Loathsome leader: Genghis Khan – Warlord of Mongolia¹⁰ (1167–1227)

Little Temujin had a tough childhood. He grew up to lead the Mongol people to conquer a huge part of the world – he probably ruled a larger area than any other leader in history. And you don’t do that by being nice to grannies and giving lollipops to kids.

Temujin changed his name to Genghis because it means ‘Perfect Warrior’, and became ‘Torturer Len’¹¹ because that means ‘Perfectly Nasty Sort of Leader’.

When he died, his empire stretched from the Yellow Sea to the Black Sea (with lots of blue seas of water and red seas of blood in between).

We know all about gruesome Genghis because a l-o-n-g poem was written about him shortly before he died. You wouldn’t want to read it (it’s in ancient Mongolian anyway). So here’s a Horrible Histories version.

 

The Ballad of Genghis Khan

When Genghis Khan was aged just eight

The Tartars poisoned his poor dad.

His mum was forced to tramp around

And live off berries, very sad.

(For the lad.)

 

At 13 years he caught some birds,

His brother fancied them to eat.

They argued. Genghis killed his bruv.

At least he had some nice fresh meat.

(Or tweet.)

 

At 20 years he took a bride,

A jealous tribe snatched her away.

Our Genghis formed a little army,

Rescued her and won the day.

(Hooray!)

 

Jamukha was the Mongol chief

Until he with Genghis tangled.

A big mistake, he lost the fight,

And our Genghis had him strangled.

(Mangled.)

 

Now Genghis said, ‘I was so good

At fighting Mongols in this war,

I’ll roam around the great big world

And try to conquer more and more!’

(Oh, lor!)

 

In twelve-o-nine he started out

Attacking China. Lots of slaughter.

Chinese king said, ‘Go away. I’ll

Pay you camels and my daughter!’

(Did he oughter?)

 

In twelve-two-one Khan headed west,

The town of Merv stood in his way.

The people fought, but lost at last.

Khan killed a million in a day.¹²

(Slay! slay!)

 

By twelve-two-seven Khan was dead;

Some say he fell from off his horse.

Others say a princess stabbed him.

Heck, she must have used some force.

(Of course.)

 

The Mongol armies moved on west,

(On horseback ’cos they liked to ride.)

Smashed the Russians and went on to

Europe, which was terrified.

(‘Help!’ they cried.)

 

But with Genghis gone they argue,

Mongols break up, empires fall.

All that murder, all that bloodshed,

What was all that killing for?

(No more).

Feast like a leader

Want to eat food fit for a king? (Or fit for a Khan?)

Then try Genghis Khan’s recipe. In 1202 he was on the run from his enemies and starving. He and his friends survived with the help of a horse.

Here’s the recipe.

Genghis and his friends had to cook in muddy water, but it gave them the strength to go out and conquer the world.

No horses? The Mongols were starving at the siege of Beijing in 1214. Disease killed thousands of men. It was said that they ate the corpses.