It had been a few days since Lauren had found out about Paige and Josh. It didn’t feel like anything had changed much. Lauren had been cold and aloof at work. Paige had asked her if things were okay between them a few times, and Lauren always said they were, but it didn’t feel that way.
Josh was Lauren’s family. He was forever. If this tension couldn’t be resolved in some way, then Paige would be the one pushed out. She could already feel her friendship with Lauren unraveling, which was frustrating because she couldn’t work out why. Lauren didn’t like that Paige and Josh were dating, but they weren’t doing anything to hurt Lauren. But Lauren was treating it that way.
Lauren wasn’t even there on Wednesday afternoon when Paige and Pablo ran the literacy program. They had a very enthusiastic group of six- and seven-year-olds who were very cute and surprisingly patient.
“I’ll tell you a secret,” said the teacher, a woman named Annette. They were helping kids pick books. “A lot of my students have working parents and have been in day care since they were two. They’ve had routines drilled into them since they were toddlers. They know what to do. I mean, every now and then you get an excitable kid or one whose parents did preschool at home. Take Owen, for example.” Annette gestured at a dark-haired boy who was chasing one of the cats across the room. “But these are well-behaved kids, for the most part.”
Paige found that a little cynical, but she nodded to make the teacher go away.
Between donations and the books Paige had bought with fundraising money, they had enough books on-hand for each kid to take three with some left over, so the kids had plenty to do. In most cases, once each kid picked a comfortable spot, at least one of the cats came over to sniff him or her and see what the kid was about. A few kids got two cats to sit near them, or sat together and had a rapt audience of cats.
A little boy had snuggled up to Mr. Darcy and read The Cat in the Hat to him, and it was so cute that Paige worried her heart might burst.
By the end of the hour, some of the kids were ready to beg their moms to get them a cat. Paige told them they could come back to the café to visit the cats at any time. Annette and the other teacher who had come were impressed that the kids had been so excited to read to the cats. The articles Paige had read were right; the kids seemed less inhibited when they didn’t think adults were listening.
As the kids filed out, Pablo agreed that it was a great success and they should do it again.
Sometimes it hit her how odd it was that she’d gone from arranging annual meetings for a big corporate bank to, well, this. She had no regrets, though. She loved this work and coming to the café was fun. She felt good about helping the cats. Paige had done so much outreach to shelters, volunteer organizations, and pet websites in Brooklyn, the Cat Café felt like a community space, and Paige was an integral part of that community.
Which was why she couldn’t lose this. It was hers.
So Paige felt good about that. This she could do. Romance, though?
She’d tried in vain to catch Josh on the phone all week, hoping for some kind of reassurance, and kept getting his voicemail message. He’d texted to apologize, but he was busy with his boss and the court case, which was apparently going as poorly as predicted. She wasn’t sure why that thought had popped into her head as she and Pablo picked up the books from where the kids had left them.
As they were adding the last of the wayward books to the stack on one of the tables, Diane appeared in the cat room. “Well, this must have been a success.”
“It went very well, Diane,” said Paige. “We had seven kids here, they each read at least two books, and even the most, uh, undisciplined kid sat and read a book aloud. The teachers were thrilled.”
“We should do this again,” said Pablo. “Maybe invite different schools or after school programs.”
“Weekday afternoons are usually our quietest time,” said Paige. “I think it could work. I’ll draw up a schedule and we can create a sign-up form for groups on our website.”
Diane laughed and said, “That is delightful. I am so glad this worked out.”
Pablo looked at his watch. “I gotta get back to the store. Thanks for letting me help out, Paige. This was fun. I’ll let my boss know it went well. If you need anything, let me know.”
“Sure. I’ll let you know about scheduling the next one, too.”
Pablo nodded and left.
“He’s cute,” said Diane.
“That’s the infamous Pablo that Evan is in love with. He works at Stories and has a boyfriend.”
Diane frowned. “Oh, pooh. Well, let’s get tea and you can tell me more about this event.”
After Paige gave Diane a recap over cups of Diane’s favorite rooibos tea, Diane asked, “Anything else going on?”
Paige was normally reluctant to disclose details about her personal life to Diane, who was a busybody of the first order and would likely give inappropriate and unworkable advice, as was her wont. But Paige remembered suddenly that Diane was a retired lawyer. “Actually, I have a weird question for you.”
“Shoot.”
“You used to work at a big corporate law firm, didn’t you?”
“I did. Why? Are you thinking about a career change?”
“No, no, nothing like that. I’m dating a lawyer. He’s a first-year associate at a big firm in midtown.”
“I assume you’re using the word dating loosely. If he’s a first-year associate, you must never see him.”
Paige laughed. “Yeah, that’s true. I saw him on Sunday, but we haven’t been able to connect since.” He had, in fact, canceled on their tentative plans, something he’d had to do more than once since they’d started seeing each other, and Paige wasn’t a fan, but she tried to be sympathetic. “And I guess maybe I was wondering if it would be worth it to wait out this first year or if it would get easier or what.”
Diane nodded. “It does ease off a little, but we worked our associates pretty hard at the firm where I worked. I mean, even back in my associate days, I was only able to see Winnie because she was a paralegal at the same firm. We tried to meet for lunch in the company cafeteria every day, and even then, I still had to miss it quite a bit.” Winnie was Diane’s late wife.
“I don’t think he likes the kind of law he’s doing. His boss is representing a shady businessman in a civil suit, and Josh, the lawyer I’m seeing, thinks the client is guilty, which I think is making him have second thoughts about taking this job.”
“Well, that’s something.” Diane smiled. “Although I guess it’s all relative. When I was still practicing law, I had a colleague who’d had enough of seventy-hour weeks and quit to take the lead council job at a start-up company so that she could, in her words, get her life back. And then the startup’s IPO ended up being a major disaster, and the job ate up all her time again. It’s sort of the curse of ambitious people. We want success, we want to work hard, but then what does that do to our personal lives?”
Paige sighed. She was conscious it was Diane she was talking to, and still she confided, “I really like this guy. More than anyone I’ve liked in a really long time. But the universe keeps throwing all these obstacles in our way. And I guess I’m wondering if it’s worth it to try to overcome those obstacles or if this is more trouble than I want to take on.” And that was really the crux of Paige’s problem now. She liked Josh, but did she like him enough to sacrifice her job and an important friendship, and did she like him enough to accept the scraps he could give her while he was getting established as a lawyer?
“Only you can answer that,” said Diane. “In my experience, love is always worth it, but if you don’t know if that’s what’s waiting for you on the other side, it can be hard to know.”
“How could anyone know that?”
“Well, exactly. That’s why love is always a risk. Love is putting yourself out there, making yourself vulnerable, and maybe you get hurt along the way, but maybe what you get is beyond your wildest dreams.” Diane smiled wistfully. “I can’t speak for Winnie or what was in her head all those years ago, but I like to think she waited me out because she knew we’d be great together.”
Paige nodded, but that didn’t get her any closer to a decision. “I don’t think I feel that way now. I mean, we’ve only been on a few dates. I can see where we have some potential, but I don’t know if it’s, like, forever, you know?”
“Maybe that’s your answer.”
That seemed cryptic to Paige and didn’t get her any closer to a decision.
“Well,” said Diane, “I’m having dinner in the city tonight, so I should get ready for that. It was wonderful speaking with you, and I am thrilled the event went well. I hope I was able to give you some useful advice, too.” She winked.
“Yeah,” said Paige, feeling more confused than ever. “Thanks, Diane.”
* * *
Josh’s case wasn’t being heard in the famous courthouse with the columns and the stairs, scene of many a tight-lipped argument or shoot-out on Law & Order, but rather at a different and far more nondescript courthouse up Centre Street. Josh couldn’t even get a good look at the architecture because the whole facade was covered in scaffolding while the building was being cleaned. He didn’t want to say he was disappointed—he was still getting to sit second chair on a trial—but everything from the building facade to the organized chaos at the security checkpoint to the inside of the courtroom which, frankly, looked more like a hospital room with benches than a courtroom, were not what he expected. And, really, how did people not get headaches sitting all day in a room with such bright lighting?
Mr. Provost didn’t do much more than let Josh observe, but Josh sat in a very uncomfortable wooden chair and jotted down notes as the plaintiff presented her case. The case itself was convincing and the jury looked bored. Josh had never been on a jury—the one time he’d been called for jury duty, he’d explained that he was in law school, and the attorneys had fallen over themselves to dismiss him—but he imagined sitting there listening with no phone or other distractions must have been dull as hell. The only time the jury perked up was when a court officer wheeled in a TV and they were shown the original commercial and a demonstration of a rubber mallet destroying a window from the defendant’s store.
Josh was allowed to keep his phone, and it buzzed eight or ten times in his pocket during the morning session. He was afraid to look at it, worried the judge would say something if the proceedings were not commanding his full attention. Provost focused on the testimony and asked some excellent questions on cross-examination, setting up his counter-theory of the case that the plaintiff was motivated to sue out of some nefarious agenda against the defendant and not because her window had shattered.
Around one, they recessed for lunch, at which point Josh thought it was safe to check his phone. As he pulled it out of his pocket, Mr. Provost said, “Good job today, kid. Let me take you to lunch.”
“Sure,” said Josh, although he wasn’t sure what job he’d performed aside from sitting there quietly.
Most of his messages were work related, but there was a text from Paige in there asking if he had time to talk. As he followed Mr. Provost to the restaurant, he texted back that he did not have time because he’d be in court all day, and he hoped that was okay.
“Responding to stuff from the office?” asked Provost as they walked to the restaurant.
“Oh, no, sorry, my girlfriend,” Josh said without thinking. Probably he should have said work, but too late now. He sighed and pocketed his phone.
“I dated a girl my first year as an associate,” said Provost, sounding a little nostalgic. “Great girl, but I hardly had time to see her.”
“I suppose that didn’t work out, did it?” Josh asked, pocketing his phone.
“She’s not my wife.”
Of course.
“I realize it’s tough the first year or two. We do put you new lawyers through your paces. But it’s in the interest of helping you learn. And certainly, the more hours you bill, the more money the firm makes, so it’s in our interest to keep you busy. But I remember how difficult it was.”
Josh supposed this was Provost’s way of being supportive and sympathetic. Josh nodded and thanked him. This didn’t stop Josh from fretting about Paige being mad at him all through what turned out to be a very good lunch at a little bistro two blocks from the courthouse. Once they were seated, Provost only wanted to talk about work, which was probably for the best because Josh wasn’t that interested in sharing his personal life with his boss.
When they returned to the courthouse, Provost said, “Your job this afternoon is to keep your eye on the jury and let me know if you have any impressions about how they react to testimony.”
“This morning, they looked bored, for the most part,” said Josh.
Provost nodded. “I worried about that. Extracting from the plaintiff witness list, this afternoon is going to be a lot of technical speak about the chemical properties of various kinds of window material, which will bore them more. My hope is that a good scandal will wake them back up when we present our defense.”
Josh was skeptical of this, but he nodded.
Provost’s prediction was correct, and Josh spent all afternoon sitting through testimony from a chemist who specialized in developing new kinds of clear, unbreakable materials. He was there to argue that, if the windows Giardino sold the plaintiff were indeed made out of the material he said they were, they wouldn’t have shattered in the way they did. Provost got him to admit that the storm that did break the plaintiff’s windows was a remarkable occurrence. A tornado had touched down in Brooklyn that night, and though it was a small one, the wind had been significantly faster than New York City typically saw, and there’d been more flying detritus in the air. Although there was no evidence that anything more harmful than a tree branch had gone through the plaintiff’s window, Provost got the expert to admit something larger could have. Josh knew there was a weather expert witness on the defense list who would testify about how rare tornadoes were in New York City.
When court adjourned for the day, Josh saw he had another text from Paige, but then he found himself in the DCL company limo headed back uptown as Provost peppered him with questions about juror facial expressions and whether the glass guy seemed reputable.
So when Josh returned to the office, he was so distracted he forgot to respond to Paige and wasn’t reminded again until about 9:00 p.m. as he took a car service to his apartment for a few hours’ sleep before he head to do this all over again. Being in court was no excuse for not getting through his regular workload, according to Provost.
He glanced at his phone and his heart sank. He texted Paige that he was sorry, but he wondered if he wasn’t adding fuel to the fire of the idea that now was not the right time for them. He thought about calling her, but he didn’t want to be overheard by the driver, and by the time he got home, he was so tired that he went straight to bed, Paige on his mind.