60 minutes (30 minutes for small-group discussion; 30 minutes for large-group discussion and debriefing)
Work L–M P, T, D, M
1. To identify how the value of respect was defined behaviorally in each participant’s family
2. To identify how the differences in definitions may lead to different behaviors at work and result in possible misunderstandings
• Flipchart and marking pens
1. Assign participants to small groups of 3–5 people and give the groups approximately 30 minutes to discuss the following:
• When I was growing up, who got respect in my family and elsewhere? Why?
• How, specifically, did I treat that (those) individual(s) to demonstrate my respect? (Ask participants to focus on roles such as “parent,” not the names of specific individuals.)
2. While the small groups hold their discussions, write the headings “Who,” “Why,” and “Behaviors” across the top of a sheet of newsprint.
3. Ask each small group to report the results of its discussion. As each group reports, record on the newsprint under the three columns who got respect and why and the specific behaviors identified, for example,
4. Select some contrasts and ask participants to discuss implications that this might have for the workplace.
As an example from the above chart, someone might say that a teacher received respect “just because” (status given). Someone else might say the teacher got respect because he or she worked hard to get an education (status earned). These different values regarding the granting of status might be exhibited in workplace behavior toward supervisors and managers. Conflict could occur if the supervisor learned that given status (i.e., the status given to the supervisor upon promotion to that position) was the key to respect and if the employee learned that status (i.e., respect) is earned by demonstrating one’s skills. The employee might not be displaying the respect that the supervisor feels she deserves.
Another example might be that many people get respect just because they are older. Explore the implications of this if the supervisor is younger than someone he or she supervises. Might this lead the supervisor to be somewhat reluctant to assert authority? Might this lead the employee to be more reluctant to listen to and take direction from the supervisor?
Ask the group to give other examples of potential value conflicts from the lists.
Note: This activity requires that you, as the facilitator, understand cultural value systems and have the ability to listen carefully for those values, because the participants may not know the reasons why they respect someone or the values that underlie their behaviors or expectations.
1. What happened? Where were there similarities? Differences?
2. How did you feel during these discussions? Were you alone in your choices? Was it easy or difficult to identify the reasons and/or behaviors? Why?
3. What values do you hold as an individual that were challenged during the discussion? Are there organizational values that are difficult for you because of your personal values?
4. What have you learned about yourself? About others?
5. How can you apply what you have learned to the workplace?
1. We learn values very early from our families—and later, from others—including who gets respect and why.
2. We learn how to behave in order to show respect very early—and those behaviors may not be the same for everyone.
3. Early lessons about who gets respect and how we should show it can affect the way we act and perceive others’ actions in the work environment.
4. If we have different ways of showing respect, it can lead to misperceptions and potential conflict.
© Executive Diversity Services, Inc., Seattle, Washington, 1989.