Potty presidents

Of course not all rulers were just born into power. Some had to be chosen by the people – elected. In the USA, for example, the presidents have to get people to vote for them.

But that doesn’t mean they are any better than other Rotten Rulers!

President Franklin Pierce (1853–1857)

Franklin Pierce’s problem was booze.

He used one of the worst poster slogans ever to get elected. His party, the Democrats, had won with a man named Polk in the last election. So what poster did they come up with this time?

You’ll love this.

Poked … pierced … Geddit?

Anyway, where was I? Oh, yes. Pickled Pierce.

He spent most of his years in the White House drunk. He even had his own slogan with the US people.

He fell off his horse in the Mexican war, crushed his leg and fainted. His nickname became ‘Fainting Frank’.

You’ve seen the adverts:

Pierce was too drunk to care. He ran over an old woman in 1853 when he was driving drunk. Of course cars hadn’t been invented then. He was drunk-driving a horse.

He went to court. He was set free. They said they had to let him go – there were no witnesses. But the truth is they didn’t want to arrest a president.

In 1869 his drinking killed him.

 

Did you know…?

Pierce was the first president to have a Christmas tree in the White House. Sadly there were no kids to enjoy it. His first two children died when they were babies. The third lived – until he was flattened by a railway train just before his dad became president.

Both parents saw it happen. Mother Jane Pierce never got over it – neither did the boy hit by the train, of course.

Pierce’s nephews did survive. And his great-great-great-great-nephew became the forty-third US president, George W. Bush.

Ten curious facts about US presidents

Amaze your parents, astound your teachers and send your friends to sleep with these astounding facts, which are no use to anyone.

1 President Ulysses S. Grant (1869–1877) was arrested and fined $20 for speeding in his horse and carriage. The carriage was confiscated and he had to walk back to the White House.

2 William Henry Harrison (1841) served the shortest term ever as US president – 32 days. He made a l-o-n-g speech in a snowstorm, caught pneumonia and died.

3 Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s (1933–1945) mother forced him to wear dresses until he was five years old.

4 Bill Clinton (1993–2001) was the first United States president to send an e-mail message. He sent it in March 1993.

5 John Quincy Adams (1825–1829) used to get up before dawn to go swimming naked in the Potomac river.

6 Andrew Johnson Jackson (1829–1837) was the only US president who never went to school and the only president to sew his own clothes. He believed the world was flat – which it is. He was also the only president to kill a man in a duel.

7 At President Andrew Jackson’s funeral in 1845, his pet parrot was taken out for swearing. (It didn’t go to school either.)

8 Benjamin Harrison (1889–1893) was so afraid of electric lights that he used to get White House staff to turn them on and off for him.

9 William Howard Taft (1909–1913) was the fattest president. He weighed almost 160 kilos. He got stuck in his bath and had to be hauled out. He didn’t go on a diet – he just ordered a bigger bath.

10 President Abraham Lincoln (1861–1865) was watching a play when he was assassinated. The play was Our American Cousin. It was written by a man from Sunderland, County Durham – just like this book that you are reading. (So watch out for assassins as you read it.)

Phew. That was a close shave. When you turned around to look he ran off and hid. Just as well we warned you.

President Papa Doc Duvalier of Haiti (1907–1971)

At least the US get rid of their potty presidents every few years. In Haiti it was a different story.

Papa Doc wanted all the people in Haiti to vote for him. When they went to vote they had a choice:

The votes were counted. Guess who won?

A few years later he decided he wanted to stay in power for the rest of his life. Again this kind ruler gave his people the choice.

Can you spot what was missing from the voting paper?

Duvalier stayed for life.

President Idi Amin of Uganda (1925–2003)

Amin plotted to take over the whole of Africa. (This potty man kept the heads of his enemies in his fridge. Cool.) He decided to invade the country next door – Tanzania. President Amin didn’t want the Tanzanian army to be ready for him so he sent a friendly message to the Tanzanian President. Very friendly. Very, very friendly. It read:

It didn’t work and the Tanzanian army easily overcame Amin’s attack. And, worse, Amin never got to marry the Tanzanian President.