Introduction
Some of the most horrible people in history have been the people in charge. The bosses. The rulers.
You know the sort of people I mean – emperors, kings and queens, warlords and history teachers.
Why are they so horrible? Is it:
A: Being a leader makes you lousy?
Do they get to the top and turn more horrible than a putrid pork pie?
Henry VIII of England was a popular young prince. But once the crown was on his big head he turned nasty. He didn’t just have his enemies executed – he also had his old friends chopped and a couple of his wives lopped. Horrible.
Or is it:
B: Being lousy makes you a leader?
Are they nasty kids who don’t want to grow up?
Caligula used to torture his slaves when he was a boy. When he grew up he liked to have people executed as slowly and painfully as possible. Caligula even invited their parents along to watch the execution. Horrible.
If it is B then rulers are born nasty – so you will probably make a good leader.
After all, you are pretty horrible, aren’t you?
Yes, you, dear reader. You must be pretty horrible to be reading a Horrible Histories book.
Tests have shown that the average Horrible Histories reader is 74.3% more evil than the average reader. Sadly you are also 82.9% uglier as well. You can’t have everything. Let’s be honest, you would make a great leader.
All you need are a few tips. You need to read about the most monstrous men and wicked women who made it to the top. Learn from their hideous habits – and their miserable mistakes.
You’ve come to the right book, your Highness.
Yes, you too could be the new Nero! He had his wife executed and her dead head sent to his new girlfriend.
You could be the next Nebuchadnezzar – who had his enemies executed and their corpses trampled to mush! He rode a lion with a tame snake wrapped around its neck…
You could be the modern Maximilien Robespierre, whose government sent 1,285 people to the guillotine in six weeks in 1794.
Just one little word of warning:
A lot of lousy leaders end up dying in painful pieces.1