Brendan looked at Arden, feeling the condemnation in her gaze. Who was she to pass judgment on the way he ran his household? She had only moved in yesterday. She worked for him. It was up to her to accommodate herself to his schedule, not for him to change his ways.
“Lannie took care of child raising. She said that was her job, just as I have mine. Besides, if I start routines, then disrupt them because of being called away, it’s more unsettling for the girls.”
“Kids are resilient, they can adapt.”
“The way we have things set up works for us,” he said with finality.
If he’d spoken to one of the men at work in that tone, they’d have immediately complied, not talked back.
“Maybe it works, but it doesn’t sound real joyful,” she muttered.
Brendan refrained from making a reply. Arden was nothing like his wife. Lannie had been the first to suggest his unscheduled departures could disrupt young lives. Nothing had changed when Ella took over. He still made trips, worked late, and couldn't count on being home at the same time every day.
Ironically, Lannie had been the one to die. His job was occasionally dangerous, there was no denying that. But instead of his leaving her a widow, Lannie had left him. And with their two little girls.
He missed the soothing routines she’d established. Her arms greeting him. He missed her.
Now, instead of her warm smile opposite him at the table, he had a stranger glaring at him.
“What?” he asked.
Had he missed something?
“Hailey asked if you liked spaghetti. It’s her favorite dinner,” Arden said. Her voice was calm, but fire flashed in her eyes.
“It is?” He looked at Hailey and smiled. “I love spaghetti, sweetheart. It was my favorite meal when I was a kid.”
“Arden let me help,” she said proudly.
“Good for Arden.”
His gaze met hers across the table and he nodded once. At least the girls seem to like her, and the first day was always difficult. Things would work out. They’d discuss the children and get things settled tonight. He would make this arrangement work. What choice did he have?
Some time later, Arden slipped from the girls’ bedroom and headed down the stairs. Brendan had come up to tuck them in, after all, and she wanted to give him this private time with his daughters. They were freshly scrubbed and looked adorable in matching nightgowns. The contrast between the small, feminine little girls and their rugged daddy tugged at her heart. She’d love to paint the three of them.
Maybe in that scenario, Brendan would be a warrior at rest, with adoring children at his side. In a garden, with his honed masculine body in stark contrast to the gentle flowers and serene setting.
She sat in a chair in the living room, truly relaxing for the first time that day. She missed her aunts. Maybe she’d run out tomorrow and see them. And take the girls. They’d love Eugenia and Love. She’d have to ask Brendan if she could have her aunts visit when he was gone. Aunt Love missed her kitchen, and Arden knew no one could resist her aunt’s baking. The girls would find it a special treat to bake cookies with her. Arden always had.
“What did you do with them today? They’re so tired, I think they were asleep before I closed their door. Didn’t they nap?” Brendan asked as he walked into the living room.
Marched in, more like it, Arden thought, sitting up and going on alert. Her fatigue fled. Suddenly, she felt more alive than ever.
“Of course, they took naps, but they had a busy day. We played in the yard this morning. Hide-and-seek is still lots of fun for them and with all the shrubbery and lawn furniture in the back, we had lots of places to hide.”
Brendan sat on the sofa, stretched out his long legs and leaned his head back, closing his eyes
“Hide-and-seek wore them out?”
“No. We also went for a walk to explore the neighborhood. I was hoping to find a park within walking distance so we could have a change of scenery from time to time, but we didn’t find one.”
Arden stopped and looked at him.
“Am I keeping you up? We could talk tomorrow if you’d rather.”
He opened one eye, shook his head, and closed it again.
“I’m not tired, I’m listening to you. I can concentrate better with my eyes shut. So no nearby park.”
“No, but it was a long walk. Then we had lunch and I read their new books while they lay on my bed. That’s when they fell asleep and slept for a couple of hours. After they woke up, we played ball in the backyard until I started dinner. I can get you some coffee or something. I didn’t bake today, but will once I get to the store and buy the ingredients. You have little in the cupboards.”
Brendan raised his head and opened his eyes.
“Did Ella show you where I keep the money for household expenses? Cash for groceries. I usually write checks for the bills. We need to get an account for you to sign on for the times when I’m gone.”
His gaze drifted down to her legs.
Arden shifted uneasily. Maybe she should have taken time to put on her stretch pants or a skirt. But the shorts were comfortable in the Virginia heat. The house was cooler now, but during the day, she’d left the windows open for the fresh air. It wasn’t yet full summer when it’d be too hot to ignore the air-conditioning.
Brendan’s gray eyes locked on hers.
“I’ll take a long lunch hour tomorrow and we’ll meet at the bank. Now about those ground rules you wanted to discuss,” Brendan said.
“It’s a matter of philosophy, I guess,” Arden said slowly. “You threw me for a loop with your comment about woman’s work tonight.”
“And hit a hot button.”
She nodded. “I was raised by two aunts who did everything at home, so I guess I believe everyone should pitch in. If you have different ideas, maybe we need to discuss them. If I can’t fit in, we should discover this before the girls become attached to me.”
Brendan nodded.
“Their mother and my own were full-time homemakers.”
He looked away, his voice softening when he spoke again.
“Lannie loved being a wife and then a mother. She fixed up our house to suit her, and it was always immaculate. Her meals were creative and elegant. Once Hailey was born, she sewed little dresses for her, made the curtains in the nursery. We each had our roles in the marriage and she enjoyed being a homemaker. I guess I still expect the same thing, which is unfair to you.”
Arden stared at him. It was the most she’d ever heard him say. And so eloquently. His love for his dead wife shone in every word. She needed to cut him some slack. His entire world changed with the death of his wife.
What would it be like to be loved like that? To know she was the bright spot in someone’s life? To know that even years later, her loss would be catastrophic.
“But that role is not necessarily the right one for everyone. Wouldn’t you want your daughters to grow up knowing they have a choice for what they want or don’t want to do?” she said quietly, trying to keep her mind focused on the present, and not off dreaming about what couldn’t be.
“Of course I want that for them. But setting or not setting the table won’t warp them for life.”
“No, but hearing a man say it’s woman’s work might. While I’m here, I plan to teach them how to clean and put things away. Everyone needs to know basic housekeeping to keep their own place neat, not just girls.”
“Your point is made. And taken. I’ll refrain from chauvinistic Neanderthal comments in the future, if you’ll refrain from making my daughters ardent feminists.”
Arden smiled, happy to discover Brendan Ferguson had a sense of humor.
“Deal. Besides, when they’re older, you might be glad they can mow the lawn or change the oil in your car.”
“And you can teach them that?”
“Not at this young age. But yeah, pretty much anything.”
“Undoubtedly the result of your aunts’ teaching.”
“That’s right. We did everything around that old house and cared for the cars to save a few dollars,” Arden said in fond remembrance.
“The same aunts who now live at Ocean View?”
She nodded. “I really miss them.”
“Then why are you here and they there?”
“It’s a long story.”
Brendan felt a sense of anticipation. She couldn’t possibly explain what happened in just a few words, he thought. He settled back against the cushions to listen to her. He liked her voice, low and tinged with a hint of a Virginia accent.
“I’ve got a few minutes,” he murmured.
“Then I’d rather talk about the girls and give you my life’s history another time,” she said with some asperity.
He looked over at her lazily.
“It’s eight forty-five at night. You don’t look old enough to have a long history behind you. Tell me more about yourself and then we’ll discuss the girls.”
Arden sighed theatrically and shrugged. “My folks died when I was seven and I went to live with Aunt Eugenia and Aunt Love.”
“Love?”
“Her name is really Pearl Lovell Glover, but her parents called her Love as a child and it just stuck. Do you want Aunt Eugenia’s full name, too?”
He shook his head, feeling a hint of amusement.
“Anyway, they’re my dad’s aunts actually, so are my great-aunts. They were in their early sixties when I went to live with them.”
“They seem old to have the care of a seven-year-old,” Brendan murmured.
“It didn’t seem so. They have more energy than most people half their age. Anyway, there wasn’t anyone else. So, for better or worse, we were stuck with each other, although I realized later they could have refused to have me and sent me to foster care. Not that they’d ever do such a thing. They loved me right from the first. I was slower to fall for them, because I really missed my parents. But at least Aunt Eugenia and Aunt Love knew enough to give me time. Now, of course, I’m crazy about them, as is everyone else who knows them.”
“Did you have a falling out?”
She glanced at him and frowned.
“Since you aren’t still living together.”
“No, the house they lived in for the last twenty-eight years didn’t belong to them. They rented from Mr. Phelps. He was a character, too. Old as the hills when I first moved there. Anyway, it leaked when it rained, let the wind whistle through some rooms because the windows didn’t close properly and cost a fortune to heat, but it was home. And inexpensive. Mr. Phelps had given them a low rent when they first moved in and never raised it.”
“Let me guess. Mr. Phelps is no longer with us and his heirs weren’t quite so generous?” Brendan guessed dryly.
Arden nodded. “Exactly right. His son couldn’t wait to raise the rent. Only we didn’t have enough to pay the extra amount he was asking, and it’d have been really dumb to spend so much rent on a house that’s falling apart. So the aunts decided to check out a retirement home. They can afford the one they chose and love being by the beach.”
“But that move left you out in the cold.”
Arden looked at him warily. Brendan almost laughed at the expression on her face. The story sounded like a soap opera. Couldn’t she see the humor in it?
“I have a good friend who invited me to stay with her. But her husband comes home soon from his deployment and I know they want to be alone. Besides, this great job opened up and here I am.”
“So your cryptic comment at the interview about taking care of others meant you cared for your aunts?”
“Somewhat. For the last few years, I cooked most of the meals, though Aunt Love is the world’s greatest baker. She makes the most marvelous cakes and pies. And her cookies are melt-in-your-mouth good. Eugenia has never been much of a cook and she has arthritis now, which limits all she can do. But both are sharp as a tack mentally. Their memory is much better than mine. You’ll love them.”
“What?”
“Oops, I meant, I assume I can invite people over occasionally? They’ll want to see where I’m living. And the girls will love them. That’s what I meant. Your girls will love them. Sort of like having grandparents around.”
“They have grandparents in California.”
“I know, Ella said your parents retired there.”
“And their mother’s parents live in Georgia. And come to visit twice a year.”
“Any aunts and uncles?”
“Two aunts, two uncles.”
“Well, if Hailey and Avery are used to relatives being around, they won’t mind a couple more.”
Brendan didn’t want them to share Arden’s relatives. He didn’t want her to make a place in his daughters’ lives that would be hard to fill once she moved on. And despite her assertion about not wanting marriage, he didn’t trust her to remain for the full three years. Wasn’t that why he was going to continue to search for a nanny who would fully meet his requirements?
That was the only reason. Not the feelings she engendered in him whenever she was near. He could handle that. It was to safeguard his daughters that he needed to find a replacement for Arden soon.
“Why did you say marriage wasn’t for you?” he asked, suddenly needing to know.
Maybe she could tell him something that would convince him she meant what she said and hadn’t just thrown out the words to make a favorable impression at the interview.
She shook her head.
“We’re not close enough to share something that personal. You’ll just have to trust me on this. I don’t expect to ever marry.”
Rising, Arden smiled politely, but Brendan saw the distance in her eyes, and felt as if a wall had been established between them. Interesting reaction to a simple question.
“I’ll finish up in the kitchen and turn in. Tell me where the bank is located and I’ll meet you there tomorrow.”
Brendan rose, standing close enough to her he could have reached out a hand and touched her shoulder.
“Want help in the kitchen?”
The words startled him. He’d never offered to help Lannie, though he’d enjoyed sitting at the kitchen island and drinking coffee with her while she worked.
“No, thanks. The bank?”
Obviously, the time to talk had ended. And they hadn’t even started on the children. Why had the question about why she didn’t wish to marry caused such a reaction? Was she recovering from the loss of someone as he was?
He never planned to remarry so he could understand that reason. If so, why not just come right out and say so?
I don’t ever expect to marry. The words echoed in Arden’s mind as she cleaned the pots and pans that had been soaking and put them away. She’d been careful for years not to get so involved with a man she’d have to tell him she could never have children. An occasional date was fine, especially if the man enjoyed the same activities she did. But at the first hint of a growing seriousness, she backed away.
She was content with her life and the plans she’d made for the future. She’d spend her passion on her work and find delight in other aspects of life, just like Aunt Love had done. She wouldn’t repine for what couldn’t be.
And for three years, she’d be a part of this family without any involvement in her heart. She’d do her best with these precious children, and by the end of her stay, she’d have her degree and maybe some experience to jump start her career. The fact she’d be twenty-eight by then didn’t bother her. With her entire life still ahead of her, it didn’t matter how long the basic training took. As long as she kept focused.
She snapped off the lights and went to her room. The boxes Brendan had brought in yesterday were still stacked in the corner. Maybe tomorrow she’d get some unpacked. First thing she’d look for would be her pastels and pen and ink so she could begin drawing again.
Maybe even sketch her warrior.
Getting ready for bed, Arden kept her emotions at bay. But once she slid beneath the sheets and switched off the lamp, they rose and threatened to topple her.
The longing for a mate never dissipated. Despite her tight control of her thoughts, the yearning surfaced. She wanted to be loved for herself and share the love that filled her with someone special. To know there was one person in the world who would cherish her, love her, support her dreams, and offer solace when things in life didn’t always work out the way she hoped.
Fear sometimes swamped her. Fear for the lonely future that she faced the endless years she’d be alone once her aunts died.
Tonight she pushed it away, concentrating instead on how she would sketch Brendan as a warrior king of old. Castle ruins in the background, she decided as sleep claimed her.