xii

A gentleman acknowledges and respects
life’s varying dress codes, but even
more, he respects himself.

A gentleman knows that it is he who has
been invited to the party, not his suit.

A gentleman knows that dressing up
may require going to great pains, but
he knows that, ultimately, the pain will
be forgotten in the fun.

A gentleman knows that looking
comfortable is far more important than
looking stylish. After all, style, without
comfort, is impossible.

A gentleman understands the
importance of first impressions.
A gentleman knows that, for good or ill,
he may be making a first impression any
time he walks into a room.

A gentleman knows that clothes do not
make the man. But he knows that, when
making a first impression, his wardrobe
may speak louder than his actions—
perhaps even louder than his words.

A gentleman knows that his
clothing is the first thing others
see—before he has a chance to offer
a handshake or open his mouth.

xiv

Confronted with clever dress codes, such
as “Festive Formal” or “Creative Black
Tie,” a gentleman has every right to dress
as traditionally as he chooses.
If a gentleman is not comfortable in his
clothes, he creates discomfort for himself
and for those around him.

If a gentleman is involved in the planning
of a social event, he shies away from
dress codes such as “Creative Black Tie”
or “Black Tie Optional.” He thinks back
to the times when he was confused about
what to wear to an occasion and does not
pass that misery on to other gentlemen.

No matter what the trends of fashion,
a gentleman knows the colors and cuts
in which he looks best.

A gentleman dresses to his strengths.

A gentleman knows that the simple
fact that a garment comes in his size
is no reason to assume that he is
supposed to wear it.

xv

When shopping for clothes, if a
gentleman has to think twice about
purchasing a garment—be it a suit,
a shirt, or a pair of socks—he is best
advised to put it back on the rack.

A gentleman remembers that the
models in fashion magazines are
six foot four and weigh 165 pounds.
If he is any shorter than that, or
weighs any more, he does not assume
that the clothes in the picture were
automatically meant for him.

No matter how short he may be, a
gentleman stands as tall as he can.

When a gentleman is
complimented on his appearance,
he accepts the compliment with
good grace, saying, “Thank you. It’s
kind of you to say that.”

When he is complimented on his
appearance, a gentleman never belittles
the compliment by saying, “Gosh, I’ve
had this old jacket since prep school. I’m
almost embarrassed to put it on.”

Although a gentleman may not dress
in the latest style, he dresses neatly,
making sure his linen is clean, his shoes
are polished, and his socks do not fall
down around his ankles.

A gentleman knows that the latest style
often is not the greatest style. It may, in
fact, have no style at all.

A gentleman feels complimented when
he is asked where he shops for his
clothes. He does not, however, brag
about his designer labels or the price
tags that accompanied them.
If an invitation prescribes a “casual”
dress code, a gentleman takes it at
its word, wearing jeans (or shorts)
and a polo shirt in warm weather or
a sweater and slacks in the winter.
He adds a sports coat only if he
wishes to do so, with full knowledge
that he may wish to discard it before
the evening is done.

When making a dinner reservation
at a fine restaurant (or even at
a more casual restaurant), a
gentleman always asks, “Do you
require that gentlemen wear
jackets?” The voice on the other
end of the phone may greet him
with laughter, but at least he knows
that, when he arrives at the front
door of the restaurant wearing a
polo shirt and slacks, he will not be
turned away.

When a gentleman shows up in an open
collar and shirtsleeves at a restaurant
requiring tie and jacket, he puts on
whatever tie and jacket are offered him.
Ill fitting though they may be, he wears
them throughout the evening without
comment or complaint.

If a gentleman is new to his area and
uncertain of the dress code for any
particular occasion, he asks his host
or hostess for advice, admitting his
ignorance—and his desire to make a
good impression.

On a formal or even semiformal
evening, and whether he is wearing
dinner clothes or a dark suit or sports
coat, a gentleman is always prepared
to remove his jacket to rescue a
shivering, bare-shouldered lady.

xix

After requesting that friends wear black
tie for an evening at his own home, a
gentleman may greet them wearing
a smoking jacket, along with the
remainder of black-tie regalia.

If a gentleman actually owns a
smoking jacket, he runs the risk
of being deemed an eccentric by
his friends.

No matter what the dress code,
a gentleman never attempts to
get dressed in a hurry. Inevitably,
his fingers will fumble, a button
will break, or a zipper will snap.
A gentleman has learned that
when he allows himself ample
time to dress and to care for his
appearance, such last-minute
difficulties seldom occur.

xx

When a gentleman has accepted the kind
invitation to be a groomsman or usher
at the wedding of a friend, and when he
learns that he may be asked to wear a
lime-green, powder-blue, or white tuxedo,
he has every right to ask, “Are you sure?”

If a gentleman is not absolutely certain
as to the dress code for an occasion,
he always prefers the risk of being
underdressed to that of being overdressed.
The former may be interpreted as a simple
misunderstanding; the latter suggests
conscious premeditation.