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THE KIDS WERE ALL BATHED, their costumes folded and packed away again, and tucked into bed. Sometimes, it was difficult getting them all in bed at the same time. Alex and Jamie had their hands full, even working as a team.
At least this time, it had been relatively easy. Alex had gotten the twins down without trouble and Markie had gone to bed by himself – something he had never done before. Jamie saw it as a complete win.
She rocked baby Rosie in her arms, humming a lullaby that she had grown up with. The twins and Markie had been through this lullaby, too. Even though Jamie hadn’t had the best childhood, and most memories connected to her mother were bad, especially since what had happened a year and a half ago, the lullaby was something that had stuck.
And since Jamie had used it on her own kids, and her own family life was so perfect, it had become something beautiful to her, renewed.
When Rosie was asleep, Jamie carefully tucked her into her crib. When she was sure that the baby wouldn’t wake up again, she tiptoed out of the nursery, switched off the light so that the nightlight cast a soft glow, and walked to the bedroom.
Alex was already in bed, propped up with a book on his lap. He had been waiting for her, obviously. But his chin lolled on his chest and he was snoring lightly.
Clearly he had dozed off.
Jamie smiled and wished she could take a photo. But some things were better left as memories. These were the little things that made her so completely head over heels for her husband. The small things they shared, the way they could just be themselves at all times. It wasn’t something Jamie had grown up with, and she loved how comfortable she and Alex were around each other.
As silently as she could, Jamie padded around the bedroom, changing into her pajamas, brushing her teeth, washing her face. She untied her hair and ran her fingers through it, finally ready to get into bed.
When she slid under the covers, she moved slowly so that she didn’t wake Alex.
But he stirred next to her, rolled onto his side and threw his arm over her hip.
“Is she down?” he asked in a sleepy voice.
“Yes, it was easy. She is such a sweetheart.”
He mumbled something she couldn’t hear. She planted a kiss on his cheek.
“Are you tired?” Alex asked.
Jamie tried to stretch out the kinks in her back. “Always,” she sighed.
It seemed that both of them had forgotten how exhausting it was to have a newborn in the house. With the twins, it had been a challenge – they had had two babies to deal with at the same time. Somehow, this seemed just as difficult. Or more difficult, but in a different way. They were trying to balance the needs of three other children at the same time as taking care of Rosie.
It was quite a struggle.
Just after Rosie had been born, Alex had suggested getting a nanny. But there was absolutely no way Jamie was walking that road again. Yes, it was absurd handling four children alone, with just the two of them and Alex still working most days. But Jamie would rather struggle all day long than have a repeat of what had happened a year and a half ago.
She just didn’t trust anyone with her children anymore. Markie had been taken, and even though he had been returned safely and it had turned out to be Jamie’s mother who had taken him, that didn’t change the fact that Jamie and Alex had been terrified. It didn’t change the trauma of what had happened, and it didn’t change that they had nearly lost each other. It had put so much strain on their relationship that it had taken them a very long time to bounce back from.
There had been mention that their nanny, Brianna, had been involved in the kidnapping. Even though there had been no proof, and Jamie and Alex had been willing to absolve her of her guilt at first, it just hadn’t worked out. They had let her go, opting to keep themselves and the kids as safe as possible.
Besides, Jamie and Alex weren’t in this alone. They had Christine and Paul and Mark and Erica who were more than willing to help. Between the six of them, they always figured something out. So maybe they didn’t have dates night as often as they used to. Maybe it was a lot more difficult than Jamie had thought it would be. Maybe they could really use an extra hand.
But that didn’t change anything. It didn’t change the fact that she just didn’t trust anyone else with her children anymore.
Alex had understood when she had put her foot down, and the topic had never been raised again.
“I’m going to stay home tomorrow,” Alex said in the darkness. Jamie had thought that he had fallen back asleep again. She frowned.
“You don’t have to do that. I can handle it. The mornings are chaos but once I get the kids to school and it’s just me and Rosie, things calm down.”
“Are you sure?” Alex asked.
“Yeah, you don’t have to keep taking time away from the office.”
Alex had been working for five days a week, but business was booming and he was needed at the office more often than not. Jamie appreciated how involved he wanted to be and that he was making an effort to change things. But she didn’t want him to have to give up his career. After all, they had decided together to have another baby and it wasn’t going to be this hard forever.
“Promise you’ll call me if you need me?” Alex asked.
“You know I will. But I am going to try figure this out for myself first. It won’t be long and then she’ll be sitting up and crawling, and then everything will be easier.”
“Why does it seem like we always forget what it’s like at first? How many times have we done this? Somehow, we still thought it would be easy.” Alex’s voice was filled with humor.
“I don’t know,” Jamie admitted. “But you have to admit, it’s worth it.”
“Every moment of it. I absolutely love having so many kids around the house. This place would be so boring without it.”
Jamie smiled and rolled against Alex. He put his arm around her shoulders, tucking her closer. She lay with her head on his chest, listening to the rhythmic beating of his heart. As long as they were together, they could make this happen. They were in this as a team, and even though they had been married for quite some time, Jamie was still as in love as ever.
“You are such a Rockstar mom,” Alex said. “Do you know that?”
Jamie giggled. “Yeah. You tell me every night.”
“Sorry,” Alex said. “It’s sleep deprivation. It gets to the best of us. I forget what I say.”
Jamie smiled. “It definitely gets to the best of us. I feel like we haven’t slept in a year.”
“And she hasn’t even been around that long.”
“I can’t believe how time is flying, though,” Jamie said. “It feels like it’s been a long time, but at the same time, it was just the other day we brought her home.”
“I know. It’s scary.”
Jamie nodded against Alex’s chest.
“Have I told you how beautiful you are?” Alex asked.
Jamie smiled and tipped her head up to give Alex another kiss. “Yeah, you tell me that every night, too.”
“Oh, good,” Alex said. “Because you should be reminded, you know. Sometimes I think you forget.”
“You won’t let me,” Jamie said with a giggle. “Because you tell me every morning, too.”
Alex nodded. “Yeah, that sounds about right. I am glad I remember the important things. Now I can sleep easy.”
Jamie smiled and snuggled tighter against Alex. He was such a wonderful husband. And such a great father. Everything he did was for the family, for her, and she was always taken aback by how much he was willing to invest, how he was willing to prioritize them above everything else.
It hadn’t always been like that. Alex had been very career driven at first, and there had been times that Jamie had wondered if he was willing to give up even a moment of his precious time at the office. But he had changed a lot and he had really made an effort to be there for her and the kids. And when he knew that she was going through a tough time, he made a plan to be there for that, too.
He was so attentive and caring now.
Jamie listened to Alex’s breathing even out, and then he softly started snoring.
She smiled again. The snoring didn’t bother her at all. It wasn’t a lot, but to her, it was the soundtrack of her life. It was the only assurance that he was there, that she could rest easy because whatever she couldn’t handle, he would be there to help her. He had her back.
And that was all that mattered. It was funny that she felt that way about his snoring – Erica complained about Mark sometimes. But to Jamie, the little things was what it was all about. Falling asleep in bed together, drooling a little, snoring at night. Waking up with sex hair, walking around with tomato sauce still on T-shirts because the kids were having burgers. The little imperfections were the things that made it all real, made her picture perfect life exactly that – picture perfect.
The past two months had been hard, but it was the type of struggle that Jamie had expected. The normal type of struggle. Nothing like what had happened when Markie had been kidnapped and nothing like the fear that had returned for a while during the Fourth of July, when Jamie’s mother had been released on parole.
Thankfully, that was all behind them. The difficulties they had to deal with were the standard family type difficulties. The things they were all equipped to handle.
The things that left good memories in their wake, good feelings, and not bad ones.
Jamie closed her eyes and listened. She couldn’t hear the kids’ breathing, but the fact that the house was quiet was a good sign. Everyone was asleep and it was the end of a good day.
And, tomorrow, they would have another good day together.
Finally, Jamie let herself drop off to sleep, too.
