I’ve been in here for hours. Days. The light and noise have come again and gone again more than once. A hundred times. A thousand. More than. I haven’t slept.
When he begins to talk to me, I don’t know for sure that he’s talking or who it is. I’m not even sure that I’m hearing anything. I could be crazy.
“Why did you run?” he asks. “We’re saving the Earth and you ran away.”
Sabazios? “You’re going to destroy the Earth.” I’m not sure if I’ve said it aloud or not.
The lights come on. I squint against them, but they’re not the bright bright lights. I open my eyes. I look down at myself and I feel sick. I’m still in the chair, but my pants are dry again, stiff. I feel like I want to vomit, but I haven’t eaten or drunk anything since I’ve been here. I have nothing inside.
“Sabazios?” I ask. Even if it is him, even though he’s the one who has destroyed everything, the one who killed Corina, my parents, Sal, Erica, probably Paul and Cassandra, too, I want to hear his voice again.
Any voice.
“Yes, Alex,” he says. It’s coming from everywhere, above, below, in front, behind, left, right. Surround sound. Like God. “I’m here.”
“You’re going to destroy the Earth,” I say, but suddenly it doesn’t seem like it could be true.
“Who told you that?” he asks. He sounds hurt, sad.
“It’s true,” I say, but I’m not so sure.
“It’s not true, Alex,” he says, “and if you’re going to accuse me of things like that, I don’t think I want to talk with you.”
“No! Don’t go!” I need him to talk with me. Without him, there’s nothing but silence.
“I’m not going to destroy the Earth,” he tells me. “Do you believe me?”
“Yes,” I say. I do believe him. He’s here. He’s someone. I remember the rest of it, but somehow I can’t seem to make it important to me. All that matters is his voice and not being alone.
“Who told you that I was going to destroy the Earth?” he asks again.
I don’t remember. I try. I want to tell him. I want him to be happy with me, but I don’t remember. It was a long time ago. It was before I left the compound.
“Alex?” he prompts me. “Who told you?”
And then I remember. It was me. The moment comes back. I remember being in bed with Cassandra. I remember it all. The person who told me was me, but it hasn’t happened yet.
And it’s a witnessed future, which means I can’t die here.
I’m going to leave this room. Cassandra is alive and she’s going to leave this compound. Later, a while from now, she and I will be convinced enough that the Gentry are evil that I’m going to sidetrack my own witnessing to warn myself.
“I’m trying!” I tell him. “I’m trying to remember, but I can’t think. I don’t know anything at all.” I let the panic I’ve been trying to keep under wraps come out. I don’t have a plan yet, but I know I’m going to get out of this. I just need to change the situation so I can figure out what to do. “Can I have some water?”
“You can have water when you tell me, Alex,” he replies.
“I don’t want to tell you,” I say.
“Why not?”
“Because you’ll hurt him.”
“Hurt who?”
“I need water.”
“Tell me who, Alex.”
Here goes nothing: “It was Richard!” I yell. I sell it hard.
There’s a pause. Then: “Richard told you that I was going to destroy the world?”
“Yes!” I cry. “Yes—Richard told me. He came to me the day before you called me to your office when I ran. I thought for sure that you knew about it and that was why you’d called me in. I needed to get out of there before Bishop saw it with the probe. The probe—that probe is . . .”
“I don’t believe you, Alex.”
“It’s true. It’s true. If you look in my mind you can see it.”
“I can’t look in your mind, Alex,” he whispers. “That’s why I needed you in the first place. I’ll have to use the probe. Are you ready for me to use the probe? It won’t hurt if you just let it work.”
“Can I have something to drink first? And eat? And can I get clean?”
He doesn’t reply at first. Then: “Of course.”
There’s a noise behind me. I can’t turn around to see it, but I feel something tug at my arms. They’re brought behind me and I hear the metal before I feel the cuffs. There’s pressure on my neck near where the Live-Tech is attached, and then a jolt of electricity through me that makes me shudder.
I can move again.
“Stand up,” someone says behind me.
I do. I’m weak. Everything hurts. Everything is stiff.
“Turn around,” he says.
I do. I don’t recognize him. Another guard. Not Alan, Nick, or Gordon.
He shoves me through the door in front of him.