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May
Alicia
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Although my body is still humming with satisfaction from making love with Cesare, as I lie in bed my mind won’t settle. Tomorrow Bethany graduates. Although, I was shocked by Cesare offering to come with me to the graduation I had been set to jump on the offer. Until stupid Dante reminded Cesare one of our most important clients was flying in for an afternoon meeting from New York that day. Even though I was disappointed I understand, I was just happy he wanted to come. It’s the middle of May and it’s been three months since I moved in. And every day feels better than the last. All because of Cesare. Every day I fall a little more in love with him.
It’s also because of him that I finally have an awesome graduation present for Bethany: a weekend in London. I had no idea he owns a private jet, and in the next breath he was offering it up for Bethany to take to London. It was also faster than a commercial flight, it would take only five hours instead of the almost eight hours of an airline. Since Bethany only has four days between graduation and her flight to Mexico, I was thinking of a weekend in New York. However, Cesare’s idea is way cooler. Then I told him I always wanted to see London. His reaction when he realized I was going too has me smiling even three week later.
“Wait, why do you have to go too?” As he pulls me into his arms, those wrinkles across his forehead scrunch with unhappiness.
Running a finger over those lines, I whisper against his mouth. “Because she’s my little sister and she’s not going alone. She doesn’t have many friends. Her best friend is in Los Angeles. I’ve also always wanted to travel to somewhere that wasn’t less than two hours away from here.”
“I don’t want you to go.” His lips brush mine over and over, teasing me. “No, stay here. It’s good for your sister to be independent.”
His teasing driving me crazy, my arms go around him to hold him in place for a proper slow kiss. “It’s only three days and two nights. You’ll have the bed all to yourself. Grover will be here to keep you company.”
“I don’t want the bed to myself. This place will feel empty without you. I changed my mind, you can’t take the jet.” He tries to pull away.
Even though he’s trying to pull away, I feel his cock throbbing against my hip, so I don’t let him go. “Pretty please with I’ll suck your cock all night long on it.”
He stops. “How about pretty please with just two days and one night of you gone?”
I rub against him. “Hmm...how about pretty please with it will make me unbelievably happy and grateful to have a man who cares about me so much he’s willing to put my happiness before his own.”
His groan is loud against my neck. “Christ, you don’t fight fair.”
“You taught me well.”
When he pulls back to look down on me, I shiver at the glow in his eyes, and his wolfish smile. “Fine. But you spend this weekend completely naked for me.”
Oh lord, he’s insane. It’s something he’s teased me about often. Little did he know I already planned to spend Saturday, his birthday, completely naked, except for the dinner we planned on having at Dante’s with Enzo. “You’re on. We keep the door locked, and I’m naked all weekend long except for when we go have dinner at Dante’s.”
He presses his cock against me. “Let’s seal the deal.”
The weekend had been so wonderful, I’m already planning to do it again soon.
“Alicia, why didn’t you get your sister a bed for when she spends the night here?” Cesare asks as he dries his hair. “Were you planning on making her stay in a hotel?”
Crap. Over the last few months I retrieved a few things from my apartment with the explanation I got them from storage. Which technically my apartment is right now. I have made up my mind I’ll let my landlady know I won’t be renewing when my lease is up in four months. Although I’m pretty sure Cesare still won’t think it’s soon enough.
“Alicia?”
“She’s not staying here. She’s staying at my apartment.”
He goes still, the towel in his hands. “Your apartment?”
“Yes.”
“You haven’t given up your apartment?”
Eyes down, hating the confusion on his face, I shake my head.
“Why not?”
“My lease is up in September.” My stomach is in knots. “It’s a great apartment. I’ve lived there for over seven years. I thought better safe than sorry.”
I don’t hear him move; all I know is his hand is in my hair. His grip is tight as he pulls me back to look at him. “Do you think I’m going to let you go?”
My throat works as my fear won’t allow me to lie. “I don’t know.”
“Know this: I’m not letting you go. You belong to me. Do you understand me, Alicia?”
He’s nearly vibrating with aggression. “Yes.”
“Tomorrow we go to your apartment. We bring everything back you want to keep. Once your sister has left for Mexico, you give your landlord your notice.”
“Yes, okay.”
With a sigh he lets me go. I’m a little lost without his hand. For the first time since I have slept with him, when he climbs into bed he doesn’t pull me into his arms. Instead he turns onto his side with his back to me.
He couldn’t have hurt me more if he slapped me. Even though I know I hurt him, I can’t hold back the tears. Cesare has to know I was only trying to protect myself. He called me his but he never told me he loved me; he never talked about a future.
I can admit it now: I said I didn’t want a man in my life because it was easier than saying no man wanted me. Without a man in my life I believed children weren’t an option. Although it made me a little sad, I consoled myself with the thought that at least I could sleep as late as I wanted or leave the house at the drop of a hat or spend all day reading. They were small pleasures that never felt like a fair trade-off. Now that I’ve been dumb enough to fall in love with Cesare, I want his babies with a fierce desire almost as strong as my need for him. I dream of having little boys with big black eyes and dimples who tumble around the house and a big backyard. Is that a dream Cesare shares too? If not, would he at least be open to it, or is it not even an option?
I’m surprised to hear Cesare swear seconds before he pulls me into his arms. Sniffing I bury my face in his neck. “I’m sorry. This all feels overwhelming sometimes.”
“Talk to me, Alicia. Whatever your thoughts and fears are, I need you to share them with me. I’m not going anywhere, and neither are you.”
I nod, grateful for the cover of darkness as I swallow the fear lingering within me.
***
Cesare
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Alicia is driving me crazy. It feels like we move three steps forward then two back. When I called Hannah to tell her I wouldn’t be in today, her shock wasn’t a surprise. I’ve never not gone into the office unless I was laid out sick. But this feels too important to leave up to Alicia to do on her own. I really believed she saw this place as her home, the changes she made were so complete, done with such care. I loved the changes, from more comfortable furniture, to the colors on the walls, to the pictures from the past. How could she put everything she did into transforming this place into a home, and still keep her old apartment as an out?
Another punch to the heavy bag lands with satisfaction. This morning I’m so filled with frustration I hadn’t even started with weights like I normally do, my first thought was getting to the bag. Heat hits me then flares, and I turn to find Alicia in the doorway watching me. Her big eyes are wide, her breathing shallow; those beautiful breasts swell below my gaze with her nipples becoming fine points of desire. In this way, there are no secrets she hides from me. One look at her and I’m hard, only I don’t trust myself to touch her right now. We also don’t have much time. I know Bethany’s graduation is at one, and it’s a little after eight thirty. The way I feel, she’d be very late.
“Give me ten minutes. I need to shower then we’ll go to your apartment to pack everything up.”
She nods before continuing down the hall. I go take a shower.
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I carry up the boxes I had Daniel purchase along with a few rolls of tape before picking us up today. When he drops us off, I let him know we’ll be a few hours. I’ll call him when we’re done.
Alicia shakes her head. “I don’t think we’ll take the full two hours.”
He shrugs. “I’ll be close by.”
As she opens the door to her apartment, the memory of pressing her up against it flashes brightly. Walking inside, I study the room, recalling my fear she had brought Wyatt here. It’s not large, but it’s clean and cozy and easy to see her touches here that match the way she decorated our home.
We work for an hour and it looks like she’s right, we’re almost done. I had laughed at finding the two vibrators in her bedside table. When I told her we would be playing with them tonight, her eyes glowed up at me with excitement. Damn, she is beautiful. I hadn’t been able to resist pulling her to me for a kiss.
I spot a canvas carryall at the top of the closet and take it down. Alicia’s eyes go big. “I’ve got it. It just goes in a box.”
Immediately my antenna goes up. I unzip it. Inside there are two pairs of jeans, a pair of sweats, two T-shirts, and one sweater. Which seems normal until I find a box of granola bars, two packets of tuna in a tear-off pouch, a large Ziploc bag that holds what looks like a thousand in cash and her passport. Okay, then I find a large switchblade knife, a heavy flashlight and just as I’m shaking my head, trying to figure what all of these things are doing in one bag, at the bottom of everything is a small vibrator, a bottle of lube, and a four-pack of batteries. My eyes go up to her; she’s blushing and I can’t hold in my laughter. “What in the world is this?”
She mumbles something I can’t make out.
“What?”
“It’s a go bag.”
I know what a go bag is. However, they’re far more common for people on the run from various law enforcement or criminals, not a civilian like Alicia. They’re what people grab when they need to get out of their location fast, usually cash, clothes, a gun, anything they might need until they could get somewhere safe to regroup. Is there something else she’s keeping from me? “Why in the world do you have a go bag?”
“Don’t you remember after 9/11 when we had all those drills? They said at the time it was a good idea to have a bag packed for clothes and stuff in case we got evacuated and couldn’t get back to our apartment. I thought it was a good idea. Once the boiler went out in the building and I almost checked into a hotel before they got it going again. Then when Bethany went to Mexico to volunteer in a medical clinic, they told her not to put her passport with her other luggage, basically they told her to have a go bag hidden. I added the knife and flashlight after...um, I watched this television show where a guy talked about a go bag.”
“When did you add the vibrator and the lube?”
She rolls her eyes even as she blushes. “When I got a new one. It still works fine. I don’t like throwing things away.”
This is my Alicia, a crazy mix of careful, thoughtful, dreamy all in one package. I tug her to me. “You’re crazy, neurotic, and beautiful, but I’m glad you’re mine.”
Her arms go around my neck to bring me to her mouth. Sweet, so sweet, my sweetness. Gasping, she backs up, her arms still around my neck. “For six long weeks I dreamed of you here with me in this bed. Before I get rid of it, care to make my dreams come true?”
“All you have to do is ask.” I moan into her mouth as I tug at her shirt.
***
Alicia
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Listening to the steady thump of Cesare’s heart below my ear, I’m relieved all is right again. Cesare sighs. “Cara, it’s getting late. I don’t want you to be late. You still have to go home and get changed.”
“You’re right. I need to pick up the car from the rental place.”
“No you don’t, Daniel is driving you.”
I sit up. “What? When were you going to tell me? And I can drive myself, I’m a big girl.”
Cesare shakes his head as his hand comes around the back of my neck before yanking me down to inches from his mouth. “There is no need for you to spend the cost on a car when I have three with drivers at my disposal. I feel better knowing Daniel is driving you.”
“Cesare—I—”
“You would deny me the assurance you’re safe?”
He’s driving me crazy. I do not want to fight with him after just making up. “Okay, fine.”
Which is how I find myself being driven to Bethany’s graduation in a fucking limo. Why couldn’t we have used the Town Car? I feel like people are watching when I pull up outside the small apartment complex to pick up Bethany.
She opens the door and we both shriek as we hug each other. It feels like way too long—it’s been since Christmas. Not surprisingly, she lets go before I do. “Okay, Mom, I need to breathe.”
“Oxygen is overrated,” I mumble as I continue to hold her tight.
“Wow, who has the fancy ass limo?”
Letting her go, I groan. “Us. Cesare at his bossy finest.”
“Wow, I really like this guy.”
“Say that now. We’ll see what you think after you meet him tonight. He wants to take us for dinner at the restaurant in the Hancock Building.”
“Ooh la la, which fork do I use for what again?”
“Haha. Oh, but I do have to admit he’s the donor of a part of your graduation present, so I can’t be too mad at him.”
Her face lights up. “Am I getting a limo?”
“No, smartass, how about the weekend in London? Two nights, three days, we go there and back in his private jet.”
She squeals. “Oh my god that is amazing. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Do I have to call him daddy now? I’m okay with that.”
“Such a comedienne you are. Come on, let’s get you to your graduation. It’s time to get the diploma you earned.”
The ceremony takes forever, and I’m grateful for Cesare telling Daniel to stop for lunch as we left Chicago so I could eat on the way. Thankfully Bethany is all packed. As she always does, she’s already sold or given away her bigger items, so she only had three suitcases and four boxes, all of which easily fit in her car. Daniel jumps out of the limo to help us load the boxes. Only an hour after the ceremony is over, we’re headed back to Chicago. I’m in the limo following Bethany’s car.
We stop at my apartment to drop off her suitcases and the car, putting it into the overpriced garage I paid for every month just so we could store the car for three months of the year. She’ll only take one suitcase with her when she goes to Mexico, the rest will be put into storage. She hadn’t taken the time to pack her one suitcase, though, she would do it tonight. I had no idea Cesare has a storage room in the building he owns as big as a two-car garage.
Bethany is a little kid playing with all the buttons and looking at all the liquor in the small cabinet. “Wow, a billionaire. It’s just kind of hitting home now. A billionaire with a fancy jet we’re taking to London for the weekend. So are his brothers single?”
I laugh. “Yes, both of them are. They are also too old for you.”
“No fair. Cesare is nine years older than you.”
“There’s years and there’s experience.”
“Well in that case he’s like ancient and you’re a baby.”
“A baby who gives you your allowance every month, so watch it.”
She sticks out her tongue at me. “Whatever. When are you guys getting married?”
Groaning, my head goes back against the headrest. Trust Bethany to cut right down to the heart of it all. “I have no fucking idea. He’s driving me crazy. He talks as if we’re forever, but he doesn’t actually say the word. He has also never even said he loves me, not even in Italian. I know it in Italian because I looked it up because I’m pathetic.”
“He speaks Italian?” I close my eyes. “Okay, yeah, sorry, wrong question. Maybe you should say it first.”
“Are you fucking crazy?”
“No yelling. Don’t yell at me. What really is the worst that could happen? What are you afraid of? You’re saying he talks as if you’re going to be together forever. What, do you think you saying it is going to send him running screaming from the room? I mean, that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. Here’s a guy who has never even had a woman in his home, and he moves you in. Kind of sounds like he loves you to me.” Bethany shrugs as she sniffs a decanter.
“What? He’s never had a woman in the condo? How the hell do you know that?”
“Claudine called me to get my schedule and likes and dislikes for food or if I had any allergies. She thought I was going to stay with you guys over the summer. We got to talking. I like her, she’s nice.”
I can’t believe I didn’t know that. I’ve never asked, too afraid to know about the women in Cesare’s past, hating every single one of them for ever touching him. Daniel parks illegally as we get a doorman to help with Bethany’s boxes. These guys are amazing, they pull out a flatbed dolly that holds all the boxes. Only one of them comes up with us to unload it. I show him to my room to unload them in the walk-in closet.
Bethany whistles. “Holy crap on a cracker this place is insane. I can’t believe you live here. You picked all this stuff out?”
Laughing, I follow her around. “Yes. I did have help. There were a few times I flinched at the cost of some things. But the decorators wouldn’t let me pass on something that fit because of the cost. Cesare agreed—the man really doesn’t care about the price of things.”
“Only you would think that’s a bad thing.”
Shrugging, I sigh. “I don’t want him thinking he gets his way with money.”
“But does he try to? You called the guy a workaholic, yet he’s spent almost every Saturday since you moved in here with you. Am I missing something? You talk about going to places like the Art Institute, which is your favorite place in the city, and the Shedd, which is your second favorite, and having dinner at home with his brothers, not shopping or fancy-schmancy places. Are you going to awesome places and not telling me, or is he buying you jewelry and you haven’t told me?”
“No, no fancy places. He did suggest shopping, but I nipped that in the bud.” I blush as I remember the diamond-encrusted watch he tried to give me. He wasn’t happy when I refused it. I wasn’t happy he gave it to me after a small squabble about him working on a Saturday. There was no way he was going to use money to smooth things over in our relationship. I remembered all too clearly Dante’s speech and Jeanine saying he stole it from Cesare. Cesare promised he wouldn’t, and admitted he was afraid of even buying me something sparkly for my birthday in a few weeks as he asked me what I wanted. I told him I needed time to think about it, but I already knew, I was just trying to work it out with Dante.
Bethany checks her phone. “It’s almost five, I’m starving. Is there something I can snack on? When are we going to dinner?”
“Yeah, of course, let’s find you something. Cesare says the reservation is for seven. Is that okay?”
“Ehh, yeah, but I have to admit I’m already tired, so after dinner would it be okay if you guys took me back to the apartment?”
“Sure. Get plenty of sleep. We leave tomorrow at nine.”
“I’m so excited.”