There is one more component of my Keto-Green 16 plan that is, like exercise, not diet related. It includes daily rituals for positive reinforcement—actions I call my Clean 16. They will help you stay the course and value yourself like never before. Use them in conjunction with my plan.
Each day, begin with affirmations to set a course for success. Tell yourself something positive. Repeat it a few times, write it down, text it to yourself, or take a screenshot, and look at it throughout the day. With enough repetition, they will become reality for you. Make them in the present tense such as “I am” or “I have,” not “I will” or “I could.” Here are my favorite affirmations:
I am happy and joyful.
I am content.
I am energetic.
I am productive.
I am social and friendly.
I am alert.
My mind is focused.
I feel good about my body.
I believe in myself; I can be everything I want to be.
I am strong, full of energy and confidence.
I deserve to look and feel great.
If it challenges me, it changes me.
I always focus on positive “I can do this” affirmations. I don’t want my happiness to be contingent on numbers on a scale; rather, I want it to be based on what I accomplish toward making myself a better person, creating better relationships, and making the world a better place today. I remember that I’m the only one who can upset myself, and no one else has that power over me.
Saying affirmations each day helps you embrace them. Your mind and body start believing in you. You will make better decisions. You’ll see a difference and become more happy, joyful, content, social, productive, friendly, and focused. Try it for a few weeks, and you’ll see what I mean.
Many of us in the medical field focus on compassion and care. This can be both rewarding and depleting. To offset the depletion part, I began expressing my thoughts and emotions in a journal.
Journaling turned out to be a valuable resource to help me tend to my own well-being and support my health. Research has found that journaling reduces blood pressure, improves mood, and boosts focus and productivity. It has become a daily practice for me—sometimes super-easy, other times not so much. I love to journal in the morning while sipping my Keto Coffee or Keto Tea; I express what I’m grateful for and set my intentions for the day.
The gratitude component is key. It makes you not only a happier person but a healthier one as well. The expression of gratitude improves mental health, reduces anxiety, and helps you sleep better. Giving gratitude is a great way to create more oxytocin and just feel better overall. Grateful people tend to be happier, more positive, and more satisfied with their lives, compared to people who walk through life without an attitude of gratitude.
Take five to fifteen minutes and do some gratitude journaling every day. Ask yourself these questions: “What am I grateful for? What have I done to nourish my body and mind today? Where did I see love today?”
Just sit quietly and allow yourself to feel the sentiment of gratefulness for all the blessings in life. Journaling replenishes your mind and body with the strength to take care of yourself and others for whom you have responsibility.
We know from scientific studies and research that meditation is beneficial to your body, mind, and spirit. I learned this from a trip I took several years ago, when I got to stay at a monastery tucked away in the woods. I was completely disconnected from the media, world events, and office happenings. It was tremendously healing and upgrading to my quality of life.
But you don’t have to travel to a monastery to meditate. You can do it in the privacy of our own home or the sanctuary of your backyard. Simply do a bit of meditative reflection by asking yourself, “How can I be more loving, receive more love, or laugh more?”
Meditation helps you achieve your fitness goals too. When you meditate, imagine yourself as you want to look a few months from now. See yourself in a swimsuit, outfit, or dress that used to fit you. Bring these images to your mind exactly as you want them to unfold. Include as many details as you can. Focus on your vision and how it makes you feel, and push away any doubts by making positive statements to yourself. Your inner vision and feelings will give shape to your desires and make them real. I call this “feelingization.”
Do you feel like your life is spinning out of control? Are you juggling so many demands that you can’t keep up? Do you sometimes feel like you’re a pinball machine on tilt?
I’ve noticed some of these signs at times, and when I do, I stop and pay attention. I know I’m headed for a crash-and-burn when I get overscheduled with too many speaking engagements and projects. There’s a lot of inner chaos I then have to deal with.
A practice I learned some time ago was to compartmentalize. When worries creep in, direct them to a designated time when you’ll give consideration to those thoughts and honor them. For example, when I have a problem that I’m worried about and thoughts come up to distract me during my day, I simply say, “Not now. Move to 8:15 or 8:30 P.M. I will get to you later.” This allows me to focus and have better productivity throughout the day.
Many of us may have experienced trauma, or maybe we’re currently in a repeating behavior pattern and just need help to break that cycle. Compartmentalizing helps.
Walk out the door each day, spend time in nature, and give yourself a moment to pause and notice the beauty of our world. At your coffee break, take a few minutes to gaze out a window at your beautiful surroundings. Take deep belly breaths while doing this. This practice will help you calm your sympathetic nervous system (which can make you feel stressed when out of balance), increase the activity of your parasympathetic nervous system, helping you chill, and increase heart rate variability. It’s a perfect reset practice.
People who take nature walks with others are less likely to report feeling depressed and stressed and more likely to score higher on assessments of mental and emotional well-being than their non-nature-walking peers, according to a large British study published in 2019 in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health. The findings added to a growing body of research that suggests exposure to nature, especially when combined with walking, improves psychological well-being.
Before sixty-two-year-old Shaynel started living the Keto-Green lifestyle, she was carrying around ten pounds of stubborn body fat and had brain fog and depression. She believed that her depression was linked to seasonal affective disorder (SAD), a mood disorder that’s related to changes in seasons and limited sunlight. SAD begins and ends at about the same times every year and is correlated with drearier, darker days during the year.
Shaynel recounted to me one depressing winter day when she was headed home at about 3:30 P.M. Dark and gloomy, the afternoon was freezing cold. Even so, she parked her car at a lake and just walked around for ten minutes, taking in the views and fresh air. She recalled how recharged and energized that had made her feel. Her mood immediately lifted.
The experience was so life-changing that Shaynel made a habit of getting outside and connecting with nature on a daily basis, even if only for a few minutes. She found that her entire view of winter changed—rather than seeing it as only dreary and dreadful, she came to relish its beauty and enjoyed how being outside and capturing the changing light made her feel, almost as if she were somehow resetting some internal rhythm in her body. No matter what, even if the day is freezing cold, Shaynel now ensures she gets some time out-of-doors each day. Her depression and brain fog have vanished.
She knows that this practice, now a permanent habit, also helps her get a great night’s sleep. As for her weight, Shaynel lost those ten pounds very quickly. After doing Keto-Green, she needed to buy a new bra and dress. She was a bit shocked that her usual size 36 or 38 bra was now a 34, and she was fitting into smaller-size dresses.
Like Shaynel, I always feel better after a walk on the beach or a hike in the woods, admiring the trees, the flowers, the sky, or the ocean, and it has a calming, alkalinizing effect on my body. Yes, I walk partly to stay in shape, but when I’m walking in God’s creation, it is more about grounding.
Maybe you’ve already discovered the power of essential oils. That’s great, because various studies show that they can soothe us and ease the psychological symptoms of menopause, such as anxiety, depression, and mood swings. They also help young and middle-aged women relax. Some act as phytoestrogens because they have components related to the sex hormone estrogen.
We’re all concerned about tummy fat. Essential oils may be helpful here too. In 2007 Korean researchers divided women into two groups. One group received one hour of whole-body massage every week for six weeks. They also massaged their own abdomen twice a day, five days a week, for six weeks. They used different kinds of oil. The experimental group applied 3 percent grapefruit oil, cypress, and three other kinds of essential oils. The control group used grapeseed oil. Their waist circumference was measured before and after the experiment.
In the experimental group, belly fat just under the skin as well as waist circumference significantly decreased, compared to the control group. Body image—how much they liked their appearance—was significantly better in the experimental group after aromatherapy massage than in the control group.
The researchers said: “These results suggest that aromatherapy massage could be utilized as an effective intervention to reduce abdominal subcutaneous fat, waist circumference, and to improve body image in post-menopausal women.” Interesting, isn’t it? There’s a lot we can do to get a flat belly!
The following chart lists the benefits of commonly used essential oils.
ESSENTIAL OIL |
BENEFITS |
If you’re considering combining a number of these oils to help you deal with various symptoms, here are some ways to get the most benefits:
Make your own body moisturizer by combining 5 to 8 drops of your preferred essential oil with a carrier oil such as sweet almond oil. Rub into your skin two to three times daily. You can also use a liquid carrier oil to make your own massage or bath oil.
Place 2 drops of your preferred oil on tissue paper and hold it under your nose. Inhale its fragrance when you are experiencing menopausal symptoms.
Combine 2 to 10 drops of oil with 2 ounces of purified water. Place the mixture in a spray bottle and then spray it in your home.
Combine 8 drops oil with ½ cup coconut milk and pour the mixture into a hot bath.
Nothing is more magical to me than spending time with my four beautiful daughters. Although I have lots of things going on, I make sure they come first.
Try to carve out time each day to connect with those around you. Making time for your loved ones increases oxytocin in your body, with all the positive health benefits that brings, and reduces stress. An easy suggestion? Don’t watch TV during dinner; instead, sit down with your partner or family and share in everyone’s day. Make every day a truly special one for all of the relationships in your life. Ask each other about what you are excited about and what you are concerned about. Try asking where they saw or felt love today too.
Having said that, I don’t want to leave you with the impression that my family life is drama free; after all, I have four daughters. I can remember asking two of them, “When will you stop hating me?” They responded, “We don’t hate you, Mom!” Oh, but it sure felt like it at times!
Now, that may be a function of mom-daughter dynamics during the teenage years, but it was also during my menopause transition, when I was in my mid- to late forties—before I figured out my Keto-Green way of living. Once I focused on self-care, all my relationships improved. I say this to encourage you to put yourself first with loving self-care. When you take care of yourself, those around you, the ones you’ve been putting first and have been sacrificing yourself for, will benefit greatly. Now my daughters and I have the best relationships of our lives, and I know I am setting a better example for them now than I was as their haggard mom back then.
After repeatedly setting many New Year’s resolutions and typically breaking them after a few months (or days), I decided a few years ago to ditch them in place of what I call Love Your Life Goals. Setting these goals involves four simple steps:
Step 1: Kindly accept where you are right now.
Step 2: Reflect on what you loved about yesterday, last week, and last year.
Step 3: Clarify what you love about your life right now and what you want to find more of (the answers will be your Love Your Life Goals).
Step 4: Write down your Love Your Life Goals.
Your goals will be unique to you; one of my goals was to have even better relationships with my daughters and more quality family time together.
After working out what I want my goals to be, I set them into a workable timeline of daily, weekly, and longer-term deadlines. This helps me stay focused and chart my progress.
As a doctor and a mom, I was always taking care of everyone else. My own needs used to take a backseat. I needed a course correction in order to feel whole again.
I started by modifying my diet. I pursued a better diet, and ended up creating my Keto-Green plan. It was like magic! I had boundless energy. I dropped pounds quickly. My menopause symptoms vanished. My brain fog lifted, so I was able to make better decisions. My stress levels got better. I knew I was on to something big, something that turned my life around.
I encourage you to prioritize your own self-care, stay Keto-Green, and live the Keto-Green lifestyle. You’ll stay slim, sane, and sexy, feel more energetic, revive your libido, look and feel younger—and transform your life in ways you can’t even yet imagine. Take care of yourself now, and you will cement habits that will serve you well into your golden years.
Putting yourself first also means being good and kind to yourself and not beating yourself up when you suffer, fail, or feel inadequate. In short, it means treating yourself the way you would your best friend. Self-compassion is healing at many levels. It can bring you out of a depression and change your entire body chemistry by flooding your system with feel-good hormones.
A simple exercise is to look at yourself in the mirror, into your eyes, and speak loving truths to your precious self and do some positive coaching. Try saying: “You are so beautiful and just wonderfully created. You have the potential to do anything you really want to do. You are healthy, loving, kind, and good,” and continue from there. You may feel self-conscious, but you’ll also find that speaking kindly and encouragingly to yourself feels good. This is a powerful practice.
Research shows that if we make ourselves accountable by self-monitoring, we’ll be more successful at losing weight. Self-monitoring is the ability to both observe and evaluate your behavior and progress. There are lots of ways to self-monitor:
Test your pH and ketones regularly.
Monitor your blood sugar with Libre Freestyle or finger sticks periodically.
Measure your waist.
Hop on the scale.
Monitor your blood panels periodically, especially hsCRP, HbA1c, DHEA-S, and vitamin D.
Remember that journal you’re keeping? It’s a great place to record your self-monitoring results. That way you can track your progress and stay mindful of how your actions positively or negatively impact your ability to succeed. It can even serve as a warning device if your numbers are sliding off track.
With your milestones written down in black and white, you can periodically evaluate your progress, flipping back to previous weeks and gauging how well you’re sticking to your plan. If you’re slacking off and picking up old bad habits, make course corrections to get back on track.
Often the journey toward self-improvement can feel overwhelming. Here’s my solution. Ask yourself: “What’s the one next right step I can take today?” It might be as simple as eating a Keto-Green lunch, putting more green veggies on your plate, going to the gym tonight, fitting in an intermittent fast, pampering yourself with a massage or facial, or writing in your journal.
Just take the one next right step. This has kept me from trying to outrun my past and obsessing over the traumas, griefs, pain, failed relationships, and rejections I—like everyone else—have had. Looking back has a way of pulling us back. As I like to say, God gave us eyes in front of our face to look forward, not back.
When I’m frazzled by stress and the busyness of life, I turn to family and friends. I gather my loved ones, call my relatives who live out of town, or just get together with my friends. With each hug, ripple of laugher, and gesture of encouragement, my stress eases and I feel better.
As it turns out, these feelings—and these relationships—have long-term benefits. According to mounting evidence, positive connections create better health, with dividends that include a healthier heart and a longer life.
One reason is that being connected produces oxytocin. We make more of it when we feel love; when we share warm emotional contact of any type; when we give birth and cradle our newborn; and when we have sex. It’s an anti-aging hormone too, vital to healing and restoring hormonal balance.
The less oxytocin we make, the more free radicals we generate and the more susceptible we are to illness. But the opposite is true too: Being connected helps boost the immune system and prevent disease. Oxytocin also causes the cells lining artery walls to relax. When this happens, blood pressure normalizes—which ultimately means protection against heart attack and stroke. To stimulate all of these wonderful things, we must be connected to a loving community. Community is where we heal.
Here are some ideas to help you strengthen your connections and make the most of community in your life:
Say yes to invitations and opportunities as they present themselves. We can say yes too often and overcommit, so be cautious. But do make an effort to socialize. Because of stress and hormone changes, many of us can lean toward isolation. But a healthy and balanced social life is beneficial.
Don’t wait for invitations either. Take the initiative and invite a new or old friend over for a cup of coffee, or meet up somewhere for a drink or walk.
Nurture friendships. Oxytocin promotes a friend-seeking response in women. Women need other women—we guide each other, console each other, and celebrate with each other. The long-running Harvard-based Nurses’ Health Study found that the more close friends a woman has, the less likely she is to suffer physical ills as she ages. In fact, not having at least one true confidant can ultimately be as detrimental to your health as being a heavy smoker!
Join a support group. I’d suggest my Keto-Green Facebook community. It is an amazing group of women who share their trials and triumphs, ask questions about hormones and health, and offer support and encouragement to other women practicing my Keto-Green lifestyle.
Be generous. Giving is a way to increase oxytocin. Just try it and see. I regularly volunteer at church with the kids’ groups. I also created a foundation in honor of my late son, called the Garrett V. Bivens Foundation. Through it, we’ve done some very beautiful things, including teaching tots to swim and helping to found the House of Hope, a safe home and rehabilitation center for girls who’ve been caught up in human trafficking.
So tap into community. All the longest-living people in the world have this in common: a good social life and community. Both will give you a big dose of happiness and health. It’s a prescription that works.
I’m in my early fifties, and I think a lot about how I want to feel in my seventies and beyond. Years ago, being in your seventies meant being old. Not anymore! With our ability to reverse the aging process, ninety is the new seventy. We are living longer, and by taking action with diet, supplements, exercise, and mind-body work, we can slow down aging and join in the remarkable revolution in healthcare that emphasizes prevention over treatment. If you’re a woman in your forties, fifties, sixties, or older, ask yourself: “What do I need to do now to add quality, productive years to my life?”
I’m not talking emails or texts! I’m talking about taking pen to actual paper and writing notes to people to let them know I appreciate them, whether that is because of something they did or simply because of who they are to me. I will do this in my morning meditation time, sometimes challenging myself to do this ten days in a row.
There is something very gratifying about sitting down with paper and pen in hand and actually writing a well-thought-out thank-you note from the heart. It has a healing effect on my body, mind, and spirit.
How do you feel about yourself today? I have found a large percentage of people see themselves in a negative fashion, in some way. Maybe they think they are too fat or too thin. Maybe they don’t see themselves as “enough” of something—social enough, pretty enough, vibrant enough, or sexy enough. They may have a health issue or symptoms that they’ve just accepted as “the way things are” instead of trying to get healthier through lifestyle changes.
I believe that when we get in touch with how we really feel about ourselves and the world around us, it helps us to confront our issues and deal with them better. So if you are feeling fat, maybe it’s because you’re eating a lot of sugar, carbs, grains, or white stuff.
If you keep allowing negative beliefs to drive your behavior, you’ll throw roadblocks in the way of your success every time. The way you remove these roadblocks is to first recognize the effects of these beliefs in your life and then rewrite the underlying script. Work on releasing negative beliefs about yourself so that you can step into brilliance. You’re worthy of all the blessings coming your way.
Celebrate little wins along the way—losing a few pounds, going to the gym twice this week, getting rid of junk food in your kitchen, drinking lots of pure water, and so forth.
In building new habits, it helps to reward yourself in positive ways—even tiny ones, like giving yourself a thumbs-up, smiling in the mirror, getting some new lipstick, or just telling yourself you did a great job.
Achieving both short- and long-term goals requires ongoing motivation, which can be supported by regular infusions of feel-good dopamine, the ultimate pleasure and motivation “drug.” Good news: You don’t have to buy it or inject it. Dopamine is in your body naturally. You just have to supercharge it. Rewarding yourself and celebrating your accomplishments as soon as they happen causes surges of dopamine in your body.
Creating a healthy lifestyle can be challenging. Expect that at some point you’ll struggle with motivation. That’s normal. Use my Clean 16 to inspire you and keep you on track through this plan. With these strategies in mind, and with commitment, determination, and belief in yourself, there’s no reason you can’t achieve astounding success in sixteen days.