Arden awoke on Saturday morning in a wonderful mood. The party had been terrific. Dreamily, she remembered how she and Brendan had danced the night away. She’d met more people throughout the evening and found everyone friendly and easy to talk with. Brendan had seemed to enjoy himself as well.
The only awkward moment had been when he left to take home the babysitter. He’d asked her to wait up for him, but she’d fled to her room like a scared rabbit. She was in over her head and had to protect her heart the best way she knew how.
And a late-night tryst with Brendan Ferguson was not the way to do it.
Luxuriating in the free morning, she stretched and considered what she’d do today. School was over for the semester. For good or bad, she’d done her best on the exams. Now a lazy summer day beckoned. The entire weekend lay before her, but she had no plans, no burning desire to do anything.
She should tell Brendan about her decision to leave, but the urgency she’d felt since that afternoon at the airport had eased. There was time enough to tell him on Monday. He couldn’t do anything about locating a replacement over the weekend. Why worry him with the news before then?
Maybe she’d go to the library and check out some books and then head for the beach. Swimming, reading and maybe a nap sounded like the best way to spend a lazy day.
For a moment, the reality of leaving was almost overwhelming.
She’d grown to love Hailey and Avery. She’d miss them so much. Would another babysitter love them? Would someone else let them paint and encourage them to run and laugh? Or would they follow that strict regimen Ella had followed?
Pushing the disquieting thoughts away for the moment, she dressed in a sleeveless top and shorts. Sandals were all she needed. She’d kick them off when she reached the beach.
Heading for the kitchen a few minutes later, she noticed how late it was, after eleven. Of course, it had been late when they returned home, even so, the day was practically half gone.
She was amazed she hadn’t heard the girls.
Where was everyone?
Glancing out the window, she saw Hailey and Avery playing in the sandbox, a pail of water beside them.
Hailey was fiercely concentrating on building a castle, using the water to soak the sand. Her tongue peeped from the corner of her mouth.
Avery haphazardly dug in the sand, piling up a mound, her attention to the task adorable.
They were chatting away, but Arden couldn’t hear them. Were they remembering their day at the beach last weekend?
She dashed into her room and found her sketch pad. Grabbing a couple of charcoal pencils, she returned to the kitchen and began sketching the girls. Her book was almost full of sketches of the Ferguson family, from her fantasy drawings of Brendan as a Viking to different portraits of the girls. She knew it was the best work she’d ever done.
“Good morning.” Brendan said behind her.
She spun around, startled at the sound of his voice. She hadn’t heard him.
Brendan leaned against the doorjamb, watching her. His hands were in the pockets of his jeans, the pullover shirt he wore delineated the firm muscles of his shoulders and chest.
Arden could happily stare at him all day. Once again her fingers itched to sketch him. This time she’d draw him just as he stood, his confident male assurance contrasting with the casual pose.
Oh, how she was going to miss him.
“Hi.”
“You slipped off to bed too early last night,” he said.
Flustered, she tried not to show it.
“I was tired. I had a great time. Your friends are delightful.”
“Did you eat any breakfast?”
She shook her head.
“It’s so close to lunchtime, I’ll just wait, then get something when I go out.”
“Are you off to someplace now?”
“I’m going to the library.”
She raised the sketch book and shrugged.
“Then I got sidetracked when I saw the girls in the yard. I wanted to capture the moment on paper.”
“May I see?” he asked,
He pushed away from the wall and walked toward her. For a moment Arden almost forgot to breathe. Then she looked at the sketch. Would he like it?
Would he think she’d captured Hailey’s serious concentration? That she’d contrasted the dainty daughters with their unique personalities?
“Sure.” She held out the sketch pad.
For the first time, she questioned how she’d tell him about her decision to leave. He’d be disappointed she hadn’t stayed the agreed-upon time.
The next time he needed to find someone who wouldn’t make the mistake of falling in love with her boss.
“You're talented,” he murmured as he studied the sketch and then gazed out in the yard at his daughters.
Flustered with the warm glow that spread with his praise, Arden stepped away. She was delighted he liked what she’d done, but standing too close wasn’t wise. She longed to throw herself into his arms and demand he kiss her.
Wouldn’t he be shocked if she did so?
“Want some coffee?” she asked, longing for something to do.
“Thanks, I’d like that.”
She turned to fill the coffeemaker but hearing the rustle of paper, she spun around. Too late. He was already looking at her other sketches.
“No, don’t.”
She almost ran across the room, but Brendan ignored her, studying the drawing of the mighty Viking warrior with his body and face.
He flipped over to another page and found the one she’d dreamed about for several nights. Brendan in bed, a bunched up sheet cutting across the lower part of his body, his muscular chest and arms revealed as he gazed at an unseen lover. In her mind, she’d been the woman he looked at so hungrily.
Arden froze, wishing the floor would open up and swallow her whole.
She reached out to snatch the pad from Brendan, but he swiveled around, putting his body between her and the pad. He flipped to another page and another.
Suddenly, he lowered the tablet and looked at her. His eyes were hot and watchful.
Arden didn’t know what to do, but she couldn’t look away from the heat in his gaze. She licked her lips nervously and his gaze honed on the movement like a hawk.
“These are interesting,” he said slowly. “Once you said you were good at art but not super. I think you’re too critical. I’d call these drawings excellent.”
“Assignments for school,” she offered lamely, relishing his compliment.
Slowly, Brendan shook his head.
“I don’t think so.”
Unerringly, he flipped to the Viking warrior pose and held it out to her. “This one?”
She swallowed, her eyes staring at the imaginative rendition. It was one of her best drawings.
He flipped to the one showing the resting warrior with the two small girls in a garden, the one she’d wanted to do in oils.
The silence stretched out. What could she say?
“Arden, there’s something I wanted to discuss with you last night, but you disappeared before I came back from taking Jamie Sue home. Now I think it was meant that we waited”
“Oh?”
She cleared her throat nervously. She couldn’t think when they were so close. Turning, she looked out the window. The girls were still industriously playing in the sandbox, but Arden didn’t see them. Her heart pounded, and she knew embarrassed color stained her cheeks.
Clearing her throat, she asked, “What did you want to talk about?”
He ran the fingers of one hand through his hair. Tossing the sketchpad on the counter, he crossed his arms over his chest.
“I’m not sure how to begin.”
She blinked in surprise. She never thought she’d hear Brendan sounding the least bit unsure.
Oh dear, was he going to fire her? Had he recognized the pictures for what they were, the fantasy of a woman in love?
She almost laughed. Here she planned to resign on Monday and he was about to fire her today. She should have stuck to her original schedule.
She met his gaze, wishing she’d spoken first.
“You seem to like the girls,” he began.
She nodded. “I love them. They’re adorable. You’ve done a great job raising them. I suspect you’ll continue to do so.”
“As long as I’m around.”
“What do you mean?”
A touch of panic unexpectedly hit her.
“You aren’t sick, are you? You don’t have some life-threatening disease?”
“No. But life’s uncertain. They’ve already lost one parent. I worry about what would happen to them if something happens to me.”
“Well, I’m sure nothing will. And in the unlikely event something did, your parents are a phone call away. And Ella would step in.”
He shook his head.
“My parents are too old to take on two rambunctious little girls. I wouldn’t want Hailey and Avery to have to live with older parents.”
“Ella,” she said, wondering why he was bringing this up.
He shrugged.
“Actually, I thought that it’d be best if something happened to me for the girls to stay in the house, in familiar surroundings. Kept their same routines.”
Arden nodded, wondering where this was leading.
“I want you to be their guardian if anything happens to me. Give them the continuity and love they’ll need.”
She stared, dumbfounded.
“You want me to be the girls’ guardian if something happens to you?” she repeated.
“Money wouldn’t be an issue. I’d see to that. They adore you. You bring a fresh outlook to their lives. One I can see has made a very positive difference. They are happy and enthusiastic about every new experience you bring them.”
“Brendan, you’re probably going to live to be a hundred. You don’t need me to be a guardian.”
This conversation wasn’t going at all like she expected.
It was time to tell him she was leaving.
“But in case I don’t make it to one hundred, would you think about it, Arden? About becoming part of this family and being there for them?”
“I guess I could think about it,” she floundered.
He paused for a heartbeat, then said, “It’d simplify things if we got married.”
“Married?”
A spurt of joy hit before reality reasserted itself. The absolutely last thing to do that would simplify things.
Blood rushed through her, the pounding of her heartbeat sounding inordinately loud in her ears. She couldn’t think, could feel nothing beyond a stunned numbness.
Brendan Ferguson was suggesting they get married.
In that second, she figured out he wasn’t planning to fire her.
“I was going to quit,” she said, bewildered.
“Quit? What are you talking about?”
“I, uh, nothing. My mind is blank. I can’t marry you.”
He studied her, his eyes narrowed.
“I mean, you can’t want to marry me,“ she said sadly.
“I wouldn’t have brought it up if I didn’t,” he said evenly. “And after seeing the drawings, I suspect you don’t feel totally indifferent to me.”
She broke eye contact, and looked around the kitchen wildly, as if searching for something that would guide her, give her the proper words to respond.
Marry him.
As in live with him forever?
She loved him. How could she not wish to spend the rest of her life with him?
But he didn’t love her. The sketches she’d done showed only her feelings.
He hadn’t even hinted at any emotional attachment on his part. Would she be just a substitute wife, someone to take care of his children?
She shook her head. He obviously didn’t know one important fact that would have him rescinding that crazy proposal in a heartbeat.
“I can’t have children,” she blurted out.
He looked taken aback.
“I didn’t know that. Do you want children? More, I mean, than Avery and Hailey?”
“Of course not. They are wonderful. But men want sons.”
“You say that as if it’s a law or something.”
“I know men want sons. I’ve heard it all my life. Sons to do things with, to relate to man to man. You said so yourself. You said you’d relate better to boys. And you need a son to carry on the family name.”
He stepped right up to her, crowding her back against the counter. He rested a hand on either side of her hips, effectively capturing her within his arms, yet not quite touching.
Arden felt as if the air whooshed from the room. She gazed up at him helplessly. It was too much to hope for, but she couldn’t extinguish the small flickering flame deep inside.
“I already have two wonderful children. Lannie and I didn’t plan to have any more. I don’t see that as a problem.”
“But a son. You don’t have a son.”
“What’s wrong with girls?”
“Nothing. But all my life, I’ve heard how sad it was my folks didn’t have a son, that my dad didn’t have a boy to follow in his footsteps, to carry on the family name. My aunts still talk about it to this day.”
Brendan stared into her eyes for a moment, then said, softly, “So maybe your folks wanted a boy. But I bet they loved their little girl. They didn’t want a boy instead of you, just in addition, right?”
Arden thought back. He was right. She’d heard them say another baby would be wonderful. But she'd never heard anyone express the wish that she’d been a boy.
Even her aunts had said there should have been more children. More, not instead of.
“I guess. But,”
“Is that the reason you said you’d never marry? Because you couldn’t have kids?”
She nodded, her throat closing up, her heart beat raggedly. Could he possibly still want to talk about marriage? Despite her inability to have children, was he still interested?
“That’s not an issue with us. We’ll have the girls. And I have two brothers who can carry on the family name. That was never my goal in life.”
Hope blossomed. There was still so much to overcome. Could she do it? Could she marry a man she loved, knowing he loved a dead woman?
“So you want us to marry so Hailey and Avery would have a new mother,” she clarified.
Brendan hesitated, his eyes staring deeply into hers. Was that desire she saw? Or only a projection of her own feelings?
“Not exactly.”
“What then, exactly?” she demanded.
She felt sheltered standing in his arms. She wished he’d kiss her. She didn’t have to think when he kissed her, only feel.
What was she going to do? Follow her heart? Or her head? Today’s decision would impact the rest of her life.
How could she say no?
Yet, could she say yes?
“I want a wife. I want you for my wife, Arden.”
Tears filled her eyes. If only he meant that.
“Don’t cry. I didn’t mean to make you cry,” he said softly. “If the thought of being my wife is so repugnant, we’ll come up with an alternate plan.”
She smiled through her tears. “That sounds so business-like, an alternate plan.”
“You can still get your degree, find a great job wherever you like. We’ll work it out. Arden don’t cry. It tears me up inside. I’ll do whatever you want.”
“Could you love me?” she said forlornly.
Oh, no. Had she said the words aloud?
Brendan froze, his eyes blazing down at her. “What did you say?”
“Nothing, I said nothing.”
She wished the floor would open up and swallow her whole. Could she duck under his arm and run for her life and never look back?
“One thing I thought I’d have to do was give enough time, so maybe you’d come to care for me as much as you care for my daughters,” Brendan said slowly. He dropped his arms to draw her into a warm embrace.
“But seeing these sexy pictures you drew, I knew I didn’t need to wait. I’m not sure how it happened, but the woman who drew those pictures isn’t indifferent.”
She shook her head. Was she dreaming? Would she waken in a little while and find herself alone in her bedroom?
“I love you, Arden Glover. I want you for my wife. I want you in all the ways a man wants a woman.”
“But you love Lannie,” she protested.
“Yes, I loved her a lot. I’ll always have a sweet spot in my heart for her. But she’s gone. And you’re here. Beautiful, talented, warm and loving. And so outrageous sometimes I’m constantly amazed and enthralled. Your kisses drive me wild. Your sunny disposition brings light to a routine existence. Your enchantment with life warms my heart. Everything about you entices me. There’s so much I want to explore with you. Like see this pretty hair spread out on a pillow or feel the silky strands flow over my fingers. Like hearing your laughter each day. It makes my heart catch when I hear it. I want you to look at me with the love that shines in your eyes when you look at my daughters. I want to see you in the morning and at night and in between. And to grow old together. I want it all, Arden. And I want it with you.”
“You said you didn’t want to remarry.”
She couldn’t think. But hadn’t he said that? Why was she bringing it up? He’d just said he loved her. She should latch on to that.
“I felt that way when Lannie died. I will never take you for granted. There’ll always be a fear in me that something terrible will happen to you. But I need to take that chance. Otherwise, I know you’ll leave, eventually. And that’s what I can’t bear. I want you in my life from now on forever.”
“Forever?”
She leaned against him, hugging him tightly, the tears spilling down her cheeks.
“Oh, Brendan, I love you so much. I was going to quit and leave because I couldn’t stand falling more and more in love and thinking I had no chance at a happy ending.”
“So does that mean your answer is yes?” he demanded, his arms hugging her close.
“Yes. Yes!”
She laughed with joy.
“I can’t believe this. Ten minutes ago, I was planning how to tell you I was leaving. Now I’m staying and getting married. Getting a family I never thought I’d have. Oh, Brendan, one day I’ll even get grandchildren. You really love me? I’m not second best?”
“Oh, darling, never. I adore you, everything about you. I fought it. My intention was to keep my distance, keeping you segregated as an employee. But I couldn’t.”
“You aren’t really worried anything will happen to you, are you?” she asked suspiciously.
He smiled slowly, shaking his head. “That was the only excuse I could come up with. I thought if you and I got married, eventually things would work out. I was counting on kisses and lovemaking to win you over.”
“No need. You won me over with that first phone call from Latin America. It just took me a few days to realize it. Then I worked hard to make sure you never suspected.”
“You could have given me a hint,” he said with a smile.
“Ever since I had that infection as a teenager that prevents me from ever having children, I’d put marriage out of my plans for the future. I was going to be a dedicated career woman.”
“If you want to work, go for it. If you want to paint for sheer pleasure, do that. Just love me and my girls, that’s all I ask.”
“Then you ask little, Brendan. Nothing you don’t already have. I love you with all my heart and soul. I’ll make you the best wife in the world.”
“Just be yourself, sweetheart. That will make you the best in the world.”
“Best wife,” she corrected.
“No, the best, period.”
She would have said more, but his kiss cut off the words. Her heart swelled with love as her arms tightened around his neck.
There were a million details to work out. Would the girls accept her? Would his family? What would the aunts say?
But Arden knew everything would work out. She knew she was where she belonged in Brendan Ferguson's arms. Forever, he’d said.
It just might be long enough.
Did you enjoy this story?
If so, you may enjoy MARRIAGE MASQUERADE, Book Three in the Making a Family Series.
For a complete list of Barbara's books, visit her website at www.barbaramcmahon.com/books.
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