Before dinner was over, Hailey asked if Brendan would watch a movie with them before bed that night.
“What movie?”
“Frozen?” she asked hopefully.
“I’d love to watch the movie with you two.”
He glanced at Arden. “Will you join us?”
She shook her head. “I’m tired, I think I’ll go to bed early.”
She didn’t meet his eyes, but continued to concentrate on clearing the table and then doing the dishes.
Of course, the television was in the family room with just the thickness of a door from her. She could hear the excited voices of the children, Brendan’s quiet tones. Then the murmur of the movie.
When the smell of popcorn wafted in, her mouth watered. She’d eaten plenty of dinner, but there was something about the aroma of popcorn that had her wanting some.
Trying to ignore the enticing image on the other side of the door, she went to the drafting table to study her project. It was a design implementation as a prototype for one of her classes. Almost finished, it didn’t take long for Arden to be caught up in her project as she put on the final touches.
Pleased with the work, she carefully rolled it up and put it in a tube to protect it. Now what? The movie still droned on. Were the three of them cuddled together on the sofa? Or had Brendan sat in the chair and left the sofa for the girls?
She longed to peek out, but instead drew her sketch pad closer and began drawing a picture of Brendan and his daughters on the sofa. His hard features were softened as he looked at Hailey. Avery snuggled against his side while she placed Hailey a little apart, telling him of their day.
Arden studied the drawing when she finished. She’d captured the excitement in the children’s expressions and the bafflement Brendan sometimes displayed around his girls. Flipping over the page, Arden began to sketch another.
It was late when she put her pad down and stretched.
She was still wide awake, but a glance at the clock showed it was after midnight. Listening for a moment, she heard nothing. Everyone else had gone to bed hours before.
She rubbed her eyes. They felt strained after hours of sketching. And the results of her work were for her eyes only. She wouldn’t share pages of pictures of Brendan Ferguson with anyone.
Standing, she rotated her shoulders to loosen up. Maybe one day, in the distant future, she’d have a showing at an art gallery and could frame some drawings. She loved the one where she’d depicted him as a Viking warrior. And the one in the flower garden with two dainty little girls. That one she’d like to paint, maybe using oils. Watercolor would be too weak.
“Yeah, right, your own showing. They don’t show commercial art,” she scoffed.
Pacing her room, she decided to take a walk in the yard. Maybe the cool night air would clear her head. Then she’d try to go to sleep. She should be exhausted, but she felt full of energy.
Punching in the security code on the panel by the back door, she let herself out into the yard. Looking directly overhead, she could see the vast array of the stars in the night sky. The trees blocked a panoramic view, but she could see enough to fill her with delight. There was no moon, just the black canopy sprinkled with a million points of light.
It was a balmy night, with just a hint of a breeze. She wandered around the yard until she grew cool. Time to go inside and to bed.
Stumbling over one of the girls’ toys, she almost fell. She nudged it aside and headed for the house. Pausing for a moment on the stoop, she looked up again at the stars. Maybe one night she could take the girls to the beach after dark and let them see the entire sky as black as velvet with the scattering of a billion stars.
She turned to go inside, pulling the door behind her.
Suddenly she was grabbed from behind.
“All right, what are you doing here?”
Brendan’s harsh voice sounded in her right ear.
“Brendan, it’s me, Arden. I live here,” she squeaked.
He turned her, his hands hard against her upper arms. She reached out and touched bare skin. Snatching her hand back as if she’d been burned, she tried to see him in the darkness.
“Arden? What are you doing outside at this time of night?”
“I couldn’t sleep. I thought I’d just get some fresh air. Is that a crime?”
“No. Of course not. I heard something, came downstairs and found the door open. I know I closed it and set the security alarm before I went up. When I saw you come in, I thought, well, never mind.”
“That I was a burglar?”
She almost laughed.
“At least we know we’ll be safe when you’re home. You must be a light sleeper.”
“I wasn’t asleep.”
“Oh.
She was conscious he still held her, but his hold had changed from capturing to almost caressing?
She could feel the warmth from his body envelop hers. Daringly, she reached out and touched his bare chest again, her fingertips exploring the expanse of skin. At last she had direct contact with those muscles she’d longed to trace and explore. His skin was hot, the muscles rock-hard beneath.
Opening her palm, she pressed it against him, stepping closer, breathing in the very essence of Brendan. Her heart skipped a beat and then settled down in a rapid tattoo.
“I didn’t mean to worry you,” she said softly, entranced by the shivering sensations that filled her, the tingling in her hands that seemed to zip through her entire body.
“Why are you still up?” he asked.
She shrugged. “I worked on my project, finished and then drew whatever picture I wanted for a while. When I realized how late it was, I stopped, but still needed to unwind. So I stepped outside for a breath of fresh air. Now I need to get to bed.”
And step away from temptation. But her feet refused to move.
“You work too hard. You should have gone to bed early like you indicated you were,”he said.
This from the man who worked all day on a Saturday?
“So what’s your excuse for still being awake?” she asked.
“Habit.”
“Habit?”
He took a deep breath. When he let it out, it ruffled her hair.
“When Lannie first died, I used work as a means to forget. To keep my mind occupied, so I didn’t have to think about her. Now it’s just a habit. Fill the hours with work to keep from thinking, missing.”
“You need to spend more time with your daughters. Wait,” she said before he could respond. “You said earlier you couldn’t relate to them and would feel more at ease with a boy. That has nothing to do with their being girls, you know. You need to spend time with them. Find out what they like to do. Teach them things they want to learn. They can play ball or learn to swim, or whatever you think is appropriate.”
“They’re so little. I’m afraid of any rough-and-tumble in case they get hurt.”
“They won’t break if you use some sense. Run with them, laugh and play. But most importantly, spend time with them. These are precious years that, once gone, won’t ever be back. You need to build memories to last a lifetime. Give them memories to last their lifetimes.”
His hand moved up her arms to her shoulders, then to cradle her head, his fingers rubbing in her hair, releasing the clasp that held it back, spilling the cascade of curls into his palms. His fingers caressed each strand as if it were silk.
She was having trouble breathing again. Did he have a clue what his touch did to her?
“You’ll have to show me how, Arden.”
“How?”
She was confused, captivated, entranced. What was he talking about?
“Show me how to be a good father,” he said, brushing his lips across hers. “Spend time with us to make sure I’m getting it right.”
He brushed her lips again, then trailed ardent kisses along her jaw, across her cheeks.
She was lost. Her train of thought vanished as a will-o’-the-wisp. Alive with sensation, with her blood racing through her veins and her breathing hard to come by, she stepped even closer and shut her eyes when his mouth took hers in a searing kiss.
The stars outside dimmed in memory with the starburst that came. His lips were hot and compelling and she rose to the challenge, matching him kiss for kiss.
When his tongue skimmed over her lips, she opened them, shivering again at the delight that filled her. Pressing against his chest, she held on tightly, wishing the moment would go on forever.
He deepened the kiss and took her to the stars and beyond.
Sanity returned in short order.
“Don’t pull away Arden,” he muttered, kissing her eyes, her forehead, her cheeks again.
“We can’t do this,” she said breathlessly, resting her forehead against his chin, wishing she could let go of her inhibitions and let the moment take them where it would.
Releasing her hands, which had somehow become locked behind his neck, she slowly drew them down and then pushed lightly against that rock-solid chest.
He released her instantly.
“Do you want me to apologize?” he asked.
She shook her head. “No. Never that.”
Taking a deep breath, she moved to the counter, leaning against it gratefully. Her knees were too weak to hold her.
“Then?”
She wished the light was on so she could see him. But then he’d see her. Would he guess how his kisses had affected her? One look and she was sure the entire world would know.
“This can’t go anywhere.”
“It won’t. It’s just a few kisses.” His tone was light.
“Then there’s no point in tempting fate, is there?”
“And is it tempting?”
She shrugged, then realized he couldn’t see her clearly.
“It could be,” she said slowly. “I need to go to bed. I’m going to see my aunts again tomorrow.”
“Running away?” he asked softly.
“Prudently stepping aside,” she said.
Sidestepping to the opening to the family room, she turned and fled to her room as fast as she could.
She leaned against her closed door, reliving his kiss. Powerful and erotic, she still felt the tumbling sensations that made her feel like soft pudding inside.
Pushing away, she hurried to get to bed, determined to put the last few minutes out of her mind and get to sleep.
She could hardly wait to see her aunts. Maybe discuss with them the problem she faced.
How could she be falling for a man who didn’t want any involvement, and who if he ever married again, would want more children, especially sons?
But sleep didn’t come quickly. Arden lay awake a long time, staring into the darkness, and trying to ignore the ache in her heart.
On Sunday, Arden spent the day with her aunts, but elected not to tell them about her feelings for Brendan. She already knew what they’d say. Hadn’t she already planned for her future? Better to carry on with that than risk heartache by falling in love without being able to marry.
She stayed away until after she knew the girls would be asleep. Almost sneaking back into the house, she went directly to her room seeing no one. She heard Brendan moving around, but didn’t call out. Thankfully, he wasn't in the family room.
Monday morning, she delayed going to the kitchen until she heard Hailey calling her. When she entered, the little girl was balanced on the counter, trying to pull down a box of cereal from one of the cupboards.
“What are you doing?” Arden asked, scooping her around the waist and swinging her to the floor.
“I was hungry, and you weren’t here. Did you sleep in late?”
“A bit. Where’s Avery?”
“She’s watching Daddy get dressed. Can I eat now?”
Arden pulled down a bowl and went to the refrigerator for milk.
She wouldn’t have minded watching their daddy dress. Or undress. What had he been wearing Saturday night?
She wished once again the lights had been on so she could have feasted her gaze on his physique. Her fingertips tingled in remembrance.
“He’s leaving again on a trip,” Hailey said, sitting at her place and watching as Arden prepared her bowl of cereal.
“I know. But just for a few days. You and Avery can paint on your mural and maybe have it finished by the time Daddy comes home.”
Hailey nodded, engrossed in eating.
Brendan came into the kitchen carrying Avery just as the doorbell rang.
“That’s probably my ride. I’m leaving the car here. Use it if you need it. The keys are on the table by the front door.”
He deposited Avery in her chair and gave her a quick kiss. One for Hailey. Then he straightened and looked directly at Arden.
For a moment she saw the desire flare in his eyes. He wanted to kiss her goodbye as well.
She blinked and stepped back.
“I plan to be home on Wednesday.”
With a curt nod, he left.
Arden stood transfixed. She heard him greet someone, and a couple of seconds later, the front door closed behind them. Silence, except for Hailey’s spoon hitting the side of the bowl.
“Can I eat?” Avery asked, looking at Arden with puzzlement.
He couldn’t have kissed her, not in front of the girls, she reasoned as she prepared Avery’s breakfast.
But he’d wanted to. She knew it.
And she wouldn’t have pushed him away this time.
By nine o’clock that night Arden knew Brendan wouldn’t call. He hadn’t said he would, but she remembered his nightly calls from Latin America. She had thought he might repeat the pattern from Washington.
Taking the baby monitor into her room, she sat down to study. Tomorrow was the first of her final examinations, and she was determined to do well. Of course, her project counted for a huge percentage of her grade in one course, but there would be a written test in all the courses.
Unfortunately, she couldn’t concentrate.
She wondered what Brendan was doing. Had he taken his clients out to dinner? Wined and dined them as part of business?
Or did he just go with friends for fun and relaxation?
Was there a woman there he’d known for years, who might also have known Lannie? Someone he could talk to as an old friend?
Restlessly, she shifted on the bed, unable to focus on the words that danced in front of her. She wasn’t paying attention.
Her phone rang.
She snatched it up.
“Hello?”
He’d called.
“Hi Brendan.”
“Are the girls in bed?”
“Of course. It’s after ten.”
There was silence for a moment.
“Are you all right?” he asked.
She nodded, realizing he couldn’t see her.
“Yes.”
“Not your usual chatty self, however,” he said with a trace of amusement.
“Which is probably a good thing. This way I don’t talk your ear off.”
“I wouldn’t mind.”
“Are things going all right there?” she asked.
“About as expected.”
“I thought you might go out to dinner.”
“I did. We finished a little while ago. That’s why I’m late calling.”
“I didn’t know if you would call at all,” she murmured.
“Didn’t you want me to?”
She held her breath. Dare she admit it?
“Yes, I did,” she said firmly.
He laughed softly at the other end.
“Why? After yesterday, I half expected you to let the call go to voice mail.”
“Yesterday was my day off.”
“So you needed to sneak back home last night?”
“I didn’t sneak back,” she protested.
“The only way I knew you were home was because I saw your car in the driveway.”
Prudently, Arden remained silent. She had deliberately avoided him yesterday. Surely he knew why.
“Talk to me.”
“About what?”
“Anything. Everything.”
Gripping the receiver tightly, she asked the question that had plagued her since she arrived.
“Why are there no pictures of Lannie around for the girls?”