Chapter 7

JAMIE OPENED HER EYES on Thursday morning. What time was it? She rolled onto her side to search for the time on the nightstand.

She sat up in bed, stressed. Where were the kids? And Alex? It was a weekday, Alex was... But no, she remembered. He wasn’t at the office. And when she listened, she could hear Alex entertaining the kids so that she could sleep.

But now that she was awake, her mind started turning. She thought about what had happened the day before, about the threatening phone calls that didn’t say anything at all, the brick through their dining room window. She shivered. The picture of Alex on her windshield.

Like a weight, the information pressed her down and she felt like she couldn’t breathe. How was she going to deal with this? How was she going to handle everything that was happening? It felt like a repeat of the past, even though it wasn’t exactly the same.

Jamie closed her eyes. She felt like she could just go right back to sleep. She was so tired, so very, very tired. She felt like she could sleep until this was all over.

She hated this. She hated how her fear and worry practically incapacitated her. She had slept in late, she hadn’t even heard Alex’s alarm. She hadn’t even woken up for the kids. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. How could these emotions get to her so badly? The last time, when Markie had been taken, she had been just as devastated.

Jamie hadn’t thought she would have to live through this again. And yet here she was. Back in bed, worrying about someone trying to rip their family apart. It was like some sick, twisted déjà vu.

Jamie’s mind was spinning. Who would do this to her? Who would want to ruin her life?

Well, she knew who had wanted to ruin her life before. Her mother had kidnapped Markie in an attempt to drive her and Alex apart. And it had nearly worked, too.

Could it be her? Could this be another attempt to do the same? It seemed almost impossible.

Jamie rolled over and opened her nightstand. She pulled out a folded piece of paper, the letter Christine had given her at their gender reveal party, which had also celebrated the Fourth of July.

She ran her fingers along the sharp edges of the letter, thinking about everything that had happened between her and her mother since they had gotten Markie back. The prison sentence, the fact that Jamie hadn’t bothered visiting her mother at all. The restraining order. Jamie’s decision not to have her mother a part of her life ever again.

Jamie,

If you’re reading this, thank you. I know I did nothing to deserve the opportunity to explain myself. I wouldn’t blame you if you throw this way before you read it.

I’m sorry.

I am so terribly sorry. My actions are irredeemable. This past year has given me time to really think about who I’d become and what I’d done to the people I love. There are no words I can offer besides I’m sorry.

I don’t expect it to fix anything. And I don’t expect you to forgive me. But I need you to know that I am desperately regretful of what I have done.

You have a beautiful family. It was selfish of me to try to ruin that because of my own personal feelings toward Alex. He takes care of you and his children. I can see that now. Better care of you than I ever did, and that makes him a wonderful man. The right man for you.

With this letter, I want you to know that you and your family are safe. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you ever again. I don’t need you to believe me, saying it is enough.

I wish you every happiness.

Love,

Mom

When Jamie had received the letter, it had been Christine who had given it to her. Because Jamie’s mother had known that if she had mailed it straight to Jamie, Jamie would not even have bothered reading it at all.

And even when Christine had given the letter to Jamie, she had been suspicious. She hadn’t wanted to read it at first. Because she wasn’t ready to forgive her mother, she wasn’t ready to accept what had happened and move on.

But the letter had suggested that her mother really was sorry. And for the first time, Jamie’s mother hadn’t asked to be forgiven, hadn’t asked to be a part of the picture again. She had accepted that Jamie might never want to forgive her for what she had done. She had merely wanted to apologize.

Did that change anything? Jamie wasn’t sure, Everything was going wrong again, and she didn’t know if her mother was behind it. It didn’t feel like what her mother would do, but kidnapping hadn’t been something Jamie would have expected her to do, either.

Jamie felt like her head was spinning. How was it possible that everything was going so wrong again? Why couldn’t they just have a little bit of peace? What bothered her the most was the fact that it was incapacitating her, that she was stuck in bed unable to get up. It was happening all over again.

But this time, Jamie wasn’t going to let it take over her life. When Markie had disappeared, the situation had gotten out of hand very quickly. After all, you didn’t walk around every day preparing to have to find one of your children.

This time, it felt like Jamie could do something. She didn’t have to let this railroad her. She wasn’t going to let whoever out there was set on destroying her family to get away with it.

She opened the nightstand again and reached for a small business card. It belonged to Officer Heather Halloway, the officer who had informed Jamie that her mother was being released on parole. The officer who had helped them get a restraining order in place. When Jamie and Alex had gone to the police station, Officer Halloway had given her card to Jamie and said that if she ever needed anything, she should reach out. Well, Jamie was going to reach out.

She was going to take matters into her own hands. She could get ahead of this thing before it took over. She could hide, or she could rise up, and she refused to be the mother who sits back and lets a situation take on a life of its own. The last time, when Markie had been taken, she had been powerless. It didn’t have to be that way again.

Jamie got out of bed. She jumped into the shower and washed quickly before she tied her hair up into a ponytail and threw on jeans and sneakers. She found a matching jacket, shrugged into it, and put on a bit of light makeup. Just enough to make her feel bulletproof.

She headed downstairs and kissed the kids, who were all sitting at the dining table, eating the pancakes Alex had made. He sat at the table, too, but he wasn’t eating. When he saw Jamie dressed, he frowned.

Jamie walked around the table and kissed him, too. “To the police station,” she said.

“I’ll be all right,” Jamie said. “I’m going to see Officer Halloway.”

“We’ll go with you,” Alex said, determined. “I can have the kids ready in a snap. That way, if we’re all in a group, we’ll be safer.”

Jamie shook her head. “Really, babe, it’s fine. Stay here with the kids. I won’t be long, I promise. And I’ll call you on the way home.”

“I didn’t go into the office because it’s safer to stay home,” he said. “But it’s not just about that. I’m worried about you, honey. I’m worried about what might happen.”

Jamie nodded. “I know. But that’s just the thing. I’m not going to let whoever out there is trying to hurt us have the upper hand. We are stuck at home again because we are too scared to move. And it shouldn’t be like that. I’m not going to let whoever is doing this to us force us to live by the rules. We are going to nail this thing and fast. I want to continue living my life. And I’m tired of being scared, tired of being helpless. This has to end.”

Alex stood and wrapped his arms around Jamie. “You are an incredible woman,” he said. “And I understand exactly how you feel. But I really think it might be safer if we stay home, or if we all come with you. We can even call the police to come out to us again. I’m sure Officer Halloway will be willing to accommodate us.”

Jamie understood Alex’s concern. But that was exactly it. They couldn’t live like this. They couldn’t continue their lives in fear, always looking over their shoulders. It had taken Jamie a year to recover from what had happened with Markie. And it had nearly ripped her relationship apart. She wasn’t going to allow that to happen again.

She wasn’t going to lose another year to fear and panic and trauma and all the rest of it.

“I promise I’ll be safe,” Jamie said. “At the moment, it’s just messages that are supposed to make us scared. And it’s working, but I don’t think anything will happen to me. Besides, I’m going to the police station, the safest place we know.”

Jamie nodded. “I know. But we are not going to live in fear anymore. And I want to take care of this. So that we can enjoy the rest of our lives together without being scared. So that we can enjoy our Halloween without feeling like we have to stay home. What’s going to happen if the kids can’t go trick-or-treating? Can you imagine how devastated they will be?”

Alex nodded. “You’re right. I just feel like I should be the one to go out there and make everything right.”

Jamie shook her head. “I’m the one that is being stalked right now. Let me handle it. Besides, I’m not just going to sit back and let everyone else take the reins again. This time, I’m going to stand up and do something about it.”

Alex tried to argue a few more times, to get Jamie to reconsider. But she had made up her mind – she was going to do this. In the end, all Alex could do was make her promise to phone when she arrived here and when she was on her way home. She would let him know that she was safe so that he could stop worrying.

“Never forget that I love you,” Jamie said. “I love having a family with you. And I want to keep doing it without worrying.”

“I love you, too,” Alex said. “Just remember that the biggest thing to me is that I have you and the kids with me, no matter what else happens. I wouldn’t be able to bear it without you.”