So it turns out, budgets don’t balance themselves. Justin inherited a $7.5 billion surplus when he was first elected, but—through careful economic stewardship—in just three short years he managed to turn that into a $20 billion deficit. But that’s okay. Because it’s all about infrastructure! And about growing the economy! (Apparently, infrastructure spending grows the economy. Who knew?)

During the 2015 campaign, Justin promised that he would run “a modest short-term deficit” of less than $10 billion over the first three years, after which we would magically return to a balanced budget in 2019. (You’ve probably noticed all the amazing infrastructure we have now. You can’t turn around in this country without running into another infrastructure success story!)

Unfortunately, Justin’s carefully managed “modest” deficit quickly ballooned by 200 per cent. The 2019 budget—the year that the Liberals were going to get back to the balanced books that they inherited from the Conservatives—has a deficit of $20 billion. Or, to show that in its proper numerical form: $20,000,000,000.00.

Forget balancing the books in 2019. The timeline for eliminating the Liberal’s deficit has now been pushed back to 2041. Which is to say, the budget should have balanced itself just in time for Justin’s seventieth birthday party.

But who cares! We won’t be the ones paying that off. It will be our kids and our kids’ kids who have to pay it off. Suckers! What did our children ever do for us? Live for the moment, I say! Carpe diem!