92
Socks and Underwear, Belts and
Suspenders, Gloves, Scarves, and
Overcoats, and All the Rest
A gentleman is not just a man of broad gestures. He is also a man of detail. His appearance is not meant to create a fuss. A gentleman knows that underneath it all, while he is holding the limelight with his witty conversation or his trenchant analysis of recent politics, the most seemingly insignificant of his accessories may steal away a listener’s attention, for good or for ill. He dresses well, not just from sole to crown, but from the inside out.
93
For any number of reasons, a
gentleman owns several pairs of nylon,
silk, nylon-and-silk, cashmere, or
nylon-and-wool black socks—all of
which he is confident will not bunch
down around his ankles during the
course of a dinner party.
A gentleman chooses his socks-of the-day
so that they blend with his slacks or his
suit pants—not so that they
match his shirt or tie, much less
his pocket square.
In hopes of adding a dash of color
to his wardrobe, a gentleman may
choose to wear brightly colored
socks with his dinner clothes. If so,
he makes sure that the break in his
pants legs is sufficient to keep his
little touch of excitement undercover,
at least while he is standing.
94
If a gentleman is of an athletic build
or is taller than five foot four, he buys
his socks in an over-the-calf length.
Otherwise, in order to prevent a
display of bare ankle above sagging
socks, his only option is to resort
to sock garters, which may still be
purchased although their heyday was
the 1930s, when gentlemen apparently
had no concern for the flow of blood to
their calves and feet.
Even if a gentleman does not anticipate
being in an automobile accident, he
remembers his mother’s advice and wears
clean underwear and hole-free socks
whenever he leaves the house.
A gentleman wears an undershirt,
especially if he is given to profuse
sweating or if he anticipates an evening
of energetic dancing.
95
When wearing a white dress shirt, a
gentleman refrains from wearing a T-shirt
advertising anything—be it a worthwhile
charity, a recent pub crawl, or a center for
automotive repair.
A gentleman selects his undershorts,
brief or boxer style, according to his
own preference, regardless of the event
he is attending.
A gentleman replaces his socks and his
underwear when they develop holes or
when the elastic begins to sag.
A gentleman knows that socks may
be darned. His underwear is another
matter entirely.
A gentleman does not use his belt as a
cinch rope to hoist a pair of slacks that
are too large for him.
96
When putting on his belt, even when he
is in a rush, a gentleman always checks to
make sure he has not missed a loop.
A gentleman never wears a belt when
he is wearing suspenders.
A gentleman never wears suspenders
when he is wearing a belt.
A gentleman buys a belt at least one size
larger than his pants size.
In almost every case, a gentleman
chooses a belt that comes close to
matching his shoes.
97
If a gentleman’s shoes are some
extraordinary color—such as red or blue—
he wears a black or cordovan belt, unless
he can find a belt in a complementary
shade of red or blue.
A gentleman understands that only
ladies fret over finding a belt to match
their red or blue shoes.
No matter how proud a gentleman
may be of his rodeo buckle, he
wears it only with his jeans.
A gentleman may tighten his belt as
severely as he wishes, but by doing so, he
impresses only himself and threatens to
cut off his circulation.
98
When the weather is cold, a
gentleman always wears gloves, but
not just to keep his hands warm. He
knows that cold fingers do not make
for a pleasant handshake.
Two gentlemen need not remove
their gloves when greeting each
other with a handshake on a frozen
sidewalk or at a football game.
When a gloved gentleman, in the midst
of frigid weather, extends his hand to
an ungloved person, he makes a simple
apology: “Excuse the glove.”
Unless he is an usher at a white-tie
wedding, or is a banquet waiter, it is highly
unlikely that a gentleman will ever be
required to wear white gloves.
99
If a gentleman owns a variety of
overcoats, he also owns a variety of
gloves to complement them.
A gentleman owns at least one
pair of dark leather gloves that he
reserves for special occasions.
If he can afford to do so, a gentleman
owns an everyday overcoat (perhaps
a sturdy trench coat) and an overcoat
for special occasions (perhaps of
camel hair, dark wool, or most
luxurious, cashmere).
If a married gentleman chooses to
wear a ring, he adds only one extra—
either a class ring, a simple cameo, or
a discreet signet ring.
100
If an unmarried gentleman elects to wear
a ring, he wears only one, selected from
the categories mentioned above.
If a gentleman can afford to do so, and
if his taste leads him to do so, he may
wish to purchase a variety of watches for
various occasions—some in a gold or brass
finish, some in chrome or silver, some
with brown leather bands, some with
bands of black leather.
If a gentleman owns only one watch,
he owns one he can wear with a suit—
and that means one with a classic
leather or metal band.
If a gentleman wishes to make
scrupulously sure that his watchband
matches his belt and other fittings, he
purchases a variety of inexpensive silk
ribbon bands, in a variety of colors, to
make him comfortable on all occasions.
101
When dressing for business, casual
affairs, or formal evenings, a gentleman
folds or arranges his pocket square neatly,
but with a minimal sense of theater.
The pattern of a gentleman’s pocket
square never precisely matches the
pattern of his necktie.
A gentleman makes sure that
he always has a neatly ironed
handkerchief, or two, at his disposal.
A gentleman may wish to equip
himself at all times with two
handkerchiefs: one handkerchief he
offers to a lady in distress, the other
to a handkerchiefless friend attacked
by a sneezing fit.
102
If a gentleman proffers his handkerchief
to a person attacked by a sudden fit of
sneezing or coughing, or if it is needed
for reasons of first aid, he does not ask
to have the handkerchief returned. If the
grateful handkerchief recipient insists
on returning the handkerchief, either on
the spot or after having it laundered, a
gentleman simply says, “No. Thank you. That will be quite all right.”