| |
Lynn woke in an instant, reacting to Oscar’s cheerfully demanding squawk. It was a familiar early morning refrain.
What definitely wasn’t familiar was the heavy arm that tightened around her waist, pulling her against a hard chest, and the protesting snort that wuffled into her ear.
“What time is it?” Benjamin muttered.
“Too early.” She dragged an arm out of the covers and checked her phone. 5:45. Her son was right on time. “Go back to sleep.”
“Okay.” His drowsy acceptance made her smile. He snuggled closer, his thighs tucking in behind hers, and a hot, silky length nudged her bare ass.
She pushed down a surge of desire. Oscar wouldn’t be patient much longer. By some miracle of fate, he hadn’t interrupted them while they’d been...occupied...two more times during the night. But nothing would ruin a morning quickie faster than a toddler screaming for attention.
She wriggled from her right side to her left and came face to face with Benjamin. His hair was deliciously tousled and his eyes slumberous and dark, though they lost some of their sleepiness when his hand slid to her ass. Maybe if we’re really fast...
A louder shout from across the hall.
“Oscar’s getting angry. I have to go,” she whispered, sliding backward off the mattress. His eyes never left hers. She stepped quickly into flannel pants and a worn T-shirt, foregoing underwear for the moment, and gathered her hair into a loose ponytail. A husky groan came from the bed and she stole a quick look, arms still raised above her head as she secured the elastic.
There was no trace of slumber in his expression now. “You are so sexy.”
She laughed. “You can’t be serious. I’m a mess.”
“But you’re my mess.”
The possessiveness in his tone softened her knees. That was nothing to the dizziness that washed over her when he tossed back the covers and rose to his feet, naked and glorious. She took a deep breath and hurried to the door. “Don’t get up. It’s far too early. I’m used to it.”
“So am I. Too many six a.m. practices when I was a kid.” He bent down to snag his pants from the floor and his buttocks flexed.
Lynn fled before she lost all control and tackled him to the ground.
––––––––
BENJAMIN GRINNED AS he stepped into his wrinkled trousers. He liked flustering Lynn with unexpected compliments, and had strutted his nakedness with the intent of making her eyes glaze over.
Mission accomplished.
She was talking with Oscar in the kitchen. This morning was eons away from the only other morning they’d shared, when they’d both been shy and awkward. Despite the dawn being hours away yet, he felt brighter than he had in a long time. And it wasn’t only because his long sexual drought was over.
It was because of the woman who had slaked his thirst. How great would it be to wake up like this every—
He cut off his thoughts. What the hell? This wasn’t his life. Couldn’t be his life. Lynn was settled, anchored. She knew what she wanted and it wouldn’t be him. Not a fourth rate NHLer with a precarious career and a job that took him away from home constantly.
Oscar’s giggle floated down the hall and Benjamin’s heart clutched. She definitely wouldn’t want a man who couldn’t meet the fatherhood standards set by his own dad.
Shaking off his unease, he headed for the bathroom. He would have liked a shower—with Lynn, preferably, but that was obviously off the table—but made do with a hot, soapy washcloth. He borrowed her toothpaste and scrubbed his teeth with his finger. By the time he entered the kitchen, the coffee was done and Oscar was ensconced in his highchair doing battle with a bowl of oatmeal.
Lynn greeted him with a steaming mug, her eyes flickering to his chest as he buttoned up his shirt. “I meant it, you know. You really didn’t have to get up yet.”
He took the coffee. “I know. But now I am, I might as well get going. I have things to do before we leave for the road trip.” That wasn’t until Monday, but he had to go now. Before the longing to become a permanent fixture in her life grew stronger.
“Of course. I understand.” She leaned against the counter and sipped from her own mug, clasping it with both hands, her unfocused gaze now on Oscar, as if she’d sensed Benjamin’s withdrawal.
He didn’t want her to think he was regretting last night. How could someone regret the best night of his life? “Thank you. Not just for, well, you know, but...” He trailed off, not sure where he was going.
“Right. Thank you, too.” The warmth and playfulness they’d shared in the moments before she’d left her bed was gone, dissipated like smoke.
“I’m sorry.” For everything. For nothing.
God, he was a mess. He placed his mostly untouched mug on the counter. It was no use prolonging his departure. “Bye, Oscar.” The toddler grinned from behind a mask of oatmeal.
Lynn followed him to the front door, fidgeting with the hem of her T-shirt as he shrugged into his coat.
“Have a safe trip.” Her tone was cool, dismissive.
Damn it. Maybe they had no future, but he couldn’t leave her like this. He cupped her chin in both hands and lifted her face so she couldn’t avoid looking at him. “Thank you for inviting me. See you in a week or so.” He brushed a gentle kiss on her lips and then stepped away, leaving her warmth. He missed her already, which was ridiculous.
“Wait. That wasn’t a proper goodbye.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed against him. An echo of his own desperation was apparent in her clutching hands and demanding tongue. She tasted of brown sugar and coffee.
The clatter of a spoon being tossed to the ground and a delighted squeal from Oscar jolted them apart. He pulled away slowly. “I guess that’s a sign.” He gripped the handle and then paused. “Is it okay if I text you while we’re gone?”
Her reply was so swift and sure he couldn’t help the surge of relief. “I expect you to. Good luck.”
––––––––
DURING THE DAYS THAT followed, Lynn had plenty of time to think about what their night together might mean. Her thoughts swayed wildly from just-another-one-night-stand to when-can-we-do-it-again. The sex had been amazing, but it was the connection and comfort she’d felt the next morning waking up with him beside her that freaked her out a little.
Benjamin’s seesaw reaction had mirrored her own uncertainties. While she might have been miffed at him in the moment, she realized later she shouldn’t blame him, not when she had her own doubts.
Nothing had changed. Benjamin was still in a volatile job and she had no intention of ever moving from her comfortable home. She was independent and settled and perfectly capable of caring for Oscar on her own. She didn’t need Benjamin.
For anything other than sex, that was. Even the power of her vibrator paled in comparison to his touch.
She listened to the games on the radio, pleased when they won a close one, commiserating when they lost the other in an embarrassing drubbing. The team remained inconsistent, but that was often the way of junior hockey. When Benjamin was interviewed, his voice evoked a vision of him in her bed, all seductive eyes and sleep-warmed skin.
He texted her, as he’d promised. Casual, friendly messages about the team or the hotel or asking how Oscar was doing. She always replied, but never initiated a conversation, not wanting to interrupt him at an awkward time. At least, that’s what she told herself. It had nothing to do with her uncertainty about their relationship.
Thursday morning, Oscar woke her before her alarm as usual. The team was scheduled to arrive home any minute now after an all-night drive, and her pulse raced at the thought of seeing Benjamin. She fed and changed and prepared Oscar for his stay at the daycare in a glow of anticipation that had nothing to do with her son. Even the blustery wind that scoured the parking lot and encouraged her to hustle from her car to the arena didn’t ruin her mood.
In the warmth and quiet of the office, she unwrapped her scarf and draped it over a hook on the coat rack. “Morning, Sarah.” She almost carolled the greeting, so buoyant did she feel.
“Morning, Lynn. Did you hear?”
“Hear what?” She unzipped her coat and shrugged it off.
“The Canyon Cats were in an accident last night. The bus went off the road.”