I swear, Grover, you can be such a pain. We’re kind of in the middle of something.” Grover just barks and takes off toward the balcony. “I always knew deep down I was a cat person.”
Cesare laughs as he pushes me toward Grover. “Go take care of him. I’m about to put on the pasta now that you’re home.”
“Okay.”
During dinner we go over the mock-up of the changes. I show him the samples of wallpaper in the few cases where I doubted my choices. Cesare is insistent he likes what I chose.
We take our shower together, where Cesare asks me sweetly to come into the office to have lunch with him tomorrow even though I’m going to be off. I promise I will, then push him onto the bench and climb onto him. He groans as he guides his thick cock into me. He surges inside me. Every time his first thrust deep inside me steals my breath, my soul when we become one. There is no me, there is no him; it’s us, something new, something unbelievably exquisite. I know he feels it too: his heart slams against his chest and my own answers him back. It’s a moment of perfection seared into me, into my whole being.
Feeling him deep inside me, fitting me so perfectly, that magical moment when we become one, it hits me. Mine. Forever. Cesare is branded into my heart, my very soul. He’s mine forever. The same way I belong to him, he’s mine to keep and protect and to do everything I can to make him happy. I’m so lucky the things that make him happy, also make me happy. “I want your cock in my ass, please, Cesare. I’m done with the toys. I want you to fuck me. I want to feel you fucking me and coming inside me. Please.”
Groaning, Cesare shakes his head. “I’m too close, cara, too damn close.” He groans as he yanks my mouth to his. Hell, how does he do this to me every time? It doesn’t matter I’m on top, he’s in control of my body, of me. I can’t fight him, don’t want to. His hard hands on my hips control me. More, please more. I’m begging, pleading, desperate for my orgasm, so damn close. Harder, faster he brings me down on him, yes, yes right there. I’m plunged headfirst into the waves, and they crash into me, threatening to wash me away. Shaking, I cling to Cesare as he groans into my skin, and I feel him explode inside me. Hot, wet, mine, my body grasps him from inside, wanting everything he has to give me.
***
Alicia
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The day starts early. I’ve just kissed Cesare goodbye when the door opens to four men with rolls of wallpaper and ladders. Claudine sees my eyes go big and lets me know she’ll take care of them. I thank her and take off to my room. Another hour or two and I should be done with my quilt. Only I don’t get an hour. The men are working fast, and they are ready for my room. Claudine opens Dante’s condo, sure he wouldn’t mind me taking refuge inside.
Once I’m inside, I’m drawn to the sitting room and all the pictures. I spend almost an hour studying them all. Even though Cesare has opened up about the time before his parents died, it’s been rare and in brief flashes, usually a funny anecdote about Enzo or Dante.
Seeing these pictures, Cesare in his football uniform, at a small piano in what is clearly their family home, another at a piano on a stage, laughing with Enzo, holding Dante’s hand, trick-or-treating dressed as a cowboy has my heart aching for what he lost. Yet I’m filled with hope too, because I know over the last few weeks Cesare’s smile has grown more free and frequent.
Finally I settle down with the quilt to finish it. An hour later I’m done with a sigh of relief. My cell phone rings, it’s Bethany. I had texted her last night that I was taking today off. It’s been a few weeks since I called her to let her know about the whole Kelsey situation, making it clear she had fucked up and she had Cesare to thank for saving her ass, and to make sure it never happened again. I was proud of her for sending Cesare an email thanking him for what he did. However, our conversations since were stilted and shorter than they used to be.
“Hi, what’s up?”
“I got in! To both programs. Duke and the University of Iowa. I also got into Emory, but you know Duke and Iowa were the ones I wanted.”
“That’s great! I’m so happy. Have you decided which one you’re going to pick?” My fingers are crossed for Duke, it’s such a prestigious university.
She sighs. “I’m going with Iowa.”
“Really?” Shit, did my disappointment come through?
“I know. I know. Duke is the bigger name and everything, but...this last year has been really hard. There were times I was afraid no matter how hard I studied, I wasn’t going to get it. I want a smaller, less hectic program. From everything I researched, what I’m looking for is in Iowa.”
“Where you want to be is all that matters. It will be nice for you to still be close by, a few hours’ car trip rather than a few hours’ plane ride.”
“Yeah, I’ll admit that was something I thought about too. I...um, I didn’t apply this time. But, uh, they called me asking if I would volunteer again this summer in Guadalupe at the clinic.” I deflate. Bethany had actually decided against starting the program over the summer, so she could have a break as once the program starts there are no breaks like there was for an undergraduate. She would have a few days off during the holidays but she wouldn’t have a summer break, only a week between spring semester ending and the summer semester starting.
She had a minor in Spanish, feeling it would help her in working in clinic and hospital settings. “I said yes. They are short volunteers. They were so desperate they are willing to pay for my plane ticket. So...I’m only going to have a few days between graduation and leaving for Guadalupe.”
“I’m proud of you for being in demand. I’m going to miss you over the summer.” I don’t tell her I had wanted to fulfill her wish to visit Madrid as her graduation present. It would only make her feel guilty.
Her smile is clear through the phone. “I’m sure you’re so busy with Cesare you wouldn’t have time for me.”
“I’ll always make time for you. Don’t even think like that. Cesare mentioned he was looking forward to meeting you. At least for a few days you’ll have the apartment to yourself.”
“You still have the apartment?”
“Yeah.” I’m confused she would ask the question.
“I don’t know, I guess I just thought with you moving in with Cesare it meant, you know, you moved in completely. Does he know you have your apartment still?”
Shrugging, “No, he never asked me.”
“Okay.” She says it slowly, like I’m a small child. “Doesn’t he wonder where all your stuff is?”
“No. I’m not ready to let go of the apartment. I love him but...I don’t know. I don’t think it’s a big deal. I can afford it. It’s only been six weeks since I moved in. Let me give it a minute.”
She sighs. “Okay, but don’t be surprised if he’s not happy when he finds out. I have to go my next class starts in ten minutes, and it will take that long to get to the building.”
“Okay, I’ll talk to you later. Congratulations.”
“Thanks, love you. Talk to you later.”
Hanging up, I consider her question about my apartment. I’m not ready to think about it right now. I decide to go get ready to leave for lunch with Cesare.
***
Alicia
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I’m so excited I could burst—I absolutely love the way the condo has turned out. It’s gorgeous. The leather furniture is gone, replaced with a high-backed modern sofa in navy with deep plush seats where I easily picture us napping on a Sunday. There are two matching oversized chairs with a long tufted ottoman in a pretty sky blue. The wall above the sofa is where the large, oversized reproduction of Wanderer above the Sea of Fog fits perfectly. When I tried to describe the painting I was thinking of, I was impressed Jolene knew it immediately. On the other wall is wallpaper of faux thin gray stone with the television on a console table. There is a huge silk carpet in a gray blue under the furniture.
A six-by-six bookcase separates the space. I had run back to my apartment with a nice guy who helped me box up all my books and lug them back here in a van they had. I had five boxes of books, but they wouldn’t be enough to fill the bookcase. There was a moment of embarrassment as Jolene showed me the accessories she had purchased, small ceramics, elephants, owls, not a single thing I thought Cesare would like. I didn’t say anything, but I left and was about to go shopping when I remembered all the pictures Dante had. I ran to his place and picked out my favorites. Claudine had let me in and understood. She offered to take care of getting duplicates made and buying the frames to fit.
Now the bookcase has books interspersed with photos, and other small decorative items I thought would be more interesting. The small seating area in front of the folding doors is made up of four rolled-arm leather chairs in dark brown around a round wooden coffee table that has a vintage-look radio with a turntable, CD player and Bluetooth speakers.
I kept the long, massive ebony table but changed out the dark leather chairs for leather chairs in a cream color. The wall behind the buffet table was covered in a damask ivory and silver to soften the area. Petra replaced the bland lighting above the table with a long rectangle light that runs the length of the table. Crystals shimmer, softened by a white canvas shade. A scenic reproduction of a vineyard in Tuscany is the art for the wall in the dining area.
We left the kitchen, Cesare’s office and his workout room alone. In my room I picked out wallpaper in ivory and shimmer damask for the accent wall. I also picked out an ottoman that matches my chaise.
In the bedroom there is a new thick, plush white rug. I went with a damask wallpaper with the pattern in a raised velvet in gray and silver. I actually like the white on white in here, it feels clean and light. Although the raised velvet wallpaper is only for one accent wall, I had all the other walls covered in a cream grasscloth-textured wallpaper to soften the stark white on them. Jolene had also bought a new comforter and three different duvet covers of various patterns in grays and blues, then showed me how to change them out to replace the black silk comforter.
I’m nervously pacing, hoping Cesare likes it as much as I do. I check my phone to see I missed a text from him. Billings called and asked if they could get together, and Billings wanted it to be a one-on-one meeting. The text is only three minutes old, but Cesare texts a question mark as I bite my lip, trying to come up with a response that doesn’t look like I’m whining. Sighing, I text I understand and I’ll miss him with a kiss emoji.
He responds he’ll miss me too and not to wait up, as Billings sounds like he’s in a mood. With a groan I respond with a simple “k,” then throw myself on the couch. Huh, this is super comfy.
At loose ends on a Friday night, I could curl up with a book, a sexy book. Only I can’t stop thinking about what Bethany said about keeping the apartment. I text Lydia and ask if she’s free for dinner. It’s been a few weeks since we had lunch on a rare Saturday when Cesare and Dante had to meet with a client.
Lydia responds she’s free. I ask her if she wants to come over or if she would prefer to go out. I’m relieved when she says she’s happy for someone else to cook dinner, and she’s been looking forward to wearing sweats all day. I offer up a few different meals I’m pretty good at making, and she picks the swordfish. Running to the kitchen, I pull out the swordfish to defrost. Then dig out asparagus to go with the red potatoes. I do a caprese salad in case she wants something a little extra.
After I show her around, I go back to the kitchen to plate up our food then pick out a wine I’ve grown to love. “This place is gorgeous. You did an awesome job.”
“I hope Cesare thinks so too. I mean I changed his whole home.”
Lydia shakes her head. “No, you changed your home. You live here too now. It sounds like he’s happy you took the initiative to make this a real home, the way you want it to be. Also, hello, it’s a massive improvement and he said he didn’t spend much time here. Now that he’s been spending time here because of you, I’m sure he was sick of it too.”
“That’s actually something I wanted to ask you about. I still have my old apartment, I didn’t give up the lease. Bethany made it seem like a big deal. I think it’s too soon. The rent is a steal for the area and the building, and since I can afford it...I don’t know. What do you think?”
“I think I understand where you’re coming from. If it was a financial hardship, then I’d tell you not to be stupid. Since it’s not, I get it and I’m not going to tell you to let go of it, it’s a security blanket in a way. You have it if you need it, all the while hoping you don’t. I do think she’s right, I wouldn’t tell Cesare because I think he would demand you give it up immediately. He also might be a little hurt by you feeling like you need it.”
Nodding, I agree. “I think you’re right. I’m not going to keep it forever, just until he talks about forever. So you never said, how did you become a stylist?”
I have more fun than I thought I would. We talk for hours. Then go back for an evening snack with ice cream. When she starts yawning, I ask the front desk to get her a cab then walk her downstairs. Back in the condo I’m surprised it’s already almost midnight.
I take a long, hot bath with the yummy-smelling oil Cesare used that night. Then I decide to wear a sexy babydoll in black lace Gertrude had suggested. In bed, I turn off the lights but I can’t get comfortable, tossing and turning for what feels like an hour even though I am starting to get tired I can’t sleep. I hear the front door, but it takes forever for Cesare to come into our room. I reach out and turn on the bedside lamp.
He’s looking around the room, then his eyes come back to me. I’m propped up against the headboard. “Thank you for making this space a home. I love it.”
“Really?” My teeth catch my bottom lip.
Nodding, he begins undressing. “Yes, really.”
“If you really love it. Then maybe I deserve a reward for doing a good job.”
Naked now, I can’t take my eyes off my favorite part of him. “A reward?”
I nod, then lean over to open the bedside table. I take out the lube I had purchased and put in it earlier today. “A reward for the both of us.” I offer him the lube.
His smile warms me to my bones, and I just melt for him. “Indeed. I like your nightie.”
“Hmm...I do too.”
Cesare comes down on the bed, lifting me up and over him. I gasp as I wonder what the hell he is doing. Then I understand as he lowers me down on his chest. “Good girl. You’re going to ride my mouth until I make you come so many times your whole body couldn’t resist my cock in your ass if you wanted to.”
My hands go down on the bed to catch myself. Okay, that sounds like a plan. This is one of Cesare’s favorite positions. I don’t dislike it, but sometimes he makes me come so many times it’s almost painful. Tonight I welcome it. I’m not wearing any panties, and Cesare doesn’t waste time. As usual I’m already wet for him, but he takes me to the edge hard and fast with his amazing mouth.
Tongue deep, fingers teasing, he has me moaning and gasping through an orgasm in minutes. Fuck. He doesn’t let up, not stopping as my entire body shakes uncontrollably. Now his fingers do more than tease—they dive deeper into me. Holy fuck, those fingers turn, finding that spot and demanding my climax, wringing it from me. Oh god, I scream as I buck against his mouth.
Please, it’s enough, I beg. Please fuck me, I want your cock. He doesn’t stop, doesn’t even hesitate. Those fingers slide up into my ass. After several weeks using the toys, using the largest one for the last few weeks, my body accepts them easily. For the first time he slows down, those fingers lazy as they move inside me. He’s tormenting me, I swear. I plead for his cock, and Cesare chuckles. I think I might hate him. Until his mouth begins to take me to heaven all over again. Okay, now that’s really enough. Please, I beg.
He still doesn’t stop. Too much, this is too much. With his mouth driving me crazy and those fingers where I want his cock, he sends me crashing into another climax. I’m in tears now; my body feels too sensitive. Begging, I fall forward, unable to hold myself up.
“Hmm...now you’re ready.” I feel him move out from under me, but I can’t even lift my head. I hear the lube flip open, then Cesare moan as I know he coats himself. Before I can turn my head, his hand comes down on my hips, forcing me onto my knees. My bones still feel like mush but I try, excited even through my languor.
Oh, I catch my bottom lip as the head of his cock presses slowly into me. From using the toys and the four orgasms in a row, there is no resistance. Hot, so hot, the toy wasn’t hot but this is no toy this is all Cesare, hot, hard, and thick. Deeper, yes, more, I can take it, please. Oh god, he’s buried inside me to the hilt. We’re both working to swallow air as we take in the feeling. I whimper his name, unable to form other words. His hand glides up my neck, his grip firm as he begins to move. Slow, small thrusts build to faster, harder, more. This isn’t good, this isn’t hot; this is fucking phenomenal, better than any hope I had of this moment.
My head goes down as my arms give out, unable to hold me up. Everything in me is centered on Cesare inside me as the pleasure surges through me from my fingertips to my toes. There is nothing else but this moment, this feeling. Harder, yes, faster, please, the words are barely out when the climax I thought was still just out of reach slams into me with the force of a freight train at a hundred miles an hour. The scream is squeezed out of my lungs as I bury my face in the mattress. As the world slips further away, I hear Cesare groan my name then feel him come deep inside me. Hot, wet electricity zips up my spine, tipping me over into darkness.